I need help...

[Oneironaut]

Well, I'm 21 and I'm like the only virgin I know. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not attractive, maybe I'm too weird, maybe I'm just not trying the right way, but something's up. I have never had a girlfriend and I've kissed two girls in my entire 21 years of existence (one of them doesn't count cause she only kissed me once real quick to make another kid jealous).

I have no clue what to do. Every day it gets worse, since every day my peers are getting older and more sexually experienced while I lag behind, becoming ever less desirable than the competition. The thing is, I just don't know where to meet girls or how to talk to them if I like them. People tell me that the right girl will just "come along" eventually, but that strategy doesn't seem to be working when I spend most of my free time in my room alone with no place to go. And they tell me to just "be myself" around girls, but that's what I've been doing anyways and it's pretty obvious that being myself for 21 years has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Every time I try to talk to someone about it, I get those two pieces of bad advice, and every time I follow it, continuing to wait around and be myself, and continuing to become crazier and crazier because of my sexual frustration.

I'm a smart, nice, funny guy. I never argue or fight with people, and I'm super-nice to just about everybody I meet. And still, I can't even manage to make any regular friends, much less get a girl to want to fool around with me. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. What's even more confusing, is that the sexually active guys around me are all total assholes to women all the time! They insult, offend, and abuse women, and they get laid all the time. What do girls see in such pricks? Why do the nice guys finish last?

Sometimes I try to ignore it all, and sometimes I succeed for a while, but it always comes back to haunt me. It's really depressing, and I think it's causing me psychological problems. I often have thoughts of committing suicide, and though I know I would be too scared to actually do it, the very fact that these thoughts keep coming up in my head frightens me. It tells me there's something seriously wrong with my life here and I need to fix it.

[birdgirl73]

Do you have any friends who are girls? Talking to them is basically like talking to anyone else. If you do have some friends who are girls, have them coach you a bit. Girls like guys who communicate, as a rule, because they know where they stand with them. If you don't have any girl friends, you need to cultivate some.

OK, one of my son's friends had the same problem with virginity, and it was making him depressed, too. Finally, he met a friend of one of his cousins who was willing to do her duty in the service of manhood and let him get his first time out of the way with her. That seemed to help him feel less different, but he still doesn't naturally connect with ladies in the same way the other guys do. In your case, like his, I believe it's the fact that he's a great deal smarter and so is different from the rest of his crowd. Young women often don't have the same discriminating tastes when they're in their late teens or early twenties that they later develop, and so they still tend to gravitate to the regular-Joe guys. Later when they get more mature and discerning, they learn that it's the irregular Joes who make for more interesting--and kinder--lovers and friends. In some ways, it'd be ideal if you could meet women who are a few years older so they're already past the regular-Joe phase of their lives.

You've got to put yourself in the path of some very smart girls, Oneironaut. I know you're not religious, and I wonder if some like-minded girls might not be present at the nearest Unitarian fellowship. What about clubs or activities from your college? What about online dating? What about setups through friends? What about a part-time job--or just frequent hanging out--at a nearby bookstore? It's a matter of arranging it so you'll have as many possible interactions with intelligent women so you get more exposure.

It's hard for you to hear the "Be patient" advice, I'm sure. But if you can hang on until you actually meet someone you like and have some things in common with, ultimately that's going to be a more satisfying relationship, sexually and emotionally. As you know, there are tons of guys out in the world whose sole mission is to nail girls, and there are plenty of girls out there who don't have the self-esteem to know there's more to relationships than being the latest "nailee." Work on cultivating the friendships/relationships first, and the sex should eventually follow. Above all, quit denigrating yourself for not having passed this self-imposed milestone. That's just making you feel worse, and chances are the negativity and insecurity that you’re reinforcing for yourself are probably showing through on some level and may even be adding to the problem. Good luck!

[lil josh]

ok personally i have not ever had these problems but one of my friends seems to be sorta having this problem. basically i think yu should go to a few bars/clubs liek birdgirl said put yourself in places wher your most likley to interact with women.

it depends how you want your first time to be? the easyest way would probably to find a local get-around at a club/bar and go sumwhere with her to have sex, this is not advised if you want your first time to be special as to these sort of girls 'its just a fuck'.

[Skink]

You need to get married,,,find an overweight girl at the supermarket and propose marriage...

[sweet jane]

you can't just wait for someone to come along.... follow wise, wise birdgirl's advice. meeting as many girls as you can is step one... but then Pick One that You like, don't just wait for someone to find you. be smart about your choice... once you've found somebody specific you want to get, get back to us. thats a whole new set of directions ;)

[Skink]

go to the supermarket and just start talking to someone about the food in there cart... go to the Laundromat and borrow some soap... Dude people are alike in many ways and the one that is not talking could be as shy or shyer "is that a word???" than you...

[gabee42ee]

girls love confidence ... to get girls you don't have to even be good looking you just have to be confident in yourself... talk to girls and put urself out there a little and know what a great person you are

birdgirl howd u get to be so smart?

[birdgirl73]

I'm not particularly smart, Gabee. Just old!!

[LIP]

I'm not particularly smart, Gabee. Just old!!

Old is code for Experienced.

[Reefer Rogue]

Well, I'm 21 and I'm like the only virgin I know. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not attractive, maybe I'm too weird, maybe I'm just not trying the right way, but something's up. I have never had a girlfriend and I've kissed two girls in my entire 21 years of existence (one of them doesn't count cause she only kissed me once real quick to make another kid jealous).

I have no clue what to do. Every day it gets worse, since every day my peers are getting older and more sexually experienced while I lag behind, becoming ever less desirable than the competition. The thing is, I just don't know where to meet girls or how to talk to them if I like them. People tell me that the right girl will just "come along" eventually, but that strategy doesn't seem to be working when I spend most of my free time in my room alone with no place to go. And they tell me to just "be myself" around girls, but that's what I've been doing anyways and it's pretty obvious that being myself for 21 years has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Every time I try to talk to someone about it, I get those two pieces of bad advice, and every time I follow it, continuing to wait around and be myself, and continuing to become crazier and crazier because of my sexual frustration.

I'm a smart, nice, funny guy. I never argue or fight with people, and I'm super-nice to just about everybody I meet. And still, I can't even manage to make any regular friends, much less get a girl to want to fool around with me. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. What's even more confusing, is that the sexually active guys around me are all total assholes to women all the time! They insult, offend, and abuse women, and they get laid all the time. What do girls see in such pricks? Why do the nice guys finish last?

Sometimes I try to ignore it all, and sometimes I succeed for a while, but it always comes back to haunt me. It's really depressing, and I think it's causing me psychological problems. I often have thoughts of committing suicide, and though I know I would be too scared to actually do it, the very fact that these thoughts keep coming up in my head frightens me. It tells me there's something seriously wrong with my life here and I need to fix it.

Go to Amsterdam, get high as hell, find the most attractive prostitute you can and have sex with her. May not be your cup of tea but it stopped my depression. I know for a fact i'll never fuck a women as beautiful again, it's just money, like i said, it was worth it to me. Some people will call me pathetic and sad, and to those people, i accept their opinion. I've been going through some rough times with women recently, especially with this one girl that i spent so much time with and it didn't materialize into anything physical. I've never been in love with a girl but i know that's the closest i've ever come. She'll have sex with all these other guys but not me... I'm just a friend to her. When she rejected me it pushed me over the edge with depression. I had to do something. Obviously i would've preferred my first time to be with someone who actually cared about me, since i couldn't get that i did the next best thing.

