watching someone die

[geonagual]

at this very moment I am watching someone die. He has stopped eating, drinking and has been prepared for death. He is not responding anymore and it is only a matter of time. At this point, I wonder what he is thinking. Is he in a happy place in his sub conscious mind or is his mind blank. I occasionally go into his room and give him some soothing words or ask if he needs anything or if he is hungry. No response, but I will keep trying until he takes his last breath. This will probably be in the next few days, I imagine, unless something drastically changes. BTW, he is 93 years old.

[benagain]

That's the most depressing thing I've heard all day. Nothing I can really say to make it better, but 'hang in there' I guess would be something.

[friendowl]

when i was younger a friends dad was dying at home
my homie calls me up crying and says "my dad's dying come now"
so i smoked a bong hit real quick and went a couple of houses down
i didnt feel high but when i stepped in the house everyone was crying
and saying there goodbye's.he was in a hospital bed in an empty room
with a bright light above him.when the smell of my weed that i just smoked
hit the crowd everyone was giving me dirty looks except the henry[friends dad].he was looking right at me with a look that i took as he wanted to smoke

maybe you should puff with the 93 year old guy

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

Geo, I'm so sorry for your impending loss... :( Being with someone as they take their last breaths can be a beautiful experience, as well as extremely sad. Keep doing what you're doing, soothing words, etc., and tell him he can go now. Sometimes the dying need permission to leave this world... Hang in there.

[Mnoutdoorz]

I'm so sorry to hear that stay strong. He seems very prepared so I'd imagine his mind is at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

[geonagual]

If that were an option I would
but it is not
he has all the comfort care medications he needs (morphine)
which I havent even given to him
cause I think his brain is past the pain of his impending death
I just wish he would drink some water

Hey Friendowl, you all set for Saturday? We will be on the 1st tram up at 8 am. We should be at the peak somewhere around noon.

[wholapola]

As a hospital worker, I see it a lot. For me, kids are by far the hardest to accept. I wish you well.

[geonagual]

Geo, I'm so sorry for your impending loss... :( Being with someone as they take their last breaths can be a beautiful experience, as well as extremely sad. Keep doing what you're doing, soothing words, etc., and tell him he can go now. Sometimes the dying need permission to leave this world... Hang in there.

That is the same thing the hospice people were saying. Just let them know everything is taken care of and let it go. He is not family to me, but I have gotten very close to him over the past few months. I have been with him 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. He took a turn for the worse a week ago and got worse everyday.

[geonagual]

But personally,
although it is sad to see someone die
it is also enlightening

I have always said and will continue to say it till the day I die

"everyone has to die"

and that is the truth ruth

[HazardousToking]

I feel where you comin from, I stayed by my grandpas death bed for the last 2 days he was alive. Its a very surreal experience and for awhile I felt like I had eaten some mushrooms because similiar thoughts starting popping in my head. Its an experience that isnt a fun one but its one that happens for a reason I believe. He was unconscious the last 2 days I was there, all you can do is just stick by their side and keep them what would seem comfortable. Even though he was unconscious I could tell ALOT was going on by his facial expressions. I was talking to the preacher and he said that he believes sometimes people hold on as long as they can because they subconsciously need to see someone for closure. The only person who hadnt visited him was my uncle and about an hour after he made it up heere from cali, my grandpa passed on.

Its rough but ya get through it and are better for it. Holdin my newborn nephew while sitting next to someone who was almost dead was one of the most unique experiences ive had.


Hang in there man, life is just showing you its natural process....

[LIP]

Im lucky, i've never really been in this position, but i remember my granddad was in hospital a week before my 10th birthday, and i didnt get to see him, but my dad said he wished me happy birthday, so i said to my dad to tell him i said thanks, but he died the next morning and i never even got to say thanks.

I still miss him cos me and him shared the same interests, and it turns out he smoked weed all his life, but i was to young to know what he was smoking in his pipe.

Im sorry man.

I dont really know what to say.

[geonagual]

To BobBong, I appreciate you un deleting this thread.
As of this morning, he is still in the same state he was in yesterday. He had only a few teaspoons of water during the night and choked on them. I shaved him this morning and changed his clothes so he looks good for all the vistors that will be coming by today. I still havent had to give him any of the morphine. He seems to be very peaceful. He has a catheter in, so you can see the color of his urine. It is starting to come out almost a brown. He is dehydrating big time. He kind of acknowledged me this morning when I was shaving. You could see expressions on his face when you ask questions.

[friendowl]

damn geo
your a good man
for doing what you do
it must suck to die alone

[E Man]

Bless you Geo, you've accepted one of the most important responsibilities with a sense of duty and honor that should be a benchmark for all of us. Seeing someone off is so..........I'd better stop now. Just had to let you know. God speed to your friend.

E Man

[the image reaper]

God bless you both, you for helping him, and him for preparing for that day we all will see ... :)

[birdgirl73]

To BobBong, I appreciate you un deleting this thread.
As of this morning, he is still in the same state he was in yesterday. He had only a few teaspoons of water during the night and choked on them. I shaved him this morning and changed his clothes so he looks good for all the vistors that will be coming by today. I still havent had to give him any of the morphine. He seems to be very peaceful. He has a catheter in, so you can see the color of his urine. It is starting to come out almost a brown. He is dehydrating big time. He kind of acknowledged me this morning when I was shaving. You could see expressions on his face when you ask questions.
Hey, Geonagual. Good to see this thread continuing once again. Sounds like his body's doing just what it needs to with the inability to take in water and the concentrated urine--gradually shutting down the input/output. That's really good news that he doesn't seem to need to morphine sulfate. If he wants moisture in his mouth, ice chips didn't seem to choke my grandfather as much as complete liquid--or you can make him a homemade glycerin swab (like a real big homemade Q-tip, only dipped in glycerin or just dampened with water). Sounds like he's moving toward the light with a nice friend nearby. I'll be eager to read your next update when it comes.

