Fucking Interviewers.

[Cassiopiea]

Fuck me, i have just got back from a job interview with Roach foods, a meat packing factory in the town where I live. I encountered the world's most bitchy and whorish interviewer ever. Jackie Shears.

I sat down, in her dingy suicidal office and she started asking me general questions and being very pleasant. Then she got out my CV and took one look at my grades and my previous experience and changed completely. I acheived straight A's at GCSE and straight B's at A-Level (the equivalent of high school) and I have never been employed previously. the second she saw my grades she said "Oh I dont think we have any vacancies for THAT. What kind of job were you looking for?" To which I responded "I filled it in saying all posistions considered, perhaps something on the production line". She actually laughed at me and said "You in the production line? You dont have any previous experience."

I was just dumbfounded I mean I know that. After about five minutes of her insulting me and telling me that i would work very slowly and poorly as I had never done anything like this before ahe suddenly changed the subject.

She asked me if I would be willing to work (voluntary, which she didnt add) overtime I said, "yes most weekends" . She got pissed off at that and said "You will HAVE to work all weekends, I mean, what would you rather do?" i said, "Well, I would like to perhaps see my friends" which was obviously met by a mocking cackle. Then she said "Will you work Bank Holidays?" I sadis, "Yes, most bank holidays, barring unforseen circumstances, haha." She wasnt amused by this and said "You will HAVE to work ALL bank holidays, the superviser will say that you work the bank holiday as normal".

Now this is against your human rights in Britain and she also mutterred later that any bank holidays are optional holidays. After this sh went back to a few more minutes of making fun of me, and the entire time I was sitting there and I coldnt actually beleive she was being such a bitch, telling me how i didnt like working, how I cant keep up with other people and how lazty I am. One of the shifts started early in the morning and she said "are you any good at getting up, im not guessing so" To whoch I responded, "Actually I have been getting up at six o'clock every weekday for the past two years going to college so i am good at getting up in the mornings thank you.".

Anyway, long story short the whore ended up giving me a fully paid four week trial!!! Little does that cow realise that was all I intended to work for anyway, making 250 quid a week sounds like one fuck of a alot of green to me.

Lol, although I did deserve a bit of it because she said to me at trhe end, I will need a urine sample for you to wpkr here, I said "Uuum, what does that test?" And she suddenly looked at me very suspiciously and said "Salmonella".

What a whore, fuck im glad one o my mates gave me a coule of chronic packed J's at the weekend, fuck I cant beleive im still dry.

Anyone else got any entertaining work/interview storys?

[smokey]

i went for a job at a double glazing place once the guy sounded very interested then he took one look at my grades n sai this job is not for u, u r too OVER qualified for the job we r looking for someone whos a bit of a dummy,all u had to do was load sheets of glass on to a set of rollers, i was like what how can i be over qualified and i want the job for the money not job satisfaction. he still wouldnt give me it fucker lol

[Cassiopiea]

Yeah, i know, dickheaded isnt it?

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

Holy shit.

I think the interviewer was being cunty because she felt threatened by you.

Test for salmonella?? Is she serious? Also... ROACH foods. Why, oh why would they name it that?

:stoned:

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

Btw, I thorougly enjoyed that story Cassiopiea! :)

[Cassiopiea]

Btw, I thorougly enjoyed that story Cassiopiea! :)

Thank you, I try to entertain.

Seriously guys cheers for the sympathy, I canot wait until my rents are i bed so I can toke up and eat the Pick 'n mix I ust bought :) Peace out.

[Nochowderforyou]

That was a good story.

I've run into a few dinks in my time as well. They're just so miserable in their own useless lives, that they feel threatened by people who are more successful in education. It's her own problem and I wouldn't take it personal. Monday morning can bring the ugly out in some people.

