I hate Christmas

[RESiNATE]

Just had a row with the ex-wife over what to do with the children over christmas.
She wants me to go to her house in the morning, so that I can be there when the kids open their presents. She cannot seem to understand why this makes me feel uncomfortable.
Aside from the fact that she has a 'lodger' there, I just don't want to play 'happy families' (a nasty expression ,but one that fits).
She is sooo insensitive - only the other day, she sent me a text wishingme a happy anniversary!
Then, when she came to pick the kids up this weekend, she had said 'lodger' in the car with her.

Now, I don't really care if she wants to shack up with this character, but |I don't appreciate her shoving that kinda thing in my face - something that she is very adept at. And she can't see why I have a problem with it.

Am I being stupid?
Am I making something out of nothing?

I tried to be diplomatic about it, but she pushed the issue, and it turned into a row.
All I wanna do is get on with my pathetic little lonely life, care for my kids as best I can, and be there for them. But she makes an already difficult life, more unbearable.
It's like, take a hint, init!
I feel very uncomfortable around her, because I don't even want to talk to her at all, but I have to becasue of the kids. I also have to keep my sarcastic tongue in check around the kids, because I don't want to make this any more difficult for them. It's bad enough that my eldest (he's 6) keeps asking me why I don'tlive with them anymore. I've tried explaining it to them both (and I would never bad-mouth theur mother in front of them) that it was for the best, but they always ask - evry weekend...

I hate christmas.

[tufguy5150]

Just be a dad to the youngsters and the rest will take care of itself....it sounds like your not to far into the divorce,split-up thing....kill em with kindness.....also Ive learned from previous experience....she might look like she is moving on (with the new beau and all) but women are loaded with all kind of psychological warfare..lol..I think she knows she is making you miserable...just dont show it

[RESiNATE]

I try ,Tufguy, I really do - and I am MR Diplomacy..but, even Spock got mad once, didn't he? lol

[Lulu]

Just had a row with the ex-wife over what to do with the children over christmas.
She wants me to go to her house in the morning, so that I can be there when the kids open their presents. She cannot seem to understand why this makes me feel uncomfortable.
Aside from the fact that she has a 'lodger' there, I just don't want to play 'happy families' (a nasty expression ,but one that fits).
She is sooo insensitive - only the other day, she sent me a text wishingme a happy anniversary!
Then, when she came to pick the kids up this weekend, she had said 'lodger' in the car with her.

Now, I don't really care if she wants to shack up with this character, but |I don't appreciate her shoving that kinda thing in my face - something that she is very adept at. And she can't see why I have a problem with it.

Am I being stupid?
Am I making something out of nothing?

I tried to be diplomatic about it, but she pushed the issue, and it turned into a row.
All I wanna do is get on with my pathetic little lonely life, care for my kids as best I can, and be there for them. But she makes an already difficult life, more unbearable.
It's like, take a hint, init!
I feel very uncomfortable around her, because I don't even want to talk to her at all, but I have to becasue of the kids. I also have to keep my sarcastic tongue in check around the kids, because I don't want to make this any more difficult for them. It's bad enough that my eldest (he's 6) keeps asking me why I don'tlive with them anymore. I've tried explaining it to them both (and I would never bad-mouth theur mother in front of them) that it was for the best, but they always ask - evry weekend...

I hate christmas.
Yes I can understand where you're coming from but it's like this;

She's getting on with her life (insensitively? maybe, how long you seperated?)
If this 'lodger' is gonna be in the picture for the foreseeable future, you're gonna have to get used to it sooner or later...
If you can't bear to go there Christmas morning have your own celebration with them St.Stephen's morning/Boxing day ~ tell them Santa left stuff there too. Otherwise just go, grind your teeth to a fine powder in your head and smile, smile, smile :) Which do you think your kids would most enjoy?

