Funniest Sexual Moment

[dutch.lover]

What's the funniest thing thats happened to you, involving sex? I get a laugh from a lot of these posts so I thought I would dedicate one to JUST funny stuff.

My funniest moment was probably when my bf and i were fooling around, and we lost a little dolphin vibrator 'up there'. Getting that thing out was fucking difficult and it was hilarious watching my bf try to play doctor...could you imagine having to go to the doctor for something like that??!

Share your stories!!

[someuser]

Hmmmmm. I dont have any real funny stories about myself. Closest thing I can come up with somewhat related was:

Several years ago I meet this chick through a friend. The girl and I hit it off real quick and we start joking around with my friend to do various 'things'.

It started off by daring him to stick a Q-tip in his dick (ouch)... He actually did it which was funny to see but the kicker was when we dared him to masturbate outside in her front yard. LoL

I think it was sometime in the winter cause I remember it was cold... The dude proceeds to whack off in this chick drive-way with one hand while smoking a cig with the other... Me and this girl are laughing our ASSES off and right when we turn to look at him to laugh more the dude 'cums' all over the basketball post :D

Ok, it was one of those things you had to be there!

[someuser]

Oh, just remember one of me actually (well the girl).

I'm sure others have had this happen to them. I had sex with a girl in the bathtub once and we must have been going at if for several minutes... I guess I was building up some suction cause when I pulled out it made this big loud POP noise.

We both couldnt stop laughing :D

[birdgirl73]

What's the funniest thing thats happened to you, involving sex? I get a laugh from a lot of these posts so I thought I would dedicate one to JUST funny stuff.

My funniest moment was probably when my bf and i were fooling around, and we lost a little dolphin vibrator 'up there'. Getting that thing out was fucking difficult and it was hilarious watching my bf try to play doctor...could you imagine having to go to the doctor for something like that??!

Share your stories!!
OK, this is the funniest story I know, but it happened to Adrian, a girl I knew in college. And it actually ranks more as embarrassing, I think, than funny, as any girls who read this will surely agree. Adrian went on a summertime language immersion trip to a small town in Mexico when she was a junior in college. Lived with a local family and studied Spanish during the day at a language school. The mother of her host family was a nice middle-aged lady, who was dying to set her up with the town's most eligible bachelor, and sure nough, she'd set up had a blind date for Adrian and the bachelor that night. The bachelor woud come to pick her up.

Well, that afternoon, Adrian got her period and happened to use a tampon. Only the strings got up too far, and she couldn't get it out. Tried and tried and only made the situation worse. Finally she told her host mother about the problem. They host mother wasn't comfortable trying to assist Adrian, but she helpfully called the local doctor, who came and quickly dealt with the problem, removing the tampon, and not mentioning that he was also her date for the evening. He showed up again, two hours later, bringing flowers, and they went out. But she was so embarrassed that she couldn't have any fun.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

I was having sex with my girlfriend once and my mother walked in...I couldn't stop laughing.

It's always funny when a girl specifically asks me not to cum on her face, and i pull out and nut all over her face and hair.

one time i was having sex with a girl and her dad burst in and hit me in the neck with a golf club.

One time i was fucking this dumb girl in a porta potty at this public park, and she was so into it she didnt notice that i threw her pants into the dookie hole, I busted my nut and dipped out before she knew what was up. She never talked to me again.

oh, some chick puked on my dick too...it was kinda fucked up.

[dutch.lover]

just what i wanted to hear...thanks........................




I was having sex with my girlfriend once and my mother walked in...I couldn't stop laughing.

It's always funny when a girl specifically asks me not to cum on her face, and i pull out and nut all over her face and hair.

one time i was having sex with a girl and her dad burst in and hit me in the neck with a golf club.

One time i was fucking this dumb girl in a porta potty at this public park, and she was so into it she didnt notice that i threw her pants into the dookie hole, I busted my nut and dipped out before she knew what was up. She never talked to me again.

oh, some chick puked on my dick too...it was kinda fucked up.

[birdgirl73]

I was having sex with my girlfriend once and my mother walked in...I couldn't stop laughing.

It's always funny when a girl specifically asks me not to cum on her face, and i pull out and nut all over her face and hair.

one time i was having sex with a girl and her dad burst in and hit me in the neck with a golf club.

One time i was fucking this dumb girl in a porta potty at this public park, and she was so into it she didnt notice that i threw her pants into the dookie hole, I busted my nut and dipped out before she knew what was up. She never talked to me again.

oh, some chick puked on my dick too...it was kinda fucked up.
Ol Schwaggy, are you a teenager?

