i think...

[slipknotpsycho]

i might be leaving... i'm quite depressed as it is right now, today is my birthday, and it just makes me realize every year my entire family (aside from my living brother, and grandparents) have disowned me, and they couldn't care less what happens to me... and it's just another year i've accomplished, nothing. but on to the point....

i no longer know anywhere to get weed, so now i have a wide array of pipes and bongs, that are going to end up thrown away... being here only makes me want it that much more, and there's absolutely no way i'm getting any, probably ever again... plus i have high blood pressure and that's one of the only things that helped me relax, even if for just a time, which makes it even harder to say goodbye to it all... i just really don't see the point in staying anymore since all it's doing is torturing me...

i'm not sure if i'm leaving or not yet, but i'm highly considering it... to those who hate me/always just want to start shit with me, congratulations you may no longer have to put up with me, those who liked me, just move on i guess... i'm really no longer part of the 'pot community' the only thing that ties me to it anymore, is my love for it (which is more torture) my bongs/pipes, and visiting this site...

[crudemood]

where are you leaving?
stay here, chat with us. we enjoy you're company.
no one here hates you, well definately not me.
you aint going nowhere yet. i say you stay

[birdgirl73]

Slipknotpsycho, don't be too hasty. Certainly someone can help you obtain some weed. There are people on here who care about you and like you, and we'd miss you if you went away! Don't you think this is just the depression talking????

[Its a Plant]

Aww don't give up so soon, birthday boy! There's connections where you live, just please try harder, so you'll want to stay.

It's not a rule that you have to be high as a kite to chat with us, so stick around! Though maybe it should be.... lol.

Seriously, maybe take a little road trip every now and then and buy a few pounds to tide you over?

I hope to still see you around.

No, no.

I will see you around. Later ~

[orangeman]

How old are you? I really wouldnt worry about it dude. From my experience I really just believe that as teens get older there are periods in our lives when we feel very depressed. After a few days (or maybe weeks) it'll go away, you'll probably feel like it again and again but dont worry man. In the end it'll all be fine.

[graph]

happy birthday to you...

[3rdEyeVision]

start over again bro, just fucking leave all the bullshit problems and worries behind and go start your life somewhere else totally different.....If your saying what I think your saying you mine as well try and make a new life.....what have you got to lose right

[slipknotpsycho]

no it's not just the depression, i've been thinking about it for awhile, since everything went 'dry' and i knew that was the end, i'm not just a 'teen' i'm 21, and there is no where to get anything, i don't have it in me to walk up to random people and ask, and this city is a pretty dry city to begin with... and i highly doubt anyone here lives anywhere near me, closest would be probably houston which is an hour away.. i don't have a way out there, so getting it taht way is out of the question, besides.. we're not allowed to look for hook ups through this site.. i really do feel it's the end for me.


aside from all that, we don't really have the money to support my habbit anymore, it's hard to find decent weed for 10 an 1/8th (it's always just feel in my lap through some friend or my brothers or aquantances) but i'ts all gone now, person i was getting it from stole my 20 bucks and i ain't getting it back so i'm not going through him, friend that used to be able to get it, and even buy it for me, lost his job which is where he got it from (he'd give free tanks of gas to people for an oz or so) and i haven't even heard from him in a month, brother moved, and can't get it there..

[orangeman]

...i'm not just a 'teen' i'm 21...

Oh shit, sorry lol. I didnt know, but still your young so I still think you go through your shit too.

[slipknotpsycho]

i'm a manic depressive, high anxiety person with high blood pressure and no release... of course i go through shit, but it's not just 'growing up' or something, until i find a medication that works i'll be stuck this way for the rest of my life....

[Its a Plant]

Have you tried meditation? It works wonders for stress, so I've heard. Might want to look into it just so you might be able to find some inner peace.

Have you also tried LSD? Lol, seriously though, it's great for self-actualization and enlightenment. Just curious.

