Proper Blowjob Etiquitte

[BloodyRedBarron]

Proper Blowjob Etiquitte Blowjob Etiquette (by a female) 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. 5. My ears are NOT handles. 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head we're bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now. 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV. 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

A Man's thoughts on Fellatio aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male) 1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will. 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you? 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair. 5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up! 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me. 7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country. 8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth. 9. Play with the balls. 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. 11. Caress the ass, too. We like that! 12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep". 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

[weezy]

wat would a woman know about proper blow job etiquette


dont stop suckin and swallow that b4 i punch the fukin back of your head out off you,once the bitch knows your not afraid to stick a scissors or something into the back of her neck then she will suck it however u want from then on

its a mans world and women are only good for suckin and fuckin,

lets face it women nowadays are all sluts and they all cheat and lie more then any men ever did so treat them mean and keep them keen

im callin that shit "the proper relationship etiquette"

[EvilFetusEater]

wat would a woman know about proper blow job etiquette


dont stop suckin and swallow that b4 i punch the fukin back of your head out off you,once the bitch knows your not afraid to stick a scissors or something into the back of her neck then she will suck it however u want from then on

its a mans world and women are only good for suckin and fuckin,

lets face it women nowadays are all sluts and they all cheat and lie more then any men ever did so treat them mean and keep them keen

im callin that shit "the proper relationship etiquette"


Dude, that's really...wow. I hope that was a joke. If not, don't be surprised if women cheat on you or lie to you.

[MaryJaneScott]

Dude, that's really...wow. I hope that was a joke. If not, don't be surprised if women cheat on you or lie to you.

... or attempt to sever certain parts of your body while you sleepâ?¦

[EvilFetusEater]

... or attempt to sever certain parts of your body while you sleepâ?¦

Haha, yes, Lorena Bobbit comes to mind... :thumbsup:

[SensiRide]

wat would a woman know about proper blow job etiquette


dont stop suckin and swallow that b4 i punch the fukin back of your head out off you,once the bitch knows your not afraid to stick a scissors or something into the back of her neck then she will suck it however u want from then on

its a mans world and women are only good for suckin and fuckin,

lets face it women nowadays are all sluts and they all cheat and lie more then any men ever did so treat them mean and keep them keen

im callin that shit "the proper relationship etiquette"

Haha are you for real? If you are, then I feel sorry for you!

[geonagual]

wat would a woman know about proper blow job etiquette


dont stop suckin and swallow that b4 i punch the fukin back of your head out off you,once the bitch knows your not afraid to stick a scissors or something into the back of her neck then she will suck it however u want from then on

its a mans world and women are only good for suckin and fuckin,

lets face it women nowadays are all sluts and they all cheat and lie more then any men ever did so treat them mean and keep them keen

im callin that shit "the proper relationship etiquette"



Hmmmmmmm...........sounds and looks familiar

[weezy]

Dude, that's really...wow. I hope that was a joke. If not, don't be surprised if women cheat on you or lie to you.

come on man just look at ur name............

im hardly goin to hit a girl while my dick is in her mouth but i think its true that the majority are sluts nowadays

:thumbsup:

[poorprincess]

that stuff doesn't apply to everyone.
My female perspective:

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
-but I like doing it

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
-I dont worry about if he's greatfull or not, I know he is.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
-i do lots of stuff they dont do in the porn video so I dont have to worry about him asking for anything special. (sometimes he does and I dont really mind)

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
-no I dont have to swallow, in fact if you bitch about it I'll spit it back on you and let you get your own damn towel.

5. My ears are NOT handles.
-but my hair is

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
-no gag reflex, not anorexic. And I like that forcefull shit.

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
-that has never happend but if it did I would agree with this rule.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head we're bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
-it does piss me off that men think that since we cant fuck them we have to blow them during our monthly. I dont HAVE to. I might though cuz I get horny...