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

Is that sarcasm?


I think its funny:(

and no, im not really a teenager anymore...although almost all those stories are from when i was between 14 and 17.

[birdgirl73]

I'm just trying to figure out how old you are. If you're still very young, that might explain why some of that seems funny. For folks who've had more sex, though, most of your tales just seem sorta embarrassing and, in a couple of instances, downright mean-spirited. You don't seem like you're much into treating ladies very nicely.

[dutch.lover]

i agree...and also, i have always wondered- how did the phrase bust a nut get started anywho?

[B u M b L ee K y]

I'm just trying to figure out how old you are. If you're still very young, that might explain why some of that seems funny. For folks who've had more sex, though, most of your tales just seem sorta embarrassing and, in a couple of instances, downright mean-spirited. You don't seem like you're much into treating ladies very nicely.

Females get treated by guys how they want to be treated. No woman with respect for herself and others would end up with a guy like him so I hate to say it, but the ladies probably deserved it in their case.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

I'm just trying to figure out how old you are. If you're still very young, that might explain why some of that seems funny. For folks who've had more sex, though, most of your tales just seem sorta embarrassing and, in a couple of instances, downright mean-spirited. You don't seem like you're much into treating ladies very nicely.

Well, I'm turning 19 in a couple weeks.
A lot of it was embarrasing until I got over it. And you don't know the kind of girls I used to hook up with, a lot of them were rude, angry females.
And before you say anything about how i treat/view ladies, it's probably worth stating that due to a kind of complex legal situation that's put me out of a job, I am, at the moment, being financially supported by my wonderfull goddess girlfriend. Who i was when i was 15 is not who I am now, even though I still laugh when i think back to some of the shit I've done.

[dutch.lover]

How does it feel to be supported by a woman? I was in that situation a while ago with my bf, i had/have a well paying job, and he was jobless. We live together, so he started calling himself the "stay at home boyfriend." haha

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

How does it feel to be supported by a woman? I was in that situation a while ago with my bf, i had/have a well paying job, and he was jobless. We live together, so he started calling himself the "stay at home boyfriend." haha

I feel guilty, because I'm so used to being able to take care of her and buy her nice things...but now i just sit around all day waiting for something interesting to happen. She likes it well enough though.

[birdgirl73]

Females get treated by guys how they want to be treated. No woman with respect for herself and others would end up with a guy like him so I hate to say it, but the ladies probably deserved it in their case.
Well, I hear what you're saying, but i tend to think no one truly deserves to be treated badly. Women who don't like themselves can end up attracting men who don't treat them well, it's true. But that's still not justification for the bad treatment in the long run. Just a reason why it happens.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

Females get treated by guys how they want to be treated. No woman with respect for herself and others would end up with a guy like him so I hate to say it, but the ladies probably deserved it in their case.

hey now, don't hate. I've dated plenty of great girls, but a select few have been generally bad people. Some of my "stories" seem a lot worse out of context. FOr instance, the girl whose pants i threw into the porta pottie had beaten up my friends girlfriend for no reason, so my brand of juvenile justice was to have sex with and humiliate her.
and all the others are with girls i've maintained good friendships with and who laugh with me recalling certain instances.

I dont treat every girl i've been with like scum.

[B u M b L ee K y]

Well, I hear what you're saying, but i tend to think no one truly deserves to be treated badly. Women who don't like themselves can end up attracting men who don't treat them well, it's true. But that's still not justification for the bad treatment in the long run. Just a reason why it happens.

I'm not supporting the idea nor saying that's how I act, as a person, but was only trying to make a reasonable explanation in his defense as to why he would do such things. Ol Schwaggy Bastard, no girl should be treated like scum.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

I'm not supporting the idea nor saying that's how I act, as a person, but was only trying to make a reasonable explanation in his defense as to why he would do such things. Ol Schwaggy Bastard, no girl should be treated like scum.

I'm not saying they should. I'm just saying that they have been, and in a few instances it still makes me laugh. Call me an asshole, but I still think throwing that girls pants in that porta pottie is funny.

[maryjanehaze]

I was having sex with my girlfriend once and my mother walked in...I couldn't stop laughing.

It's always funny when a girl specifically asks me not to cum on her face, and i pull out and nut all over her face and hair.

one time i was having sex with a girl and her dad burst in and hit me in the neck with a golf club.

