I dont know what to do

[smitty420]

hey whatsup everyone. Im RYan im 18 and im about to go to college in gainsville florida. I live in south florida and i feel lost at the moment. Since july 2 2005 i dated a girl jamie whos 2 years younger then me. We were totally in love and dated untill july 12 2006. We had been havign some problems and arguments and thigns seemed different for a few monthes but we felt we were strong enough to make it through anything. Then last night jamie randomly ended thigns with me over the phone. Nothing too major had happened recently it had just been a slow roll downhill. We both cried on the phone and we both still love eachother, she said she loves me so much but cant have a boyfriend right now and I was just like r u sure thats what u want and she said yes. Well we talked for awile and plan on staying close and she called me last night again to talk and say gnite and it was so bad. It was semi akward convo about ubllshit stuff then when it came time to go to bed it felt so empty without the i love u i love u 2. I was like jamie i still care about you o much and she started crying then i did and she was like i care for u so much too but we cant be together anymore. Well this morning she called me since shes my alarm clock for work and htigns were ocmpeltly wful. She got on the phone and was like hi i just wanted to wake u up i gotta go ill talk to u later. She sounded terrible as did i and was probably crying. I feel lost right now. Like part of me is gone forever, i cant eat and am naseaus. I dont know what to do i dont know if i should try to get her back or just try to be friends. Im scared that if i try to get her back shell cut things off entirely abd we wont talk anymore. I know im going to college and theres 50 000 girls for me to meet but i feel like theres no one out there quite like her. Im sick to my stomach and she is too she told me she was about to pukle last nite. I have no clue on what to do i just feel totally lost and sad. I always used to laugh at young kids my age getting upset over breakups thinking how are they upset there 18 years old no one gets married that young theres a million fish in the sea etc etc but i just am overwhelmed with sadness. I dont know if i should try to get her back now or just remain close with her and see what the future brings. We already decided that no matter what we will stay close because we both need eachother i just want to do the best thing. Any advice please will be greatly appreciated.

[strider115]

listen from past exp's i can just say this...dont talk to hr anymore, its hard but it has to b done because its only just gonna keep eating at u trust me, and when she gets a new man its even wore believe me, just lose her numba and tell her to do the same and call it the end

[strider115]

her** worse**

[smitty420]

I cant do that, part of me wants to but i just cant. The other part of me wants to do something heroic like in the movies and come back and get her back and make thigns happily ever after. Im so confused and sad and upset i feel like my heart got ripped out of me. I cant just delete her from my life. Weve talked everyday for over a year and we dated for over year. Ive spent soo much of my life with her i cant just end it and pretend it never happened. Im thinking about writing her an email thanking her for are relationship and for what she gave me in terms of love, herself, her soul etc.. and expressing to her i want to remain close. I was just in the middle of typing it and exited out because i feel it is way too soon for that. Shes supposed to be calling me tonight but i dont know if thats just gonna make it worse or whatnot. Im sick over this i cant believe this happened to us I had everything i ever wanted. I cant just delete her from my life i dont know what i want to do. I dont even know if i want to get back together or not because when we eventually breakup i dont want to feel this same pain and sadness again.

[computathug]

listen mate ya not the first to feel like thst and ya wont be the last. move on play the field a bit and u will soon forget about her. im 33 now and this shit still happens to me lol so dont worry about it - in a few years time u will fink dam i was luck and remember ya will have as much fun with many more gals to come. ya dont marry the first gal ya meet its just not the tv where we all live happily ever after but its real life and we dig in and keep smiling coz tomorrow is another day and today is the first day of the rest of ure life and so a new adventure so get high and enjoy it - its all good eventually :dance:

[smitty420]

thanks, has anyone ever had a succesful relationship as like a best friend with an ex. I cant bring myself to move on and totally forget about her and i wanna know if its possible to be close with an ex in a non sexual/romance way.

[Pipe Dreams]

Hey man, just let it ride for a little while, if you guys truely love each other and are meant to be together, shit will work its self out in the end man. Just chill.

Thats pretty wierd, Im hella close to you man, Im in Ocala.

[smitty420]

pipedreams im in south florida for another month then im off to the SWAMP! Were meant to be the age thing fucked us cuz im goin away and she still has high school. If we were older shed be the girl i marry but w.e weve been texting and i think were gna b able to stay friends and maybe ill get some benefits ;) . Im gonna miss the little things like the i love yous and the anniversaries and the random emails she sends and such but ill be ok. I mean im goin to University of Florida in a month about to be surrounded by thousands of new people and women to meet. Ocala is reeeel close to Gville we should smoke one up (or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 .....) when i go up to gville. My aim is rs2base78 if u wanna hit me up. Thanks for the help guys i mean it only happened yest so itas the only thing im thinking about. But well be ok she told me shell always be close to me whether its as a gf in the future or best friend or whatnot and i told her the same. It sucks feeling so shitty right now though, im having the same feeling as if a loved one of mine died and it sucks.