This new year i've made a commitment to get a girlfriend asap. I'm actually going to actively try, unlike before, i've been over analysing why i've gotten rejected instead of not letting it bother me. I really feel for you bro coz i can relate, i doubt my advice helped at all but oh well. I wish you the best of luck man, it can be done, don't give up!

[LIP]

Go to Amsterdam, get high as hell, find the most attractive prostitute you can and have sex with her. May not be your cup of tea but it stopped my depression. I know for a fact i'll never fuck a women as beautiful again, it's just money, like i said, it was worth it to me. Some people will call me pathetic and sad, and to those people, i accept their opinion. I've been going through some rough times with women recently, especially with this one girl that i spent so much time with and it didn't materialize into anything physical. I've never been in love with a girl but i know that's the closest i've ever come. She'll have sex with all these other guys but not me... I'm just a friend to her. When she rejected me it pushed me over the edge with depression. I had to do something. Obviously i would've preferred my first time to be with someone who actually cared about me, since i couldn't get that i did the next best thing.

This new year i've made a commitment to get a girlfriend asap. I'm actually going to actively try, unlike before, i've been over analysing why i've gotten rejected instead of not letting it bother me. I really feel for you bro coz i can relate, i doubt my advice helped at all but oh well. I wish you the best of luck man, it can be done, don't give up!

I wouldnt call you sad, infact im going to be getting me a lady friend in the dam next year when i go, smoke a fat doobie and shag her senseless.

[Reefer Rogue]

Lol, the next time I go i'll prob do the same :D

[robert42]

Go to Amsterdam, get high as hell, find the most attractive prostitute you can and have sex with her. May not be your cup of tea but it stopped my depression. I know for a fact i'll never fuck a women as beautiful again, it's just money, like i said, it was worth it to me. Some people will call me pathetic and sad, and to those people, i accept their opinion. I've been going through some rough times with women recently, especially with this one girl that i spent so much time with and it didn't materialize into anything physical. I've never been in love with a girl but i know that's the closest i've ever come. She'll have sex with all these other guys but not me... I'm just a friend to her. When she rejected me it pushed me over the edge with depression. I had to do something. Obviously i would've preferred my first time to be with someone who actually cared about me, since i couldn't get that i did the next best thing.

This new year i've made a commitment to get a girlfriend asap. I'm actually going to actively try, unlike before, i've been over analysing why i've gotten rejected instead of not letting it bother me. I really feel for you bro coz i can relate, i doubt my advice helped at all but oh well. I wish you the best of luck man, it can be done, don't give up!

HELL YEAH MAN! I FUCKED A PROZZY TOO WOHOO ;)

IM PROUD

[deltron]

Yeah, go fuck a prostitute, so when you find a girl who actually likes you, you can provide her with some sexually transmitted diseases.

Pretty sure that is the worse advice ever.

Personally i find the major factor in hooking up with women is alcohol. Get drunk, find a drunk girl, and voila.

[robert42]

Yeah, go fuck a prostitute, so when you find a girl who actually likes you, you can provide her with some sexually transmitted diseases.

Pretty sure that is the worse advice ever.

Personally i find the major factor in hooking up with women is alcohol. Get drunk, find a drunk girl, and voila.

and rape is so much better :rolleyes: :p

[LIP]

Yeah, go fuck a prostitute, so when you find a girl who actually likes you, you can provide her with some sexually transmitted diseases.

Pretty sure that is the worse advice ever.

Personally i find the major factor in hooking up with women is alcohol. Get drunk, find a drunk girl, and voila.

Someone's never heard of Condoms... as long as they dont rip and shes not a dirt slut there's no problems...

[deltron]

and rape is so much better :rolleyes: :p

Hah! Pretty sure that wasnt where i was goin with this. The man just needs a fuckin make out session to get him back on track.

Seriously boys, fucking hookers is pretty sad.

[deltron]

Someone's never heard of Condoms... as long as they dont rip and shes not a dirt slut there's no problems...

I would maybe fuck a hooker on an extreme occaision, like winning the lottery or some shit.

Pussy is one thing in life that is free. And that is the way it should be.

[LIP]

Hah! Pretty sure that wasnt where i was goin with this. The man just needs a fuckin make out session to get him back on track.

Seriously boys, fucking hookers is pretty sad.

Well, while im fucking her im not sad, and when i give her my money shes not sad... so sadness doesnt really come into the equation.

[Oneironaut]

Well, I've actually thought about the whole prostitute thing, and I'd really like to do it, if I could get to Amsterdam. But I'm way too poor for that. I don't have a couple hundred dollars to blow on a plane ticket to Holland.

Do you have any friends who are girls? Talking to them is basically like talking to anyone else. If you do have some friends who are girls, have them coach you a bit. Girls like guys who communicate, as a rule, because they know where they stand with them. If you don't have any girl friends, you need to cultivate some.
Well, I don't really have any "friends". Never have. My social life for the past 21 years has been one gigantic failure story.

But there is one girl from work that I've just started hanging out with. I've been thinking about having a talk with her about it, and I guess I could try that out. It'll be a while though, since I have to wait until we have some time in private to talk.

OK, one of my son's friends had the same problem with virginity, and it was making him depressed, too. Finally, he met a friend of one of his cousins who was willing to do her duty in the service of manhood and let him get his first time out of the way with her. That seemed to help him feel less different, but he still doesn't naturally connect with ladies in the same way the other guys do. In your case, like his, I believe it's the fact that he's a great deal smarter and so is different from the rest of his crowd.
True, I have been called smart by just about everybody I've met, but I can't fathom why that would make me any less desirable to women. Usually they're actually somewhat impressed by my intelligence, and say nice things about it.

Young women often don't have the same discriminating tastes when they're in their late teens or early twenties that they later develop, and so they still tend to gravitate to the regular-Joe guys. Later when they get more mature and discerning, they learn that it's the irregular Joes who make for more interesting--and kinder--lovers and friends. In some ways, it'd be ideal if you could meet women who are a few years older so they're already past the regular-Joe phase of their lives.
It would be ideal, but I don't have any room to pick and choose what kind of women I'd like to meet. My problem is that I'm hardly meeting any at all.

You've got to put yourself in the path of some very smart girls, Oneironaut. I know you're not religious, and I wonder if some like-minded girls might not be present at the nearest Unitarian fellowship. What about clubs or activities from your college? What about online dating? What about setups through friends? What about a part-time job--or just frequent hanging out--at a nearby bookstore? It's a matter of arranging it so you'll have as many possible interactions with intelligent women so you get more exposure.
I suppose that might help, but still I run into a lot of problems even when I meet smart girls. I just never know what to say, or how to deal with them on an emotional level (I really really don't have any experience relating to people on a deeper level than casual acquaintanceship). And of course, there's the persistent problem that every girl I ever meet is already screwing somebody.


