younger brother won't talk to me

[allsmiles]

Hey guys, I'm hoping someone will have some insight for me.

About a year ago my mom found some weed in my brother's room - he was 15 at the time. she freaked out and called me. I came over and we sort of had a family meeting with my brother, my parents and me. I am 13 years older than my brother and we used to be super close. Ever since he has been very angry with all us of us and won't talk to me anymore. I know he feels betrayed by me but I felt if I got everything out in the open, we would be able to deal with the situation better. I smoke occasionally myself and I am not aposed to my brother doing so. - some back ground info. My brother pretty much does what he wants- he comes and goes as he pleases, my parents never know when he'll be staying out for the night or with whom he'll be hanging out with- he doesn't do his school work - that's what his teachers say and has disrupted classes. My brother is a good kid and has a lot of potential. I need some help in getting through to him- he is now a senior in high school and may not be graduating with his class. what do I do ? help.

[sweetnhighz]

take him downtown and let him meet some bums and tell him if he dont get his shyt straight he will be one of them or the fukers that go to jail, ya gotta scare him straight to doing good in school, but man.....i hate it when WEED fuks up relationships, ITS JUST A FUKN HERB PEOPLE!!!! they prolly wouldnt care if he smoked just ciggies eH? and thats worse than pot will ever be same with alcohol, argh! cant ya tell my mood is being pissd off?

[make it legal]

take him downtown and let him meet some bums and tell him if he dont get his shyt straight he will be one of them or the fukers that go to jail, ya gotta scare him straight to doing good in school, but man.....i hate it when WEED fuks up relationships, ITS JUST A FUKN HERB PEOPLE!!!! they prolly wouldnt care if he smoked just ciggies eH? and thats worse than pot will ever be same with alcohol, argh! cant ya tell my mood is being pissd off?

It's true. My Dad is always pissed at me for smoking but probably wouldnt give a shit if i was drinking...I can never understand that...

[Professor Dan K.]

people who get pissed at smoking but not drinking are mostly upset because its the illegal factor. Alcohol will be legal when your 21 so if you do it a little bit before then, ohh well hes just being a teen right? but weed on the other hand peopleg et pissed about.... i digress

Man, i have friends who are in the same situation as your brother, if he was my brother, id be cool with him smoking but i would tell him that he should at least do his schoolwork, it only helps in the future. Just do your school work and get good/decent grades then people wont really care "as much" if and when you get caught.... unless your parents are nazis, then i good luck.

[DylanN89]

Wow... after reading that it made me think of myself...im 17 and as ur brother is a Senior in highschool. I think that it sounds as if i just read a post about my life... I make good grades almost straight As at the moment but, have very bad relationship with my parents over cannabis, which quite actually is soo damn ridicolous.... My dad rather me smoke pot than ciggerattes hes straight up told me that but the fact its illegal makes it no better i guess. sometimes its really hard to get threw to people... Maybe even just letting him fuck up well really give him a reality check. Fortunally ive never fucked up but came awfully damn close about 2 days ago. Police been watching me saying that im dealing drugs and waht not but thats soo not fucking true. And im "marked" now i dont understand it.. All i do is smoke occasionlly with friends..... Anyway i know exactly waht ur talking about tell him that ur not upset with him u just want him to keep FOCUSED on the right things in life... like COLLEGE. :thumbsup: :D

[dryst]

blaze a bowl with him :p

[Big Haze]

Hey guys, I'm hoping someone will have some insight for me.

About a year ago my mom found some weed in my brother's room - he was 15 at the time. she freaked out and called me. I came over and we sort of had a family meeting with my brother, my parents and me. I am 13 years older than my brother and we used to be super close. Ever since he has been very angry with all us of us and won't talk to me anymore. I know he feels betrayed by me but I felt if I got everything out in the open, we would be able to deal with the situation better. I smoke occasionally myself and I am not aposed to my brother doing so. - some back ground info. My brother pretty much does what he wants- he comes and goes as he pleases, my parents never know when he'll be staying out for the night or with whom he'll be hanging out with- he doesn't do his school work - that's what his teachers say and has disrupted classes. My brother is a good kid and has a lot of potential. I need some help in getting through to him- he is now a senior in high school and may not be graduating with his class. what do I do ? help.

i was just like your bro a couple of years ago. i went to school, but never stayed long enough to do anything. but then after stayin at this hotel party for a good 3 days, doing nothin but getting high 24/7. i checked the messages on my phone, all from my parents. they had actually reported me missin lol. when i got home they gave me hell for about a week and i realized they actually do care. i guess my point is, he jus needs to realize that you and your parents did what you all thought was best...wether or not he's realized that idk. maybe you should try talkin with him, and jus say what you feel. honestly, school is the most important thing. it will help him go further in life. but at the same time...it is his life to do what he wants with...although hes young.