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
-I sort of believe that blue balls stuff since every guy I ever talked to about sex told me it was absolutely true. But I do not believe it can happen in like three days.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
-i'll make it better.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
-some times I WANT to be left alone when I'm done with you. I kind of enjoy that used feeling.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
-Agreed.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
-actually it has more than just protien. It's got some vitamins in it too. Actually it's less healthy for him to cum than it is for you to swallow because he's giving up those vitamins.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
-but porn is ok as long as I like it too.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
-i dont mind being bragged about. But since I'm providing this wonderfull thing for you, maybe you shouldn't complain when I dont do it all the time.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
-less I feel like it cuz it's fun and it puts you in a good mood.

[Not Enough Herb]

wat would a woman know about proper blow job etiquette


dont stop suckin and swallow that b4 i punch the fukin back of your head out off you,once the bitch knows your not afraid to stick a scissors or something into the back of her neck then she will suck it however u want from then on

its a mans world and women are only good for suckin and fuckin,

lets face it women nowadays are all sluts and they all cheat and lie more then any men ever did so treat them mean and keep them keen

im callin that shit "the proper relationship etiquette"

lmao

now thats funny

later

[weezy]

i like everyone of ur answers to your rules poorprincess

your bf is certainly very lucky with ur attitude to that stuff

why arent more chicks like that

[slipknotpsycho]

-no I dont have to swallow, in fact if you bitch about it I'll spit it back on you and let you get your own damn towel.

shit, i could careless, atleast it's going in your mouth..... if spitting it back on me, would get in my wife's mouth in the first place, lol... so be it..


6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
-no gag reflex, not anorexic. And I like that forcefull shit.

please help my wife get rid of hers? :confused:

[orangeman]

wat would a woman know about proper blow job etiquette


dont stop suckin and swallow that b4 i punch the fukin back of your head out off you,once the bitch knows your not afraid to stick a scissors or something into the back of her neck then she will suck it however u want from then on

its a mans world and women are only good for suckin and fuckin,

lets face it women nowadays are all sluts and they all cheat and lie more then any men ever did so treat them mean and keep them keen

im callin that shit "the proper relationship etiquette"

Lol I love you xD.

[poorprincess]

please help my wife get rid of hers? :confused:

I did have it for a long time. Hahha your wife wont like this but the only way to make it go away is practice.

[poorprincess]

I'm really bored so just for fun heres my rebuttal to the mans rebuttal

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
-good luck finding someone:
younger(inexperienced)
prettier(a prettier face does not a good dick sucker make)
dirtier(like I said, good luck)

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
-I prefer to give than to recieve anyway, but since I usually end up in a pattern something like, (suck-fuck-suck) I know what I taste like and it aint bad.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
-no

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
-but I LIKE it if you pull my hair. Leave my ears alone thats weird.

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
-if you left out all that stuff about me bitching and moaning and you just said something like "on your knees bitch" that might work better.

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
-i do

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
-i think I already addressed this one.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
-thats true

9. Play with the balls.
-lick, suck, fondle

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
-no you have not

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
-ok

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
-if I get alot of exersize fucking you and suckin your dick over the years I wont get fat

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
-or i could just spit it on you

[LIP]

lmfao, very good, who wants to give me a blow?

[slipknotpsycho]

is your penis purple and green?

[muncheemama]

in my experience, the less a guy feels entitled to recieve, the more they get. Being grateful is not a bad thing. And until you have tasted it, dont say its not that bad... and if you fart, you can forget about finishing with me in the same room, ill leave you to wallow in your own stink and fluids...ewww
and for gods sake...wash your balls or at least dont expect that after your morning jog. balls smell worse than ANYTHING on my body..

[friendowl]

this is a funny one

[willystylle]

Penis breath - is what you get
when your lover gives you head
lick it, suck it, bite it, play
cum on my face every day

my revenge is coming near
its your turn to pleasure me dear
go down on me, heres the drag
lick me dry - i'm on the rag.