Foul smoking stories....

[Abattoir Dream]

okay, heres the deal... any foul smoking stories you have, post them here, things like, the kid who ate a 2 week old mouldy apple core fresh from the ashtray for about a bongs-worth of weed.... here are a couple of my own :)

im not gonna go through the whole story but my brother smoked sponge and pop-tart before - FOR NO REASON! lol

another baaaad story was when my friend decided to be a savage and smoke a gauze bong, no weed just dry rolling tobacco, without water and using a zippo lighter.... crazy fuck...

and my favourite foul smoking story happened about a year ago, one of my mates let me load them up a shotty (like a pull-thru bong without the socket) so i packed it solid literally with soapbar, then being the smart-ass he is, he put another few burns on top just to be hard lol, so anyway he started smoking it, and it creamed up for about 3 minutes - no joke, and it still wouldnt budge, so he burnt it a little more and began to try to pull it through, the tube screached, whistled and howled, and he just kept pulling it, then suddenly... BOOM! it came through, and as it did, fist-sized lumps of muddy resin shot upwards into his mouth and the back of his throat.... everyone in the room was silent.. almost instantly he coughed up handfulls of resin, (he could hardly breathe) and began vomiting rolo yoghurt and resin, after about 15 minutes of coughing and puking into the bin, we gave him a bottle of water, by this time there was puke all over the floor, around the bin, in the bin - everywhere... its was FOUL! but at the time all i felt was pity, the bong was literally empty, (other than all the resin up the sides) and everyone was just gobsmacked... no-one could beleive what had just happened, we were all like 'whoa... are you okay..?' obviously he wasnt, his eyes were watering, he was gagging, sweating the lot, miraculously after cleaning it up he did find time to laugh about it, which was cool...

so anyways... i wanna hear your foul smoking stories, and see if you can top that ;)

[AlwaysBlazed]

tyco118 (a member here) walked into a pole.

Also, once me and my friend stopped, turned around, and jumped into eachother, while crossing a main road.

[Eazy]

i got a mate to smoke fake weed and he payd for it n said it was good

he stole my beers

bastard he smoked sum mixed herbs that make u horny hahahaha then he had to put up with me n 2 other guys n we keept talkin bout sex n shit den he went home we cos he said quote"guys i gotta go i need a wank or a shag"

[savagepossum]

put a shit load of inscense into a spliff and gave it to my mate the stupid fuck didn't even realize until about halfway down

[Eazy]

do we all fuck with some one if u are skining up for them? lol

[emkid420]

me and my friend rolled a joint of aregeno and then my mother friend came over and smoked it. He said he was so high, and to this day he says it was good stuff. Maybe someday we'll tell him. LOL

[LIP]

Well when i was younger i was staying at a mates house for a few days cos my parents had pissed me off over something, and i took an ounce of [good] hash. We invited this prick Jack to come and fuck about with us, cos we was bored. So before he got there we rolled up aload of mixed herbs, and put it to once side. As he came in i picked up my 1oz brick and said have some of this shit. Now this guy didnt smoke weed, he though he did, but he didnt, he was always showing off pretending to be a dope smoker. So we gave him the "joint i rolled just before you got here" and i rolled my joint. We went outside the doors and started puffing away. I was sitting there happy as larry and he was trying his best to not cough his heart out. After about 5 hits he said he was good so i was in shock cos he actually thought he was stoned. I carried on smoking my joint cos it tasted fucking nice, and he went and layed down on the fucking wet grass. Me and my other mate was laughing our asses off and this Jack was pretending to be wasted.

We let him smoke the rest of the joint and told him it was mixed herbs just as he put it out and then he said "So thats why i didnt feel stoned" and then we asked him why the fuck he was laying in wet grass and talking with slurred speach and he said "I must have been stoned"

All i could say to him was make your mind up, and then my other mate told him where to go... so he fucked off and me and my mate carried on smoking this hash for nearly the whole day, and then that night he got in a strop about something so he was upstairs and i was smoking outside at like 2 in the morning... then i went in a was gunner go to sleep when he came downstairs not talking to me for whatever reason. I couldnt give a fuck though cos i was out of it.

