Need Advice..

[Mr.Jesus]

Okay, five days ago my mom found out ive been smoking for 6 months, was really upset and went through the whole trust thing. she didnt ground me or punish me but she said she doesnt want me smoke anymore.she said she has a drug test and if she ever thinks ive been smoking (she really does have it) she'll test me. i planned to just not smoke for a while but now i really wanna and i dont know what i should do. any advice?

[sanguinekane]

Well, if you're under 18, and you're living under her roof, I'd advise following what she says, at least for the meantime. Take a break for a month or so, then maybe you can start smoking again, but be stealth about it. Do it away from home, and don't do anything to make her suspicious. Once your 18, go to college or get a job and move out, and then you can smoke to your heart's content.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

Okay, five days ago my mom found out ive been smoking for 6 months, was really upset and went through the whole trust thing. she didnt ground me or punish me but she said she doesnt want me smoke anymore.she said she has a drug test and if she ever thinks ive been smoking (she really does have it) she'll test me. i planned to just not smoke for a while but now i really wanna and i dont know what i should do. any advice?

Smoke anyways in stealth and if she tests you, just say it is the weed not leaving your system because your body must break it down more slowly than others :p

[4gan2ja0]

man same thing happened to me. i played her bluff on testing me, and it never happened. i just proved to my parents that even though i was high i was still just as responsible and that i could control myself. my parents still dont like it, but dont really care, and they act normal around me when im high.

[smok3y]

Well, if you're under 18, and you're living under her roof, I'd advise following what she says, at least for the meantime. Take a break for a month or so, then maybe you can start smoking again, but be stealth about it. Do it away from home, and don't do anything to make her suspicious. Once your 18, go to college or get a job and move out, and then you can smoke to your heart's content.
:thumbsup:

Remember to respect you mums house bro.. Her house means her rules...

[DannyMan]

man same thing happened to me. i played her bluff on testing me, and it never happened. i just proved to my parents that even though i was high i was still just as responsible and that i could control myself. my parents still dont like it, but dont really care, and they act normal around me when im high.

Yup.
The trick with my parents was to prove them that I could still be responsible and aware of what I was doing with my life (and to be good at it!). As in doing good in school and making progress in my job. Weed can be a powerful ally during challenging times but it does, unfortunately, require a lot of self-control. Anyway what I'm saying is show your mom you understand and apply that! A little break for a while can never hurt, and likes most people here said sneak-a-smoke whenever you can man, and be smart about it.

:thumbsup:

[FunkyMonkey]

MrJesus, I will tell you the same thing I have said in the past.
You have two choices: 1. Respect your mother's wishes and make the effort to rebuild the damage in your relationship, regain some trust and respect. You can both learn from this and can actually strengthen your bond. You have an opportunity to really become close through the whole " cleaning out the closet" thing you are faced with here. Get her to really know you, and you to get to know her. Your realtionship is moving out of the mommy and child stage and into mutual adult stage and you can use this moment to do it with a closeness that you wouldnt have imagined prior. You also have the opportunity to both educate yourselves on the effects of marijuana in your lives and relationship and for her to shed some of the "reefer madness syndrome" and you to shed some of the "secret stoner syndrome" Once she learns that it is not a "gateway drug" of something that will fry your brain and ruin your life you might find some freedoms to enjoy herb without fear or risk.
Common ground my friend is a wonderful place to stand with your mother. Trust me.

2. Ignore her, try to be stealth and risk further damage to your relationship that may take YEARS to overcome.

Its your choice.
Whatever you decide, do it with the knowledge that each step you take brings you closer to your future.


peace.

FM

[phoenix]

Man, I went through that whole trust shit with my parents, and they caught me smoking again, and so I was re-grounded.

Know the difference between the two different times, gaining back the trust, and then having it taken away again?

Getting to go out once. ONE fucking time. Just wasn't worth it to me.

But, I have proved I can handle shit while smoking, but that's not good enough for my parents, oh well. I mean..I'm maintaining a 3.4 with all honors classes, got a 31 on my act, and every college has begged me to come to them except for U of Illinois Champaign, where I still have a pretty good chance to go.

I just don't understand their problem...they think because i was arrested for posession my life is ruined? O_o

[Mr.Jesus]

yeah like her boyfriend started with weed then went to cocaine and she thinks thats what will happen to me. she thinks it's totally un-healthy. im thinking if i maintain to keep good grades this year and stay athletic and if i smoke once a week or less without her knowing it'll be okay. but idk. what does everyone think of that?

