Need help/info for my mom.

[horror business]

My mom just turned 53 on the 3rd of this month. She suffers from diabetis, (although it has been under control for quite some time) and a few years ago was diagnosed with rumatoid (sp) arthritus. She has EXPENSIVE pain medicine, that sometimes takes weeks to work, and sometimes doesn't even work. She grew up in the 60's and 70's and experimented with marijuana as a teenager and in her 20's. She works as a family counseler for young families, and before that, worked at the local courthouse, and worked as a nurse at a woman's health clinic. To summarize, she is a respectful adult, who loves helping people.

Thanksgiving 2004, my father and her husband for 20 some years passed away. Obviously she fell into a depression. Recently, she has begun dating, and met a great guy who used to be a hippie back in the day, and smokes marijuana to relax as he can't drink because of something with his liver. Because of my moms arthritus which can be so bad, that somedays she can't go to work because of it, her "gentleman friend" gave her a few joints to take home. She tried them, and she claims that it honestly helps her pain. She knows I smoke for recreational purposes, and thinks it's fine for teenagers to experiment, and just be kids. Some conservative people would look down on that, and think she is not being a responsible parent, which is the farthest from the truth.

Last week, our house was robbed, and all of her jewelry was stolen. The following day at work, she was crying, and hyperventating, due to her depression from the loss of my father, the fact that she was robbed, her pain from arthritus, etc... Today she was confronted by her boss who said something along the lines of "You've been acting different the past few years, and you aren't getting your work done on time. All you do is talk other co-workers about your problems and cry alot... You are being suspended from work for 3 days while we wait for the results of the drug test to cme back, which we would like you to take today." HER BOSS IS A BICTH. My mom is just going through a rough time in her life, and instead of her job being sympathetic, they order her a drug test, because of her obvious depression at work. She will be fired if she fails, and I have a feeling she will fail. She came clean and told her boss that she had tried smoking marijuana to alleviate the pain from her arthritus and that it seemed to work. She does not go to work high, she is just sad at work because of everything. The boss was a bitch and said "Well, no one will write you a prescription in this state. Move to california." in a sarcastic, and bitchy way. We live in the mid-west where it is illegal to possess, use, distribute, grow, etc... marijuana.

What could my mom do, so she doesn't lose her job? I use marijuana recreationally not to get messed up, as some people use drugs, but I use it because it enlightens me to my mind, and lets me enjoy senses much better. My mom uses it becaues it's the only thing that works for her pain. WHY THE FUCK IS IT ILLEGAL? Is there anyway to speed up the process for the legalisation of marijuana for medical purposes? That would be a step forward.... But I'm only 16, and there's not much I can do... I just think it's bullshit that a respecful adult (my mom) might lose her job, just because she uses the one thing that helps her...

There is NO reason marijuana should be illegal. It's a fucking plant...
Anyway, if my mom loses her job, she'll have to ifnd another one, and then on her references, they will just tell her new job that she got fired because she failed a drug test, and then it will make her look like a druggie, which she's not...
Should I suggest my mom join NORML, or some online medical marijuana club? It helps her, and I don't want her getting fired for it... What should I do?

[birdgirl73]

Hey, HB. Sorry to hear about your mom and the things she's going through. That's really an awful situation she's facing at work, and I'm not sure there is anything you can really do other than just be there for her. If her boss and her workplace object to grass and have a totally anti-drug policy, she may indeed be in trouble. But she can try a couple of things. Have her talk to the doc who treats her rheumatoid arthritis and ask him about recommending/prescribing medical MJ even if she's not in a state where it's legal. If it were on the record as being recommended--even after the fact--that might help the situation.

The other hopeful option is if she does test positive and they want to take disciplinary action against her, she may be able to preserve her job if she goes the route of contacting her employer's employee assistance program (EAP) for some counseling. Even extreme "anti-drug" employers who tend to take the attitude that a little grass constitutes a "drug problem" sometimes will let folks have one "strike," as it were, and go get some counseling as opposed to being fired. Let's hope her workplace is open-minded enough to have an EAP for employees who are having a rough time. If they don't offer this as an option, she should directly ask about that avenue. That's why EAPs are in place--to help folks.

