Short rap I wrote

[blazed620]

Ok so i like to write things, wether it be songs, raps, poetry, whatever. Well i was bored a second ago and wrote this short little rap, took me about 10 minutes. Just tell me what you think and critique it or whatever. And please ppl, DONT post YOUR songs, or raps

I get a sensation when I penetrate the teenage generation
It's insane when, I open her fuckin' mouth and fuck her fuckin' brains in
And I'm not changin, you better trust that
Infact, I'll blast your wack ass if your talkin that trash
Or I'll snag your stash and turn that green into some nasty ash
Smash the glass in your bachelor pad and watch me laugh
This jackass thinks this is all a joke
Just watch me toke as you see all your dreams go up in smoke

[Samwhore]

nice:)

[blazed620]

thanks

[MaryjaneAndHashley]

Ok so i like to write things, wether it be songs, raps, poetry, whatever. Well i was bored a second ago and wrote this short little rap, took me about 10 minutes. Just tell me what you think and critique it or whatever. And please ppl, DONT post YOUR songs, or raps

I get a sensation when I penetrate the teenage generation
It's insane when, I open her fuckin' mouth and fuck her fuckin' brains in
And I'm not changin, you better trust that
Infact, I'll blast your wack ass if your talkin that trash
Or I'll snag your stash and turn that green into some nasty ash
Smash the glass in your bachelor pad and watch me laugh
This jackass thinks this is all a joke
Just watch me toke as you see all your dreams go up in smoke

Sounds good, I luv ur avv

Giggity-Giggity-goo.
heh! heh! alllllllllllrite.

[PotHeed420]

if you want a good rap i'd suggest to write about something more meaningful and has an actual story behind it. wasn't bad though some lines were pretty straight but you gotta get a bigger vocabulary. i;d say the rap was pretty good though

[MastaChronic]

an enormous vocabulary is almost required to be a decent rapper

[kdspecial]

You better start rappin' not just typing.......

kd

[JeenYuss]

i can write better shit IN MY SLEEP

if i had to grade it i would call it some low grade mids

[JeenYuss]

someone should start a freestyle/keystyle thread i think some stoners can write good stuff & include songs and/or poetry too not just rap

[partyguy420]

has anyone done that yet?
heres the beging of a song i started freestyiling....

i got a 40 O.Z. of Olde E
it makes my life go E.Z.
i smoke 2 joints with Jay Z
You better pay me..

(i dont think ill quite my day job to become a rapper)

[spliffstar22]

comin up, a fucked up childhood,
i was like goddamn,
but now i'm on the block flippin
all the weight i can
don't get it twisted,
i ain't talkin bout a gram,
i'm talkin bout them bricks,
come on, hand me some grands

that's a couple lines off my mixtape, dropping soon, it's on the straight up menace beat

[Nochowderforyou]

You need some work on you're wiriting skills. MastaChronic said it, you need a huge vocab. to be write anything decent. Pick up a Thesorous(sp?) and find some more meaningful words to work with.

I like the opening line, but from there, it goes downhill.

The thing with rapping or hip-hopping, is the lyrics and words are your instrument. Using words in rap is like a guitar player playing a riff, or a bassist laying down a wicked bassline. Use the words as your weapon and instrument. Those words, I just see diarria of the mouth and hard talk. If you're going to rap hard, chose some better words.

My 2cents. :)

[Its a Plant]

...Stay in school and find a nice, secure 9-5...less disappointing that way...

That goes for most of the wannabes I see floating around here, too. ~

[spliffstar22]

Think what you want, im not no wannabe, i'm recording in a proper studio, being paid to record so say and think what you want to..... I'm signed to Headz Up Ent. which is in Toronto.......

[Its a Plant]

Lol, like I said...less disappointment...

As long as you not no nuthin', I'm cool g. ~

[suhl]

...Stay in school and find a nice, secure 9-5...less disappointing that way...

That goes for most of the wannabes I see floating around here, too. ~

hahahahahahaha its like you read my mind

[blazed620]

im not no wannabe...writing raps is just something i like to do in my free time. Is that wrong..?

I'll post a poem I wrote in another thread, and see what you think of it...i gues its something more "meaningful"....

[CanaDanKs Inc.]