At times life can be a big bowl of shit but Hey wotcha gonna do :rolleyes:

[RESiNATE]

Been separated for nearly two years now, Lulu.
And I said that I would have a separate chrimbo for the kids with me.
She just doesn't see my point of view that I don't want there to be conflicting messages to the kids.
She says that there is nothing between the 'lodger' and her, and to be totally honest, I don't care if there is (as long as the kids arent affected), but she has no guile. She doesn't think toherself, 'oh, I wonder if it would be a good idea to have matey tag along when I pick the kids up'...
I mean, if it were me, I wouldn't do that. Even if it meant asking the lady to wait around the cornwer for a few minutes, whilst I picked the kids up!
Maybe I'm being paedantic and stupid, but I just like to think thsat I have a little more nouse about me than that!

Sorry, I'm just really dark today, it's nearing a full-moon, and for the umptenth time, it seems to be a dark-moon cycle. I am always affected by the moon (being a moon-child, and all), but usually the moon affects me in a good way...lately, it has been dark.

And now I've got to go to work, which is really jarring me off, as I've been up since 10am, and won't be finished work til 12noon tomorrow, which gives me about an hour before I have the kids for the weekend...long day ahead+dark mood=narky Res lol
And, I gotta transport chickens to their death, which fills me with such joy...NOT
Poor little fuckers will be crammed into tiny boxes, with no room to cluck, let alone spread their wings, in the freezing cold...poor fuckers.
I've never done this job before, and who knows...I may let them have their freedom lol...the mood I'm in, I just might.

[Lulu]

Aww Res :( It does sound awful
It's a bit away, put it outta your head for the minute and tell her you've not decided what your Christmas plans are yet, that you'll let her know :D

On a lighter note.....................





















FREE THE CHICKENS!!!!!!!!

[RESiNATE]

lmao@u Lulu...yay..I might rig up some kind of screen on the back of the trailor, and screen "Chicken Run" for them...give them some inspiration!! lol

I should get paid quite well, but I aint gonna count my chickens...mwhahahaha

(I know it was cheep, but I had to use that gag lol)

cheep! lol
Damn, I'm so funny, init!

[Lulu]

lmao@u Lulu...yay..I might rig up some kind of screen on the back of the trailor, and screen "Chicken Run" for them...give them some inspiration!! lol

I should get paid quite well, but I aint gonna count my chickens...mwhahahaha

(I know it was cheep, but I had to use that gag lol)

cheep! lol
Damn, I'm so funny, init!
I'm sooooooooooo stoned and sooo laughing myself sick~lol~ :D

[Proof]

hey man i feel for u. i have a mate and his parents split up a long time ago.he finds it hard who to pick to go to there house for christmas and stuff, he always picks his dad cause he cares for him and gets him anything he asks for jammy bugga lol maybe if u tryed this with ur kids like be really nice to them and stuff ah well me talking shite maybe. Personaly i cant wait for christmas going snowboarding and spending it with my gf :D!!!!

[RESiNATE]

lol...is your avatar a picture of the road to Tipparary?
It's a long one...

I just thought..I wonder if the chickens will view me as their grim reaper!
Shit, what a thought!
I'll have to apologise to each and every one of them.
I don't care what humans do to each other (well, the adults, at least), but poor animals!

Maybe I should wear an animal rights t-shirt to this gig, that'll get 'em worried mwhahaha...
"Errr, you won't let them go, will you, Res?"
"What me?...nah.......I'm a professional.....but who knows what might happen once I'm on the road....there is a full-moon coming....bwhahahahahaha"

Did you know that pigs and elephants have been proven to have a sense of their own mortality?
That's why the pigs start screaming before they enter the abbortior(sp?)

[RESiNATE]

Proof, I would never try to buy my kids' love - in fact, I am stricter with them than their mother...firm but fair
(I know you weren't implying anything :) )
I think their mother does enough of that.
Yeah, it's tough for them, but I have always been truthful with them (as much as I can with their understandingof such things)....but yeah, it's tough.

Anyways, I gotta go be the bringer of death..grr...and have a 1 and half hour drive before I even get into the death machine, so I'll catch ya all tomorrow....unless I've been banged up in jail for loosing a few thousand chickens on the M5!