[420purplehaze420]

Luckily my parents arent victims of the propaganda and base there knowlege on weed from there own personal experiences, like sane people, so i smoke in my room, with no worries.

Im the irresponsible type so im going to tell you to keep smoking, i mean what if the test does come back positive? she wont turn you over to the cops and if you keep your grades up just ask her what the problem is, or inform her of the benefits and harmlessness of cannabis. But lifes to short not to be responsible so i say smoke discretely.

[FunkyMonkey]

Basically it depends upon how serious you think she is with the testing threat and how bad she will freak if she catches you. Weigh the risk against the reward.
Why dont you chill it for a bit, then bring up the discussion and tell her you intend to smoke on occassion socially and not be red eyed every day because you respect her wishes and her need to be convinced that you can handle smking without going overboard. Start small and as she gains respect and trust and you gain control over your urges to smoke daily you can both have a new perspective.
In my opinion at your age there are many many more things to be concerned about and focus upon daily than smoking weed. Get to know who you are before altering your consciousness daily.
Nothing wrong with daily smoking if it is more than just giggles and escape time. Youre building the foundation for your future daily. Maybe its best not to build it on weed. Moderation will go a long way to educate both of you.

peace.

[Mr.Jesus]

aright ill take everyones answers into perspective. thanks alot.

[FunkyMonkey]

I just wanted to add, I was in your position once upon a time.
I chose the wrong route...I kept right on being a stoner daily and it hurt my relationship with my mother, and my younger sister. I learned a lot through the process of rebuilding my relationships and trust. The hardest part was not having the open support I needed as a growing teen facing all the challenges you face as a teen, simply because I destroyed the trust and convinced her that it was weed that did it to me.
So we became almost enemies for a while and it was easy to stray from my path without that support and guidance.

peace.

[Storm Crow]

I'm about old enough to be your granny and I work in education. Your Mom is worried about all the stuff she's hears over the years about how pot can mess up your life. You are going to have an uphill battle about pot with her. I just wanted to give you a little ammunition. There was a scientific studdy that showed that MODERATE pot use is good for your IQ! This is just the abstract (summary) of the study, but it puts it in no uncertain terms that smoking less that 5 joints a week raises your IQ the most! Smoking MORE than 5 joints a week, however is bad for your IQ! http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/abstract/166/7/887
Nor does it mess up your hormones. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&dopt=abstract&list_uids=1935564&query_hl=1
Or mess up your memory forever (stoned, yeah, your memory's shot, but straight, it will still work fine) http://marijuana.researchtoday.net/archive/3/3664.htm
Or give you cancer like tobacco. (In fact, there is a lot of evidence that pot kills cancer cells- if you're interested, just google- cannabis abstract cancer)
http://www.harmreductionjournal.com/content/2/1/21

I would strongly suggest that you be honest with your mom and tell her that you will keep your use moderate, and not drive (or be driven by friends who are) stoned. That you will keep your grades up (a big thing!) and act like a responsible person. Keeping your act together can go a long way in convincing her. And for your health's sake, I strongly suggest a vaporizer (Vapor Brother's is a good one -about $150). You use 1/2 the pot, your lungs will stay clear and what's left over can go into brownies). Armed with these studies, I think you can argue your case for responsible use. Good luck!

[m.g.]

Okay, five days ago my mom found out ive been smoking for 6 months, was really upset and went through the whole trust thing. she didnt ground me or punish me but she said she doesnt want me smoke anymore.she said she has a drug test and if she ever thinks ive been smoking (she really does have it) she'll test me. i planned to just not smoke for a while but now i really wanna and i dont know what i should do. any advice?

it sounds like you have a great mom who respects you. the last thing i'd want to do if i were in your shoes would be to lose that respect and trust (which always goes hand-in-hand). i'd chill for a bit and not leave anything around for her to find, including net sites. be sure to clear your history after visiting here and any other sites involving illegal activities and even go so far as bookmarking sites that would help in your classes or just expanding knwoledge in general (other than drugs...hehehe). keep your grades up and cause no probs at school and she'll chill on you too...at least enough so she's not so hot on cannabis.

respect is a two-way street and can only be earned...