Can you give your self a blowjob with a vacuum cleaner?

[rastabill89]

Have any of you guys ever tried this? does it work?

[Wesley Pipes]

i wouldnt advise it, i used to have a strange but true story book and one of the stories a guy tried that and had his bits chopped off by the vacuum fan lol

[Garden Knowm]

Rasta you should definitley try IT. and report back to us...

You should also make a super thick... super thick frothy drink in a blender.. and the stick your dick in the blender and see if the swirling motion can get you to bust a NUT..

I will be waiting for your response..

thank you

love

[slipknotpsycho]

no....damn go get some pussy lmao... =p

[MaryJaneScott]

i wouldnt advise it, i used to have a strange but true story book and one of the stories a guy tried that and had his bits chopped off by the vacuum fan lol

Are we suppose to believe that you READ that in a book? This is NOT a personal experience??


LOVE! :)

[cannabis campbell]

If you are desperate then get a hooker

[TheLion]

If you are desperate then get a hooker
Hilarious, but true words of wisdom.

[Skink]

Very Kool topic,it caught my eye and amused me...

I guess you could do worse,just make sure you don't have a Flowbee attached to the vac...

[cannabis campbell]

Lmao

[MechAnimal]

This book you speak of, does it happen to the be darwin awards?

[Reefer Rogue]

Remember doofy from scary movie? :cool:

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

ahahaha, hmmmm. Yeah, i think you need to get out more and stop spending so much time with ya vac.

and haha yea, doofy. "I SAID DON'T DISTURB ME WHEN IM CLEANING MY ROOM!"

[Kid Dynamite]

only if its a dyson.

[LIP]

Woah. Yeah i remember Doofy lol!

Dude, please dont tell me your serious...

A vacuum? AHHHHHHH!

No way man, get a wet pussy and bust a nut in that, not in some pipe that sucks up dust...

[Hollandica]

I think I'd rather eat a cubic decimeter of resin and tar.

[Not Enough Herb]

lol


























lol i hope this is a joke

later

[weezy]

watecer happened to havin sex with women???
am i being old fashioned here or something....

your a very disturbed man,you shouldnt even be entertaining the thought of fuckin a vacume cleaner

i would advise you to try a pair of bagpipes
it would be like havin sex with an octopus,theres plenty of holes to blow on and put your dick in and its not as dangerous as a vacume

go on and play us a tune

[God v2.0]

well id assume that your dick is a little too small to worry about plugging the hose and the vac would start to build up pressure and eventually pop your dick like a water balloon full of ketchup.

[Pichacho]

This book you speak of, does it happen to the be darwin awards?

yeah, i read that in the darwin awards too. its a great book;)

[cannabis campbell]

watecer happened to havin sex with women???
am i being old fashioned here or something....

your a very disturbed man,you shouldnt even be entertaining the thought of fuckin a vacume cleaner

i would advise you to try a pair of bagpipes
it would be like havin sex with an octopus,theres plenty of holes to blow on and put your dick in and its not as dangerous as a vacume

go on and play us a tune

Lmao

[Skink]

I did a search and came up with this...

[dog420]

Haha imagine that!.....stuck in a hospital with a hovver attatched to your penis!!

Have a good one ;)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Have any of you guys ever tried this? does it work?

Being as a vacuum cleaner S U C K S , you may wanna plug it in back wards?
Just make sure the ends are up ok?
Personally, it cleans my house very well when it sucks , but when it blows............ummm i dunno, ya feel me?
:pimp: :rasta:

[yoda]

I think I'd rather eat a cubic decimeter of resin and tar.

nah i think id rather get my dick sucked by a hoover

[Big Calhoun]

LOL!!! Oh this brought back horrid memories....not of myself you dirty buggers. I used to work at an amusement park and there was this kid that worked for me. He wasn't Fabio...but he wasn't Shabba Ranks either. Low self esteem was his biggest obstacle. Anywho, I took him out for a drink one day and he's telling me about different ways he masturbates. One of which included sticking his thing thing in a shampoo bottle!!!!!!!!!! I was like, 'What!?!?!?'. I'm no Ron Jeremy, but my stuff would not fit into the opening of a shampoo bottle.

But to the OP. It's not something I would want to try (besides, I'm married...poon-tang on call!). I'd be more concerned about dust and whatnot getting in my stuff. You need to go to the hood, stand on a corner with with 10 bucks in your hand, and someone (male or female, lol) will eventually come by and be able to fulfil your needs. You might even be able to talk them down to 5 dollars!!

[Powder Puff]

Are you sick or something?

[Pure]

I think that's a great idea, you should stick your johnson in the hoover and go for it, i reckon you should aim to bust your nut before your entire dick gets torn off... Now THERE'S a target!
Pure.