Laters, you lot...thanks for trying to help me in my darkness
:)

Res...

[Lulu]

Have a good one Res :)
And don't forget to tell Chicken licken Bu bye :(

There's a place called Kepac on the way to Dublin
Trailer loads of animals go in one gate...
Big Al's Lorries come out the other
And you can hear them scream *shudders :eek:

I'm veggie btw :o

[Bro DZ]

Res, i feel ya man. I'm a product of a divorced family... so sad, i know =oP

anyhow, perhaps you should do stuff to vent your frustration. Go to the gym, practise boxing or wrestling, chop wood. I'm thinking physical activity would do you a world of good.

anyways man, if ya ever want to beat the crap outta that dude, lemme know! hehehehe maybe I'll cruise out your way and we can smoke a few blunts and stomp some one LoL :p

and shit man, why can't you have your kids over at your pad for christmas? will u have em next year atleast? :confused:

[Imotep]

i hate christmas too.
jesus would be mortified if he wasnt already dead.

[Day Dreamin Faze]

My parents divorced when i was at a young age prob 6-7 years ago..Every year I wake up at my moms house (i live with her most of the time) do the present thing,then go to my grandparents house for family breakfast,presents and xmas morning stuff..Then that night i would go to my dads and santa would have dropped some presents there for me and my 3 siblings. Never did my dad come to my moms house xmas morning for presents and i was 7-8 at the time and i still had a wonderful christmas but maybe i understood divorce at a early age and just enjoyed christmas and gave thanks to my family and freinds. GOSH DOES ANYONE STAY MARRIED ANYMORE?...Good luck to you and your family, and do whats best for you and your kids.

[RESiNATE]

Res, i feel ya man.
anyways man, if ya ever want to beat the crap outta that dude, lemme know! hehehehe maybe I'll cruise out your way and we can smoke a few blunts and stomp some one LoL :p

and shit man, why can't you have your kids over at your pad for christmas? will u have em next year atleast? :confused:

Cheers Bro, but you'll have to hit him - 'cos if I do, then I'll be banged up for GBH with intent - because I am versed in various martial arts, and have had to hold a licence to that effect...I'd be in seeerious do-do lol

Unless we can be sneaky mwhahahaha

Yeah, something will be sorted out, no doubt - kids will have a better chance of some chrimbo dinner, if they're with their mother lol. Next year, I'l be calling the shots, it's just that right now, I'm am struggling financially, so am happy as long as the kids are happy. It'll be cool :)
I am lucky enough to have unrestricted access (I know that some dads don't have that luxury), and for that I am gratefull - swings and roundabouts, as they say.

[maryjanemama]

#1. The "lodger" needs to spend Christmas with his own family.

#2. Christmas is 2 fucking monthes away, so I think she's just trying to be a pain in the ass making plans so soon.

#3. Christmas is on the weekend this year, so it possible they will be with you on Christmas morning, anyway?

#4. If it weren't for the fact that your kids would be there, I'd say take a female friend with you! And say, "Oh, there's nothing going on between us...." Give her a taste of her own medicine. Unfortunately, this would probably confuse your children too much.

#5. Even though it's been 2 years, it seems like the wound is still pretty raw. (I can see the blood seeping through the bandage!) Chin up, Res, it will get better! You're kids will get older and start to understand things more. Besides that, we love you!!! :D

[Bro DZ]

yeah man, keep it real! And since your a martial artist of sorts, do some freakin exercize!!!! I bet you will get happier quicker if ya exercize a grip. Exercizing realises endorphines and stuff into your blood, forcing you to feel happy LoL

(and dude, Res, we can be real sneaky! I''ve got a night vision camera, black duds, plenty of gloves LoL, morphine to keep him from screamin from the pain and everything... it would be some good fun for sure ;) )

[maryjanemama]

(and dude, Res, we can be real sneaky! I''ve got a night vision camera, black duds, plenty of gloves LoL, morphine to keep him from screamin from the pain and everything... it would be some good fun for sure ;) )
Hahaha! I was going to suggest something like that, too, but I changed my mind. Res, maybe we can find a way so that the lodger won't be a "problem" anymore.

