Crazy, young, stupid, impulsive, indecisive...

[TallulahGreen]

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Why do I do this to myself? Why do I make stupid impulsive decisions to only realize after they are good and done that they were absolutly STUPID?
I don't know why I go to you guys for problems...maybe cause I am lonely and looking for some support.

I moved 290 miles away from home nearly a month ago. I freakin' hate it, most would say I didn't give it a chance....in fact, that might be true.
HOWEVER I have an amazing boyfriend I left at home, that I truly see myself marrying. Yes, maybe I am young and stupid...but he makes me so freakin' happy.
My family put a lot of money and effort into getting me this far away for college.
...well, I told them tonight I think I want to go back. I got a serious freakout from the fam.

So I am now thinking maying I just will move back and drop out of college until fall 2007 and be financially independant so my family can't say shit about my decisions. Although if they found out I was going to drop out of school until the fall of 2007 then they would freakout even more.

...ugh I am so stressed out, I just want to go home to my friends and family instead of living in this gross city.

I am so torn. I don't want shit from my family, I appreciate their help, but I also appreciate a healthy mental state.
UUGHHHHH.
So this topic was a little off topic...but I just need to get this shit OUT.

[Its a Plant]

And OUT you got it.

That does sound like quite the squeeze you're in, too. My only advice, if I can offer any from an objective point of view, is to thoroughly think this through.

<Follow your heart>, even if it doesn't go over well with some *at first*. If they love you, they'll understand that you gotta do what YOU gotta do, as much as it might ruin whatever 'master plan' they have for you.

It sounds like you have a lot of love and support around you, so be thankful that they are there for you, and will always be there for you. No one says you have to finish college all at once anyways, right?

Do YOUR thing. It's your life.
Now don't feel so torn and buck up! Be happy =)
Don't be so down on yourself about past 'mistakes' you made. I believe everything happens for a reason.

Hope you follow your heart - - take care. ~

[acrca]

dont worry be happy

[TallulahGreen]

I supposed everything will turn out okay. My family basically tries to vicariously live through me, and the women in my family are aboslutly NUTS...and the older they are the more CRAZY they are and the more involved in my life they are.

If I were to even tell them I was going to stop college for a little bit they would FREAK OUT. I have been in college since the day I graduated high school.

I don't like living in a city, I don't feel safe. My family helped me out a lot and are saying I can go home if I want but SERIOUSLY GUILT TRIPPING THE FUCK OUT OF ME. I know I haven't been here long but I know who I am and I know what I want.
I have to go back to my boyfriend..I have been with him a year and a half...and I just know we have a lot more time left together. I have never met anyone who made me so happy so it's really hard to be so far away.
My family bought me a lot of stuff to live alone, and are really pissed that I want to come back...and telling me I need to take care of all my own shit, which is no problem.
...HOWEVER if I told them I want to move home and in with my boyfriend..I am even more afraid of their reaction.

Sorry if this didn't make sense..I am a little drunk myself..

I seriously HATE having a psychotic family that feels the need to vicariously live through me and make sure that I don't screw up and get pregnant....

[suhl]

i am actually facing a similar situation but my parents listened to what i had to say and are fine with me moving back home, i wasnt going to let them change my mind anyway and they realize that after it was clear i wasnt going to be talked out of it.

[Jongbong]

I supposed everything will turn out okay. My family basically tries to vicariously live through me, and the women in my family are aboslutly NUTS...and the older they are the more CRAZY they are and the more involved in my life they are.

If I were to even tell them I was going to stop college for a little bit they would FREAK OUT. I have been in college since the day I graduated high school.

I don't like living in a city, I don't feel safe. My family helped me out a lot and are saying I can go home if I want but SERIOUSLY GUILT TRIPPING THE FUCK OUT OF ME. I know I haven't been here long but I know who I am and I know what I want.
I have to go back to my boyfriend..I have been with him a year and a half...and I just know we have a lot more time left together. I have never met anyone who made me so happy so it's really hard to be so far away.
My family bought me a lot of stuff to live alone, and are really pissed that I want to come back...and telling me I need to take care of all my own shit, which is no problem.
...HOWEVER if I told them I want to move home and in with my boyfriend..I am even more afraid of their reaction.

Sorry if this didn't make sense..I am a little drunk myself..

I seriously HATE having a psychotic family that feels the need to vicariously live through me and make sure that I don't screw up and get pregnant....

i'm sorry to hear that your not enjoying your independent life in the cities but what you really need is NEW friends, forget about the friends at home (at least while your in the city) make new friends, build your own life, someday your going to look back and tell your kids about this. give it some time.