One time i was fucking this dumb girl in a porta potty at this public park, and she was so into it she didnt notice that i threw her pants into the dookie hole, I busted my nut and dipped out before she knew what was up. She never talked to me again.

oh, some chick puked on my dick too...it was kinda fucked up.

holy shit dude....no...

[tootsie roll]

just what i wanted to hear...thanks........................

rotflol!

[tootsie roll]

I'm just trying to figure out how old you are. If you're still very young, that might explain why some of that seems funny. For folks who've had more sex, though, most of your tales just seem sorta embarrassing and, in a couple of instances, downright mean-spirited. You don't seem like you're much into treating ladies very nicely.

Agreed!

[rajking86]

DAMN Old schaggy bastard....some chicks dad bust in and HIT U IN THE NECK WITH A GOLF CLUB???

i need details.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

DAMN Old schaggy bastard....some chicks dad bust in and HIT U IN THE NECK WITH A GOLF CLUB???

i need details.

There's not too much more to say about it, other than the fact I ran outta there without all my clothes as fast as I possibly could. And the fact that I kept dating the girl for a couple months on the down low. The girl was pretty mad about it for a while, so she'd leave condoms and shit around her house to get him ripshit all the time.

[dutch.lover]

Thats pretty gross...but pretty funny. I wish my dad got mad that easily- unfortunately he is the type to just stay quiet when something awkward/uncomfortable happens :( lol

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

Thats pretty gross...but pretty funny. I wish my dad got mad that easily- unfortunately he is the type to just stay quiet when something awkward/uncomfortable happens :( lol

My parents never got mad either, every time i've been walked in on, it's been by mother, and she'd always laugh and run away.

[Kryzco]

its a little dark secret no one likes to talk about

f.a.r.t.i.n.g. during intercourse

its rare but it does happen

and it is some funny shit

or worse the queef

[B u M b L ee K y]

its a little dark secret no one likes to talk about

f.a.r.t.i.n.g. during intercourse

its rare but it does happen

and it is some funny shit

or worse the queef

Girls can't fart. They don't shit either. Females don't have an anus.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

Girls can't fart. They don't shit either. Females don't have an anus.

That's not entirely true, seeing as how they fart rainbows and butterflies and shit cinnabuns.

[LIP]

I dont like to think of women farting or shitting.

They are "wasteless" humans.

[. chelsey]

This story is funny now, but when it happened I was kind of embaressed.
I met this guy and we went out for a drink. After that we smoked a couple joints and eventually went to his motel room and started having sex. Right in the middle of it, I said the wrong name! He stopped and laughed and said, "What?" I was like, 'Sorry, what your name again?"

[someuser]

Right in the middle of it, I said the wrong name! He stopped and laughed and said, "What?" I was like, 'Sorry, what your name again?"

LoL

Ahhhh... I've done that before.... Except not to just some random stranger :stoned:

I guess the two girls that I happened to accidentally do that to made it a point to make sure that memory will never be looked at as funny for me!

[Th3 sand m4n]

this happend when i was 16 it was my second time and i was doing my girl friend and all of a sudden their was this loud farting noise i guess form the suction and then their was an awkward silence where we just kinda looked at each other and then we just burst out laughing. Ah good times :)

[smoking habit]

one time i walked in on my friend right after this girl had barfed all over his dick. HE SLAPPED HER!!!! ROOOOOFFFLLLLLLLLLLL even just thinkin about it.

another time i busted on this girl alex's face after she gave me a really horrible bj, and some got in her hair and we didnt notice, and we went back down to the party and someone brought up the glob in her hair right in front of alot of people and immidiately everyone knew what was up. that was also hilarious.

[dutch.lover]

queefs are hilarious, i mean they can be awkward, but when ur with someone ur comfortable with- they are soooooo funny! Even worse, if a bunch of air has built up in the vagina, laughing only pushes it out more, making things even worse! its a vicious, hilarious, circle... hahahha

[justinsane]

piper piper the red red worm, woke last night to the sound of the storm

her words were the words i sailed upon

[B u M b L ee K y]

Queefs are not hilarious when they smell like another man's semen.

[OniEhtRedrum781]

Queefs are not hilarious when they smell like another man's semen.

If that's the case, u've got a problem...

[Eraserhead71]

doggy style makes em queef real good

[MastaChronic]

this thread reminds me of a funny story
this girl id been smokin out with for the night goes down on me for about 25 minutes, after i bust my nut and in the middle of her swallowing my explosion i said, "purple people eater" and she laughed so hard cum flew out of her nose

i already posted this in the spit or swallow thread

[partyguy420]

doggy style makes em queef real good

thats true, me and my ex could never figure that out, but it was one of the most injoyable positons for both of us, cause the fact that her legs are closed, and it makes her tight.