[slipknotpsycho]

no acid, wouldn't do it if i got the chance, i'm the type of person who always has a bad trip on shit other then weed (salvia was borderline enlightening-horrible) and i'm on medication, it doesn't work... going back to the doctor soon to get somethin new.. hopefully..

[Its a Plant]

And what about meditation? It's supposed to really help with stress levels and anxiety.

[slipknotpsycho]

honestly tried it, didn't help me.. or atleast not enough to be worth the time...

[Its a Plant]

Well I don't know if money is a factor to keep in mind (usually it always is), but what about seeking a psychiatrist? They don't medicate, either. You just talk out everything with a professional. Just another idea. ~

[SmokingPlatypus]

Sorry to hear you go, SlipknotPsycho. You and I haven't really seen eye to eye on a few things, but I've considered you a friend since you've been a member of the boards. Best of luck in where you decide to go.

[Bong30]

Happy Birthday.........

you will find some bud.

dont go.......stay here and chill

[Tom Swierzbinski]

Has growing your own ever interested you? It can actually be really cheap (considering the value of the final product), you dont need fancy HPS lights either. Just a small closet with a dozen CFLs would yield at least a couple of ounces every 3-4 months. Have a lookie in the growing sections, theres heaps of information. BobBong got a couple of ounces from one plant using just CFLs.
P.S happy birthday man. Youve lived another year! :thumbsup:

[3rdEyeVision]

lol is this thread about suicide or not, I cant figure it out......If its not and your just complaining about not having weed your a pussy

[Cooler Then Jesus]

Happy birthday slip

i think we all need to send someone a birthday present

you can email me dooood

[email protected]


every one post your email if your willing to help the cause!

[smoke it]

yo slip i no a guy who rolls the best blunt evr. i send u sum no charge.

email me
[email protected]

[SmokingPlatypus]

lol is this thread about suicide or not, I cant figure it out......If its not and your just complaining about not having weed your a pussy

No, it's about not having weed, and not really being sure if growing up is what he really wants to do and just quit smoking, or keep on trying to find bud. I've been in that situation before, it's not really fun. At all.

[3rdEyeVision]

just quit then if its making you this sad or whatever....

[yoda]

your a respected member slip. but if you feel its what you need to do, give it a try. if you have aim or aol, my sn is 'riffs and spliff' so im me sometime cause id still wanna hold some chat with you.

[invoke]

I think you should stay, I don't really know you... obviously, but I bet you have a lot of information you can share with some less-knowledgable people. (Like your cleaning the resin guide, it worked great for me! I even get enough to muster up another bowl. :thumbsup: )

[cannabis campbell]

Well if your gonna leave dont do it unless your 100% sure!

[slipknotpsycho]

no that's not why i'm depressed and i'm not suicidal, i'm depressed because every birthday i have i realize it's another year i've accomplished nothing (there's people who aren't even motivated to do the things they need to do, others that just live their life day by day (me) and some who have high hopes and dreams, i don't reallly have money to go back to school, and there's just nothing to really do for me... except wake up, do essiental daily stuff, play a game or two, and go back to sleep...) and also, my entire family with the exception of like 3-4 people have disowned me.. they all hate me (believe me i'm not over exagerating, they all really do hate me, i'm the scapegoat of the family =/) it's just a depressing realization that happens 2 times a year, christmas and birthdays (when most people are with their whole families, i'm not.)

about the leaving, it doesn't really matter if weed just fell in my lap once or twice, we can't really afford first of all (remember our food stamps got cut, if you've read my venting post) and there's just no where to get it to begin with, i mean yea i'm sure you could find someone here, if you looked through everyone, but 98% of the people that have been asked if they have any, or know where they can get any, are looking for someone to get it from themselves...

wife won't let me grow, so i can just kiss that idea goodbye, believe me i do want to grow..

and it's a plant, i think you mean psychologist (psychiatrists are the ones who prescribe meds, psychologist can't.), and i've had one for quite awhile (don't anymore) talking about problems never has helped me.. i write poetry/songs to get my feelings out usually, but this isn't something that can just be let out, the depression over it can, but it's not just going to go away, it's not something i can just make peace with either... it's really shitty to be hated by your entire family..

