Make up masturbation or sex euphenisms

[cannabis=freedom]

Back in grade 8 me and a friend spent our entire, very boring, science class making up euphenisms for beating your meat: "Rolling the dough, waxing the wagon, pumping the pork", etc. Make up your own here, or ones for sex.

[rebgirl420]

hahaha , "Rubbing one out", "playing 3 fingered DJ", "flicking my bean", and "Petting the kitty", WOOOOOO i'm on a roll!

[cannabis=freedom]

hahaha , "Rubbing one out", "playing 3 fingered DJ", "flicking my bean", and "Petting the kitty", WOOOOOO i'm on a roll!

Go, girl......jucing the orange, spraying the hydrant, toasting the tamales, employing the laws of friction, kicking the dog

[rebgirl420]

Beating Around the Bush, Brushing The Beaver, Checking for Squirrels, Dialing the Rotary Phone, Engaging in Safe Sex, Fingerpainting, Flickin' the Bean, Fucking Without Complications, Having Sex With Someone you Love, Jillin' Off,
Play the Clitar, Pussy Soccer, Spelunking, MY FAVE: Muffin Buffin'!!!!

[Cassiopiea]

A quick J.Arthur, Shaking hands with the Prime Minister, Waving to Mr Johnson, Painting the wall, The Five Knuckle Shuffle, Craxking one off, Beating one out, Tenderising the meat.

And one offensive one that one of my mates just came out with Kicking a coon to death, which was a bit weird and is not inficative of my views but I thought id share it with you.

[az666]

lol Poking the poo?
couldn't resist

[amberler]

Shaking hands with the unemployed, burping the worm, making the snake sneeze

[HiProGlow]

The one handed shuffle. Tenderizing the tube steak. Jerkin' the gherkin. Spanking the monkey.

[Euphoric]

lol this is like readers digest from hell:clap:

[LIP]

lol this is like readers digest from hell:clap:

LOL!!!!!

[stinkyattic]

Boinking the bishop
Having a staff meeting
Petting the dachshund
Buttering the corncob

[hello3pat]

dating rosey palm and her five freinds, choking the chicken

[Psycho4Bud]

Doin' the knuckle shuffle on the piss pump........Andrew Dice Clay

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[Harry Pot Head]

Flogging the log

Choking the chicken

Beating the meat.

Dateing thumbalina and her four sisters.

Making fist puppies

[emanresu]

makin it rain

[PdoubleOTY]

pumpin out some knuckle children, crankin one off, Defacing some tissue, splooge my goo, beat your baby maker.

[rebgirl420]

hehe Im so proud of myself, but I had help from a friend.

[Mary Stokes]

strummin the banjo, havin a pull,

[b0Ng h!tz 4 mE]

i just call it wankin... lol, i never really am so bored that i try to think of new names for it.. and for fuckin i call it... fuckin... or shaggin.. whichever strikes the moment :D

[khronik]

ba-bump!

my favorite euphemism, because it sounds so innocuous, is "taking matters into my own hands." :D

[ProGroWannabe]

Alright I'll play along too.....spankin hank, peelin the pickle, pumpin the squirt gun

For sex....bumpin uglies, fuckin the fun bags(boobs), sheet surfin, puttin the motion in the ocean, eatin the taco, pelvic bruising(rough sex ya know), da poonta ponnta poonta, drillin the well, poundin the pooder.....on and on and on

[GraziLovesMary]

hahahah Im a bit too drunk to be creative, but I just want to mention how fuckin hilarious some of these new ones are... in fact.. they are so funny Im laughing out loud while my friends mom is asking me whats so funny... hehe...

"Jillin' off" made me giggle aLOT, so did "shaking hands with the unemployed"

floggin the dolphin? Smackin the spitter.. bobbin the knob(thats for oral, but whatever) umm... yeah like I said... to drunk to think of something that hasnt been mentioned... shit... I had to hit "backspace" 4 times just to type the word "mentioned" I want weed...

[DaPolarBear]

Lickin Da Blunt is a decent one for a blowjob.

[ghosty]

taming the trouserworm, one man tug of war, beat the meat, wanking, polishing the knob,

[BabyFacedAbortion]

finger fucking :)

[Straightupg]

punchin the munchkin? didnt look if anyone else had that

[ChronicJoint]

petting the one eyed weasle

[whitewolfofsc]

Jerkin the gherkin, pulling the goaile, shooting the goo, slapping the sally, she bopping, screwing the sock, milking the goat, and if I am having sex with a fat woman- getting some whale tail. LOL! I love fat gals, so dont take offense.

[FakeBoobsRule]

Rolling a stiffy, packing the bowl, clearing the chamber, smoking the blunt...

I tried to make them pot/masterbation euphemisms.

[TommyJ]

Dunno if it's been said but this is my favourite...

a date with lady palm and her five daughters.

[Non]

reading books?

[Non]

having fun

[Zannies]

jerk to squirt