I once went for a job interview that I applied for, and in the paper it just said, "Warehouse Position." When I went for the interview, she started asking me questions about my telephone exp. and my comp. exp.. I don't have any work related exp. in either of those fields, and towards the end of the interview, after me saying, no I don't have exp. in that, or this, she was rubbing her forehead, sighing, and nodding her head. I wanted to smack the ugly right out of that bitch! :p

I know how you feel. Makes you feel like shit, but like I said, don't take it personal. :thumbsup:

[friendowl]

i went for an interview at the police station
for 911 operator
before i went in [ i got there real early]
i smoked a bowl
thinking it would wear off in a bit
hell no
i was lit

i handled the interview good
but i think they knew i was high

[LIP]

Wow, shes a slag. I wasnt really interviwed for my job, the family who own the boatyard i manage have known my parents for years and years. They knew me before i knew myself rofl.

Nice boatyard it is too, fecking big.

[Ignatius]

There's a simple way to make yourself feel better in this situation. If you work on a production line it's pretty easy to find a way of bringing the machine to a halt. If the machine stops everything stops. When that happens make sure to stand around with your hands in your pockets looking as dumb as you can. It irritates the fuck out of people. This is a point scored in your favour. When you are told something and asked if you understand say "I think so" then repeat back what you've just been told, but with one or two slight alterations. Again, this will irritate the fuck out of the person in charge, another point to you. Make sure you are on time for work, and never leave early, don't give them an excuse to sack you. The idea is to make them wish they'd never employed you. When asked to do overtime tell them you can't be certain but you are almost 100% sure it won't be a problem. Tell them the day before that you couldn't do it after all. This will normally mean bringing in someone from an agency at high cost, again, a point to you. During mealbreaks talk often and volubly about your plans for the future. people in these kind of shitty jobs resent anyone having ideas. If you do it right you can normally get yourself so hated you'll be left alone. This is what you want, you have sabotage to carry out, it's best if no one is watching. When people discuss TV shows pretend you don't have a TV. That will mark you as an intellectual, also resented. Most of all, keep your head high and don't let it get you down.

Good luck ;)

[benagain]

None here. I applied for a position as a CSR/Sales Rep once and was told I'd be selling kirby vacuums.
I left.

[Cassiopiea]

There's a simple way to make yourself feel better in this situation. If you work on a production line it's pretty easy to find a way of bringing the machine to a halt. If the machine stops everything stops. When that happens make sure to stand around with your hands in your pockets looking as dumb as you can. It irritates the fuck out of people. This is a point scored in your favour. When you are told something and asked if you understand say "I think so" then repeat back what you've just been told, but with one or two slight alterations. Again, this will irritate the fuck out of the person in charge, another point to you. Make sure you are on time for work, and never leave early, don't give them an excuse to sack you. The idea is to make them wish they'd never employed you. When asked to do overtime tell them you can't be certain but you are almost 100% sure it won't be a problem. Tell them the day before that you couldn't do it after all. This will normally mean bringing in someone from an agency at high cost, again, a point to you. During mealbreaks talk often and volubly about your plans for the future. people in these kind of shitty jobs resent anyone having ideas. If you do it right you can normally get yourself so hated you'll be left alone. This is what you want, you have sabotage to carry out, it's best if no one is watching. When people discuss TV shows pretend you don't have a TV. That will mark you as an intellectual, also resented. Most of all, keep your head high and don't let it get you down.

Good luck ;)


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA man you are kick ass!!!! Seriously guys, MaryjaneInTheCloset, nochowderforyou and Ignatius yu guys have cheered me up.

I actually got a month long "trial period" in which I intend to be a model employee, then when that bitch comes back to me grovelling for my services ill tell her, incredibly politely, to stick it up her ass. Im on a gao year and I want to get enough money so I dont have to work for a month and then ill get a cooler job.

[Cassiopiea]

Man, ive just had a big fat steak, now im sitting down to watch the wedding crashers and eat a fuckoff ig bag of pick n mix. Oh and theres something else.....what was it? Uuuum.....oh yeah. Get fucked up. See you in a few hours guys.

[birdgirl73]

Hey, Cassiopiea. I'm getting to this story late in the American day because I'm at school all day these days. I loved that story! What a slag indeed. I can't believe how appalllingly rude she was. Glad you got the four-week paid gig.