I expect your mom could use some counseling help even outside of this work situation. She's got two serious illnesses, physical pain, and is also dealing with grief over the loss of a spouse and the violation of having been robbed. That's a lot of stuff to deal with. She would probably benefit greatly from doing some counseling and might well benefit from antidepressant therapy. If she has a professional role where she herself is a counselor to others, certainly she recognizes what constitutes clinical depression and would be open to getting treatment for it.

It it completely ridiculous for MJ not to be legal. Just absurd. I know this because I have a sister who's desperately sick with ovarian cancer and the chemo she's taking, and we're having to "break the law" to get her the help she needs. It ought not to be this hard. Yes. Join NORML. Write your state and federal congressional reps and senators. Read everything. Educate others. Arm yourself with knowledge. And keep being the patient, loving, supportive son it sounds like you are. Take care of yourself and let me know how things turn out! You're in my thoughts and prayers!

[horror business]

I really appreciate your support birdgirl73, and you, your sister, and family are in my thoughts as well. Fortunatly, she does see a therapist every other week, whom she really likes, as they were on some sort of child abuse commity in the past. For depression, my mom is taking effexor and has been for a long time. They don't always work though. For instance, I've been on Paxil for 3 years, and while it tremendously helped my anxiety, I still get depressed on occasions. To me, my mom is one of the most emotionally strong people in the world. Tons of people would have given up given those circumstances, but she still goes to work everyday, helps people, parents me, and still loves life, even though it's obviously hard for her to do. When she first started this job a few years ago, she won Employee of the Year or Most Hardworking Employee... (something like that). My moms arthritus is getting so bad, that she can't move her fingers at ALL on certain days. Part of her job involves typing up summaries of families she visits on the computer, which is really hard for her on some days. What I don't get is the mixed messages they are sending across to all of their employees. For instance, knowing that my mom had trouble typing, and knowing that she is a valuable employee, the company purchased a Voice-To-Text unit for her. It didnt' work that well, so my mom has fallen behind on writing up her evaluations. Then, they turn around and order her to get a drug and alcohol test for being seriously depressed at work?

My mom deserves a break from all of the stress in her life. What, with medical bills and all... They keep putting her on stronger and new medications that don't work. She is still in pain. When she smokes marijuana, her pain dissapears, and she is happy. I think she'd rather get a couple joints for free from her friend, or even buy an 8th at time for 25 bucks, than spend thousands and thousands a year on medication that just has terrible side effects that don't even work. If my mom fails her drug test, according to the companies policy, she'd be fired ASAP. One thing is, with all of the medication she's on, such as insulin for her diabetis, effexor for depression, and all of the pills she takes (she takes like 10 pills every morning, and has to have me open the bottle because she simply can't), it might throw off the drug test. But, she already admitted it to her boss that she tried it for her arthritus and it helps... I don't know if I can join NORML, as I'm only 16, but I'll show my mom the website. If only the government, DEA, and FDA would listen to people who clearly benefit from marijuana medically, maybe this wouldn't be a problem. It's just ridiculous how a plant that only helps is illegal. And it's even got me extremely upset, that my mom might lose her job if she fails her drug test. She's the farthest thing from a "druggie" or some sort of drug abuser. She is a responsible adult who smokes marijuana when she has it to help her pain.

If my mom writes to the congressional reps and senators, will she be arrested for admitting to smoking marijuana? If she fails her drug test, would the company contact the authorities? I know the laws apply to everyone, and the law probably doesn't care why people smoke marijuana, just the fact that it's illegal, but this just goes to show how absurd it is. My mom's all I have, and I don't want her to lose her job, and her reputation as the good person she is just for taking the medicine that works...

[Froggy Prophet]

moving to cali not an opion? id seriously think about your now smaller family trying to start over and possibly it might add to it if the place has/supports medical marijuana

[Moose101]

I think she might fall under category 2 in Canada.
severe form of arthritis | Severe pain
5 bucks a gram isn't so bad. I think they do everything humanly possible to increase the THC as well; so it's good shit. I'm pretty sure they took their seeds from what police confiscated and selected the best strain for cloning.