Kidding, of course! (Mary turns her back to sharpen her knife...)

[RESiNATE]

MJM,
#1...agreed lol
#2...very much realised lol
#3...err, I'll see them at some point for sure :)
#4...hmmm, a nice thought, but aint got a female lol
#5...my frustration at my lack of motivation is also a factor
but yeah...




(and dude, Res, we can be real sneaky! I''ve got a night vision camera, black duds, plenty of gloves LoL, morphine to keep him from screamin from the pain and everything... it would be some good fun for sure ;) )

I liked everything, except for the morphine bit...pain relief?!?...no, I don't think so...physical and mental torture would be high on the agenda (DarkRes talking here lol)...no, I think that a very remote warehouse would be a better option mwhahahahaha
;)

[RESiNATE]

Hahaha! I was going to suggest something like that, too, but I changed my mind. Res, maybe we can find a way so that the lodger won't be a "problem" anymore.

Kidding, of course! (Mary turns her back to sharpen her knife...)
Is that what your avatar is doing...sharpening knives!!! lol

lots of em bwahahahha

[Bro DZ]

holy sh*t LoL!

so thats what shes doin while she mesmerizes people with the skirt shakin =oP

mayhaps DarkRes can go out and find some hottie to bunk with over the weekend? Pimpin ain't easy... unless you got cha-ching up the yin-yang LoL

that would definetly make ya a happy camper for a few hours (atleast) :D

hell, you would get some excellent exercize if ya had a lady friend with benefits :D Peace

[RESiNATE]

lmao@cha-ching up the yin-yang
:D

Aye, I aint had none for a while, so yups...that'd give me an appetite ffs!!! WooHooooo

[koshea]

Just had a row with the ex-wife over what to do with the children over christmas.
She wants me to go to her house in the morning, so that I can be there when the kids open their presents. She cannot seem to understand why this makes me feel uncomfortable.
Aside from the fact that she has a 'lodger' there, I just don't want to play 'happy families' (a nasty expression ,but one that fits).
She is sooo insensitive - only the other day, she sent me a text wishingme a happy anniversary!
Then, when she came to pick the kids up this weekend, she had said 'lodger' in the car with her.

Now, I don't really care if she wants to shack up with this character, but |I don't appreciate her shoving that kinda thing in my face - something that she is very adept at. And she can't see why I have a problem with it.

Am I being stupid?
Am I making something out of nothing?

I tried to be diplomatic about it, but she pushed the issue, and it turned into a row.
All I wanna do is get on with my pathetic little lonely life, care for my kids as best I can, and be there for them. But she makes an already difficult life, more unbearable.
It's like, take a hint, init!
I feel very uncomfortable around her, because I don't even want to talk to her at all, but I have to becasue of the kids. I also have to keep my sarcastic tongue in check around the kids, because I don't want to make this any more difficult for them. It's bad enough that my eldest (he's 6) keeps asking me why I don'tlive with them anymore. I've tried explaining it to them both (and I would never bad-mouth theur mother in front of them) that it was for the best, but they always ask - evry weekend...

I hate christmas.


sorry if its already been said but why would your x wife text you saying happy anneversery? shes not over you, clearly...i duno the situation at all man but shes playing those extrogen mindgames.

[Darth Smoker]

if i were you i would just tell them i died, then go buy property in mexico, grow weed and retire, then spend the rest of my days happy and high (thats the same thing huh?)

or id kill myself.

[RESiNATE]

sorry if its already been said but why would your x wife text you saying happy anneversery? shes not over you, clearly...i duno the situation at all man but shes playing those extrogen mindgames.

I'm afraid that she is a bit twisted, Koshea -I could write an essay about the times that she has bad-mouthed me in front of my family and friends, or put me down, or hit me...I thought that I could change her ways, but I guess I was just being niave. Whether she is over me, or not, I don't care..but she fails to see what she is doing wrong - even her own brother has disowned her, and most of her family have little regard for her. I truly feel sorry for her, but what can ya do - some people are just made that way.
That said, the marriage was not all bad, we did have some fun along the way.
She probably thought that she was being humourous.