[TallulahGreen]

I don't want to give it time...I want to go home to my boyfriend. He came up to visit me this weekend and it was pure bliss the whole time.
My whole family loves him and would be perfectly fine if I married him...
..except they want me to get the college experience.
I can easily go to university in my HOME TOWN and my family would save lots of money.

Sure my mom spent a lot of money on material items for my apartment...but she acts like I am never going to use them again or something. She is making me feel really bad for buying me so much, and it's like..I appreciate it all and I don't know why she can't understand that I will still use everything.

I have friends in the city that are from my hometown that I hang out with...but I really just don't think I am a city girl AT ALL. I have had way too many freaky scary things happen...

I just want to go home and forget about this experience all together, cities are much more fun to visit than to live.

I just wish my family wasn't being such assholes about what I want. If I stay here I won't like it...
BLAH...I should have never left in the first place...but then I suppose I would never appreciate my small town as much as I do now.
My boyfriend is totally fine with me moving in and moving all my shit in with him..but my mom is acting PSYCHOTIC. PSYCHO family members..AHHHH.

[TallulahGreen]

Suhl, may I ask how long you lasted??

[suhl]

i am in my third semester of school and am going back home and taking the semester off after this one. my problem is mainly that i dont know what i want to do still and will have all my gen ed classes pretty close to done after this semester, and if i get into a major and decide to switch it will lead to me either having to stick it out and getting pigeonholed into a career i dont want or spending much longer int college. not to much spending even more money on school. Also i dont really like it here, i have met people and can go out and stuff, but not really doing what i want on the weekends if i had my choice, and most of them arent really my kind of people. and the school just hasnt been good for the most part i have hated most of my classes, save three or four. my dad wasnt very receptive at first thinking i would just settle at home working my old shitty job for the rest of my life and be okay with it but i explained to him that that wasnt what i wanted, honestly i may rather be dead than have that happen, and that i was not really having a good time at school, then he was more understanding

[birdgirl73]

Talluluh, so sorry you're feeling so miserable and homesick at the moment.

I honestly think you're probably not giving it a fair shake yet where you are. I probably sound like the parent-aged person I am, but it's true. You're standing right smack at a huge crossroads in your life right now: you can stick it out, at least for a relatively small amount of one semester (which is pretty welll paid for now) like a soon-to-be-adult or let those feelings of homesickness/boyfriendsickness encourage you to turn tail and come home, two months or less into your semester, not having finished or accomplished anything you'd set out to do (here I'm not talking about a degree, I'm talking about a semester's course credits, a nearly five-month time out of the nest, some early steps toward adulthood).

This is a growing-up crossroads you're facing, and I'd like to see you take the grownup route. I'm not saying for an entire year. Or forever till you graduate. For one semester, one which is already nearly halfway through. You're going to go through tons of changes in these next years and months, and what you want right now isn't necessarily what you'll want three months from now, much less four years.

If that relationship and boyfriend are as wonderful as you profess they are, then they will stand the test of your finishing out the next couple of months. Then by the time you do that, perhaps you'll be looking through less homesick eyes and not making an impulsive, emotionally driven decision. Sure, no one can make you stay but yourself. But I think you'll be letting yourself down in the long run if you run back to your comfort zone now. Strange as it may seem, what you're going through right now are growing pains. You're out of your normal comfort zone, and as awful as it may feel it's a huge growing experience. You'll see that later on.

[suhl]

definitely dont leave mid semester that is wasting money

[TallulahGreen]

Well yeah I wasn't planning on doing that...I was planning on leaving after it was over.

[birdgirl73]

Oh, well, good! Glad to hear that. I think that's a good plan. And a good amount of time in which to make up one's mind.

Do you think you might be able to cultivate a couple of close buddies at school between now and the semester's end? I think that'd help ease your current troubles a lot by simply helping you feel emotionally anchored to someone at school, too.

[TallulahGreen]

Actually my 2 best friends from back home live here. They are always there for me but for some reason it still doesn't seem to feel like it's what I want. I mean it is really nice they are here for me, and I am glad that they like it, but the thought of my old home makes me really much happier.

[birdgirl73]

Yeah, I hear you. Mine did, too, when I your age. I had the same thing, even with close friends present. That's nice you like your home. I think that says a lot about your having been raised in a loving, comfortable environment if you crave to be back there in it. That's not something everyone can say, you know?

[peace plz]

Hey, I am sorry to hear you're not enjoying it where you are. I don't know how you couldn't like it there, it's a wonderful city. I come up there every few weeks, so if you ever need anything or even just some new faces in your life, let me know. I'm only 2 hours south. Keep your head up. Things will work themselves out!