You need some work on you're wiriting skills. MastaChronic said it, you need a huge vocab. to be write anything decent. Pick up a Thesorous(sp?) and find some more meaningful words to work with.

I like the opening line, but from there, it goes downhill.

The thing with rapping or hip-hopping, is the lyrics and words are your instrument. Using words in rap is like a guitar player playing a riff, or a bassist laying down a wicked bassline. Use the words as your weapon and instrument. Those words, I just see diarria of the mouth and hard talk. If you're going to rap hard, chose some better words.

My 2cents. :)

Actually no offense but as a beat maker, no rapper will ever replace my wicked basslines. :rasta:

[konqrr]

someone should start a freestyle/keystyle thread i think some stoners can write good stuff & include songs and/or poetry too not just rap

I hate keystylin cuz I cant add my flow to it like I could on a mic. Im not a serious MC or anything but its something I do when Im bored...just smoke a blunt and kick some rhymes.

[Mista Sippi]

someone should start a freestyle/keystyle thread i think some stoners can write good stuff & include songs and/or poetry too not just rap

http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=80152

come drop some lines and keep the thread alive, even if it's amateur, I love checkin everybody's style.

[187]

comin up, a fucked up childhood,
i was like goddamn,
but now i'm on the block flippin
all the weight i can
don't get it twisted,
i ain't talkin bout a gram,
i'm talkin bout them bricks,
come on, hand me some grands

that's a couple lines off my mixtape, dropping soon, it's on the straight up menace beat

is that serious

[lagstronaut]

Think what you want, im not no wannabe, i'm recording in a proper studio, being paid to record so say and think what you want to..... I'm signed to Headz Up Ent. which is in Toronto.......


i don't wanna dishearten you in poor fashion
but a necessity is the quality of the jibber-jabber in your passion
a nosedive will keep you all but alive despite what you preach
and marketing schemes will make you nothing but a leech
you'll starve in the world you seek despite your record label's rations
to the point where even freedom of speach becomes out of your reach
as the pendulum arrives to show you no compassion
and you're swallowed whole by what i'm about to teach


that's my first rap ever, 2007 lagstronaut bitch ha-ha! holla at your boy laggzzzz


Okay, so really what I'm trying to say is when you're trying to tell somebody you aren't a wannabe, the worst possible way to do that is by telling them you're signed to a label. Is this going to be Spliffstar's dream record or Headz Up Entertainment's January 2007 vision? make sure you know which is which, because a lack of musical integrity is not worth promotion


BRAP BRAP

[spliffstar22]

my album was actually finished before i got signed, so all the hunger and fire in the flow is still there........It's a basic deal, nothing big yet, but it is a start...and some good studio time, i can go to the studio 24/7, and spit that fire, i went last week fresh from club, drunk as fuck, and spat a hot 16 on the first single, with 5 of my boys who are getting on with DJ Starting from Scratch, and that track, fuck it the whole album is gonna bring tdot to where it should be in the rap game......

[cuatro:twenty]

You need some work on you're wiriting skills. MastaChronic said it, you need a huge vocab. to be write anything decent. Pick up a Thesorous(sp?) and find some more meaningful words to work with.

I like the opening line, but from there, it goes downhill.

The thing with rapping or hip-hopping, is the lyrics and words are your instrument. Using words in rap is like a guitar player playing a riff, or a bassist laying down a wicked bassline. Use the words as your weapon and instrument. Those words, I just see diarria of the mouth and hard talk. If you're going to rap hard, chose some better words.

My 2cents. :)
bravo, bravo.

[lagstronaut]

fuck it the whole album is gonna bring tdot to where it should be in the rap game......

[email protected] let's hear a few of your tracks then big shot :S5:

[kdspecial]

Think what you want, im not no wannabe, i'm recording in a proper studio, being paid to record so say and think what you want to..... I'm signed to Headz Up Ent. which is in Toronto.......

I work in a Rec studio in Toronto. As well I make beats and produce with the catz at EMI studios. shot me some of the info to the Headz Up Crew. As I can't find a webpage... or any repesentation.

Check out www.somuchsoul.com Its the record company me and my Buddy started a while back. Its trip Hop instrumental beatz.. and hip hop... As well I have worked with VDR records.. Which I believe is from your area.