It's hard for you to hear the "Be patient" advice, I'm sure.
It is. I've been hearing it for almost ten years, and I've been as patient as I can be. But I don't know how much longer I can last. The depression is really eating away at me, and it's starting to affect the rest of my life. I'll start tearing up at random inappropriate moments (like at work), and I can't help but to feel intense envy and resentment every time I see a happy couple. Sigh...

But if you can hang on until you actually meet someone you like and have some things in common with, ultimately that's going to be a more satisfying relationship, sexually and emotionally.
I'm sure it would be, but again I can't be picky right now. Any relationship at all would be a welcome respite from my solitude.

As you know, there are tons of guys out in the world whose sole mission is to nail girls,
I know. They keep ruining things for me. Do you know how many times a week I hear from some girl that men are all just horny assholes who can't treat them with respect? But they stay with their assholes anyways, and it kills me to know that I would never treat them like that.

and there are plenty of girls out there who don't have the self-esteem to know there's more to relationships than being the latest "nailee." Work on cultivating the friendships/relationships first, and the sex should eventually follow. Above all, quit denigrating yourself for not having passed this self-imposed milestone.
I can't help it. I know on a purely rational level that there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but my irrational body is screaming for me to do something about this, and it's kind of hard to ignore it. Damn genes...

That's just making you feel worse, and chances are the negativity and insecurity that youâ??re reinforcing for yourself are probably showing through on some level and may even be adding to the problem.
Probably.

Good luck!
Thanks, I'll need it.

[Way2many]

oh my god man this is perfect look here everything you just said right here to us spill that too a chick that you kind of know and that will get you laid for sure..i know i was a virgin until 16 and the girl i lost it to was "a virgin killer" which means she only fucked virgins cause she liked taking virginty from peeps.

[AlwaysBlazed]

I feel you, im in a dry spell now im going on 3 months now (not counting making out or anything). I'm 16 and although I don't seem like the kid, I am waiting for the right girl to lose my virginity to... man when I think about the opportunities I passed up :jointsmile:

I'd also like to add though.. that I have pretty much taken a break from trying to get girls.

Some advice? Honestly, from what I've seen girls are attracted to fucking badasses, so go kick someones ass and then take his girlfriend.

[Skink]

Well, I've actually thought about the whole prostitute thing, and I'd really like to do it, if I could get to Amsterdam. But I'm way too poor for that. I don't have a couple hundred dollars to blow on a plane ticket to Holland.

Well, I don't really have any "friends". Never have. My social life for the past 21 years has been one gigantic failure story.

But there is one girl from work that I've just started hanging out with. I've been thinking about having a talk with her about it, and I guess I could try that out. It'll be a while though, since I have to wait until we have some time in private to talk.

True, I have been called smart by just about everybody I've met, but I can't fathom why that would make me any less desirable to women. Usually they're actually somewhat impressed by my intelligence, and say nice things about it.

It would be ideal, but I don't have any room to pick and choose what kind of women I'd like to meet. My problem is that I'm hardly meeting any at all.

I suppose that might help, but still I run into a lot of problems even when I meet smart girls. I just never know what to say, or how to deal with them on an emotional level (I really really don't have any experience relating to people on a deeper level than casual acquaintanceship). And of course, there's the persistent problem that every girl I ever meet is already screwing somebody.


It is. I've been hearing it for almost ten years, and I've been as patient as I can be. But I don't know how much longer I can last. The depression is really eating away at me, and it's starting to affect the rest of my life. I'll start tearing up at random inappropriate moments (like at work), and I can't help but to feel intense envy and resentment every time I see a happy couple. Sigh...

I'm sure it would be, but again I can't be picky right now. Any relationship at all would be a welcome respite from my solitude.

I know. They keep ruining things for me. Do you know how many times a week I hear from some girl that men are all just horny assholes who can't treat them with respect? But they stay with their assholes anyways, and it kills me to know that I would never treat them like that.

I can't help it. I know on a purely rational level that there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but my irrational body is screaming for me to do something about this, and it's kind of hard to ignore it. Damn genes...

Probably.

Thanks, I'll need it.

I see your Problem,,,Your anal,,,like me...

[Oneironaut]

I feel you, im in a dry spell now im going on 3 months now (not counting making out or anything). I'm 16 and although I don't seem like the kid, I am waiting for the right girl to lose my virginity to... man when I think about the opportunities I passed up :jointsmile:

I'd also like to add though.. that I have pretty much taken a break from trying to get girls.

Some advice? Honestly, from what I've seen girls are attracted to fucking badasses, so go kick someones ass and then take his girlfriend.
Christ I am not a fucking monkey. I'm not going to try to defeat the alpha male just to get a submissive female who's into "badasses". That is definitely not on my list of options here. I was raised to be a peace-loving hippie, and that's the way I'm gonna stay. Besides, I've never been in a real fight before, so I'd just get my ass kicked if I tried. Violence is not the solution. I'm looking for love, not hate.

[slipknotpsycho]

Christ I am not a fucking monkey. I'm not going to try to defeat the alpha male just to get a submissive female who's into "badasses". That is definitely not on my list of options here. I was raised to be a peace-loving hippie, and that's the way I'm gonna stay. Besides, I've never been in a real fight before, so I'd just get my ass kicked if I tried. Violence is not the solution. I'm looking for love, not hate.

sorry to say, but he's right... sure women always talk about wanting that nice guy, that's so diffrent from every other 'one'.... but at the end of the night, they almost all end up the same place (atleast those women who have a man) which is a guy, not too much diffrent from 'every other guy' not telling you to go out and beat some guys ass and grab his woman and kiss her before she can speak or anything like that... maybe just stop being so timid? you know, too much of anything, is bad, including niceness....

[Not Enough Herb]

wow man i know exatcly how u feel

sometimes you just wanna give up. but if you do that, your a pussy, and know one wants to be with a pussy

bro, as long as u keep ur head up and ur confidence high, ull find the right girl.

pointless sex is fun, but id rather have sex with somone who loves me like i would love them.

keep tokin man, ull find your girl sooner or later, plus your only 21, you got an assload of time ahead of you.

good luck

[ericwt]

So have you tried dating web sites? Hell at this point it couldn't hurt. Never tried them myself. But I always hear about people meeting on the Internet.

Feel your pain. But relationships are too much bullshit for me.

[Great Spirit]

I didn't loose mine until a few days before my 20th birthday and it was a one time deal. I regret it though. I've only had 2 partners in my lifetime and they were only one time things.

In my opinion...sex is overrated because we see it all in the media as the thing that we must do. I see differently. I have never dated myself and I am pushing 24. lol. But I look at how much commotion and bullshit happens from relationships. I've seen MANY people hurt and devastated over relationships. Everybody is different, but its something that I choose not to deal with. And I consider random sex with people to be immoral.

Honestly....weed, music, reading and meditation/communion with God give me the best peace. Not women.

Loving unconditionally implies no attachments whatsoever. It is a lot harder to love without conditions then to love with conditions/attachments.

[ericwt]

I didn't loose mine until a few days before my 20th birthday and it was a one time deal. I regret it though. I've only had 2 partners in my lifetime and they were only one time things.

