FeedmeWeed
12-04-2006, 06:31 AM
Like many of you, I have read about anxiety attacks and their relationship to drugs and alcohol. I myself am not a very anxious person and have never experienced anything remotely like an attack. I never saw myself having an anxiety attack, but its amazing how quickly life changes.
I had just gotten hom from class after a long walk through the snow. I sat down at my computer and started to read about depression. I did not think that I was depressed, but as I started reading about the signs of depression, I found that many of them applied to me.... and out of nowhere, I started to feel sad.
This sad was different though. If any of you recall, I am the same person who lost the ability to feel emotions http://http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=92993. And for the first time in many months, I actually felt sad. It was so strange, because usualy sad is seen as a negative emotion, one you do not want to feel..... but it felt great, it was amazing, I was feeling again.
my mind then soon drifted into thinking about suicide, not actually contemplating it, I was just thinking about it. And then BOOOM! it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart started racing at a million miles an hour, pumping up the most negative emotion I have ever felt into my head and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I fell on the ground and began crying like I have never cried in my entire life.
I lost all ability to think rationally, and for the first time in my entire life, I really wanted to kill myself. This is hard for me to explain, because I really didnt want to "DIE" but I just wanted this to end. the problem is, when your having an anxiety attack, you really dont think rationaly, and I was semi aware of this. So I ran to my car and drove to the ER as fast as I could before i lost control and did something really stupid (IE suicide)
by the time I got to the ER I was hyper-ventalating and I nearly lost conciousness. when I regained my consciouness I was SOAKED in swet.
The entire time this was happeneing I was balling like a baby, not over anything specific at all, just crying. I was badly dehydrated and had to rehydrate.
They gave me some anti anxiety meds and now im going to go see a counselor. they said depression and pot led to this attack, and I need to refrain from drug use for a while
If anyone else would like to share their anxiety attack stories I would love to hear them, or just any questions, comments, or remarks
I had just gotten hom from class after a long walk through the snow. I sat down at my computer and started to read about depression. I did not think that I was depressed, but as I started reading about the signs of depression, I found that many of them applied to me.... and out of nowhere, I started to feel sad.
This sad was different though. If any of you recall, I am the same person who lost the ability to feel emotions http://http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=92993. And for the first time in many months, I actually felt sad. It was so strange, because usualy sad is seen as a negative emotion, one you do not want to feel..... but it felt great, it was amazing, I was feeling again.
my mind then soon drifted into thinking about suicide, not actually contemplating it, I was just thinking about it. And then BOOOM! it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart started racing at a million miles an hour, pumping up the most negative emotion I have ever felt into my head and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I fell on the ground and began crying like I have never cried in my entire life.
I lost all ability to think rationally, and for the first time in my entire life, I really wanted to kill myself. This is hard for me to explain, because I really didnt want to "DIE" but I just wanted this to end. the problem is, when your having an anxiety attack, you really dont think rationaly, and I was semi aware of this. So I ran to my car and drove to the ER as fast as I could before i lost control and did something really stupid (IE suicide)
by the time I got to the ER I was hyper-ventalating and I nearly lost conciousness. when I regained my consciouness I was SOAKED in swet.
The entire time this was happeneing I was balling like a baby, not over anything specific at all, just crying. I was badly dehydrated and had to rehydrate.
They gave me some anti anxiety meds and now im going to go see a counselor. they said depression and pot led to this attack, and I need to refrain from drug use for a while
If anyone else would like to share their anxiety attack stories I would love to hear them, or just any questions, comments, or remarks