Hungry

[RESiNATE]

I keep walking into the kitchen to make summat to eat, but then I remember that I have no food, and have to walk back out again.

I've done this 5 times in the last half-an-hour!

Maybe I think that I'll find a food parcel on the table.
I'll have to go to the shop and get some food, but I'm waiting till the rushhour has died off...can't be doing with people littering the checkout, man...I wanna be in and out, at the maximum speed!

I wonder what I'll have for dinner...:rolleyes:..hmmm

[apsinthion]

There's a simple way of avoiding the checkout and that is to pay for your good's at the tobacco counter.

Just make sure there are no pentioners hanging about with lottery scrach card's!

[RESiNATE]

lol, yeah, OAPs should be banned from public places where paying for something is involved..

"Yes dear, how much?...pardon, I'm a bit deaf....3shillings and a ha'penny?...can I pay in string?....I've got vouchers for 1p off, it's in my bag somewhere....I thought I put it in there.....how much was it again?.."

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"I ONLY WANNA BUY THIS MARS BAR, AND I'VE BEEN STOOD HERE SO LONG, THAT I NEED ANOTHER SHAVE!!!"

Buying hairnets and food for yappy-type-dogs!!! Cuh!

There should be an alotted time for OAPs to go shopping....like, between the hours of 0200-0300...!!!
It'll keep them off the road, too!!!

"Come on you purple-haired, wrinkly!!!...It's 40 MILES per hour, not KILOMETERS!!!....I want to get home TODAY, not EVENTUALLY!!!"

Geez, I'm sure that they still think that the human body wil explode at speeds in excess of 30mph
Still looking for the red-flag man, I spose :rolleyes:...well, ya didn't run 'im over, love, geez, a slug could've crossed the road in safety at the speed you're doing!!!

[apsinthion]

Another good one for Tilde's anger thread!!;)

Kid's can be a nightmare in supermarket's too. I had 4 cases of beer in my trolly the other day and one came charging out from behind the checkout and slid across the floor on his knee's right infront of me. I would of hated so of seen the damage it would of done If i had run him over.

But yeah I hate to think how much of my life has been wasted by shuffling along behind oldie's. :eek:

[RESiNATE]

Not to mention the fact that you'd have to wait aaages before you could open your tinnies, dude...all that shaking as you rumbled across the kids torso...man, upsetting the hops, init!

Ok, I'm getting steeled up to go on the "shopping trip"...a very apt title, I think :D...
I've got my coat on.....I've got exact change ready....I know the layout of the shop, so I can whisk in straight to the right place....I'm on basket detail, so no fiddling around with those fricking £1 coin trolley-release mechanisms....
Set to go!

:D :o :( :eek:...I'm very scared, what if one of the oldies tries to strike up a conversation with me about the Land Army :confused:....

Ok, I'll go..I'll go...
I'm going...

[apsinthion]

You should time yourself.

[RESiNATE]

Geez!
I nearly forgot to put my "carrier-bag-separator" in my pocket....they make carrier bags out of the thinnest plastic that our imaginations can deal with...

"Do you need help packing, sir?"
"No, I'll be fine thanks.."

The goods start piling up at the end of the conveyor belt, because I'm still trying to open up the first bag!
CUH!

Why do they make things so hard!

Ok, start the stopwatch...eh? how can you start the stop...oh, never mind...OK<

HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

[apsinthion]

I'm starting it.................













NOW!!!!!!

Go Res GO

[RESiNATE]

STOP THE CLOCK!!! I'M BACK!!!!

[RESiNATE]

Phew, the shop was empty (except for food, obviously :rolleyes: ), I went round the place, and created little dust-devils with my speed of passing..lol....straight to the fidgey bit BANG..bacon...then to the bread bit BANG..rolls...then to the freezer bit..BANG..oven chips..then to the checkout..BANG..couldn't slow down quick enough to stop, and crashed into checkout...

"Are you in a rush, Sir?"
"Less talking, more beeping, sister..and chuck me some baccy and Rizla too!"

Paid the cash (substanial change from a tenner :D )..BANG...out the door quicker than a thing that rushes out of a door, whilst ignoring comments about the strange appearance of Platypuss piss aroma...

Coool
:cool:

[RESiNATE]

Hey, the day just gets better and better.

Am having Burgers, Chips, and beans (maybe a fried egg too, we'll see), and checked out the grill-pan, and found.............LARD! from the last time I cooked.....yeps, that's right folks, LARD...

Gonna have bacon and cheese rolls for my work-sandwiches.
Might lace the rolls with some dripping...mmmmm....get the defribulator warmed up!!

:D

[apsinthion]

Bloody hell 7 mins what do you live above the damn shop or somthing?

So were so fast I missed your homecoming by burning a new cd!

Maybe that quadfabraphinia medicine allow's you to travel time at twice the spped of sound!!:D

[apsinthion]

Not the lard surely your not that desperate for food!!!!

If you must indulge then have the dripping (opium to the lard).

