GHoSToKeR
09-07-2004, 05:00 AM
About half an hour ago I smoke a joint, finished it, then did a shottie. I'm pretty high. After being paranoid of someone trying to break into my house I decided I was hungry. Pretty damn hungry, actually. After a long and perilous adventure, on which I overcame many obstacles and bravely smote anything that was looking for a good smoting, I made it to the kitchen. I was feeling fussy, and the only thing in the kitchen that appealed to me was some fried eggs.
I heated up the frying pan, and in the mean time I rolled a joint on the table. Naturally it took me a while, because the fridge magnets were making fun of me. I then cracked open two eggs onto the frying pan and watched. One exploded in my face. The other egg must have seen what had just happened to me and could sense my anger, because it decided that exploding in my face would probably be a silly thing to do. Instead, it shrivelled up like it was trying to keep itself warm. Maybe this is what it was doing, but I doubt it, as it was on a frying pan, and was quite probably hot enough. Anyway, I was left with one exploded egg and one shrivelled egg, which I swiftly deposited in the bin. The bin didn't say how they tasted, but it didn't complain, which can only be a good thing.
I cracked two more eggs into the frying pan and turned round to light my joint. During the time my back was turned, the eggs decided it would be funny if one of them hid. One of them hid. I turned back to the eggs, and didn't find it quite as funny as the eggs probably thought I would. Actually, having an egg walk out on you in the middle of a frying is probably one of the least funny thing that could happen to a person. I laughed anyway, congratulated the remaining egg on a well executed practical joke, and informed it that if the missing egg would be so happy as to return to the frying pan, I would be extremely grateful. As you may have guessed, this didn't happen. What did happen whilst I was waiting for the other egg to return, was that the remainging egg, in what I can only assume was an effort to cheer me up, proceeded to burst into flames. Needless to say, at this point I wept.
Eggs number 5 and 6 sizzled away quite nicely, in fact, they sizzled away in a manner which I thought was quite the right manner in which eggs should sizzle away, so I sat down and re-lit the joint. When I turned to the eggs a few minutes later, they had not only sizzled away nicely, they had also decided to start an Interpritive Dance session. This beffudled me. I then realised that what I thought to be an Interpretive dance, was, in fact, the eggs about to explode in a much more violent manner than the first egg. I located the nearest bin, which informed me that the last two eggs were pretty nice considering the standard of food bins normally getand would I pass him the ketchup this time, and threw the last two eggs in the bin.
Then I made a sandwich.
I heated up the frying pan, and in the mean time I rolled a joint on the table. Naturally it took me a while, because the fridge magnets were making fun of me. I then cracked open two eggs onto the frying pan and watched. One exploded in my face. The other egg must have seen what had just happened to me and could sense my anger, because it decided that exploding in my face would probably be a silly thing to do. Instead, it shrivelled up like it was trying to keep itself warm. Maybe this is what it was doing, but I doubt it, as it was on a frying pan, and was quite probably hot enough. Anyway, I was left with one exploded egg and one shrivelled egg, which I swiftly deposited in the bin. The bin didn't say how they tasted, but it didn't complain, which can only be a good thing.
I cracked two more eggs into the frying pan and turned round to light my joint. During the time my back was turned, the eggs decided it would be funny if one of them hid. One of them hid. I turned back to the eggs, and didn't find it quite as funny as the eggs probably thought I would. Actually, having an egg walk out on you in the middle of a frying is probably one of the least funny thing that could happen to a person. I laughed anyway, congratulated the remaining egg on a well executed practical joke, and informed it that if the missing egg would be so happy as to return to the frying pan, I would be extremely grateful. As you may have guessed, this didn't happen. What did happen whilst I was waiting for the other egg to return, was that the remainging egg, in what I can only assume was an effort to cheer me up, proceeded to burst into flames. Needless to say, at this point I wept.
Eggs number 5 and 6 sizzled away quite nicely, in fact, they sizzled away in a manner which I thought was quite the right manner in which eggs should sizzle away, so I sat down and re-lit the joint. When I turned to the eggs a few minutes later, they had not only sizzled away nicely, they had also decided to start an Interpritive Dance session. This beffudled me. I then realised that what I thought to be an Interpretive dance, was, in fact, the eggs about to explode in a much more violent manner than the first egg. I located the nearest bin, which informed me that the last two eggs were pretty nice considering the standard of food bins normally getand would I pass him the ketchup this time, and threw the last two eggs in the bin.
Then I made a sandwich.