Cassiopiea, what's Pick N Mix? I've been to England a lot. Even lived there briefly. But I don't know Pick N Mix. It sounds like a snack food. Which means I need to know about it. Badly.

[Gothen]

It sounds like a snack food. Which means I need to know about it. Badly.

haha! That cracked me up coupled with Cassiopiea's story.

The only interview story I have is that I was getting this shitty job at Hardee's (Carl Jr's for those of you around the states) and one of the questions he asked me was if I drove and could always be at work on time. I said, yeah, I drove and that I could always be at work on time.

Well, when my friend came and picked me up, haha, his Blazer died in the parking lot and the dude came out and asked me what was going on. I said, "Oh, my friend just broke my car! Not a big deal! I'll still be able to get to work on time, I promise!"

I got the job, found out the dude was a total stoner and he already knew that I didn't have a license before he even called me in for the interview because I'm well known around my town, I guess?

It was pretty cool, though, going outside to smoke a joint of some dro with this dude the second day I worked. =)

[napolitana869]

one reason people for jobs like that dont like getting people with good grades is because its harder to keep them run down and willing to stay in a job like that.

[wayoftheleaf]

Went through an hour of waiting and about a 45 minute interview at Kroger just to have the lady say *im sorry we are looking for someone a bit older*


im fucking fifteen and more mature than the idiots have there.
They enjoy trying to run up walls and falling on their asses.

[Gothen]

Went through an hour of waiting and about a 45 minute interview at Kroger just to have the lady say *im sorry we are looking for someone a bit older*


im fucking fifteen and more mature than the idiots have there.
They enjoy trying to run up walls and falling on their asses.

Don't worry about that, man. The only reason why they want someone a bit more older isn't just about maturity issues, I'm sure. Even if you hold yourself better than the rest of the guys, sometimes it has to do with child labor laws. Even if that isn't the case, I've found it's always hard for younger people to get a job. I was 15 when I got my first job at McDonald's, but the only way I got it was that I

A) had to lie about my age
B) my best friend's mom was a manager, so she smoothed it over a bit for me.

[Cassiopiea]

Cassiopiea, what's Pick N Mix? I've been to England a lot. Even lived there briefly. But I don't know Pick N Mix. It sounds like a snack food. Which means I need to know about it. Badly.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!


Pick N' Mix is the greatest sweet known to man, You have loads of different buckets of sweets to choose from, from gummy worms to fizzy cola bottles and from bits of honeycomb to white mice and chocolate raisins, and for three pounds from my ocal Woolworths or choices (a video rental place) you can fill up a cup about the size of a large mcDonalds cup with as many sweets as you want. Some sucky plaes charge you extortionate amounts based on weight but they can lick my rim.

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

Some sucky plaes charge you extortionate amounts based on weight but they can lick my rim.

Hahahaa, quote of the day for sure! :)

[Cassiopiea]

Hahahaa, quote of the day for sure! :)

i try to be eloquent at all times.

[birdgirl73]

OH MY GOD!!!!!!


Pick N' Mix is the greatest sweet known to man, You have loads of different buckets of sweets to choose from, from gummy worms to fizzy cola bottles and from bits of honeycomb to white mice and chocolate raisins, and for three pounds from my ocal Woolworths or choices (a video rental place) you can fill up a cup about the size of a large mcDonalds cup with as many sweets as you want. Some sucky plaes charge you extortionate amounts based on weight but they can lick my rim.
It's assorted candy!! I'm all for that. We have that, too, over here in sweet shops or grocery stores, only they don't necessarily call it Pick N Mix. Just an assorted candy mix.

I'm actually more of a salty/savory type person. So when I saw Pick N Mix, i was imagining something like our Chex Mix, which is salty, crunchy and lightly greasy. Mmmmm. Thanks for the definition!

[Cassiopiea]

Me too normally, there is nothing that solves the munchies more easily than a bag of crisps or pretzels, mmmmmmmmm. Its just I was severely craving the sweet treats at the time of typing.