[partyguy420]

go get a girl that kicks ass at givin BJs, and has nice tits, a tight pussy, and a huge ass(black sized prefred) just leave deb alone cause shes my perfect women acording to the list above.

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

I think that's a great idea, you should stick your johnson in the hoover and go for it, i reckon you should aim to bust your nut before your entire dick gets torn off... Now THERE'S a target!
Pure.

lmao. Dick getting torn off by hoover. Great image in my mind now lol

[cannabis campbell]

Lol rastabill is doofy!

[Midnight Baker]

AHAHAHAHA wow


...wow...

no.

[SensiRide]

Just get on with it and let us know how it was ;)

[minnesota man]

Don't do it.

It was a long time ago, but I did try it. Damn near ripped my dick off. Scared the shit out of me.

[Wesley Pipes]

Don't do it.

It was a long time ago, but I did try it. Damn near ripped my dick off. Scared the shit out of me.
hahahahahahahaha plz tell me tour not serious lmFao!!!!!

[OtterPop]

Don't do it.

It was a long time ago, but I did try it. Damn near ripped my dick off. Scared the shit out of me.


i hope a long time ago doesnt mean last week

[minnesota man]

You know when you put your hand up to the sucking end of the vacuum and how it sucks hard onto your palm. You can feel the tingly sensation as it sucks.

When youâ??re young and dumb sometimes you feel like doing weird things. You start to wonder about stuffâ??like what would it feel like to put my dick in the vacuum wand. Well thatâ??s what I did. It was a long time ago and a donâ??t remember all the specifics put I do believe I had an erection. I mean who would just put their flaccid penis into a vacuum wand. Thatâ??s stupid. So I just put it in there and bam-o. It sucked right up to the end of my dick creating that tingly sensation but this was much worse. It was like I didnâ??t know if it ripped my dick off. I had to pull the wand off and yeah my dick was fine. Whew. It hurt but I was alright. Anyway, thatâ??s my story. I bet someone that has posted on this thread already has tried it. Donâ??t lie.

[Big Calhoun]

LOL, so what were to happen if someone did this and in their panic, couldn't turn the vaccum cleaner off? How exactely do you explain that one?

[minnesota man]

That's simple. Your hands are already on the wand so your first move would be to pull the thing off. If that option feels iffy, turn the vacuum off. If someone or something is preventing that alternative, pull the plug but by that time you might be too late. Riiiiip.:D

[d00d989]

im going to start pimping out my vaccum now

[EbelEyes]

I heard a story about some guy who did this. Apparently his dick swelled up, and he couldn't get the tube off. So he had to go into the hospital and have the tube cut off.





But if you really want to try it, well by all means go right ahead!

[likemclever]

It was a long time ago and a donâ??t remember all the specifics put I do believe I had an erection. I mean who would just put their flaccid penis into a vacuum wand. Thatâ??s stupid.

........rofl.




People always forget they can just pull the plug :thumbsup: it's good to see that your witts managed to survive your young adulthood.

[paparose]

I heard that masturbating with sand paper is lots of fun, anyone up for this

[Pure]

Has anyone thought of putting a toilet roll (no paper) on the end as a sort of extension, to stop and nobs being chopped?
Pure.

[cloudsurfer]

LOL What the hell..

[BobBong]

Ok... I sold and repaired vacuum cleaners for 2 years ... i know pretty much anything there is to know about North american vacuums.. from Hoover's to Eureka's and FilterQueen's.

I don't suggest trying this....I've heard quite a few horror stories about permanent damage that can be done.

There's a reason we have two hands, one for the porn, one for the pork.

[Psycho4Bud]

Ok... I sold and repaired vacuum cleaners for 2 years ... i know pretty much anything there is to know about North american vacuums.. from Hoover's to Eureka's and FilterQueen's.

I don't suggest trying this....I've heard quite a few horror stories about permanent damage that can be done.

There's a reason we have two hands, one for the porn, one for the pork.

Hey BB,

Did ya ever sell any of these vacs? LOL

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

Hey BB,

Did ya ever sell any of these vacs? LOL

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

ahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There ya go rastabill, go get one of them and ur sorted.

[dog420]

Hey BB,

Did ya ever sell any of these vacs? LOL

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

LMFAO!!

Good find Psycho :thumbsup:

Peace

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

THIS is a funny thread. :)

How about something like this?

[Bong30]

im going to start pimping out my vaccum now
a wig, some vasaline, a pair of heels,? what ya got in mind?

[Skink]

I was just thinking "Dangerous" about the air compressor in my garage,anybody wanna try air burns on the old shaft???...

[weezy]

THIS is a funny thread. :)

How about something like this?

hey mj can i rent that thing off you for about 15 20 minutes???

:thumbsup:

[rastabill89]

I didnt know this thread was going to become so popular

[hahaitsdoogle]

so howd it go