[OniEhtRedrum781]

i already posted this in the spit or swallow thread

jesus fuckin' christ...

[Fengzi]

When our daughter was born my wife breastfed. One thing that's definitely cool about this is that she went up 2 cup sizes c:D The obvious reason they go up 2 cup sizes is that they are full of milk. Anyhow, the first time we had sex after she gave birth my wife was prettty "full". So there I was, happily going at it for the first time in a couple months, when all of a sudden she sprung a leak and this little stream of milk literally comes shooting like a foot out, spraying me right in the face.

[dutch.lover]

that must have been some surprise lol

[partyguy420]

When our daughter was born my wife breastfed. One thing that's definitely cool about this is that she went up 2 cup sizes c:D The obvious reason they go up 2 cup sizes is that they are full of milk. Anyhow, the first time we had sex after she gave birth my wife was prettty "full". So there I was, happily going at it for the first time in a couple months, when all of a sudden she sprung a leak and this little stream of milk literally comes shooting like a foot out, spraying me right in the face.

wow... you may be the only strait guy that knows what its like to be shot in the face with a white substance from the private parts of some ones body, i dont think i would blow it on my girls face after that....(i dont uasly blow it in there face unless they are whores.... or if they ask... or if we arent realy daiting, and arent trying to be romantic.... actualy.... were am i sapost to blow a load if im trying to be romantic????)

[dutch.lover]

i think boobs might be acceptable

[JazzNKB]

One time my ex girlfriend and i were in bed and she was talking to her mom on the phone. While she was doing this i proceeded to finger her. It was funny watching her try not to moan but she laughed about it afterwards:thumbsup:

[partyguy420]

One time my ex girlfriend and i were in bed and she was talking to her mom on the phone. While she was doing this i proceeded to finger her. It was funny watching her try not to moan but she laughed about it afterwards:thumbsup:

hey.... something like that has happend... my ex was talking on the phone with some guy, and so i unzpped my pants, and pulled out my penis, and i moved one of her hands to it, and she just started jerking me off.... ahh that was funny....

[Spiritual]

One time my ex girlfriend and i were in bed and she was talking to her mom on the phone. While she was doing this i proceeded to finger her. It was funny watching her try not to moan but she laughed about it afterwards:thumbsup:

I did that once. She would just stop talking all of a sudden and I'd hear her mom be like "Nikki! Are you still there?". She'd have the cutest facial expression. Man those were good times.:p

[Chuddy]

Once blew my load in my g/f's face in the shower and she laughed.






:p

rofl

[3rdEyeVision]

your my hero Ol Schwaggy Bastard lol

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

wow... you may be the only strait guy that knows what its like to be shot in the face with a white substance from the private parts of some ones body, i dont think i would blow it on my girls face after that....(i dont uasly blow it in there face unless they are whores.... or if they ask... or if we arent realy daiting, and arent trying to be romantic.... actualy.... were am i sapost to blow a load if im trying to be romantic????)

The bellys always fun, usually hits the tits too, and doesn't require squirming up to your knees with your pecker in your hand like a jackass.:thumbsup:

[dutch.lover]

here's a new one, although it's sorta embarrassing (but still really funny). two weeks ago, my friends and i were all partying for my birthday and my bf got really drunk. we left the party early because he had had too much and he wanted to go have drunk sex. little did i know how it would turn out...

sooo we are going at it, he is taking forever cause he is so drunk and im tired so i told him i wanted to stop. we compromised, so i started giving him a handjob but eventually he took the reins. next thing i know my entire face and chest is COVERED in cum!!!!! i didnt see it coming AT ALL, and neither did he apparently. i woke up the next morning with my eyes practically crusted shut. gross i know...but i hope someone finds some humor in it. lol.

[partyguy420]

thats gross dutch lover... i did that to my ex one time to...

[dutch.lover]

haha well he didnt mean to... it was really nasty at the time but i cant help but laugh my ass off whenever i think about it now

[partyguy420]

i dont think i ment to either... we were both piss drunk...

[hammertime]

funniest thing ever was getting head from my ex gf and i kinda humped my dick forward and gagged her, and she barfed on a towel that i was gonna bust on. It wasnt very funny, i kinda felt bad bc i did it to her but not on purpose. but we both laughed it off

[jeremy thunder]

my ex's autistic little brother walked in on us once, but i guess that's more awkward than funny..

