Shit!!! My Only Chance!!! Help!!!

[Acouwaila]

Ok so ive ALMOST scored a job here soon with a cleaning service in this town near my college...

the onyl thing is...she said they have a drug test before they can hire me....I mean I smoked ....umm...yesterday...and I called tonight...

she said she will contact me tomorrow...

I mean if theres any fucking way I can get clean before this test pleaseeee let me know!!!

= ( I really need this job

[Frozen Sativa]

Have your buddy piss in a condom. Tie the condom shut, and let it sit in your crotch for a couple hours before the test and keep it there. This way its realistic body temperature. Say that you cant urinate in front of other people and need to be alone. This is a very common condition actually, and perfectly belivable. Have the piss condom in a place you can whip it out like your shlong though just in case. Otherwise go to gnc and get one of those detox pills, but i dunno if thated work.

[Acouwaila]

thanks ill try that condom thing

[partyguy420]

just drink lots of water. it works better then the condom. drink like atleast 20oz of water a few hours befor the test, and then drink like 20ozs of water and hour until your test, and piss alot...

[Professor Dan K.]

eat one of those plastic tubes of food preservatives. they taste like ass but they actually work, one of my friends did it to pass a drug test from his parents.

[Pipe Dreams]

Start drinking an assload of water, and take some niacin man.

[ToDrunkToFish]

Yea Niacin I hear that works really well for some reason. Though I have never tried.

[Shrapnel]

Niacin actually burns the thc out of your system. Just make sure to piss a lot before you take the test. My friend made the mistake of not pissing enough so instead of pissing clean piss, he pissed out all the thc that was burned. Let's just say for the level of thc that came up, he would have had to have smoked about an ounce to himself in the past couple days. Wow damn I forgot to make this post and I just left this box thinking I had already posted.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

dont eat. drink mad water all the time, do some pushups, and drink energy drinks up until 45min-1hr before the test, then take some multivitamins and keep drinking water.

[Captin]

stick your dick in a cup of bleach...

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

stick your dick in a cup of bleach...

Mix it with ammonia first.

[partyguy420]

dude... i rember some one saying to put your dick in a cup of bleach... to pass a ua... and funny story... ithink i told them to put ammonia in it first... and then some one said that i had been studing to much about hitler and called me a nazi... so Ol Schwaggy Bastard quit studing about hitler so much you damn nazi...

[TheGreenFog]

Unfortunately, I would advise against every single one of those remedies except for the substituted urine. That is the ONLY way you will guarantee success for an important thing like this. Anything else, you will be risking it BIGTIME.

Just because one thing worked for one person one time, doesnt mean it will work for you. Factors include weight (fat%), length and frequency of smoking, metabolism, etc. Don't count on it. Just focus all your energy on finding a friend who can piss clean! That's a task in itself. Go get that job! Contribute to society, ya damn pot smoker, you! LOL. :D



stick your dick in a cup of bleach...

Oh, yea and don't forget to do this before you use the condom method. It's imperative.




Bahahahahaha...hilarious.


TGF

Edit: So, I guess I posted this a little too late. Oh well, so how'd your test go? Did you get the job??

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

dude... i rember some one saying to put your dick in a cup of bleach... to pass a ua... and funny story... ithink i told them to put ammonia in it first... and then some one said that i had been studing to much about hitler and called me a nazi... so Ol Schwaggy Bastard quit studing about hitler so much you damn nazi...

that's funny, hitler didn't even pop into my head. I was thinking more Child Called It.
Don't put your dick in anything but pussy...or ass if that's what you're into. If you wanna use bleach put that shit in a visine bottle and hide it in your taint.

[Nochowderforyou]

Companies piss test employees for a cleaning position? Damn! America blows. :p

[Acouwaila]

Yeah she is supposed to call me sometime today and im hoping she doesnt say something like "k just drop by for a drug test real fast"

but ive been drinking lots of waters n what not so hopefully ill pass...

i think ima try the condom thing

[MastaChronic]

eat 1500 mg of niacin dude make sure its not the unflushed kind, it might make your body feel like its on fire and turn you red, but you'll be clean

[Acouwaila]

im broke = ( hence why im gettin the job

[SiXFeEtDeEp]

that's funny, hitler didn't even pop into my head. I was thinking more Child Called It.
Don't put your dick in anything but pussy...or ass if that's what you're into. If you wanna use bleach put that shit in a visine bottle and hide it in your taint.
Good fucking book Ol. have you read the other 2? I meet David Pelz. (can't spell his last name right) at a motivational speak party during school. awsome guy.

First off im sure its not your ONLY chance for a job. second i heard of someone famining (not eating for a month just drinking water) or in your case a day. so what i would suggest is when this lady calls. tell here today an"t goin to work. make up some shit like you have to take your dad to the heart doctor or somthing. then go buy yourself 5-6 Gallons of water. Don't eat ANYTING until the test. Excurcise and Drink water as much as possable. and you should be fine. i smoke 5-6 joints a day for the past 10+ years. and just last year had to drop and passed doin this. i find Not eating,Lots of water,Lots of Excurcise is the key. you gotta flush ALL the nasty shit out of your system and if you eat that just helps keep the nasty shit in ya.

if they do a hair test. stay away from pot for at least a week that means your pot smokeing buddies too. and go buy the detox shampoo. i used that a like 4-5 years ago and passed. the key is to use Vinager instead of water. and to stay away from pot completly for at least 3-4 days.

[Ol Schwaggy Bastard]

Good fucking book Ol. have you read the other 2? I meet David Pelz. (can't spell his last name right) at a motivational speak party during school. awsome guy.


Yeah, lost boy and a man named dave. I didn't like A Man Named Dave, that shit was boring, but the first two were good.

[pwnydanzasmokesdank]

just drink lots of water. it works better then the condom. drink like atleast 20oz of water a few hours befor the test, and then drink like 20ozs of water and hour until your test, and piss alot...

lol if your going to try and dilute your DEFINITELY gonna want to drink more than 40oz of water... i dont know wtf partyguy is talking about. i drank like 9.5 LITERS that morning with a detox after being clean for a week and barely passed. when i say barely i mean the 10 panel test showed a fainter line for thc. so yeah i passed but they could tell/thought i had smoked in the past 3-4 weeks when it had really been 7 days. point being drink 2+ gallons of water to substitute imo. :)

[Punihehe]

i work in coal mines in new zealand with my dad iv been drug tested twice since iv been me and my dad just get our little brother to pee in a boroca tube and slide it in ur undies close to ur legs for an hour or 2 before the test to keep it warm. iv passed twice easy as, the first time the guy stood behind me i was like " can i have some privacy here dude" and he left the room. all good mate just use somone who is cleans pee. :)

[howie66]

At my job we get drug tested and ive never heard of anybody ever passing through anyway. only smoke weekends, and dont smoke a great deal, drink water is all i can say. If it were me, i would be tokin on a joint and looking in the newspaper for another job.

[op peat]

Substatution works best, whether from synthetic or from a clean donor.

op peat

[Cassiopiea]

If she says can u come over soon, say something like can u make it a few days, my dad is in hospital or ne of my friends is in hospital and i have to see them. Just make an excuse for a couple of days.

[FakeBoobsRule]

I have seen some of the worst advice to pass a test in this thread. Niacin doesn't work. The bleach and amonia ideas are horrible too.