A check-in for Marlboroman

[birdgirl73]

Hey, guy. I saw you were online briefly on one of the political threads, but I didn't get there in time to catch you.

Just wanted to hear what the latest is if you feel like giving an update. Hope all is OK. I sense you've been low these days. Haven't heard much from you lately anywhere around here. Take care!

[Marlboroman]

Hey, guy. I saw you were online briefly on one of the political threads, but I didn't get there in time to catch you.

Just wanted to hear what the latest is if you feel like giving an update. Hope all is OK. I sense you've been low these days. Haven't heard much from you lately anywhere around here. Take care!

Ive been better than usual actually.

As far as a check in on the divorce and such, we are still doing mediation. The benefits of staying out of court on matters such as these are very hard for me to ignore, altho I fear the other participant in this matter doesnt feel the same. And altho I am guilty of blackmail in order to force her into mediation, I believe had I not done this, things would be very bad indeed.

We are in the proccess of gathering information as to the value of our home, after that things will move along rather swiftly. Only a few more things to work out, altho allot of the situation has been left in the relm of implications, instead of staements. I wont let it stay this way however, I think you atleast know I dont like to deal with what one intended to mean or say, I like to stay in the relm of what someone actually says or does as much as I can.

I went to Toronto this past weekend to visit my cousin and his girlfriend, I found that I miss my children emensly when I am away, altho sometimes I wish I was away when they around out of sorts.

It was a good experience, even tho it was painfull at times, in the end, the pain brings understanding and this will also be the case with the overall situation I'm sure.

I appreciate your concern in this, it is nice to know that someone on the outside looking in, is concerned.

I hope all is well with your sister, I dont think I have ever directly talked to you about this. Its in no small measure that I know what you are going thru, my father died of lung cancer. I have often thought of writeing something to you on this subject, I think it my own pain that I keeps me from it.
My father was a good person, and its very hard for me to deal with him passing the way he did.

I feel you have a tremendous amount of strength to deal with your situation the way you are, I think its very difficult to find courage when faced with pain.

Keep liveing life Bird, I think that in the end, we might just find out its all we ever really had to do.

Best wishes.

[birdgirl73]

Thanks for the update, hon. I'm glad to know things are moving forward and that you're feeling better than usual. You weren't online much in recent days, and I worried that you were perhaps even lower than you had been, which had me eager to hear from you.

I certainly appreciate the information about your dad, too. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I know what you mean about hesitating about writing about it because of the pain of even delving into the subject. I am often relieved when I can just play on the boards and no one mentions Bess, but I'm also always touched when people ask after her. It's a no-win situation because it's not going to get better and because it's never going to feel good to talk about it. I need to openly and directly talk about it more, I learned this morning. Went for a check-in appointment with a very good therapist I trust and respect. I've been worried that I'm going to weigh down my husband emotionally and not be able to provide him his share of wifely support, and so I wanted to off-load some of this onto someone else. Anyway, I was relieved to learn I'm not nuts, I'm not putting an overly heavy burden on my husband, I'm just understandably worried, panicked, aggrieved, and facing lots of change at once. And I just have to make an effort to talk as much about this impending loss as I can, both with Bess and with others, and get through the pain so I'm not holding it all in. Lately, I've been dealing with it by exercising too much and not eating enough, which isn't good.

Boy, you may be sorry you brought up the subject! I hope not. It makes me tremendously glad to know there's another person out there who's been through a similar situation and survived. We're making a concerted effort to have a little fun-time this afternoon and evening. In about a half hour, we're going to go bowling, which ought to be entertaining if nothing else, and then we're going to dinner and a movie. So that'll be a way of living life and taking a break for a time.

Best wishes to you, too, sweetie. I'll talk to you soon, I hope!

[onwardthroughthefog]

Marlboroman, I am so sorry to hear of your pending divorce. Having been through that myself, I know it can be incredibly difficult. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Birdgirl, I am also sorry to have read that your sister has stopped progressing. I had hoped that she might have some degree of remission. You are quiet a loving and caring sister. We all should have family who loves us so much. You will both be in my prayers as well.

Have a good ending to the week. I will be away on business all day Thursday, so I won't be back on here for a couple of days. Take care of yourselves and stay strong.

Onward!

[birdgirl73]

Thanks, Onward, for your tender thoughts and words. I appreciate that so much. Today is a better day for both me and my sister. We had a good long talk and talked a bit more about the purple elephant in the room that everyone was avoiding, her terminal condition, that is. I feel much more at peace now knowing she's at peace about what's happening to her. Hope you've had a good business trip today!

[onwardthroughthefog]

Hello again my friend. I'm glad to see you doing so well right now.

I understand how hard it is for your family to talk about the elephant you mentioned. Nobody thinks the person going through it wants to talk about it. But your sister is VERY lucky to have you as her sister. The things you share with us about your relationship are a great lesson in how to really love your family, even when things are rough.

I know you probably will never know it, but you most certainly touch the hearts of people on here by sharing your experiences. I'm certainly glad you found our little group and decided to become our neighbor and friend.

Have a great day, and keep being the great sister you are!! :thumbsup:

Onward!

[birdgirl73]

Onward, as always, your comments never fail to comfort, console, and uplift me. Thank you for that. I'd say I'm the lucky one, both to have had my big sister leading the way throughout my lifetime--and to have a supportive friend like you. I'm going to keep both these facts in mind today in case I begin to feel sorry for myself.