[dutch.lover]

i guess it depends on what he did when he walked in. lol.

[Nav Man]

i guess it depends on what he did when he walked in. lol.

LOL HAHAHAHAH
start hearing heavy breathing.....
*fwap fwap fwap*

[BlueCat]

oh this is a funny thread...ok I have one that was pretty embarrassing.

My husband was coming home early so I showered "powdered" and prepared for some afternoon delight. We were just getting started with a little 69 foreplay when there was a loud knock at the door. So my hubby threw on his jeans and ran to answer the door (the knock sounded urgent) I heard some other voices then heard him say look I'm really busy....

By this time I am sitting up in bed with the light on waiting for him to return.

When he walks through the door all pissed off because it was just Jehovah's witnesses I laughed my ass off....all over his face and around his mouth was my baby powder! I guess I had used too much :D It was pretty funny.

[dutch.lover]

Those Jehovah's witnesses drive me crazy. I don't mean to insult anyone; but it doesn't matter what group of people come knocking on my door, if it is frequent and they are trying to pressure me into something, i am going to be annoyed. Anyways, I hope to get this thread lifted off the ground again- it could provide mucho entertainment

[gabee42ee]

wow... you may be the only strait guy that knows what its like to be shot in the face with a white substance from the private parts of some ones body, i dont think i would blow it on my girls face after that....(i dont uasly blow it in there face unless they are whores.... or if they ask... or if we arent realy daiting, and arent trying to be romantic.... actualy.... were am i sapost to blow a load if im trying to be romantic????)

is this true for most guys i wonder?

[gabee42ee]

ok and as a funny story ... once back in like 9th grade i had just finished havingsex with my boyfriend and we hadn't used a condom at the time .. coz i was dumb and he pulled out and i thought he just nutted on my bed so we got up and got dressed. we went over to my friends where they all proceeded to point and laugh at the big wad of cum that was on the bottom of my pants. oops. i tried saying it was icing.... didn't work

[friendowl]

when i was a youngster i was at a house party
and i was wasted. i couldnt even see.
i dont know how it happened but i ended up with some chick
in the room.it was dark and i remember her breath smelled liek beers
i was rubbing her breasts and kissing her neck and soon enough
i was hitting that shit.all of a sudden the lights turn on and like
12 people are laughing and yelling and shit
i barely even noticed and i kept on trying to hit but the girl took off
the next day when i seen myself on video i tripped out
i couldnt belive that was me
i was seriously wasted and i dont even remeber her face or who she was

[OniEhtRedrum781]

when i was a youngster i was at a house party
and i was wasted. i couldnt even see.
i dont know how it happened but i ended up with some chick
in the room.it was dark and i remember her breath smelled liek beers
i was rubbing her breasts and kissing her neck and soon enough
i was hitting that shit.all of a sudden the lights turn on and like
12 people are laughing and yelling and shit
i barely even noticed and i kept on trying to hit but the girl took off
the next day when i seen myself on video i tripped out
i couldnt belive that was me
i was seriously wasted and i dont even remeber her face or who she was

Nice, very nice!

[KGod86]

Like 2 months ago my gf started sucking me off, i was around to bust so she stoped sucking, and when i busted it went in her nose,

also i once busted on my face on accident, i get some distance.

[shilling]

My ex-girlfriend and I went to the park one evening. Found a secluded spot under some trees, bushes, et.c. Started going at it...she was wearing a dress with nothing underneath, so easy access.

Anyway, a few minutes later, a dog that was being walked off leash turns up and just looked at us with his tongue hangin out.

Both of us just froze till he went away to his owner and then laughed our asses off, and carried on. Outdoors sex is brilliant, except for the mosquitos!

[Shannon]

Girls can't fart. They don't shit either. Females don't have an anus.

expect for fucking right?

[Herbal]

I was kicked out of my house for banging the foreign exchange student living with us. My little sister walked in on us and ratted me out.

Another time though, I was getting this super BJ. I must of really gotten into it cause the next thing I knew, I let out this MONSTROUS fart. No joke, it went on for like 10 seconds. Never laughed so hard in my life.

[dutch.lover]

^haha that's terrible, but that's what happens when u relax.

[Herbal]

Woot, I had reply #69.

[AlwaysBlazed]

Uhh, it was dark and I made out with a girls face before... like completely missing the mouth. It was really funny.

[SwirlyMass]

expect for fucking right?