[Marlboroman]

shes hideing something, you said her reason was that the two of you cant be together anymore.

Did you ask why that is?

From past experience I can see this being a pre-imtive strike on her part.

Thats saying she is trying to save herself pain down the line from the likelyhood you will hook up with another at college.

It's also not uncommon for couples to go thru a stage like this when a seperation is forthcomeing, I was in the Navy and I went to a couples siminar on seperation cycles because I was being deployed on the ship for 6 months.

In the cycle its not irregular for there to be this sense of anxiety based on things that may or may not happen. Useing a metaphore, its like building a wall between the two of you in order to not feel so much pain when the time comes for you to leave her behind. This explains the down hill rolling effect of the relationship.

You seem to be pretty aware of your emotions tho which is excellent, take this opritunity to grow from the experience.

If you make a move like the ones you see in the movies, you just may be setting yourself up to be locked into something simply because you dont want to deal with the pain of the loss.

OK, my Dr. Phil moment is over, good luck man, I hope what ive said can help you. I'm sure there are books you can get to better help explain the phycological cycles im talking about.

Peace.

[smitty420]

she told me she loves me but we cant be together anymore because she cant have a bf in her life right now. her reasoning was that with an important year of school coming up she doesnt have time for work, school, friends, and a boyfriend especially one in college. i asked if she wanted to be single to meet guys and she was hurt when i asked and so no way and that i would be that guy if she wanted a relationship. I am starting to feel slightly better due to friends, her promises that we will always be close, and even my fellow cannabis.com members. It just hurts really bad i feel like i dont remember how to talk to girls or pick them up since i havnt needed to use those skills in about 18 monthes. She is as of right now the love of my life so maybe something is in store for us down the road, (shell probably go to college about an hour away from me instead of the 5 hours it will be this year). It sucks really bad but ive heard good things about gainsville girls, and im so young im 18 years old. Last night i was really upset and having thoughts of being single my hwole life and no girl is gonna love me like she did and does but then today i realized ive never had a problem getting chicks so why start now.

[Marlboroman]

As far as picking up chicks, there is a book called "The Game: Penetrating the secret society of pick-up artists".

Its a good read, and will explain allot about picking up chicks, that maybe you already know, and maybe you dont, either way I'd recomend it to anyone.

Go get a book on relationship cycles, I dont know of one off hand most of what i know ive gotten from seminars. It will really clue you in to the fact that what yer going thru is a natural means of dealing with pain.

Greaveing proccess.

Dont make me go Dr. Phil on you again ! lol

Peace.

[irishAFRICAN]

hey whatsup everyone. Im RYan im 18 and im about to go to college in gainsville florida. I live in south florida and i feel lost at the moment. Since july 2 2005 i dated a girl jamie whos 2 years younger then me. We were totally in love and dated untill july 12 2006. We had been havign some problems and arguments and thigns seemed different for a few monthes but we felt we were strong enough to make it through anything. Then last night jamie randomly ended thigns with me over the phone. Nothing too major had happened recently it had just been a slow roll downhill. We both cried on the phone and we both still love eachother, she said she loves me so much but cant have a boyfriend right now and I was just like r u sure thats what u want and she said yes. Well we talked for awile and plan on staying close and she called me last night again to talk and say gnite and it was so bad. It was semi akward convo about ubllshit stuff then when it came time to go to bed it felt so empty without the i love u i love u 2. I was like jamie i still care about you o much and she started crying then i did and she was like i care for u so much too but we cant be together anymore. Well this morning she called me since shes my alarm clock for work and htigns were ocmpeltly wful. She got on the phone and was like hi i just wanted to wake u up i gotta go ill talk to u later. She sounded terrible as did i and was probably crying. I feel lost right now. Like part of me is gone forever, i cant eat and am naseaus. I dont know what to do i dont know if i should try to get her back or just try to be friends. Im scared that if i try to get her back shell cut things off entirely abd we wont talk anymore. I know im going to college and theres 50 000 girls for me to meet but i feel like theres no one out there quite like her. Im sick to my stomach and she is too she told me she was about to pukle last nite. I have no clue on what to do i just feel totally lost and sad. I always used to laugh at young kids my age getting upset over breakups thinking how are they upset there 18 years old no one gets married that young theres a million fish in the sea etc etc but i just am overwhelmed with sadness. I dont know if i should try to get her back now or just remain close with her and see what the future brings. We already decided that no matter what we will stay close because we both need eachother i just want to do the best thing. Any advice please will be greatly appreciated.

go have a wank breathrin......you sound stressed....everything will be okay in the morning :)

(sorry, im not really good at giving advice)

[smitty420]

As far as picking up chicks, there is a book called "The Game: Penetrating the secret society of pick-up artists".

