make me laugh

[friendowl]

im high and kinda grouchy

a good joke a funny picture
anything

lets see whos the first to make me bust up

[josh g]

A guy went up to me and said "Statue"? And i'm like huh? And he's all like "Tissue!".

Get it???! HAhahahahah!!! OmFecknG!!!

[josh g]

If you don't get it, first he said "is that you?" then he said "it is you!!"

hahahah!!! it's not that funny i guess...

[josh g]

Ok, it's not funny AT ALL.

[da haze meister]

three blondes walk into a bar
you woulda thought that the third would have seen it

how do ya know yer at a redneck wedding
everyones on one side of the chapel

what do you call a bunch of tractors out side of an Arkansas mcdonalds
senior prom

how do you circumcise a redneck
kick his sister in the chin

any of those make you laugh?

[psychopixi]

how do you circumcise a redneck
kick his sister in the chin

any of those make you laugh?

I love that one!

Umm... funny pics...

[rastabill89]

Your Mama's so fat.

How fat is she?

Your mama is so fat her cholesterol is dangerously high and she is at risk of developing diabetes.

[HazardousToking]

All images and posts regaurding marijuana use or any thing related to illegal activity by myself or anyone on my username are either from a search website or hypothetically speaking. I don't participate nor condone any illegal activies and will not be held liable for anything that I or others say on http://www.cannabis.com.



What you dont find this as fucking hilarious as me??/

[crudemood]

a drum and a symbol fell off a cliff, but um..

a drum and a symbol fell off a cliff, butumche!

[friendowl]

haze
you got me to smile with them jokes
but im looking to bust my gut

[HazardousToking]

What do you call a petite girl with a yeast infection??


quarter pounder with cheese :)

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

What do you call a petite girl with a yeast infection??


quarter pounder with cheese :)


LOL ewww...!

Friendowl, cheer up my friend! I just found out my NEW sister in law is now doing internet adult porn type photos. Just like my EX sister in law. Both married to the same guy, my BIL. I'm starting to think he has a fetish or something... :confused:

[muncheemama]

this is my favorite joke....ive probably told it on here before..

whats the hardest part of eating vegetables....









wait for it










getting them out of the wheelchair....

[minnesota man]

I'm freakin busy but if friendowl wants something, I will make time to try.

Woman walks into an ice cream shop and says, "I would like a pound of vanilla, a pound of strawberry and a pound of chocolate."

Ice cream guy says, "Sorry ma'am. We're outta choclate."

She says, "O.K. I'll have a half pound of vanilla, a half pound of strawberry and a half pound of chocolate."

The guys says, "Ma'am, we don't have any chocolate."

She then says "Oh, then I'll have a quarter pound of vanilla, a quarter pound of strawberry and a quarter pound of chocolate."

The guy is mad. He asks, "Can you spell the van in vanilla?"

"V A N"

"Can you spell the straw in strawberry?"

"S T R A W"

"Can you spell the fuck in chocolate?"

"There is no fuck in chocolate."

---
If that doesn't work, have you ever heard of masterbation being refered as "punching the clown."

---
The butt cheeks joke was great I've been makin' people smile all over with that one.

[friendowl]

i aint feeling blue maryjane
but thanks
i just feel silly but no laughs

your brother or inlaw is a pimp
internet porn is a money maker
smart man bad husband

[PaRaNoIa]

I don't get it minnesota man..

I found that pretty lame actually..:p

[friendowl]

minnesota that was good
i got a crooked smile frm that

[HazardousToking]

I don't get it minnesota man..

I found that pretty lame actually..:p


there is no fuck-in(FUCKING) chocolate...


lol

it was good MM

[PaRaNoIa]

Oh..

Now I think it's even more lame.. I need to smoke another bowl, then I'll re-read it!!:D

[3rdEyeVision]

a girl with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach. a guy walks by and she asks him if he can hug her cause she's never bein hugged before, so he picks her up, hugs her and walks away. another guy walks by and she say can you kiss me cause Ive never been kissed before, he picks her up kisses her and walks away. another guy walk by and shes like can you fuck me Ive never been fucked before, so he picks her up, throws her in the water and yells YOUR FUCKED NOW BITCH!!!!! lol hahaha i love that one

[graph]

mmyep...

[muncheemama]

a girl with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach. a guy walks by and she asks him if he can hug her cause she's never bein hugged before, so he picks her up, hugs her and walks away. another guy walks by and she say can you kiss me cause Ive never been kissed before, he picks her up kisses her and walks away. another guy walk by and shes like can you fuck me Ive never been fucked before, so he picks her up, throws her in the water and yells YOUR FUCKED NOW BITCH!!!!! lol hahaha i love that one
thats awesome...:thumbsup:

[klonopin]

read this out loud







I AM SOFA KING WE TODD DID

[NightProwler]

the...

