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Lulu
11-23-2004, 07:38 PM
Once again, it's time to review the winners of the Annual Stella
Awards.


The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself & successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the
Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
States.

Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds & the teens
who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after
the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will, undoubtedly, top the
2004 awards list.


THE WINNERS
5th place (tied) :
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th place (tied):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 &
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.


5th place (tied):Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning.
He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house &
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation & Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on
a case of Pepsi he found & a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house
owners insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place:Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 & medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the
fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.


3rd place:A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink & broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place:Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor &
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was
trying to crawl through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 & dental expenses.


1st Place:This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On
his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway,
he set the cruise control at 70 mph & calmly left the drivers seat to
go into the back & make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV
left the freeway, crashed & then overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not advising him, by reading the owner's manual, that he
actually could not do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new
Winnebago Motor Home.
The company actually changed their manuals to alert against this act on
the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles ! ! !

GHoSToKeR
11-23-2004, 07:46 PM
the world's gone mad.. seriously.....

apsinthion
11-23-2004, 07:53 PM
I'm gonna sue Lulu for the shock caused by changing her thread from pink to green!:D

It's reading this sort of thing that make's me wonder why I bother to go to work everyday when I could just go out and fall over and make a mint lol.:D

I enjoyed it anyway though.;)

Lulu
11-23-2004, 08:02 PM
I'm gonna sue Lulu for the shock caused by changing her thread from pink to green!:D
Hahahahaha :D sry babes :o
All the pink nearly blinded me, thought green was more soothing ;) :p

maryjanemama
11-23-2004, 08:07 PM
I have a real life example: Some ppl down the road are the epitome of white trash. There are, like, 5 or 6 crappy trailors up on a hill (not saying there's anything wrong with living in a trailor, you've got to see it to know what I mean). The guy that used to own it all was a major coke head who beat his wife, smashed the windows out of her car at every oppurtunity, shot at her with a shotgun, you name it. She worked, he sat on his ass, blew lines, and ate like a pig. He was overweight and disgusting. One day the bastard had a stroke.

His wife sued the hospital over a minor technacality and won 1.2 million dollars. Not that she didn't deserve it but the guy practically killed himself, anyway. So now she remodeled the house in front of the trailor with that God awful log cabin siding and left all trailors behind it. And she put in a new pool and left the old one where it is to rot until enternity. They are like the 2004 version of the Beverly Hillbillies.

Oh, yeah, and her oldest son took his portion of the money and blows it on it demi cars and travels to all of the local fairs. He tows the smashed up cars behind his pickup and then he dumps them all in a heap behind the trailors. It's fucking beautiful.

Imotep
11-23-2004, 10:39 PM
the world's gone mad.. seriously.....

I beleive all those examples were from but one of the worlds many countries lol.

GooseBear
11-23-2004, 11:38 PM
..........why can't I will the lottery..........why couldn't I have torn my acl on the floor of walmart where there were no wet floor signs instead of playing basketball........I think sueing is getting out of hand........ahhhhhhh where is the USA going mad
lol Imotep

RESiNATE
11-24-2004, 06:19 AM
Nice one, Lulu :D :D

Ever since "L.A.Law" was screened, there seemed to be an explosion of ridiculous law-suits.

I mean, the only reason that the notice "CAUTION: Contents may be hot!!", is on 'take-out' coffee cups, is because some daft bint burnt her lips!..Duh!

I heard a story once about a woman who tried to sue a car manufacturer, because the air-bag in her car caused skin burns on her chest, following an accident!
Geez, some people need a slap!

Soon, everything that we buy, is gonna be so clogged up with 'health warnings', that the packaging is going to have to be huge, just so that we can get them all on, and still see wtf we are buying!

Like, there'll be health warnings on bags of peanuts that say "WARNING: May contain traces of nuts!"...ffs

GHoSToKeR
11-24-2004, 08:27 AM
lol

my boxers have a label saying "keep away from fire" lol that still cracks me up

Imotep
11-24-2004, 10:43 AM
haha keep away from fire. lmao!

c'mon c'mon li-sten to the money talk :D

High phy
11-24-2004, 02:43 PM
I remember this light bulb that have the legend "For interior and exterior use only"
Spend some time thinking which enviroment it this light bulb warning me against...

socks
11-24-2004, 04:08 PM
Like, there'll be health warnings on bags of peanuts that say "WARNING: May contain traces of nuts!"...ffs

There are, there are....i got a bag of cashews n i ws like wtf.... i thought these were nuts anyway...*confused*

And then....i forgot about it

Reefer Rogue
11-24-2004, 04:42 PM
god bless america... ;)