[gee]

okay, heres the deal... any foul smoking stories you have, post them here, things like, the kid who ate a 2 week old mouldy apple core fresh from the ashtray for about a bongs-worth of weed.... here are a couple of my own :)

im not gonna go through the whole story but my brother smoked sponge and pop-tart before - FOR NO REASON! lol

another baaaad story was when my friend decided to be a savage and smoke a gauze bong, no weed just dry rolling tobacco, without water and using a zippo lighter.... crazy fuck...

and my favourite foul smoking story happened about a year ago, one of my mates let me load them up a shotty (like a pull-thru bong without the socket) so i packed it solid literally with soapbar, then being the smart-ass he is, he put another few burns on top just to be hard lol, so anyway he started smoking it, and it creamed up for about 3 minutes - no joke, and it still wouldnt budge, so he burnt it a little more and began to try to pull it through, the tube screached, whistled and howled, and he just kept pulling it, then suddenly... BOOM! it came through, and as it did, fist-sized lumps of muddy resin shot upwards into his mouth and the back of his throat.... everyone in the room was silent.. almost instantly he coughed up handfulls of resin, (he could hardly breathe) and began vomiting rolo yoghurt and resin, after about 15 minutes of coughing and puking into the bin, we gave him a bottle of water, by this time there was puke all over the floor, around the bin, in the bin - everywhere... its was FOUL! but at the time all i felt was pity, the bong was literally empty, (other than all the resin up the sides) and everyone was just gobsmacked... no-one could beleive what had just happened, we were all like 'whoa... are you okay..?' obviously he wasnt, his eyes were watering, he was gagging, sweating the lot, miraculously after cleaning it up he did find time to laugh about it, which was cool...

so anyways... i wanna hear your foul smoking stories, and see if you can top that ;)


ahahhahahahahahaha. That story's pretty funny. im planning on getting a big bowl of like a pound of res and giving it to my friend resman

[Abattoir Dream]

hahaha resman...

yeh, i figured lip would have a story to share lol, so many stoners give whiteys herbs and shit, and they allways seem to act stoned, i guess for respect, or something... whatever they want they never get it....haha

[LIP]

The thing that gets me is how the hell do they not know it's not weed. Weed has one of the most obvious smells in the world... yet they dont realise they're smoking herbs..

I#ve got quite a few stories, but i havnt got the brain power to type it all, i'd pass out on the keyboard agian.

[STIMPY21]

Wife and I were driving the countryside, and as always after getting stoned I have to shit. We went to a fast food joint to get a soda, and for me to shit. It was the tiniest bathroom for public use that I have ever seen, actualy the restaruant was about a 1/3 smaller than any other of that name either. As soon as I locked the door and dropped trow I began to blast, violently spraying the john with shit. It smelled like someone had tried to stomp a skunk and missed. While sitting there marveling at what I had just created, someone started turning the door knob. I bellowed out: this shit box is closed. About that time I heard the guy on the other side of the door as the smell hit him mumbling, saying "fuck it I don't need that anyway stinking mfer" His reaction just made me bust laughing.. Probably sick on some levels, but you asked...
STIMPY21

[LIP]

LOL

[Abattoir Dream]

hahaha nice story man... haha i love it when ppl try to come in the toilet when ur using it.... well i dont love it... haha but they allways make me laugh...

[Wheed]

I remember one time we had a lung passing around at my house and it gets to one guy and he says he can't light it. So I decide to be a nice person and light it for him, but I didn't take the cap off. I mean come on, it should be basic instinct to know you can't hit it without the cap off.. Well he decides to put his lips up to the burning bowl and sucks in the rest of the bowl (cherried at the top) and he procedes to cough and burn for 10 minutes.