[klonopin]

gay

[klonopin]

still goin

[minnesota man]

If you wanna laugh look at closed doors profile pic

[OrangeKush]

Guess I'll give it a go.....

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on
her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry....

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

"Well, who in the heck is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."

[crudemood]

okay, what do you call a cow with no legs?

ground beef!

[Lethal G]

[attachment=o70971]

Enjoy :)

[Reefer Rogue]

MICHAEL JACKSON

[jamstigator]

I don't have a good joke, but I will tell you the story of how 2 grams of hash cost the U.S. government one million dollars.

I was in the Army, stationed in Turkey. I worked 24 hours on, 72 hours off with an Army chick. (Kick ass, eh? That's almost two 3-day weekends every week!) Well, I decided after watching Midnight Express one night (banned in Turkey) that I wanted to try some kickass Turkish hash, so I talked to a Turk friend of mine about it.

Getting a couple of grams of hash was waaaaay harder than I thought it would be, I guess because they like throw you in prison forever if you get caught with it. We drove around a lot, switched cars, finally ended up meeting a guy in a tea house who slipped me the hash. Looked good, smelled good, wasn't expensive (because the dollar was mighty compared to the Turkish lira).

So, the next time my shift is up, I bring the hash and me and the Army chick smoke it. And it is goddamn POTENT, we're just blazed off our asses. Our job was working at a nuke-proof facility way out in the middle of nowhere, keeping an array of (brand new) Racal-Vadic 50,000 watt HF transmitters going. Each shift, we'd clean the dust out of a transmitter, preventive maintenance stuff.

Well, we open up the front plate of transmitter #10, and I tell the girl I'm going to shut the power down to it so we can do our work. Well, she spaces out right at that moment and taps the bottom of the giant tube inside the case with a grounding rod. There is an enormous brilliant blinding flash of light which blinds us both, and we smell molten metal and plastic.

I tell the chick, if I can't see in 30 minutes I'm going to kill her, and they'll find my blind ass laying next to her corpse when the next shift arrives in the morning. But our vision slowly returns, and in 10 mins we're okay. The transmitter, brand new, cost $1 million. And it is not in good shape at this point. In fact, it looks kinda like someone took a flamethrower to its innards, melted shit everywhere. It's completely destroyed.

Obviously, we're scared as hell at this point, not knowing what could happen to us. On the plus side, the hash is all gone. I tell her to let me handle it when the next shift arrives, and we spend an uneasy night waiting for our shift to end. The next shift arrives, which includes my boss, and I tell my him, "Hey, transmitter 10 just went down, not sure what the deal is. Anyway, we gotta catch the bus back to Izmir, so good luck with that!" And we brazenly walk by, get on the bus, and get the hell out of there.

By the time it's time for our next shift, four days have passed, and they ask us a few questions, and we stick to our story: we don't know what happened, transmitter just went down right before our shift ended. They couldn't prove we did it, so that was that.

The lesson: don't work on powerful electrical equipment when stoned off your ass on hash!

[friendowl]

jamstigator
that was funny

[orangeman]

Boo :).

[muncheemama]

the american government=american taxpayers....thanks dude...

[bedake]

http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e78352JcfQJfpP

yay

[bedake]

This will deffinetly make you laugh!
WWW.wowomg.com

[JunkYard]

guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner.

"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.


"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.


The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).


That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.


"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."


"No problem," he says. And in they go.


The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.


As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.


So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.


"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.


Then, the thunder claps, and a few raindrops hit the window. The boyfriend immediately thinks about his new Harley, so he stands up, and pulls the vaselin out of his pocket.


Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, fuck it! I'll do the damn dishes."

:D

[go toke up]

This will deffinetly make you laugh!
WWW.wowomg.com
dude...... wtf?

[puffpuffand away]

Oh..

Now I think it's even more lame.. I need to smoke another bowl, then I'll re-read it!!:D

if u think this thread is so lame, why u keep poppin up here then...ur the lame 1...

[puffpuffand away]

this old indian chief wants to have sex with a pretty young squaw...he goes to the tradein post and asks for a rubber...the clerk gives him one...the old indian comes back the next day, and say rubber no good, ask for a better one...
the clerk asks him wants wrong...the old indian says, right nut went hum, left nut went hum, rubber went bang...
so the clerks gives him a much better rubber this time...
next day the old indian is back, sayin,rubber no good right nut went hum, left nut went hum, rubber went bang...
so the clerk goes in back and makes the old indian one out of an innertube...he gives it to the old guy, and says this one will work for sure...next day heres comes the old indian, and hes not happy...the clerk says whats wrong now...indian says rubber no good ...right nut went hum rubber went hum left nut went bang