Its a good read, and will explain allot about picking up chicks, that maybe you already know, and maybe you dont, either way I'd recomend it to anyone.

Go get a book on relationship cycles, I dont know of one off hand most of what i know ive gotten from seminars. It will really clue you in to the fact that what yer going thru is a natural means of dealing with pain.

Greaveing proccess.

Dont make me go Dr. Phil on you again ! lol

Peace.

by the cycling thing do u mean that this is a normal cycle for a relationship to end or that its a normal cycle and we may get back together and this is just a stepping stone.

[Marlboroman]

by the cycling thing do u mean that this is a normal cycle for a relationship to end or that its a normal cycle and we may get back together and this is just a stepping stone.

You are going away, really wouldnt matter where you were going, the down hill roll effect and the break up are indeed sighns of a seperation cycle.

Basically breaking off interest in order to save from pain.

May be a stepping stone in the relationship, only time will tell. I just know that all couples when faced with a long seperation go thru a similiar cycle.

[smitty420]

i really want to thank everyone for the help. The fact that you all took time out of your day to help a random 18 year old in florida about a relationship is remarkable. There is one part of our breakup that is eating me alive inside. She told me shes still in love with me and loves me but cannot be with me. That is killing me because i still deeply love her and i know she loves me back and i cant be with her. I almost wish she told me she fell for another guy or lost interest in me it would probably be less painfull.

[Jim Morrison]

thanks, has anyone ever had a succesful relationship as like a best friend with an ex. I cant bring myself to move on and totally forget about her and i wanna know if its possible to be close with an ex in a non sexual/romance way.

im currently in a best friend with a girl you can consider my ex its shitty cause i still love her so much but shes so stupid and dosent realize it shes been hurt so many times and she claims shes never been in love before so i cant help her i do know if i could go back to when she told me what we had was over and i first stoped being friends with her i should have never gone back so trust me you should just throw away her number and forget it youll feel better in the long run unlike me that has a broken heart and everytime i talk to her on the phone and hang up i want to cry cause she dosent say i love you good night anymore best bet is get rid of her

[Pipe Dreams]

Ocala is reeeel close to Gville we should smoke one up (or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 .....) when i go up to gville. My aim is rs2base78 if u wanna hit me up.

Yeah man, Ill match you every bowl dog, my AIM is JabaFart, hit me up sometime. I added you to my list, so when I see you on we;ll talk.

[smitty420]

pipe dreams hows the bud in the gville ocala area? I heard some good thigns about it. I dont know if i should brign some with me from down south or just reup when i get there. Nad jim morrison i know how u feel cuz im feeling it now. We talked this morning shortly and it hurts. i dont know i feel a little better today because im realizing that it woulda been so hard on both of us if we stayed together when i was in college. But i dont know i feel like i may b making a mistake by not trying one more time to get her back. She tells me she still loves me and i still love her, her aim profile says this " If its meant to be it will find a way..... Ryan you are the best thing that ever happened to me, we had our ups and downs but i want to thank you and I love you and care about u with all my heart <3" I mean i see that and i just wonder this cant be the right decision can it because we both are hurting and care about e.o. Im scared that i will never meet a girl that is as sweet or special as her and i dont wanna look back on this in the future thinking i made a huge mistake. Im torn right now between remaining close friends or trying one more time to get her back because it seems right.

[Jim Morrison]

if you really want her back you need to assure her that when you go to college your not going to find another girl cause thats probably her number one fear also assure her that youll visit her all the time dont mess with her head though if you plan on finding another chick at college dont waste your time or hurt her feelings it seems you both love eachother and you could probably stay together for a long time but you need to show her that first

[smitty420]

well its been almost a week, im still down in the dumps a little but my friends have really been there for me. They took me up to Orlando to party at UCF on satuirday nite which made me compelty forget about jamie for awhile. If she asked me today to get back together i would say no because i am sooo excited for all the girls in college. I want to start hooking up with her again but i dont know how to iniate that, i havnt seen her since the breakup but weve been talking everyday. This has probably been a blessing in disguise now i dont have the weight of a girlfriend 4h ours away when im up in college partying my balls off.

[SmokingPlatypus]

This has probably been a blessing in disguise now i dont have the weight of a girlfriend 4h ours away when im up in college partying my balls off.

That's actually the best way to look at it. I mean, do you REALLY want a girlfriend that you can't see just holding you down during your first year of college, where there's tons of girls that want to drink, smoke, and fuck?

[smitty420]

after my saturday nite in orlando i am starting to 4get any girl problems. And since itsu smmer there were only like 4000 people at shcool instead of 35000, i cant wait till the end of auagust!