Another time, well actually last night we were at my friend's house in his garrage. Me and 2 other friends drove over there where everybody was drinking out of a 30 oz of 180 Whiskey and it just so happens that everybody there (except the host, two of my other friends and the host's girlfriend) just happend to be that extra annoying, stumbling drunk that screams and breaks shit and shows everybody their penis. Well I went over there, and I really do not like to drink (Too sloppy) so i had about 4 grams short of a half ounce and we were smoking out of my friend's glass pipe (he lives next door to where we are) so needless to say, all of these drunks want some weed. Well it gets to my extra stumbling friend Billy and he just sits there for a second and looks at the pipe. I was like, ''Can you light it or what?'' and he opens his eyes wide and puffs his cheeks up and starts to gag. I back up and he pukes, pretty much all over the pipe, too when i tell them, ''Wow, you guys can have the damn bowl.'' Damn alchohol. That's exactly why I don't drink.

[WeedyBoyWonder]

LMAO tried to do a lung with a bowl on, thats FUNNY SHIT!!!

Ive got many stories to tell, but ill share my most memorable one since my bother isnt around anymore.
We were all chill'in in my garage (me, my bro and a few mates) we were already blazing for an hour or so, just talking and laughing.
Everyone was rolling the joints and stuff, and my bro rolled one to. He tucked it up, and tapped it down and said "dang, this is gonna be a fucking beauty", he put it in his mouth and light it while chuffing on it but it didnt fully light, he light and chuffed again, and as he chuffed the whole joint flew out the end accross the room and landed on the step of a ladder.
It was still all there in one peice (the mix) and he still had the rizla in his mouth. It was sooo funny, he litrally just dropped the backy and weed mix back in the joint and lit up again.

[go toke up]

LMAO tried to do a lung with a bowl on, thats FUNNY SHIT!!!

Ive got many stories to tell, but ill share my most memorable one since my bother isnt around anymore.
We were all chill'in in my garage (me, my bro and a few mates) we were already blazing for an hour or so, just talking and laughing.
Everyone was rolling the joints and stuff, and my bro rolled one to. He tucked it up, and tapped it down and said "dang, this is gonna be a fucking beauty", he put it in his mouth and light it while chuffing on it but it didnt fully light, he light and chuffed again, and as he chuffed the whole joint flew out the end accross the room and landed on the step of a ladder.
It was still all there in one peice (the mix) and he still had the rizla in his mouth. It was sooo funny, he litrally just dropped the backy and weed mix back in the joint and lit up again.
thats crazy. lol nice story. i had an old friend who was a "stoner", so one day we wanted to see what he was made of. my friend put a bunch of tobacco and pubic hair in a zigzag and told him it was a fat joint. he had a long coughing fit after his second hit. lolol

[WeedyBoyWonder]

eww pubic hair, thats rough! REALLY rough!!

[orange floyd]

thats crazy. lol nice story. i had an old friend who was a "stoner", so one day we wanted to see what he was made of. my friend put a bunch of tobacco and pubic hair in a zigzag and told him it was a fat joint. he had a long coughing fit after his second hit. lolol

i didnt come in time to witness this story, but it happened to a friend of mine and ive heard it enough times to retell:

a few of my friends are hanging out, waiting for our friend dave (HUGE POTHEAD) to come over. they take two plastic bags, and fill them both with orregano. the second bag had orregano, pepper, other assorted spices, a few drops of one of my friend's piss, and a decent amount of another one of my friends pubes, and probably some other shit that i forgot that was probably nasty tho.

dave gets there, and they tell him "dude, u wanna smoke? we just got some ill shit, its called "Jamaican Red Grass", brand new shit, just hit the market, and its fucking crazy bud man." so they proceed to roll up and smoke the first bag (just orregan and spices), and dave's sayin "dude this is the best tasting shit ive ever smoked". they all then act high and are like "ok were good, but you can smoke the rest." long story short: he smokes it all, loves it, and siad he was kinda high.

dave now knows that jamaican red grass never existed, and knows everything they put in it except the piss and pubes.


good shit

[AlwaysBlazed]

lol, last night I was stoned and I went to McDonalds and had like a perma-laugh attack the whole time I was ordering (lol). Then I went to pee and as soon as I shut the door I hear *knock* *knock* and someones turning the knob. I open the door and yell in the guys face (he was a worker there, around 14-16) "I'm pissing in here!" lol hes like "oh sorry" and runs away lol. People were staring and I was just laughing. My friend wanted me to go back and do the same thing but with my dick out and pee all over the guy, but I refused.