[daima]

at this very moment I am watching someone die. He has stopped eating, drinking and has been prepared for death. He is not responding anymore and it is only a matter of time. At this point, I wonder what he is thinking. Is he in a happy place in his sub conscious mind or is his mind blank. I occasionally go into his room and give him some soothing words or ask if he needs anything or if he is hungry. No response, but I will keep trying until he takes his last breath. This will probably be in the next few days, I imagine, unless something drastically changes. BTW, he is 93 years old.

Think Peace. 93, WOW! thats something to celebrate.:dance:
Hold his hand and feel the beauty.

dai*ma:stoned:

[geonagual]

Friday was a crazy day with all kinds of emotion and with the plot thickening. Well, his pastor came in and I excused myself for about 10 minutes. When I came back the pastor was singing over him. He finished up and walked out and said to me "only a few more days". He left, and I walked in to check on him. As I walked in he opened 1 eye and was looking from side to side. Checking to see if the pastor had gone. It was really funny. I couldn't believe it, he has come to. He was asking for water and I was putting half a teaspoon in his mouth at a time. Then he ate some mashed potatos, a little applesauce and was talking. Really softly, I could understand some of the words. I asked him "how do you feel" and he said "I feel like I am dying" I asked him if he wanted to die and he said "yes".

I will finish the rest of the stuff that transpired on Friday during the day today when I have more time.

[IanCurtisWishlist]

the best thing you can do for a dying person is to be with them, to give them cathersis and to let the person know you care. to spend your time with a dying person , giving them compassion, is the *most* compassionate thing one can do for any person. i see death as something we all share in common--you can't get out of life alive. it's something each human will go through. rather than seeing death as the ultimate tragedy, maybe we can look at it differently; the liberation of conscious from the tangible world. i've grown up around people dying, i was exposed to death at a very young age when my grandfather died in our house...

we will all soon join the dead. regardless of what you believe happens after we die, we can be sure that we will all experience it.

i feel it is important to empathise with the dying, to help them in coping. I would personally educate the dying person on the dying process, things which might be experienced (i.e. hallucinations), etc. but importantly, dying should not be a horrifying experience. we were born from nothing and we will become nothing once again. i think however, that you should be there to listen to the dying person. remember with them the good times you shared while you still can, and help the dying remember the good times they experienced in life.

[geonagual]

Well, it has been a few days since I have posted on this. I had the past two days off and took my cousin out to Vegas.
I am back now and my friend is still alive, barely. Unfortunately, he has started developing sores in different parts of his body and it is hard to keep the blood circulating cause he dosen't move to much. I try to conciously help him move into different positons to help with everything. He is still only using only 2 medications, ativan and morphine. That is mostly is to help with the anxiety and breathing. He is off and on with the eating and drinking, maybe 4 oz of water at the most and every bite brings him closer to aspirating. It is crazy. He is getting to a point where he is barely concious when he is awake. I guess this is all a part of the dying process. It is just sad to see that it takes so long.

Also, I have never mentioned it:

He has a no resusitate clause in his will, which basically says no life support systems. Even IV's for food.

[birdgirl73]

I have the same clause in my living will. If I'm that close to the end, I don't want even the basics except as necessary for my comfort (like water with which to take pills, assuming I can swallow).

It has surprised me on two occasions, my grandfather and my great aunt, how slow a process death can be. I rather hope my own end will come more quickly and in the middle of the night--a sudden, deadly stroke at the age of 115--so I don't linger. Or draw spectators.

Thanks for the update, Geonagual!

[daima]

I have the same clause in my living will. If I'm that close to the end, I don't want even the basics except as necessary for my comfort (like water with which to take pills, assuming I can swallow).

It has surprised me on two occasions, my grandfather and my great aunt, how slow a process death can be. I rather hope my own end will come more quickly and in the middle of the night--a sudden, deadly stroke at the age of 115--so I don't linger. Or draw spectators.

Thanks for the update, Geonagual!

I want to die quietly and peacefully in my sleep, and not screaming and crying like everyone else in the car.

dai*ma:stoned:

[Exclamation221]

I watched my dad die earlier this year. He had cancer for eight years. It was the most difficult moment of my entire life.

[birdgirl73]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Exclamation. Really sorry.

[geonagual]

Well, I wanted to go ahead and finish what I started with this thread. He did pass away on Saturday morning. He died with dignity and grace and I was there to witness it all and console him on his passing. Thanks for all the kind words from everyone. Last week was crazy with all this happening and my cousin in town. To Birdgirl, I send love to you for all that your doing for your sister. Peace

[birdgirl73]

Thanks, Geonagual. I'm sorry about your friend, but I really am glad you were there for him. Love to you, too, for having given him the support you did.

[Kryzco]

Sorry to hear about your loss, I have been in the same predicament

Its a hard thing to deal with

and I'm still dealing with it

I commend you on staying strong for your friend. There should be more people like you. At least he didn't die alone. I've learned how much that truly means to anyone who is dying.

I hope all is well for you

Much love to you

[Ganjasaurusrex]

A kind and reverent thing to do for a stranger. It did not go unseen.