Have a good meal dude I'v just seen your picture and you look like you need one.:p

[RESiNATE]

lmaoo...I have long legs, and a blatant disreguard for traffic and pedestrians alike...

Mind you, I did need oxygen when I got back..geez, give meself a heart-attack..

The shop is about 500yrds from me, and is over two roads...whoosh...

See, if I had gone to the shops earlier, it would have taken soo much longer...kids kicking out of school...OAPs buying hairnets...traffic..bah to that...gotta get on, init lol

[RESiNATE]

Have a good meal dude I'v just seen your picture and you look like you need one.:p

Yeah, I'm a stunt-double for those African Famine documentaries
:D

Slap a bit of 'easy-tan' on me face, and you'd never know :rolleyes:

[apsinthion]

WOOOCH!!!

'Is it a bird is it a plane'

NO it's RESiNATE trying to break the cannabis.com record for munchie run's.:D

[RESiNATE]

And in about 10mins, I'll be sitting down to enjoy Burger, Chips, and Beans :D

That makes me very happy...

Although, I hope that the grill isn't gonna catch fire, they must inject extra fat into burgers?
Then, whilst I'm noshing down, the bacon will be cooking ready for work-sandwiches :p

Sometimes, I get these fits of eating :rolleyes:

[apsinthion]

I hope that the grill isn't gonna catch fire

Now wouldn't that be a fucker. :rolleyes:

[apsinthion]

Ok now I'm going up the shop's....

My head is spining through stareing at this monitor for too long.

I need a bottle of red and a head massage.;)

[Miserylue]

mmm...lard! You guys are making me hungry, I walk in the kitchen like every 10 minutes, but Im on this stupid diet, so there is NO food here. Not that I would eat it. Cause I have will power.. no I dont, I just want some junk food..... its not fair

[RESiNATE]

Ok, I'm sat down now, eating my wonderful gourmet meal...nice..

The grill didn't catch fire, ..*phew*...and everything was timed to perfection...

Beat that, Ainsley!!!
20mins, indeed...cuh! and that's when they already got the ingredients!
I had to shop for mine, cook it, and STILL be sat down eating within 20mins hahahahahah

[RESiNATE]

What you on a diet for, Missy?

Diets don't work...psychologically, your brain is thinking about not snacking and stuff, which makes you hanker for food!

Just eat what ya want, dudette....go on...
I've never dieted...lucky I guess...mind you, I wouldn't want to see the state of my heart lmaooo...ah well, ya gotta go sometime, just as well be whilst gorging on a lovely cream cake and a choccy bar mwhahahahaha

[Miserylue]

What you on a diet for, Missy?

Diets don't work...psychologically, your brain is thinking about not snacking and stuff, which makes you hanker for food!

Just eat what ya want, dudette....go on...
I've never dieted...lucky I guess...mind you, I wouldn't want to see the state of my heart lmaooo...ah well, ya gotta go sometime, just as well be whilst gorging on a lovely cream cake and a choccy bar mwhahahahaha
Im taking herbalife, I do need to diet. I just had a baby... well like three months ago. But it looks like I just had her! The way I eat normally was doing me no good. And the shakes I drink are pretty tasty. But I miss munching. I get to munch on nuts... whoo hoo... and that just doesnt sound right. Im so good at making nasty coments. I swear, I dont do it on purpose!! he hee

[RESiNATE]

I get to munch on nuts... whoo hoo
<<<INNUENDO ALERT>>>

lol

You'll be ok, after all, who is the better judge of what your body needs?....your body!!!

I always listen to my body, so if I crave something salty, I have something salty...if I crave something sweet...I'll have something sweet....

usually, I don't bother eating anything, as I don't know what to eat..,like, I can go around a supermarket and see nothing to eat, and end up buying biscuits and crap food lol..

[RESiNATE]

Apsinthion has been gone for over 20mins now...

I knew it would happen..it's the laws of Balance - I had a fast trip, he will have a slow trip :(

Shoulda doused yerself in Platypuss piss before you went out dude, you'll be amazed at how quickly the queue shifts...:D

[apsinthion]

Just got in *phew* didn't realise until I was to pay for the stuff that I'd put the wrong fucking coat on. Christ I felt a nana (that's a point Where is Bob bannana). Had to come all the way back and pick up the coat with the bloody money in.

*Sigh*

[RESiNATE]

Geez, what a nightmaaaaare!

First rule of shopping, dude: always have funds!
lol

There is a thing about dolphins on 5, dude....
hmmm...disturbing stuff :eek:

[apsinthion]

Still can't get C5 here.

How back dated is that!!!!!

[RESiNATE]

WTF?!?!?!

I mean, on balance, Channel 5 is the best one there!!

Geez, man...and you still pay poll-tax?!?!

I dunno, got a field full of windmills, but no Ch5?..man, that's just twisted!

[apsinthion]

I know!

And now I'v bought this damn place I'm gonna have to pay the L/F!!!

Bastard's!!!!