Somone needs to put T.O on the map again cuz no one has since Figure Four.... with Northern Touch... No one does it like they did... that was some serious shit Canada got into back in da day....they put canada on the map for hiphop.. Thru music as well as Politics... I miss it man Saukrates, Thrust, rascalz, Choclair there was a good flood of Canadian shit back then.

Now most of my beats go to SoMuchSoul or are tried to be sold to the states thru networks,, but most end up with drug dealer ganster catz from the GTA for their mix tapes and hommies.

My Main job is the studio which is right downtown. close to EMI

Good luck with your album... post some links...


kd

[kdspecial]

Another thing I thought I should add,, is whatever your doing In Canada you gotta do it different.

there has been no big hip Hop out of Toornto cuz no one is really doing too much differnet. Adn only the catz who are, are the ones getting signed. I don't mean signed to you Local Rec company that cosists of a guy in a basment with a mic and a computer or a small $10,00 studio setup.

I mean signed by a mAjor like EMI,Sony, BMG etc...

Look at K-os hes pretty dang sick man,, and his albums are extreamly detailed musiclly as well as lyrically and most important they SOUND DIFFERENT from any other album thats out there in Canada... He has his thing... he works it to a Teee...

Look at Kannan he did well with his small release, he toured did shows. And most important thing I noticed about his album was again... it was different. the music was different.the main single was so unique sounding and he told you that in the hoook... with the reference to the guitars and shit and he also said fuk what you think I like the guitars and stuff... thats creative... thats why it went and took him as far as it did.. Lets face it it wasn't promtion that made it sell.. In canada good luck getting promotion for a hip hop album or evern a rock one. THeres no money here for that.. In canada you make it as a showman or a writter...

TO make it in canada in the Hip Hop world you gotta sound different in the Music and the writtings. Its the only way....

if you don't have that going you just another basment Rec company, trying to look massive.....

thats my 2 cents.... I gotta get back to mixing... Im mixing and building SFX for a TV show...

thats how you get paid in this Bizz in Canada TV and Commercials.... hahaha theres no money in music.... hahahha

but you can still have your passion on the Side,,, thats what www.somuchsoul.com is for me my passion and FUN and believe it or not we have made a small amount of money fromi itunes sales in the UK and Japan... very small though

kd

[Prunedale]

AHHH Lemme get in here lol.
I appreciate the ambition you MC's or wannabes or whatever put forth. If you're getting paid to record thats great. Hope you know whats in the deal cause you're probably gettin the short end. Theres haters everywhere so we all take that with a grain of salt letting others see our stuff.

Its just amazing to see what some MC's think good rap is.
And homies right its with somethin behind it as well as clever rhyming of words and sylled out to the beat your on.

I've gone through alot of people comin up.

Recording in a pro studio requires nothing but 75-150 an hour. Engineer provided.. Don't give yourselves credit.. Give yourselves Hope... and a lil bit of humble greatfulness with the satisfaction of being creative.

Peace.

[Prunedale]

is that serious

Lol

[MOBABN]

weak.

[kdspecial]

AHHH Lemme get in here lol.
I appreciate the ambition you MC's or wannabes or whatever put forth. If you're getting paid to record thats great. Hope you know whats in the deal cause you're probably gettin the short end. Theres haters everywhere so we all take that with a grain of salt letting others see our stuff.

Its just amazing to see what some MC's think good rap is.
And homies right its with somethin behind it as well as clever rhyming of words and sylled out to the beat your on.

I've gone through alot of people comin up.

Recording in a pro studio requires nothing but 75-150 an hour. Engineer provided.. Don't give yourselves credit.. Give yourselves Hope... and a lil bit of humble greatfulness with the satisfaction of being creative.

Peace.


He is totally right...

And As Perseverence put it in a SoMuchSoul Production
(www.somuchsoul.com)

Perserverence --- Stayin' Tru
"Staying Tru to yourself no matter how it might seem"
"Staying Tru to yourself as a Hip Hop Mc"
"Staying Tru To yourself its just how its supposed to be"
"Staying Tru To yourself ,, Forget everyone else"

These lines don't make money, sell drugs or an image but its the truth about a real artist. And it made for a perfect Hook... :D :D

kd_special

:D :D