In my opinion...sex is overrated because we see it all in the media as the thing that we must do. I see differently. I have never dated myself and I am pushing 24. lol. But I look at how much commotion and bullshit happens from relationships. I've seen MANY people hurt and devastated over relationships. Everybody is different, but its something that I choose not to deal with. And I consider random sex with people to be immoral.

Honestly....weed, music, reading and meditation/communion with God give me the best peace. Not women.

Loving unconditionally implies no attachments whatsoever. It is a lot harder to love without conditions then to love with conditions/attachments.

I think he is totally correct.

[dutch.lover]

I am going to elaborate on Birdgirls point of putting yourself in the path of intelligent women.

I think it would be worth it to try and get out more and socialize, doing something that interests you. Interested in or want to try pottery? Join a pottery club- guarenteed there will be women there, and since the people you would meet there have an interest in common with you, it should be that much easier to break the ice. Love reading? Join a bookclub. Love photography? Take a few photography classes. Get my drift? Do something you enjoy, and you will meet women who enjoy the same thing as you. I think that would give you a really good chance of meeting someone. Also, if you sign up for something with multiple sessions, you can slowly get to know a woman, or women, so that might be a little less stressful than walking up to a stranger in a bar and asking her out.

PS: I know that you're feeling really shitty about still being a virgin, but I have a few friends who are 20 and have still never been laid either. You aren't abnormal for not having sex yet. All those guys who nail girls just to nail them- they will probably end up quite skilled in bed, but terrible at relationships. You shouldn't look up to them at all, if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to them- just stop. Women aren't impressed by guys that are players, and knowing that you haven't slept with anyone may actually endear you to the next worthy girl you meet even more.

[deltron]

In my opinion...sex is overrated because we see it all in the media as the thing that we must do. I see differently. I have never dated myself and I am pushing 24. lol. But I look at how much commotion and bullshit happens from relationships. I've seen MANY people hurt and devastated over relationships. Everybody is different, but its something that I choose not to deal with. And I consider random sex with people to be immoral.



That is bullshit, in my opinion. Having sex is an amazing feeling.. its like masturbating but more fun. I don't give a fuck how sex is portrayed in the media, i have urges, lol.

As for relationships.. sure most of them don't end in marriage but still theres good times and bad times.. not all "commotion and bullshit". If you have never dated, how can you judge that?

[RyanTheCaveman]

sorry to say, but he's right... sure women always talk about wanting that nice guy, that's so diffrent from every other 'one'.... but at the end of the night, they almost all end up the same place (atleast those women who have a man) which is a guy, not too much diffrent from 'every other guy' not telling you to go out and beat some guys ass and grab his woman and kiss her before she can speak or anything like that... maybe just stop being so timid? you know, too much of anything, is bad, including niceness....
So are you saying too much weed is a bad thing? shame on thou! :P

Anyways man-im 15 and im still a virgin and all my friends aren't virgins...they all "kid" around and make fun of me being a virgin(more like one guy though :P)
but...soon i'll lose it.
but i feel your pain dude. it sucks ass.
but i can say and assure if you dont choose suicide then your near future will be great and you will be happy.
Just hold on and stay together. Find some friends and have fun.
it'll all come together sooner or later.

[Reefer Rogue]

Desperate times call for desperate measures, live your life for yourself. Knowledge is gained through experiance. Try combining rationalizing with experiancing. The only person who can help you is yourself, you have to be dedicated. Try, try and then try again. There is no rejection, trust me, you must get over rejection before you'll proceed. If it happens, move on to the next girl and don't let it get you down, even though i KNOW how hard that is. Start slow, go out, go have some conversations with beautiful women. Practise, practise, practise. Get some phone numbers, work your way from there. Seriously man, don't give up and don't let it get you down. I use to think 'can i be truly happy without a women in my life?' i use to think not but now i see that i can be happy without women, they're not everything.

[MastaChronic]

im going out on a limb here, but maybe your just not hearing the right things, there are subtle invitations that you have to be on the look out for. you'll know them when you hear them if your paying attention.
ask a lot of questions too, keep them talking, ask them how there day went, how such and such made them feel etc etc etc.
most of all, dont whack off.
i believe testosterone plays a large part in things and if your balls are hurting that is a big incentive to try and get laid.

[thcbongman]

Relax and don't let yourself down for not getting laid.

Go to a bar with some friends just for fun, not on some run of conquest. Chat with the ladies lightly, humorously. Don't be ashamed you are a virgin. Be proud because you are the fresh fish that hasn't been caught yet. You are the unconquered, the untravelled. You don't let just anyone have the temple of your body. Make yourself a challange to get laid. The more you deny sex, the more it drives the ladies crazy. Just play around and have fun. Eventually the opportunity will present itself, believe me.

[deltron]

I don't think the guy should be denying sex at this point

[shoi]

i dunno... i dont have much luck with this kind of thing either... but wen i get somewhere its like im not myself... ill look back on the time i was with someone and feel strange... like i do things id nvr do normally, just like instinct.....

[trippruss]

I would maybe fuck a hooker on an extreme occaision, like winning the lottery or some shit.

Pussy is one thing in life that is free. And that is the way it should be.

nothing in life is free, especially pussy. i'm a 42yr ol' man who has probably turned down more sex than most men will have had in their lives. i was a total bad-boy growing up & attracted alot of girls for some reason. not boasting just making a statement.
the sex you pay for w/$ is the least expensive. the rest carries huge costs, emotional being the most, but sex with someone you love or care for alot is the best.
hookers are a useful tool & dont think that girls that aren't hookers dont carry disease. men are hardwired genetically to try & spread their seed so when the pressure builds & your in the midst of a dry-spell, splurge the couple hundred $ & get your freak on. for some strange reason i have found that getting more sex gets you more sex. it is a confidence thing which women instinctively pickup on.
monogamy is always a plus for security/self image issues, but personally i need a release once in awhile w/o emotional attachment. guess i'm a freak.
r

[secretgarden]

Well, I'm 21 and I'm like the only virgin I know. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not attractive, maybe I'm too weird, maybe I'm just not trying the right way, but something's up. I have never had a girlfriend and I've kissed two girls in my entire 21 years of existence (one of them doesn't count cause she only kissed me once real quick to make another kid jealous).

I have no clue what to do. Every day it gets worse, since every day my peers are getting older and more sexually experienced while I lag behind, becoming ever less desirable than the competition. The thing is, I just don't know where to meet girls or how to talk to them if I like them. People tell me that the right girl will just "come along" eventually, but that strategy doesn't seem to be working when I spend most of my free time in my room alone with no place to go. And they tell me to just "be myself" around girls, but that's what I've been doing anyways and it's pretty obvious that being myself for 21 years has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Every time I try to talk to someone about it, I get those two pieces of bad advice, and every time I follow it, continuing to wait around and be myself, and continuing to become crazier and crazier because of my sexual frustration.

I'm a smart, nice, funny guy. I never argue or fight with people, and I'm super-nice to just about everybody I meet. And still, I can't even manage to make any regular friends, much less get a girl to want to fool around with me. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. What's even more confusing, is that the sexually active guys around me are all total assholes to women all the time! They insult, offend, and abuse women, and they get laid all the time. What do girls see in such pricks? Why do the nice guys finish last?