[Chronic.Tonic]

The only real foul story I can think of didn't really involve me or anyone I knew. Anyways, I was at this party and totally stoned, I looked over at this guy who way drunk as he walked over to this girl who I assume he thought was cute(only because she was:D .) So yeah he walks over and starts talking to her and then blows chunks all over her shirt. I busted out laughing and watched this girl run outside the house screaming and whatever. After that I decided to leave and saw that girl outside trying to get a ride from her friend. I laughed to myself and wondered off.. I saw her a few days after the party and asked her how long it took to get that vomit out of her shirt. She said she threw the shirt out the window on her way home.

[Abattoir Dream]

lol great stories, all of them...

i remember a while back (weedyboys story jogged my memory) i was sat in my brothers room and i had half rolled a cigarette, i just needed to lick n stick, so anyways, i put it on the windowsill to look for a roach or a filter, and the wind picked it up and took it out the window, everyone started laughing, so i looked up to see what was happening only to find my half made roll-up gone, so i looked around the room and everyone was like 'i swear on my life i havent got it' and told me it went out the window, about thirty seconds later as i looked towards the window it flew BACK IN and into my hand lol, it even had the tobacco still in it, EVERYONE there saw it too, and we all burst out laughing lol, it may not be a 'foul' smoking story, but it was a very funny one at the time...:) - peace...

[Eazy]

lol Abatt lol thats not foul u got a roll up back from the wind!

your just high
lol
.

[Arklenao2]

my friend took 6 gravitys (6 liters each) of catnip and said he felt stoned...

[TheSmokingMonkey]

OK, LMAO about the first post.

[TheSmokingMonkey]

Oh fuck the toilet story is hilarious... lol

[STIMPY21]

Ok one last story that stinks.Actually I have a million more, the place where I used to work had Team Farting and they actually kept score, anyway on to the story. A dear friend Louis (RIP) and I were driving around drinking beer and burning a jay or 2 and we rolled up to another friends named Dean's house. As soon as we rounded the corner I saw Dean was taking his dog Pockets out to shit, it was a little scruffy looking dog . At the same time my buddie rips one of those burning brakes type of farts that smell like you left the parking brake up while driving down the road. He stops the car in Dean's yard and while we were getting out the little shit of a dog jumps in and starts licking the seat. Louis tries to get the dog out of the car and the dog growls at him, and bared teeth. I laughed so hard I nearly puissed my self. Dean was mucho embarrased when he had to come and get his dog out of Louis's car.
STIMPY21

[SteelerStoner]

it was a couple weeks ago and we were in the usual smoke spot out in the woods by a BIG ROCK and we finish smoking a good 3 bowls between three people and my friend starts having a sezure and im just to high to realize whats going on until he falls off this 10-15 foot cliff! so i run over there jump off and
he's STILL having a sezure so i make sure he dosent hit his head and his pants come off (he was comando style) and my best friend comes over and right at that second he pisses all over my friend!!! and he wakes up and sees my friend and says what the fuck happened to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA

[I just love weed]

it was a couple weeks ago and we were in the usual smoke spot out in the woods by a BIG ROCK and we finish smoking a good 3 bowls between three people and my friend starts having a sezure and im just to high to realize whats going on until he falls off this 10-15 foot cliff! so i run over there jump off and
he's STILL having a sezure so i make sure he dosent hit his head and his pants come off (he was comando style) and my best friend comes over and right at that second he pisses all over my friend!!! and he wakes up and sees my friend and says what the fuck happened to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA

he had a seizure and you pissed on him? wtf is wrong with you dude, you need some fucking counciling or some shit.

[MastaChronic]

he had a seizure and you pissed on him? wtf is wrong with you dude, you need some fucking counciling or some shit.

i think he meant the friend that was having a seizure pissed on the other guy

[Arklenao2]

americas funniest home videos

[Pius]

you guys r sick...but that is some pretty funny shit

[herostyle]

This one kid always acted like he was stoned and he said he got 18 gs for 40 dollars. So he sold him a 10 bag of oregano and other cooking greens and we sold it to him for 40. And we told him Tums were esctasy. haha.

[herostyle]

Oh shit that was my 300th post