I'm sad that my marriage failed, and that I broke up the family unit (the last thing I ever wanted to do, coming from a broken marriage myself), but I have my limits as does everyone.

[maryjanemama]

I'm sad that my marriage failed, and that I broke up the family unit (the last thing I ever wanted to do, coming from a broken marriage myself), but I have my limits as does everyone.
Res, you are saving your kids from a disfunctional marriage and that is the best thing that you could do for them. If they grew up seeing their father abused day after day they would have a twisted idea about what marriage is all about. I believe you have done the right thing. You're kids are too young to understand everything now...but won't it be sweet when one day you're teenage son comes up to you and says, "Dad, mom's a crazy bitch, can I come live with you?" OK, maybe that wasn't worded right but you know what I mean. :p

I'd also keep my eye out to make sure she isn't abusing your kids, too. You don't want them to go what you went through.

[RESiNATE]

lol,MJM, you'd be surprised at how close you would be to the truth of it (re:'mom's a crazy bitch').
I'm always very careful about what I say about their mother, I don't want to alienate them from her, when in the end she will probably do that herself.
And I live for the day :)

That sounded really nasty, but they have three different styles of upbringing; my way, her way, and her family's way.
My way invovles teaching them about respect and compassion (grr I hate that word lol), whereas, her way seems to revolve around the total opposite, and her family...well

And, believe me, my eyes are so peeled for anything out-of-place (especially with this so-called 'lodger'), that it borders on paranoia...but I don't let the kids know, you know ;)

[GHoSToKeR]

Res you sound like you're a great dad.. Maybe not just yet, but one day your kids will see that, and like MJM said, how seet will it be when they say "dad, moms fucking nuts, can i live with you?".. it'll probably happen.. and even if it doesnt, your kids will see that your treat them right, and they'll ignore their mum and spend time with you if they want.. trust me.. ;)

[RESiNATE]

Thanks GHoST...but I guess that I only have them at the weekend, and it's easier for me to have the time for them.
Even so, the X has none at all, and prefers to shout at the kids, rather than explain things to them.
Like, they will ask to do something that I don't want them to do, but rather than just say "no!", I will take the time to justify my reason for not letting them do those things.
My eldest made me laugh the other day, because I was praising him for doing well at school...lol, he said "Dad, you already said that I was good, why do you keep saying it?", to which I told him, "Look, if you do bad, I will tell you off, but if you do good, I will tell you so...'cos that s the way it is" lol
Bless him lol

[Bro DZ]

just remember to treat em pretty much the same all their lives. My dad turned into a real asshole after he got remarried. It really sucked until just recently cause now he's afraid of me LoL its funny though, cause he was never a dick about drugs and partying :D

Estrogen is some crazy shit eh? I figure its the cause of most womens bizarre array of issues/problems. Ofcourse testosterone has been said to cause problems too... but i swear, too much estrogen causes that psycho shit some women do. Like wishing Res happy anniversary and tellin him he needs to be at her pad for christmas. Maybe if you sneek estrogen surpressers into her food or drink she would stop buggin LoL

and you know man, getting yourself a lady and sticking with her for even a little while would definetly trip your ex out. You could probably have a good time torturing her

[RESiNATE]

lol -yeah, Bro, I can imagine the look on her face if I turned up with a woman on my arm...something akin to a bulldog chewing a wasp lmfaoooo

err...except that she looks like that anyway :rolleyes:

Nah, I'm done with relationships for the time being - she would have to be a playstation playing, dope-smoking, tune-loving, deep-thinking, intelligent conversationalistic, fun-loving female.....
...
...
...
...
hmmm, that would be nice, but not for now - I got too many issues I need to resolve right now, and I wouldn't want to bog that girl down...I would scare her off before I even got to know her :(

lol