Sometimes I try to ignore it all, and sometimes I succeed for a while, but it always comes back to haunt me. It's really depressing, and I think it's causing me psychological problems. I often have thoughts of committing suicide, and though I know I would be too scared to actually do it, the very fact that these thoughts keep coming up in my head frightens me. It tells me there's something seriously wrong with my life here and I need to fix it.

Nice guys don't finish last, the ones who are pricks do. You maybe 21 and still a virgin but there's not a damn thing wrong with that. Hell my roommate didn't have sex until he was 26. Don't worry about getting any and just be yourself. One day you'll find the right girl and it will be awesome. You kind of remind me of myself. Always nice and not having many close friends but hey i'd rather have a couple awesome friends then a bunch of flakes.

Sometimes being to nice makes people wonder what you are up to. Over time you will figure out who and when to be super nice to. After a while of being there for them and letting them get to know you they will see the real you. Girls like a guy who can talk and more importantly listen someone who will be there at 2am because they are sad. nice guys are hard to come by so don't you change bud or I'll be pissed.

Most of the guys that go out and get laid just play game, say what they need to so they can get into someone's pants. Personally i tell people I don't want in your pants mine fit just fine.

You can try dating web sites, or chat rooms to meet people. But it's all in how you see yourself and project yourself. If you feel down and out people pick up on that. Walk proudly but not cocky, hold your head up high but not so far that people think your stuck up. Humans are silly and hard to figure out from time to time. Just stay who you are and don't change being nice. Your time will come and when it does i hope she's a great lady who will treat you right.

PS read what birdgirl wrote, she's a smart cookie. She made a lot of good points.

[PdoubleOTY]

well its worth a shot....the online dating services..like match.com and shit and eharmony...now i know they soudn bullshit, but for someone your age wtih that seems to be a little shy, these websites let you post your info and pics and helps you to find people that you would naturally get along wtih. i KNOW these sites work becuase my sister is happily engaged with a man she met through match.com and they LOVE each other to death..the sites really do match you up with great potential partners, so if you have the time to do it, i say go for it man..if not, get a job working wtih the public, and when a cute girl comes along, run some game

[birdgirl73]

As I read your reply to me, Oneironaut, and subsequent posts from you and others, I realized that at the moment, unless you pay for it or find a female acquaintance to oblige, you have some social distance to cover before you're ready to have actual sex. All the advice to find a girl in a bar and go for it is rather worthless until you further hone your social skills. I know thatâ??s the last thing you want to hear, but itâ??s true.

Right now, work on increasing your exposure to women and friends of both genders. Dutch Lover's idea of taking a hobby or craft class was a good one. Do online dating. Hang out in book stores. Volunteer in a library. The more things you try, the more exposure you'll get. You'll have to force yourself to initiate conversations and come out of your shell, but you can do that, and practice helps you get better at being social. Keep cultivating your friendship with your lady friend from work, too. Thatâ??s a very good thing and has potential.

Once youâ??ve developed your social skills a bit further and have a better network of friends and women to choose from, then you can begin looking at the possibility of dating, hanging out one-on-one, or being set up by your male friends. Then, once youâ??ve crossed that hurdle, you can cross the bridge to sex. Far too many young people put too much emphasis on having sex without any consideration for actual emotional intimacy. Your mates and acquaintances who nail lots of girls? Theyâ??re braggarts and lotharios. Plenty of them are also carriers and transmitters of STDs. Chances are that many of them are huge exaggerators, too. I differ with Dutch Lover here because I believe lots of sexual exposure doesnâ??t necessarily mean improvement in sexual technique at all. Itâ??s being in a relationship where thereâ??s trust and emotional closeness that allows the partners to communicate to each other what they need and like. Good sex results from that trust and closeness, not from the quantity of partners or experiences someone has had.

As far as why being smart can sometimes be a hindrance, Iâ??m afraid thatâ??s just the way things are. Ever read any of the philosophers or poets whoâ??ve written about the isolating nature of genius? Intelligence sets people apart and can be threatening. The average young adult isnâ??t a deep or critical thinker, and youâ??ve been raised to be different. You read more. Have different ideas about religion, politics, culture, and life. I suspect you â??stay in your headâ?� (that is, in the intellectual realm) a good bit more than most folks. And that also puts some social distance between you and others. This is not a terminal problem. But itâ??s why you will be likely to meet other smarter-than-average women friends in places other than bars or malls. Academia. Bookstores. Art-house film centers. Unitarian fellowships. Another potentially good option for meeting people with whom to interact socially is some type of support or therapy group, which would probably benefit you in other ways. Youâ??re clearly feeling very depressed and isolated right now, and therapeutic support might help you stop being so harshly critical of yourself. OK, good luck again. Sorry for such a long reply.

[deltron]

nothing in life is free, especially pussy. i'm a 42yr ol' man who has probably turned down more sex than most men will have had in their lives. i was a total bad-boy growing up & attracted alot of girls for some reason. not boasting just making a statement.
the sex you pay for w/$ is the least expensive. the rest carries huge costs, emotional being the most, but sex with someone you love or care for alot is the best.
hookers are a useful tool & dont think that girls that aren't hookers dont carry disease. men are hardwired genetically to try & spread their seed so when the pressure builds & your in the midst of a dry-spell, splurge the couple hundred $ & get your freak on. for some strange reason i have found that getting more sex gets you more sex. it is a confidence thing which women instinctively pickup on.
monogamy is always a plus for security/self image issues, but personally i need a release once in awhile w/o emotional attachment. guess i'm a freak.
r


So if you were such a "bad-boy" why would you turn down all that sex?

Obviously theres a pretty good portion of women who aren't hookers and have diseases (I'm in univeristy and we are bombarded with statistics about this topic). However, I dont know why you would even bring up this point. Prostitutes have sex with multiple people daily. The people who have sex with hookers, I would imagine, lots of them have had sex with other hookers. If Crystal fucks 5 guys a day, who have each had sex with 5 other hookers (who are also having lots of sex) do the math on how much potential disease is goin around that poon. Compared to some chick whose had 5 or 10 partners in her whole life? Yeah, have fun with the prostitute.

Oh and, personally I've had sex with a couple girls with absolutely no emotional attachment at all, just drunken fun. It's called a one night stand.

Not boasting, just making a statement.

[SmokeyDC]

You should know that some girls would do anything to have sex with a virgin. Don't ask me why, I don't know why.

[Its a Plant]

Relax and don't let yourself down for not getting laid.

Go to a bar with some friends just for fun, not on some run of conquest. Chat with the ladies lightly, humorously. Don't be ashamed you are a virgin. Be proud because you are the fresh fish that hasn't been caught yet. You are the unconquered, the untravelled. You don't let just anyone have the temple of your body. Make yourself a challange to get laid. The more you deny sex, the more it drives the ladies crazy. Just play around and have fun. Eventually the opportunity will present itself, believe me.
If you follow any advice from this thread, I'd go with this. Too true. ~

[stinkyattic]

Be proud because you are the fresh fish that hasn't been caught yet. You are the unconquered, the untravelled. You don't let just anyone have the temple of your body.
.

As a woman, I like this approach! That's WAY more lighthearted than worrying about the sex!