[birdgirl73]

Hey, HB. I was just wondering how things turned out for your mom at work? Did the results of the test come back? Is she OK?

[horror business]

Well, my mom passed her drug test. She found out yesterday... but, since she admitted to her boss that she smokes for her arthritus, she now has to go to Substance Abuse Counseling every week, for the rest of her employment. Her and I both think it's bullshit, but at least she didn't lose her job... She IS looking for other jobs in the area though. I just hope it becomes legal soon, for medicinal purposes...

[tootsie roll]

Well, my mom passed her drug test. She found out yesterday... but, since she admitted to her boss that she smokes for her arthritus, she now has to go to Substance Abuse Counseling every week, for the rest of her employment. Her and I both think it's bullshit, but at least she didn't lose her job... She IS looking for other jobs in the area though. I just hope it becomes legal soon, for medicinal purposes...


I saw in your post you are in the mid west? Wisconsin is supposed to be passing the mmj law soon. We will prolly be moving there.

[horror business]

I've noticed that several states have been massing the mmj law in the past year... Maybe this will waken up the government, because as far as I know, they are still busting people even for medical use when they have the states permission, because it's still a federal law... It's helping people everyday, yet they still don't see that.

[Mr.N]

Sorry to hear that man.. That blows, the boss should HAVE BEEN A LOT MORE UNDERSTANDING... Anyways tell us how it goes after a while..


Best Wishs

[willystylle]

There are ancient Shamanic practises which teach the brain to 'switch off' the pain receptors. Tibetan monks can sit in the snow for hours and actually sweat through meditation. Yoga and pilates are old practises which relieve muscle and joint pains, as well as promote a healthy lifestyle. Ever since penniciln(sp) was discovered there have been advances in medicines that no one ever thought possible.

Now try and convince me again why your mother should get marijuana for 'her' benefit. Just be fucking honest for once and tell everyone that if she did get a prescription, you'd smoke it all and leave her in pain again. Tell everyone here the truth - that you are a selfish sad little boy who would give your mother hell for a high. Ever heard of DISPRIN??? Try and tell me that a professionally qualified doctor, who has been studying for 10 years in medical school, can't recommend anything else than cannabis. Schmuck.

[Peach.Optimo.Bluntz]

There are ancient Shamanic practises which teach the brain to 'switch off' the pain receptors. Tibetan monks can sit in the snow for hours and actually sweat through meditation. Yoga and pilates are old practises which relieve muscle and joint pains, as well as promote a healthy lifestyle. Ever since penniciln(sp) was discovered there have been advances in medicines that no one ever thought possible.

Now try and convince me again why your mother should get marijuana for 'her' benefit. Just be fucking honest for once and tell everyone that if she did get a prescription, you'd smoke it all and leave her in pain again. Tell everyone here the truth - that you are a selfish sad little boy who would give your mother hell for a high. Ever heard of DISPRIN??? Try and tell me that a professionally qualified doctor, who has been studying for 10 years in medical school, can't recommend anything else than cannabis. Schmuck.

Dude whats your trip man, This kid is just trying to ask for advice and opinions for there shitty situation. Any ways i hope things look better for you hb!, just keep good faith and in the end you two will be ok!. And willystylle i my self never heard of DISPRIN... :rolleyes:.

[horror business]

Now try and convince me again why your mother should get marijuana for 'her' benefit. Just be fucking honest for once and tell everyone that if she did get a prescription, you'd smoke it all and leave her in pain again. Tell everyone here the truth - that you are a selfish sad little boy who would give your mother hell for a high. Ever heard of DISPRIN??? Try and tell me that a professionally qualified doctor, who has been studying for 10 years in medical school, can't recommend anything else than cannabis. Schmuck.

