Had one of them talks about it with mother/grandfather

[Markay]

Didnt go well at all! It wasnt much a of a talk with my mother, Im getting very sick of her treating me the same now as she did when I was 12 (Im nearly 17, and a mature 17 year old if I do say so myself)

It started by her coming in to my room while I was asleep and telling me that she's not giving me money to go across the country for training because I smoke dope so there's no point in training.

I got picked in the top 35 players in my quarter of the country to play rugby for that province, all while toking! It just shows how safe it is.

But yeah, I told her I quit while I trained and got onto that team, so she thinks now because I tried to tell her how safe it is Im just gonna get kicked off it because Im back smoking.

When I was 15 I smoked all the time and got very aggressive and paranoid, but that was mainly down to what was going on with me at the time with a few things. I did use cannabis as an escape.

But anyway, she didnt listen to a word I said and then got angry enough to tell my grandfather. He's an old man who never drank, smoked or even drink coffee. He's 80 and he's still a beast of a man! But he's religious and started actually listening to me.
Bless him, he doesnt know the difference between cannabis and heroin so he actually listened to me, he's a good man.

But yeah, my mother's gone on a mental one, and she's stormed off saying that I can either stop taking cannabis or 'do a thomas on it'. Thomas is my brother who left because of her bullshit! It wasnt cannabis related, she just doesnt know how to parent problems. She just shouts.

Argh, but my grandfather told me to live my life, Im old enough and man enough to make my own choices, just dont go down the drugs road. My mother's main arguement was that he would go crazy if he found out and we'd be kicked out of this house. But that's not true now, Im relieved he knows now actually.

[slipknotpsycho]

But anyway, she didnt listen to a word I said and then got angry enough to tell my grandfather.


My mother's main arguement was that he would go crazy if he found out and we'd be kicked out of this house.

.... yea that's real logical... sounds like another closed minded parent who generates their own excuses to me...

[FeastonThisSHITT]

I know the type. I wouldn't bother wasting energy trying to communicate factual information with her. I suggest not acknowledging anything she has to say until she is willing to make conversation a two-way street. Some people have problems with conversational skills and just need to be trained.

My mother was always cool, but my father was exactly how you describe your mom. It used to be arguements and such, basicaly him not listening and trying to overbear my point of view with loudness and aggression. I eventualy told him that conversation must be a two way street or it is a waste of energy even opening our mouths. Eventualy he learned how to have a proper conversation with me, but it took time.

[Delta9 UK]

I had fun at 15 with my mum - as it happens I didn't smoke until 18.

She started on about me saying she thought I was an addict.

FFS I was 15 - you are supposed to be pissed off with the world.

Anyway I asked her what she got up to in the 60's - that particular discussion ended right there... funny that ;)

[Markay]

Well my mam took one toke in a circle in college, and didnt like the taste so she didnt 'take' any more.
And I believe that, she was very sheltered as a teenager.

She put my views down to 'selective reading' written by pot heads. She challenged me to name one person in their mid 20s that smokes cannabis and is successful, so I did.
So she named my uncle who abused cannabis, drank everyday and took other drugs as someone who wasnt successful until he quit. She couldnt see how it wasnt cannabis' fault that he couldnt deal with his problems.

I called her a hypocrite anyway, and that annoyed her. She drinks, not much now, but she does to relax. And she's addicted to caffiene (Sp?)

She mentioned something about psychosis so I TRIED to explain the facts to her but no...blah.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

Show her this.

http://www.saferchoice.org/facts.html

[FeastonThisSHITT]

http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/3558.html

[FeastonThisSHITT]

Tell her after she reads that, that if she drinks, she is doing somethig worse than you and is being hypocritical, rendering her arguements invalid.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

selective reading? Or Factual, static information?

[Markay]

Oh, she said that if I quit smoking dope she wouldnt drink. So her arguements at the moment are invalid, but she's willing to validate them.

[benagain]

You may hate me, but she's your mom. Even if she's wrong, just do what you can to make her happy while you still can. You are practically a grown man, but to her you're her 16 year old kid. Take it this way. Look how big of a deal she's making about nothing, she's doing it for you (or so she belevies). She's trying to help you with a problem she thinks you have. Maybe you can help her with her problem of letting go. It's practically impossible to not fight with your mom when your that age, but hang in there. I'm sure she loves you and just wants whats best.

[Markay]

Oh yeah, I know that benagain. That's why I was trying to be honest with her. I dont like hiding stuff from her, or her worrying about me.

But Im just sick of her bullshit. I used to come home drunk when I was 15 and sometimes she wouldnt even care, depending how drunk I was. If I was puking and shit she'd be pissed, but if I was just giggley she wouldnt care that much at all.

So now, when sport and my life is going well, Im happy, healthy, I havent drank in like 6 months and dont plan to. She finds out Im smoking dope once or twice a week and it's a problem? She wont even tell me why it's a problem.

'Im the mother and I said so'.

That shit works with a toddler who cant think for himself, not a man.

[FeastonThisSHITT]

It is easier to pull that "I'm the mother" shit, but it runs dry as you age. You can't win here, she doesn't seem to be open to discussion at all because she doesn't want to have to think of a good reason for her rule.