Oh and trippruss it's great to see you around! How's the ol' kiddie pool hydro thing going? Man those pics made me laugh myself silly, then run to home depot and slap down some green on pumps and tubing!!!

[slipknotpsycho]

So are you saying too much weed is a bad thing? shame on thou! :P

Anyways man-im 15 and im still a virgin and all my friends aren't virgins...they all "kid" around and make fun of me being a virgin(more like one guy though :P)
but...soon i'll lose it.
but i feel your pain dude. it sucks ass.
but i can say and assure if you dont choose suicide then your near future will be great and you will be happy.
Just hold on and stay together. Find some friends and have fun.
it'll all come together sooner or later.

i just now noticed this post... and yeah, too much weed is a bad thing... there's quite a few reasons.... it could potentially turn someone into a lazy slob who wants to do nothing but lay in bed all day toking, won't even get up to take a shower... it could cause your lungs so much damage (from smoking) you could develope breathing problems, could do so much you puke.... like i said too much of anything can make it a bad thing... one of the most safe things on this planet, and that we need everyday to live, can be bad in really high quantities, water... it just depends on how you look at it, and how much of whatever your talking about.... there's a 'safe limit' for everything...

[greendove]

My little sister is a mid-20's virgin. It's not because she can't get any, but rather, she's WAY too damn picky. She's keeping her heart open for a guy who's so perfect that he doesn't exist. One of her requirements is that he also be a virgin.

I've been married now for almost two years. My husband is an amazing man who I've known since junior high school. We were both social outcasts, and somehow through that and so many other things, it helped us to mesh well together. We were pretty hard partiers back in the day, so we were both very sexually experienced from the wrong people. Looking back, we both wish in a way that we had kept the strength to wait for one another, and not share ourselves with anyone else.

Being a virgin at 21 sucks, but let me tell you... sex is not the be all/end all experience in life. Once you've done it for the first time, you can never do it for the first time again. Don't waste it on prostitutes or loose women - you'll not respect yourself for it, I guarantee. There is such a huge difference between fucking and making love. One is worth the time and effort, the other really isn't by comparisson. When that special someone comes around, she's going to want to know where you've been. If you're honest with her, and have to tell her that you gave your virginity away to a paid whore, then you'll definitely lose her respect, as well.

What first attracted me to my husband was his confidence in himself. He always seemed so calm and collected around people, and I admired that quality in him. Little did I know that it was just an effective act, and that he was just as terrified of social situations as I am most of the time. Confidence is what makes girls (unfortunately) also go after assholes. They're especially good at it. What you need is confidence.

How do you get confidence? Here are a few simple steps to help you out. Step number one (and this is important), get yourself a gym membership. Don't go to the gym as a lame excuse to meet women, but to get your body in the best possible shape as you can get it. Go a bare minimum of twice a week, work out until it hurts, and stick with it no matter what. Not only will you feel better, but you will look better. Your skin will look better, and it also helps you feel better emotionally. It's a similar reason why women wear makeup - looking better makes them feel better, too, and helps them get confidence. It will be a change in the routine, and it will be hard, but it will be worth it.

Step number two: pick up girls by talking to them at parties and get togethers, not bars. Do nice things for them, like getting refills on drinks when they need them, and make sure you smile a LOT. If you smile a lot (and not look like some depressed kid in the corner), you will attract more women. Women are going to avoid someone who looks like they're carrying around an ass ton of emotional baggage. They want someone who will make them feel good to be around, so act like everything's going swimmingly, even if you feel like you're going to explode inside.

Step number three: Keep doing steps 1 and 2. Don't stop or give up. Good things will come your way.

Hope this helps.

[Inferius]

its all just one big numbers game ay
get back on that horse until something clicks . bone doesnt count

[ninfan77]

www.hotornot.com
www.plentyoffish.com
www.420dating.com
www.craigslist.com (personals)

Talk to some ppl online man.. you can think more about your responses, there's not this overwhelming pressure in person etc. Maybe you'll get more comfortable "speaking" to people, both male or female, make some friends and then get out and meet those ppl.

[SwirlyMass]

Christ I am not a fucking monkey. I'm not going to try to defeat the alpha male just to get a submissive female who's into "badasses". That is definitely not on my list of options here. I was raised to be a peace-loving hippie, and that's the way I'm gonna stay. Besides, I've never been in a real fight before, so I'd just get my ass kicked if I tried. Violence is not the solution. I'm looking for love, not hate.

I c the problem. Get some meat on ya or if you're overweight then get some muscle on ya.

You need more confidence, just think of yourself as the greatest dude alive, you probably treat women better than ever other guy, you are more charming and intelligent than any other guy.

and dating IS JUST A SCREENING PROCESS, there should be no talk of your 'game' or how good you are at picking up chicks, that way you will move past the girls you have no future with and meet the ones you have something in common with, and the ones you have equal opinions with will probably like you back a lot easier (and more) than the dumb blonde cum dumpsters. ( no offense to any cum dumpsters who are present, i've fallen for more than a few )


Don't reveal your inner nerdy self to a girl right away either, focus on everything thats good about you. Not everything that someone might see as 'bad' because thats not what people are looking for or are even going to notice unless you point it out to them somehow.



Goodluck, stay away from hookers and go find a hot librarian.

[IamTheWalrus]

Im gunna say it almost seems like your afraid of it, plus you dont really have a great social life, to be honest I don't think your ready for it. Oh this mgiht sound stupid but have you ever tried dumbing yourself down a bit? The girls you go for probably feel intimdated about your intelligence, or just dont want a guy like that, that is just if you wanna fuck a girl not stay with her.

[sweet jane]

dude go watch that movie hitched

[mattdestruction]

Are we long lost brothers? It seems like you've retold the story of my life in your posts...

Let me just say these aren't the answers, and I know people will rag on me for saying these things.
This is just what worked for me, and since we were in the same boat, it seems like some out of touch advice from a lunatic might help you out.

Stop overanalyzing the situation, stop overanalyzing yourself.
The first thing you must do is accept isolation and understand that you'll die alone. It sounds brutal, but it's a fact. Even if you go out holding someone in your arms, it's still your brain that shuts off and your body that gives out. Chances are, even if you get married to a beautiful woman you love, your love won't last the lifetime our society expects it to. Understand that emotions are just chemicals and you can turn your love on and off like a switch. If you really wanted to, you could feel love for some random homeless guy, so maybe it's not that special (chances are I just haven't felt it, though).

Learn to love and respect yourself. You're all you have.

Now for me, any girl I have intended on having sex with (I fall in love with ALMOST every girl I meet) has stayed far, far away from my penis. The real key was meeting some girls who I ABSOLUTELY could not force myself to respect. This resulted in me acting significantly more confident, which, when mixed with alcohol and weed, caused me to display typical alpha male characteristics (being the asshole both you and I despise). I am ashamed to say the first girl I had sex with I threatened to punch in the face, in front of other people, on multiple occasions. She loved it. But I was serious, this girl was very dumb, extremely slutty, couldn't light a bong right, and was prone to alcohol poisoning every night of the week. My threats of violence somehow endeared me to her, so when I'd see her in public places she would start seeking me out to talk or dance. (Dancing is a great way to get a girl to make out with you... it might have something to do with the fact that you're trying to forcibly shove your penis into any part of her body near it).