I don't know what your problem is with me; I don't believe I've ever talked to you before, and I find you to be extremely rude. My mother benefits from marijuana. It helps her pain at a fraction of the cost than paying for expensive pills that don't work as well and/or have severe side-effects that furthers my mom's pain. We obviously both smoke marijuana. Where we live, it's still illegal for her to get a prescription, and you know what else? I can get my own pot, and I usually have pot at least 4 days out of the 7 days of the week. I'm not here to start a battle with you, because I honestly (Until this point) had no problem with you whatsoever. And by the way, I looked up Disprin. It pretty much is just asprin. Ever heard of people being allergic to asprin?

Now, to everyone else who has been kind and supportive. Yesterday my mom was terminated from her job. See, here's what happened. Yesterday she was supposed to have her first substance abuse class. Now, she obviously thought it was ridiculous, and privately told a co-worker that she feels her rights have been violated and she plants on getting a lawyer. That trustworthy "friend" went to the boss with that information. A few hours later, the boss called my mom, told her it wouldn't be necessary for her to go to Substance Abuse Counseling, and asked her to come into the office as she has something to discuss with my mom. Well to make a long story short, they fired her once they found out she was going to take legal action. At first, I thought that sounded shady, but apparently it's an "at will" state, which means that a company has the right to fire whoever they want, as long as it doesn't interfere with discrimination regarding age, sex, gender, race, sexual orientation, disability, etc. So, my mom is now looking for another job.

I want to thank everyone who's been kind and has given advice.
Peace,
horror business :rasta:

[birdgirl73]

I'm so sorry that's the way it worked out, Horror Business. You're a caring, kind son, and I know this must be a rough, rough time for both her and you. If there's anything a perfect stranger can do to help the situation, I hope you'll let me know. I'll be sending positive thoughts to her and to you. Sounds like her employer was out to get her from the start, doesn't it? I'm real sorry.

[Peach.Optimo.Bluntz]

yeah man, sorry it turned out that way!. Im sure god will smile down on her soon.

[robert42]

Hey HB i cant help u on this matter

but i just wanna say good for u for lookin 2 help ur mother, i hope ur mother feels better too life i a bitch!

i really do hope it all works out for u

please keep us posted :)

All the best
ROBERT

[Khronic]

Thats a rough deal dude, i hope it works out for you. That kind of employer doesnt deserve to be an employer of anyone at all. What someone want's to go home and do , and in her case, too feel better due to severe pain, who care's its none of there buisness.

Hope it works out dude.

Travis

[DonnieDarko]

I'd suggest that she talk to a lawyer. I'm not sure that they can force her to go to substance abuse counseling, after a test is clean. I don't believe that just saying you've smoked in the past is enough to mandate counseling.

Also, it is clear to me that your mom is and will continue to be harassed by management. If a lawyer agrees that she has a case, they might work for a percentage of the damages.

Whatever you do, make sure you continue to help her as much as possible. She is under alot of stress, and has lost much of her support system. Assure her that she'll get through this. Life is hard sometimes, but there are great rewards once you overcome the hurdles.

[horror business]

Something I forgot to mention, that my mom has been thinking about alot lately.

She has no proof of it, but she was the oldest worker there. That never used to be the case. The other older employees didn't want to put up with the bullshit that the company was giving them and quit or fired for stupid things.

My mom said that lately the company has been "catering" to the newest and youngest employees. For instance, the new employees are the ones getting the raises, and are the ones being praised. Before this happened, the older employees loved their job. Some of my mom's co-worker friends have noticed this, but never thought much of it. There is only one "Older" employee working there now, who is 52. The rest are at least 10 years younger.

Like I said, my mom has no proof that it's age discrimination, but she feels that her age could have been a part of it.

On a lighter side, my mom is looking forward to toke up again now that she doesn't run the risk of random drug tests, and substance abuse counseling.

She's taking this week to relax and work around the house with gardening and such, and over the weekend and next week she's going to begin her search for a new job.

One thing that is hard for my mom, is that her clients absolutely adored her. She is also not aloud to contact her clients and inform them of her termination of employment, so that will suck for them. Especially the type of job my mom has, being a family counselor, her clients got to know my mom and open up to them. Now, they will have a new person and have to start all over again.

Thanks again to everyone who's kept my mom's situation in their thoughts, and for all of the kind words. I'll keep you guys posted and all.

Peace,
horror business :rasta: