Non-aggressive behavior - is it worth it?

[moeburn]

Recently in my life, I've tried straying away from arguments and fights. For a while, I've believed that "trying to be friends" is better than "trying to be the boss". I've stood by this belief for quite a few months now.

However, I seem to be getting walked on by the people who are "trying to be the boss". Despite the fact that I remain calm and friendly in person, in my head I scream and pull out a knife.

I'm wondering, whats the healthiest way to deal with situations where someone tries to boss you around, who really shouldn't be?

[NightProwler]

dont be agressive, but dont be a whimp either. you have to stand for yourself and not let anyone think they can be anything over you.

[Markass]

I mostly let people know that I don't appreciate the way they're acting or talking by being silent and looking at them a certain way. The people I hang around know that I don't like to resort to violence, but if the situation calls, I'm down to kick someone's ass. I don't cause shit, and people respect me by not causing shit upon me as well. Being violent and shitty to people doesn't pay off. You make enemies and by engaging in fights and things of that nature, you're risking sending yourself to jail and to me going to jail isn't worth anything, so I just be a friendly individual and smoke my herb.

[Modern Dystopia]

Tell them to fuck off. Some people need reality checks. Don't be afraid to dish them out.

[Kryzco]

Modern's got a point

I've been doing the same thing

it has its benefits and its downfalls

lately more downfalls

i'm just taking my days one at a time but soon enough I know I'll get sick of it, I already am

[Binzhoubum]

Haha...if you are truly correct in any given situation.

You shouldn't have any problems. :smokin:

[IanCurtisWishlist]

I don't like to be violent if it's not necessary. I'm a fairly peaceful person, unless the situation calls for it.

On the other hand, if someone is fucking with me and threatening me, or being really aggressive, then you can count on me to throw the first punch and try to knock them unconscious before they can fucking touch me. I been fucked with too many times and I know that it's best to knock someone out with a couple blows as opposed to standing there talking shit, trying to act tough. If you're trying to fuck with me and you think you have any wit, then let's see you outwit me when you're spitting teeth and wondering where it came from.

besides, there's nothing like bringing an arrogant fuckwad down to size. if someone threatens to kick my ass, they better make damned sure they can do it before i fucking knock them unconscious and take some of their teeth too. I'll take them out in mid-sentence. Becuase you know, i've been in quite a few fights, i've lost quite a few of them because i've tried to be a nice pacifist. in the end you learn that it doesn't work, and sometimes you just have to let the fucker have it as hard as you can dish it out to them, lest they try it again!

and i must admit, it feels really good to beat the life bloody shit out of a person who is really pissing you off and who has it coming. I mean REALLY good.

so if you're getting fucked with, then I think you should just punch the fucker as many times in the face as you can, using maximum force. make damned sure they don't mess with you ever again. make sure they don't even think about it. make sure they piss their pants in fear when they hear your name. hell yes!

[pogmoasal1]

i realized fighting had no point in like 6th grade when everyone started thinking they were tough guys cause they had freinds that were going to help them beat you up. but i dont like fighting anyway i like to be relaxed so i try and stay that way. but when the situation calls for it i can take care of buiessness. and when i do people realize to just leave me alone.

[Wesley Pipes]

being nice is good, has its upsides... but so does being an asshole... women are generally more interested in the badass assholes who act like their not intersted, and they get all hurt and hate men because all the badass wanted was sex... now tell me that aint ironic... woman likes asshole... asshole hurts woman... woman then hates all men because of asshole, lol :dance:

note to women: if ya dont wanna get hurt by a man, dont go for the asshole :thumbsup: some of us are actually decent guys ;)

anyways gettin a bit off topic there lol :o

just be yourself, if telling someone to go fuck themselves is what u feel like doing, then do it, if not.. then dont, simple as that! :D

Peace (is for me) :rasta:

[moeburn]

i actually am currently dating a very beautiful woman who doesn't seem to be interested in the badass type, because i'm a very calm and peaceful guy.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I mostly let people know that I don't appreciate the way they're acting or talking by being silent and looking at them a certain way. The people I hang around know that I don't like to resort to violence, but if the situation calls, I'm down to kick someone's ass. I don't cause shit, and people respect me by not causing shit upon me as well. Being violent and shitty to people doesn't pay off. You make enemies and by engaging in fights and things of that nature, you're risking sending yourself to jail and to me going to jail isn't worth anything, so I just be a friendly individual and smoke my herb.