You can either quit or let her know that you are intelligent and mature enough to make your decision on the matter and that financial pressure would be a form of bullying, even if it with good intentions.

[LIP]

She didnt like the taste? Everyone likes the taste. EVERYONE.

[cannabis campbell]

Lol :D

whats the peace and fucking thing in your name LIP and did you make your avatar yourself?

[benagain]

ok, I could see the over worrying about the pot, but i'm not sure about the alcohol. Maybe now that you've got your 'shit together' she's worried that something the isn't familliar with is gonna take it away. Who knows. Give it a few years and you won't have to worry about it. Just don't say anything you'll regret once you've moved on on your own :thumbsup:

I'm sure she'll come around eventually. Just keep on doing well.

[3rdEyeVision]

kind of off topic but owell, my mom told me she thinks weed should be legalized today :D :dance: , I wonder if she still remembers Im growing a plant?? :rasta:

[orangeman]

Meh that sucks, if there werent so many lies about cannabis problems like this wouldnt happen. I cant believe because of peoples lies about a fuckin herbal it breaks up families. This world is sad.

[Markay]

Fucks sake, I got a ride to training and come back to have my girlfriend ringing me to say my mam rang her and talked to her about it.
More than she did with me, no talking with me. Just her shouting

She's now also told my grandmother, who I would nearly say I hate at this stage.
She's a complete fool and Im pretty sure my whole family will know soon enough. She literally doesnt know much about anything, at all.
She also called me a junkie a minute ago, dispite me not smoking cigs, drinking or even drinking coffee.
Thankfully most of my aunts and uncles them rebelled from the terrible 'sheltered' parenting they recieved and probably know the truth about cannabis. In fact, my mother raised my aunts and uncles because my grandmother would beat her if she didnt.

Ahh, the old Irish ways eh? I cant wait to raise a family and actually treat my kids with a bit of respect. I will remember being treated like a leper.

[420purplehaze420]

your moms a bitch, like fuck, i wouldnt be able to stand it in your house, my dads side is irish and my moms is dutch (canada), and i smoke bowls around the clock in my room, i just told em i would rather smoke in my room where i dont have the option of getting hassled by the pigs, i passed all my classes and eventually they just accepted it, now im your age and share an apartment with 2 roommates in....life is good

[orangeman]

...your moms a bitch...

Even though he's mad at his mom..I dont think he appreciates you callin his mom a bitch lol.

[Markay]

Indeed, unreasonable and closed minded are better words.

But yeah, this pretty much sucks. They cant see that Im not gonna do it everyday, I go out and party (toke while others drink!) about once a month. Ill toke then, and maybe 3-4 times a month other times. So once a week! That wouldnt even effect my mental state, I know how much I have to smoke to make myself go bad (ive done it before!)

But, funny thing is, my mam was super pissed last night, so what did she do? Have a can of heineken!
I was sooo tempted to explain to her that was escapism using a much stronger drug than cannabis and I would never smoke cannabis while having problems because that just creates another problem, but she probably would have shot me!

Oh well, again, Im looking forward to being a good father in a good few years. I hope my kids dont drink but toke with me, and we can talk about life. I wish I had that

[BlazinGenius]

But yeah, my mother's gone on a mental one, and she's stormed off saying that I can either stop taking cannabis or 'do a thomas on it'. Thomas is my brother who left because of her bullshit! It wasnt cannabis related, she just doesnt know how to parent problems. She just shouts.


that's all I would have needed to hear...pack your shit up, and move on. Ignorant people don't deserve the satisfaction of raising children.

[crudemood]

I know the type. I wouldn't bother wasting energy trying to communicate factual information with her. I suggest not acknowledging anything she has to say until she is willing to make conversation a two-way street. Some people have problems with conversational skills and just need to be trained.

My mother was always cool, but my father was exactly how you describe your mom. It used to be arguements and such, basicaly him not listening and trying to overbear my point of view with loudness and aggression. I eventualy told him that conversation must be a two way street or it is a waste of energy even opening our mouths. Eventualy he learned how to have a proper conversation with me, but it took time.

I thought my dad was the only one that way. He never listens, its always him telling me what to do and not listening to a word I say. I'm 19 now and he still does that, its kind of irritating I cant have a proper conversation with him. So, I dont bother talking to him at all. He was the kind of dad who said outloud once, "Girls should do all the washing and cleaning." He's old and you know someone is old when they can't change their ways because they're too stubborn to accept any other ideas.


It is easier to pull that "I'm the mother" shit, but it runs dry as you age. You can't win here, she doesn't seem to be open to discussion at all because she doesn't want to have to think of a good reason for her rule.


Whenever I try to state my point of view on things he'll say such condescending things like, "I'm older and have more experience than you do." Saying that anything I say has no value and that I should listen to him no matter what.
I say simply state my opinion and he'll get all angry because he thinks I'm disrespecting him, or he'll go on trying to push his point of views on me until I agree and say shut up.

So, from my experience, I say dont bother unless they're willing to make a change for you and have trust that you know what you're doing and yes you're going to make mistakes along the way while you're at it. Its only normal.

Good luck.