Getting girls to seek you out is key, because, sooner or later, she will be alone with you while intoxicated and start making out with you. Run with this. Once in bed, though, you may revert to your more sensitive self. Defeat this urge by attempting to reinact your favorite pornos. For instance, I told a Filipino girl the other day who wasn't giving me oral of her own will to "show me how Filipino girls suck dick." This made me feel very macho, and was ultimately more satisfying than her mouth (which immediately proceeded to my dick). This is your big day, so proceed to fuck the llife out of this girl. Think of a list of positions you want to try and go for as many as you can, just please don't sit there and expect her to do the work because this strategy typically works on slutty, yet extraordinarily lazy women (sigh). Cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are some of my favorites because I am somewhat lazy, and if the girl DOES want to take some initiative, this is her chance to show what she's got, and it's still more sexy than missionary.

Summary: find girls you can't respect and dominate them the tried and true alpha-male way. The stories are usually more rewarding than the sex, but hey, you're desperate, right? I was. Please, for the love of God, if you can possibly find someone you like do it with them because making love is quite different than having sex. However, don't expect a girl to continue loving you after you prematurely bust inside her due to it being your first time, but then again, I've heard from a few people that some guys don't bust at all the first time because they're so blown away that they are actually inside a woman they can't even feel it.

Understand that this is a very cynical method that does not provide satisfaction beyond losing your virginity and making great stories.

I am sorry if I offended anyone, I'm actually a surprisingly nice guy, but this is what I had to do to get my dick wet.

PS - don't waste your weed or alcohol on any girls this attracts.

Peace

[Its a Plant]

dude go watch that movie hitched
Do you mean "Hitch" with Will Smith??

I was dragged into seeing that, and actually, *some* of the stuff on there *might* work.

But I mean, come on, it was the King of Queens he was teaching. ~

[JeenYuss]

i was kinda like that but not really for the same reasons
i had MAD females that wanted ta get wit me, but somehow it jus always ended up not happening, for some reason or another, or most of tha females i wasnt even feelin, like i only wanted tha fine ass dimes, all these other females that wanted me jus wouldnt cut it, i coulda los my v-card at like 11(even tho i jus barely hit puberty lol) n it took me til i was 15 ta find 1 fine enough an put in enough work (textin her like 4 times & askin where tha room was an wut room #) idk how it happened it jus did & tha 1st night we didnt even f*** cuz i felt bad about it cuz she was drunk but tha 2nd night i beat that shit up so bad i was like a natural there was cumstains drizzlin down tha side of tha bed (not mines) an she couldnt handle after like 45 minutes even tho she was more experienced then me n eveythang she was like i gotta pee i was so pissed, then after that like 1/4 of tha time she would quit on me cuz she couldnt handle

so jus think positive sumthin will end up happenin

[420purplehaze420]

Careful about which advice you accept in this thread, take the girls advice, and im sorry guy but looks really are a big (huge) part of it, get that gym membership and start acting like people owe you somethig, the confidence and rock hard chest will get you a girl, i guarantee it.

Its sad but as humans we are biologically inclined to go after the visually appealing, to produce the best offspring, shallow by nature if you will.

Why is it so crucial that you lose your virginity? just because you stick your penis in a girl doesnt make your life anymore complete. anyways good luck in your quest

[Spanish Leather]

OK, I have no experience with chicks (I'm 19), but that is for my own personal reasons. I was basically asleep throughout highschool in every aspect of life, from my body to how girls reacted to me. About a year ago, i took this gal (who's reallllyyy hot) out to the movies and she said, "You'd make such a good boyfriend. No...You'd make a good husband!"-and she wasn't testing me, she meant it, but I was asleep then to such compliments (she asked me out to senior prom, and i said no--boy do i regret that:mad: ). I had basically not had much MEANINGFUL social interaction with girls or even guys until the summer before college, which changed literally EVERYTHING in my life, and I now have great male freinds, and a couple girls who I'm keeping my eye on, and vice versa.

Anyway, i do want to give some advice b/c i can't stand to think of you even thinking of suicide.

1. Work out at the gym. You will feel more confident, and girls with start to pay attention to you (just like you would pay more attention to them if they looked good).

2. WORK ON YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS. this is the most important thing in the world, for both girls and making friends with guys. Might i recommend the Toastmasters program, which is basically public speaking in front of groups. EVERYONE i know who has done it says it has increased their confidence tremendously, as well as their social skills. I took a public speaking class in highschool, and it increased my confidence A LOT, not to mention i can now have conversations on the whim with people (and not just fluff bullshit). Plus, you meet more people.

3. You should read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738/sr=8-2/qid=1167888545/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-1807994-9155115?ie=UTF8&s=books

WARNING: Don't follow virtually ANY of the advice in in regards to picking up women. it is for losers who are just interested in banging as many women as possible. HOWEVER, it DOES give you an excellent frame of reference on how many women do think about men. I will repeat: PLEASE DON'T follow the actual advice in this book. This book, will if anything, teach you that being yourself is the best remedy for your woman problems (and i know you've heard that before, but its true). Trust me, just read it. It will change the way you look at girls.

Lastly, there are PLENTY of years left in your life to get laid and find a relationship. Everything is going to be all right

SL

[BlueCat]

I was raised to be a peace-loving hippie, and that's the way I'm gonna stay. Besides, I've never been in a real fight before, so I'd just get my ass kicked if I tried. Violence is not the solution. I'm looking for love, not hate.
__________________
Oneironaut I love you already :D My daughters single and pretty. She is divorced actually. Where do you live? :D

But seriously listen to the wise bird woman....
What do YOU like to do?
My son was having trouble meeting people that didn't drink and smoke etc...so he joined a hiking club and volunteered at an Owl hospital....that's all it took and he found girls with the same interest as he has. Maybe you could do that....

[wrasler]

i only read about the first page, but i get the gist of your problem. most guys, when virgins, assume sex is going to be some life-changing event. after you have had it, you realize its just another activity, such as smoking weed :) . its not that it isn't great, its just another activity.
your issue here is that you need to put the focus off of getting laid and on the girl herself. become genuinely interested in her and what she's about. sex will come naturally after that. confidence is another HUGE point that cannot be stressed enough. getting a girl interested in you is somewhat like a sales pitch. you have to ACTIVELY put yourself out there as a viable option for her. a couple years back i had this problem. i was always waiting to see if the girl was first interested in me before i made a move, and that resulted in two pathetic (soley on my part) relationships that make me cringe to think about nowadays.
one thing that helped me was to tell myself (self-motivation of a sort) how sexy i was and how a girl should be glad to have me. it sounds ridiculous and arrogant, but it will change your attitude into that of confidence. BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN, and everyone will notice. if you aren't, ACT like it, as people only know as much about you as you let them.

[JeenYuss]

being confident is pretty much tha biggest part (apart from looks n shit)

[ValkyrieAg]

Are you funny haha or funny weird?

Honestly, I might could suggest a little alcohol to take the edge off? I'm really not a good talker myself, I too am very self aware, I might say something that is really over some peoples heads. Probably one of your problems. However, after about 2-3 beers, I can go up to any girl and say "hey I'm mar, I'm jeffs buddy. Whats your name?........."