IMO the 'poop chute' is a little tighter on some girls, so yeah, sometimes.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

ok... so i've had sex with a friend of mine a number of times... at first i had never seen him naked, it was always dark, or we were drunk.


one day, we were talking, and i brought up circumcisions, and he said he was glad he didnt get cut.

later on, i believe it was that day, i was giving him head, and realized he was cut, so i have him this real sarcastic look, and said "i thought you werent circumcised" and he was all shocked "im not!".


ahh it still cracks me up that he didnt know what a circumcision was, even after i explained it to him that it was the removal of extra skin that folds over the head!!! XD


he's so dumb sometimes...

[klup]

this happened a couple years ago.

ive known my friend for a while, since elementary school and were seniors now, and his sister has always been a bitch to us. she was a couple years older and as i got older i noticed she was pretty hot, but as i guess i 'developed' she kinda took a small interest in me yet she was still bitchy. one day i was helping him with some work around his house and she was just trying to boss us around and later that night, after a few bowls, i jokingly said 'dude, id like to bust if your sisters face, then take a picture. then shed stop being such a complete psycho.' my friend was like 'haha, yeah, go for it.'

well what started off as a joke eventually turned into reality, and i grabbed my little digital out of my pants and snapped a picture of her most glorious hour. later i emailed her the pic with 'ploosh' written on the bottom. now whenever i see her, i mutter 'ploosh' and she angriliy stomps out of the room, while i cant help but smile from ear to ear.

[cannabis=freedom]

haha dude, that's crazy.

[N3D FLANDERS]

...i was at some pissey little airport that only had one bathroom...and REALLY needed to rub one out
it was a unisex bathroom and a nun caught me wanking
quite traumatizing to both of us

[ReUp]

This thread was awesome so I guess I'll add to it.

My friend brought this chick back to his apartment where I was staying. She seemed like a nice girl and goddamn was she hot. Me and another friend who were not with the chick were just smoking a few bowls and playing Halo if I recall. Finally the chick and my friend walk into his room.

then it got crazy. What I thought to be a nice chick was actually one of the loudest and dirtiest talkers I had ever heard. It was funny as hell at first but after a while a chick yelling "beat my pussy up" gets pretty annoying. So I crack the door and tell her to keep it down because we are trying to chill. She never does shut up and they go on for about an hour and finally it stops and she gets in the shower.

Well I'm sleeping on the couch and wake up to this chicks face looking right up close to me. In about five minutes she has pretty much offered her body to me. Meh, why not, but the issue was that everyone else was asleep. But they are my friends and I made her promise me she wouldnt be loud. So we band for a good half hour and as shes cumming she just yells loud as fuck "FUUUUUCK MEEEEEEE."

My friends proceed to walk out and laugh their asses off. She didn't even get embarassed just pulled me closer. Needless to say she stayed many more nights at the apartment.

[TheFatKid]

I was jackin off, and lets just say some of my keys are still a little hard to press down.

[TallulahGreen]

hhahhaha oh man I don't know if my story should go under FUNNY or incredibly disgusting and gross that no one should ever have to learn about.

Anyway...it all started one night after a long night of drinking at the bars...(I'm sure you can tell where this is going...)...

...anyway...as always...we decided to have a little drunken sex. My boyfriend however is obviously unaware of how trashed I am...and I am too, obviously.

So anyway..I end up puking while were having sex...all over the bed and stuff...and being the nice boyfriend that he is, he drags me to the shower...
...proceeds to wash and condition my hair, all the while here I am sitting on the floor of the shower flailing my body around unable to keep my balance..

....Unable to keep me stable my boyfriend has this brilliant idea, that since I am kneeling on the floor and he is standing trying to wash me...that he decides it would be a good idea if I were to use his penis for leverage. SO he tells me to "JUST hold onto my penis!"...haha.

I wake up the next morning with different sheets on the bed...a bowl of dried puke next to the bed...multiple towels....and my hair is in near dread locks.

I honestly woke up having no recollection that any of that had happend the previous night...


hahhahah....

[huh]

i was drunk and at a party over the summer and i was getting head from some random ass chick, she was kinda chunky but i was hella drunk so it didnt matter. so im getting head in the bathroom and i rested my beer on her head when it was going up and down and she was like "wtf?", and then when i busted a load i was like "SHIZZAM!!!" and she laughed and got jizz everywhere.

thanks to dane cook for the great idea :D

[dutch.lover]

haha yeah this thread is pretty funny...and your story^ was gross, but i had a gross one about drunken sex earlier too (altho i still wanna laugh my ass off thinking about it)