[Frivolous248]

Go blaze a bowl with him, then leave him on the street in the middle of no where with no cell phone or nothin', pick him up an hour later and tell him thats what he'll be doin' every day if he can't even get a high school diploma to get a job just to afford a shitty apartment, if hes lucky.

[Cooler Then Jesus]

your brother sounds a lot like me, lol. my brother sounds alot like you! but he is 21, i am 15. if i were you, i would just be real nice to him about it, maybe go pick him up, smoke with him, and explain to him your situation and what your advice is. go in his room, show him the bag, take him for A ride in the car, get blazed, go to arcade, w/e is fun, concert, i dont know. but yeah, show him bro loves him! (but will still kick his ass if hes got it coming =P)

[allsmiles]

Thanks everyone, I will try talking to him again. :)

[orangeman]

Shit I wish I was a senior. I'm stressed out just wondering if i'll make it.

[Big Calhoun]

There really is nothing that you can do outside of ask him what the issue is. I had a similar circumstance in that my brother and I didn't communicate much when growing up. We're on much better terms no, but I never got any type of explanation or reason. If you ask him and he isn't forthcoming, the only thing you can do is let him work 'whatever' out of his system.

[napolitana869]

spend some time with him alone, maybe smoke with him so he knows youre on his side, and just talk to him. just having a close relationship with a good role model can really change someones life. maybe thats what he needs

[birdgirl73]

Big Cal's right (as usual). Ask him what's up. Don't do it in a confrontational, face-to-face meeting kind of way. Be working alongside him on some task like cooking or sorting through a box or something. Ask him that way. But mostly just try and get him talking, and you can sometimes do that by telling him what things were like for you during a rough time. Young men have a very different communicating style from us girls, and face-to-face questions and talks can be unsettling.

My hunch is that he probably doesn't even know himself what's bothering him. He just knows that he's not happy with himself or his situation at home, especially if he's being ridden hard about stuff. And he's acting out on that by sort of passively not doing what he needs to be doing. It's an easy loop for young guys to fall into, and it can stick if families aren't careful.

Here's a tip for both you and your parents: Give him positive strokes. Focus on the positive and not the negative. Approve of him, hard as that may be. Do something special for him. Take some time where you take worries and disapproval totally off the table--don't even play it. The secret to successful boy-raising (and for that matter, husband-raising, too) is to love, love, love at every opportunity and not to criticize unless it's a matter of life or death. They thrive in an environment like that.

[alexisonfire xo]

Get really high together. Then you can think of a great idea.

[lemonboy]

Protecting children from their mistakes only keeps them from learning how to handle them. Sometime the best thing you can do is fail. Of course, as family you should be there to help pick up the pieces. That responsibility never goes away.

[NightProwler]

Hey guys, I'm hoping someone will have some insight for me.

About a year ago my mom found some weed in my brother's room - he was 15 at the time. she freaked out and called me. I came over and we sort of had a family meeting with my brother, my parents and me. I am 13 years older than my brother and we used to be super close. Ever since he has been very angry with all us of us and won't talk to me anymore. I know he feels betrayed by me but I felt if I got everything out in the open, we would be able to deal with the situation better. I smoke occasionally myself and I am not aposed to my brother doing so. - some back ground info. My brother pretty much does what he wants- he comes and goes as he pleases, my parents never know when he'll be staying out for the night or with whom he'll be hanging out with- he doesn't do his school work - that's what his teachers say and has disrupted classes. My brother is a good kid and has a lot of potential. I need some help in getting through to him- he is now a senior in high school and may not be graduating with his class. what do I do ? help.

dude at first, that sounded so much like the situationm i was in, i though you were my older brother at first lol.
almost exactly a year ago,when i was 14, my mom found a resin covered toothpick in the bottom of my trashcan (yes, she was that suspicious...) anyways, my older brother got his nose way too far up my ass (metaphorically) about it, and i ended up kind of not wanting to talk to him. long before, he had found out i smoked and he threatened to tell my parents unless i did anything he wanted from now on(blackmailing me.. my older brother blackmailing me. pretty fuckin cold-hearted and immature if you ask me) but i refused to obey the fucker and he just never had theballs to follow through with his plan. so my anger towards him really started there. its a much much muuchhh bigger story than that, but thats the bassics.

i really doubt you did anything of the sort to your younger brother. but coming from someone who was at least sort of in the same situation, he's just pissed off that people are making a deal out of it. i know i was. i wanted everyone to cool the fuck down and stop worrying about me. maybe if you let him know you dont give a shit, and offfer to smoke a bowl with him, things will start to come together
sorry if my help wasnt help.. but thats the best i can do for ya