[rhino44]

Hey dude my grandparents were like my real parents. I used to live with them and help them out. they both passed away recently and it really sucks cuz grandparents kick ass. Enjoy the time you spend with them. Like you the rest of my family doesnt like me much. They thought I was just taking advantage of my grandparents when really I cared deeply for them.

Hopefully you can find something positive to do with your time. something that's positive both physically and mentally. Also find something your good at and able to make a decent living off of would help you alot. Atleast for me even though I'm currently unemployed. I'm a carpenter and there is nothing like working a full day and coming home and relaxing. It's just a really good feeling of accomplishment.

Maybe taking a break from toking is what you need. Just try to keep a positive outlook on life. I have taken a few breaks from toking and I find exercise is a great stress reliever and makes you fel better about yourself. That's just me. hope it works out for you...Peace

[Marlboroman]

Well I don't know if money is a factor to keep in mind (usually it always is), but what about seeking a psychiatrist? They don't medicate, either. You just talk out everything with a professional. Just another idea. ~

This aint exactly right Its a Plant.

A psychiatrist does prescribe medication.(and they are often solicited by drug companies to push a certain brand or anti-depressant)

A psycologist doesnt.

[Its a Plant]

Lol ya, I noticed that after I posted it. I hope everyone got what I was trying to say.

And Slip let me know.

But uhhh, thanks guy, and thanks.... :rolleyes:

Hope everything turns around for you Slip~

[slipknotpsycho]

so i think i've made my decision.... i'm not leaving, but don't expect to see me even a 1/10th of what i've shown before hand... only thing i will mainly post about anymore, is helping people (assuming someone hasn't already answered their question) if i were to be asked to be a mod i think i'd finally accept (not asking, just part of my point) as i will be so withdrawn from everything (but still checking in 2-3x a day) i don't really think i'm very prone to being 'offended' anymore, thus i'm able to keep an open mind on the subject at hand instead of taking sides...

anyways, my main point is you might as well think of me as an anti-social, manic depressive withdrawn from 'reality' member.. if it's fact/fiction type of question, or a how to, and someone hasn't answered it you will see me there.. if it's opinion or something that simply cannot be proved either way (prime example here is discussion of god, but i mean anything that can't be proved nor disproved) you will not see me in that thread.

best description, i am a ghost, you will see me rarely, but i will see you always... so to everyone (not just people i'm cool with or vice versa) i'll see you in a better life... later peoples.

[rhino44]

:smokin: may the force be with you:smokin:

[az666]

could I ask one question!

Why the sudden change?

[slipknotpsycho]

i've explained it all two times, if you're talking about me staying, because someone pointed out i could still stick around to help people out with my vast knowledge i've gained over the past 8 years...

[suhl]

fuck that thing reads like a suicide note

[OreO]

ya man, i think it would be a good idea for ya to stop by once in awhile...cool out in the forums....we have your back man!

[suhl]

let me tell you that legal drugs arent the answer. i was on ritalin for a lot of my childhood and i honestly think i would be a far better person today had i never been on that. of course it wouldnt be that bad since you would be doing it yourself and are past the developmental stages and everything. id try some acid if i were you, youll probably feel a little more content afterward. and ive never done salvia but from everything ive hard a lot of people have bad experiences with it maybe even more than have good. so dont use that as your standard for drugs please. anyway back to legal drugs for personality problems. lately i have been thinking this shit is a far bigger escape from reality than any street drug and people just assume its good because someone else said it usually they dont really know why or how it works, but it isnt illegal so obviously it must be healthy. fuck. and thank you, someone else who understands how when you dont have a hookup it isnt that easy to just start asking random people on the street. im with you there