REMEMBER questions to ask her. Don't make them sucky questions, but something appropriate. If im at a college party, I'll ask who she hangs around with, what she studys, who she knows. If i'm at a bar, i ask about their drinking range, does she get down or is she three margartias and out.

Point is, know what you are going to ask her before you ask her. Don't do it like you are reading a paper, but get information. Get information and use it. Start tailoring her questions. Figure out what she wants to talk about and can talk about. You will find places to talk...she will start asking you questions....just stay calm and whereever the conversation leads, go there. After a conversation is over, its over. Don't try to force it.

Honestly, what i like to do when I meet a new girl, I pretty much ask for the "story". Who are you...who do you know...why are you here....what do you do....

I can spend 30 minutes with any random girl asking those 4 questions. Girls love to talk. Learn to talk...its not that hard especially when your thoughts are your words....which you probably know what i mean by that.

[greendove]

Im gunna say it almost seems like your afraid of it, plus you dont really have a great social life, to be honest I don't think your ready for it. Oh this mgiht sound stupid but have you ever tried dumbing yourself down a bit? The girls you go for probably feel intimdated about your intelligence, or just dont want a guy like that, that is just if you wanna fuck a girl not stay with her.

Well, there's a big difference between dumbing yourself down, and being sure to use "layman's terms" and standard conversational English. My hubby has an I.Q. of almost 200 (not exaggerating), but one wouldn't guess that he was any more than bright or intuitive when speaking with him. He has a huge vocabulary, but he usually saves it for term papers and such. One thing that you definitely do not want to do is intimidate, physically or mentally. You know you're smart, and though you may see that as one of your greatest assets, if you're constantly trying to prove that you're intelligent, it can often times come off as being off-handish or arrogant. It leaves women feeling like they have to, in turn, prove to be your equal on that level in order to interact properly. People do not like others to make them feel ignorant or dumb. Be excited about your intelligence or knowledge, but know that you've got nothing to prove in that regard. It will shine through much clearer if you're not deliberately trying to show it.

[sweet jane]

get that gym membership and start acting like people owe you somethig, the confidence and rock hard chest will get you a girl, i guarantee it.


best advice on here



whether it's 'sad' or whatever there's no way to respond with a negative on this one, getting in shape is a GOOD thing and the easier time you'll have with girls is just a bonus

[Trip06]

Bro Im in the same situation dont feel bad. Im 20 and still not in to dating and sex. Ive had a few teases ya know making out with a few girls and stripper stuff. I never had much confidence my whole life and that was kinda the result up untill a few years ago. I was basicly livn my own world being on my own. The friends I do have gave me so much teaching/shittalk/pressure that I begain to feel like I was loseing what little control I had, geting more insecure like I was getting pressure. I regularly think Im not good enough. I woulda had sex any day I just didnt feel confident enough to go and get it. I started working out a while back, getn in shape made me feel more confident. Just have hope, suicide is selfish.

[robert42]

its not sad to fuck a prozzy its like when ur in amsterdam the saying "when in rome" comes to mind

[shoi]

60554738/sr=8-2/qid=1167888545/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-1807994-9155115?ie=UTF8&s=books[/url]

WARNING: Don't follow virtually ANY of the advice in in regards to picking up women. it is for losers who are just interested in banging as many women as possible. HOWEVER, it DOES give you an excellent frame of reference on how many women do think about men. I will repeat: PLEASE DON'T follow the actual advice in this book. This book, will if anything, teach you that being yourself is the best remedy for your woman problems (and i know you've heard that before, but its true). Trust me, just read it. It will change the way you look at girls.

Lastly, there are PLENTY of years left in your life to get laid and find a relationship. Everything is going to be all right

SL


this warning if very true... alot of advice is just for having sex fast which i rlly dont want to do... im a bit of a hopeless romantic myself, but i listen to that advice and it just kind of helps u get into the rite frame of mind.... that what u need is confidence....
i mean i couldnt believe it... i was rlly unconfident then i just sat down and said to myself "for fucks sake i can do this, i am not pathetic or any of that shit, getting turned down a few times doesnt mean shit... it just happens" and its not like magically i was picking up girls left and right but i noticed a diference jsut talking to them, and i got a girlfriend... i do need to do this every-so-often cause i just naturally have lower self confidence.... wen ur on the right track youll no it.... sometimes after ive gotten out of somthing ill look back at what i did to start it and it just seems illogical, like i dont understand why i did what i did... u just do and feel and thats the only way you can no... everyone is diferent and diferent things will work for diferent ppl... another thing that helps is to be able to read tones, facial expressions, and body language...
if u cant think of what to say just play off things she has said... u can carry conversations for well over an hour just based on things she has said... i have done it several times...

most advice doenst work for any given situation... just the confidence part...

[chisme]

I wouldnt call you sad, infact im going to be getting me a lady friend in the dam next year when i go, smoke a fat doobie and shag her senseless.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LIPS A DON LIPS A DON!! HAHAHAHAH YOU KNOW THEM ONES BRUV!

[downunder]

when it come to sex its not quanty ,but quitly thats inportant . just because your mates are scoreing dosernt mean there happy or that your reall missout..... if you wont to meet woman you need to go outside !!!!! go to clubs ,parks beaches and chuch groups(never underestamat the chuch going woman...wild ) be confident ,woman love confident guys , before you go out look at yourself in the mirro and tell yourself that your a hot guy who can have any woman he wont . make sure you have something intresting to say about everthing ! this will mean reading news papers , watching the news and reading cosmo . your cloths or hair style is not that inportant but you should make sure you smell good ,as a womans sense of smell is better than mens and they are easly put of by bad smells . work out ..it will make you look stronger which woman like and will also help with your conferdince . when you walk into a room be sure to talk to every single woman ,be conferdint and funny . if you meet a girl you like complement her on her hair ,smile ect and ask her questiond about herself ,listion to her responce . when you get home make a file about her with all the realevent info phone number ,birthday,fav colour,food,flower ect this will come in handy later . be a gentlyman ,open doors ,pull out chairs pay for the meals and always complement her.

[ValkyrieAg]

Wow, bad advice?^^

Don't act like a pussy, you are already acting that way and its not working. You need to get some confidence. Back when i was a sophomore, I still wasn't really confident, i felt like a small person. By my junior year, i was 6'2" and 200lbs and I could handle people, (in physical situations whether it be fighting or sex). I gained confidence, realized that noone is better than me or really has any advantage over me. I feel smart and strong.

If you have nothing to be confident about, you are in a rough spot.

[Euphoric]

i already posted this but here it is again enjoy and good luck seducing them ladies. i love this guide yo i read it like every day and like re-seduce my woman every day mwahaha :stoned: http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/

[Its a Plant]

realized that noone is better than me or really has any advantage over me.
. . .

Good to know you classify the masses as under or below your high and mightiness.

People with this attitude make me sick, but it IS amusing to see 'em knocked down a peg or two and come back to reality.

And downunder's advice was anything but bad. It was a bit rude to call out someone like that, especially with rotten advice that could sink ships. ~