I'm EXACTLYYY the same way.

To solve an issue I usually think of the most logical and calm way to talk to the person and state my opinion at the same time. I usually use a really calm, innocent tone and don't make the person feel like i'm ganging up on them, but rather am actually trying to solve the problem.

[ChronicMike]

Be chill, but when the time comes stand up.

[paddyahern]

Yeh man, relax, don't let it affect you.

Timing is the key, wait for the right time, keep a cool head and get the cunt when his gaurds down.

Just don't do it out of revenge or in anger. Clear your mind. Wax on, Wax Off Daniel-San.

[shoi]

ive stopped hating ppl and it feels so nice :D but im not afraid to throw a fuck off or somthing out :p

[Euphoric]

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” Mahatma Gandhi

[azure]

its always gonna be nicer to follow animalistic instincts and paste someone into the floor, but if you know its gonna have bad circumstances leave it to a later safer time, or just rip them apart verbally.

[Big Calhoun]

It really depends on the context in which behavior is taking place. That should dictate the appropriate actions.

If you're talking about society at large (friends, family, strangers, etc.), usually the best approach is to simply stand steadfast with your beliefs and what you feel is right. Everyone has a different 'style' and that may contradict with your personality. Usually what I have found is that people who try to throw their weight around do so because A.) they're unhappy with themselves, B.) Are TOO happy with themselves, C.) have no control in other areas of their life so they try to exact control where they feel they can. It's a defense mechanism. I have a pretty firm personality so I don't run into this situation often. When I do, I simply ignore the offender. When it happens enough times, they usually get the message and redesign the approach they use with me. Stay firm, stay respectful.

If you're talking about work, that's a whole nother issue. It really depends on the enviornment you're in. If you're working a menial job, then sure, you can simply tell them to fuck off. If you work in a professional enviornment, then you must remain professional, even if the person you're dealing with isn't acting the same. In the professional world, you never burn your bridges because you don't know who you'll be working for tomorrow. The co-worker you tell to fuck off today could be your boss a year from now. Again, stay firm, stay respectful, and stay professional. Trust me, in the long run, you'll win out.

ALWAYS take the higher road!

[Binzhoubum]

It's more effective in the long run if you can think of a way to screw someone over without taking the violence route. :smokin:

Especially when your other hobbies aren't exactly legal. Why draw more attention to yourself from the police? Assault has a funny way of doing that.

The mind is a powerful tool. But if someone tries to lay the smackdown on my ass, being 6'3" and weighing 90 kg helps me take care of myself. But only as a last resort.

:smokin:

[cole]

i dont realy like to deel with people, i dont like alot of people but im still freindly and whatnot soon as i find somone thats a dick head i try and never see them agean

[Binzhoubum]

i dont realy like to deel with people, i dont like alot of people but im still freindly and whatnot soon as i find somone thats a dick head i try and never see them agean

Yeah, I hear you on that one man. :smokin:

If I meet some assholes, I am friendly to them and just try to avoid them at all costs. I hate it when they ask you whether or not you are avoiding them though.

Hahaha...I smile and say, "Of course not! I have just been so busy lately." :dance:

[Jay Matix]

Stand up for yourself, speak your mind, and be strong.... don't let other people run over you...

[benagain]

It's not a matter of being aggresive or passive. If you can just keep a cool head during conflicts, you'll be fine. It's when people see red and loose it that dumb shit happens (get arrested for fighting, stabbing someone, etc...). Take yourself out of the situation while it happens and see it from a 3rd person point of view. Don't get taken advantage of, but don't be a aggresive asshat either. Stick to your morals (everyone has them even if they don't follow them) and act how you feel is proper. My words of wisdom for the day :thumbsup:

[orangeman]

Sometimes non-aggressivness works, other times people needs a good ass whippin if you want them to leave you alone :p.