I hate the Search function...

[turtle420]

Sooooo... I was wondering...

What does MH stand for?
What does HPS stand for?
Which is for what?
Can I flower with MH?
What does 12/12 mean?
Can I grow hydro in soil?
What's a CFL?
What does "CFM" mean?
How can I germinate?
How do I clone?
What does a male look like?
Can I smoke males?
Which are the best nutrients?
What does pH stand for?
Why did my MH explode in my HPS ballast?
How do I build a cool tube?
Will the plants smell?
Can I smoke the leaves of my 2week old plant?
HOW MUCH WILL I HARVEST?
Can I grow under a skateboard?
Can I grow inside a 1gallon paint can?
What's SCRoG?
What's LST?
What's topping?
Who's FIM?
Why are they curling?
Does Mylar really work?
How long does it take to flower?
What's the best humidity %?
HOW MUCH WILL I HARVEST?
What's an air pump?
What's an air stone?
Can I piss on my plants?
How can I use CO2?
Why doesn't anybody reply?
Does music affect plant growth?
Can I grow under my bed?
Why 18/6?
How many lumens/sq.ft.?
What's a watt?
Does CO2 kill?
Why doesn't anybody reply to my 13 new threads?
ZANDOR! HELP! Q's?
Can I use Miracle Grow?
What's the best pot size?
How do I order seeds?
Anybody ordered from Osama-seeds?
Anybody use their credit cards?
Can I smoke the males?
What does a male look like?
Can I drink bong waters?
What's "ppm"?
What does "gpm" mean?
Will it smell?
How many pounds will I get?
What's DWC?
What's an aerocloner?
What's a bubbler?
What's Rubbermaid?
What nutrients do I use?
How can I fix my dog's chewing-mess?
Can I grow with a Halogen?
Can light hit the roots?
What strain would you pick?
Can I grow inside a shoe?
Can I use batteries to power my lights?
Why do I hate the SEARCH function?

[Swizzy89304]

Wonder no more.


Sooooo... I was wondering...

What does MH stand for?
Metal Halide
What does HPS stand for?
High Power Sodium
Which is for what?
Errr...
Can I flower with MH?
You sure can.
What does 12/12 mean?
12 hours on, 12 hours off (light).
Can I grow hydro in soil?
No. Hydro is another world compared to soil. For a start, hydro doesnt use soil!
What's a CFL?
Compact flourescent - a type of bulb.
What does "CFM" mean?
???
How can I germinate?
Get some paper towel/cotton wool, dampen it, stick seed inside in a warm, dark place for 24-48 hours. Place between two upturned saucers. Sometimes takes up to a week.
How do I clone?
Cut a fan leaf with a couple of inches of stem, dab some rooting powder/gel on the end, plant, wait.
What does a male look like?
Males have balls, females have pubes. See pic.
Can I smoke males?
Yes, but youll need a lot of leaf and you wont get very high, if at all. Try cooking or making hash with males instead.
Which are the best nutrients?
Something with NPK levels of 15-30-15, 10-20-10 etc.
What does pH stand for?
Potential Hydrogen.
Why did my MH explode in my HPS ballast?
Because you need to buy a seperate ballast for HPS and MH. You can get ballasts that will take both bulbs. Another reason could be that the wattage of the bulb was too high for the wattage of the ballast.
How do I build a cool tube?
No idea.
Will the plants smell?
Yes, unless you build/buy a carbon scrubber, or you grow Lowryder.
Can I smoke the leaves of my 2week old plant?
If you want something that wont get you high in the slightest, yes. At 2 weeks of veg, NO trichomes are in the plant.
HOW MUCH WILL I HARVEST?
Depends on light, temps, nutes, strain... But with good care, anywhere between 14 grams and 4 ounces.
Can I grow under a skateboard?
Youre a retard.
Can I grow inside a 1gallon paint can?
Yes, as long as you put holes in it for drainage and clean all the paint residue off. However, it will build up heat as paint cans are metal.
What's SCRoG?
Screen of Green
What's LST?
Limited Stress Training. I think.
What's topping?
Cutting the new growth off so that the plant grows two main colas instead of one.
Who's FIM?
'Fuck I Missed'. Essentially the same as topping.
Why are they curling?
Because theyre sad. Underwatering, Overwatering, nutrient deficiency...
Does Mylar really work?
Yes. It reflects around 98% of the light, however it also build up heat.
How long does it take to flower?
Anywhere from a month to 4 months, depending on the strain. Sativas take longer to flower than indicas.
What's the best humidity %?
Veg: 40-50%. Flower: 20-30%
HOW MUCH WILL I HARVEST?
See above.
What's an air pump?
Something that pumps air.
What's an air stone?
An airy stone.
Can I piss on my plants?
Yeah, but only a little. Do it during flowering, 1oz to 10 gallons of water. Its high in nitrogen, which plants need during flowering.
How can I use CO2?
You can get CO2 blocks which dissolve in water and provide high CO2 levels for 8 hours.
Why doesn't anybody reply?
Because were busy smoking/wanking.
Does music affect plant growth?
No, but its nice to let them listen to some Bob Marley.
Can I grow under my bed?
Sure. As long as you have CFL's and LST the plant, you can train it to grow sideways.
Why 18/6?
Provides the plant with a cool down session (dark period), and the 18 hours of light has been proven to be the most efficient.
How many lumens/sq.ft.?
For a successful grow, at least 7,000.
What's a watt?
A measure of electricity.
Does CO2 kill?
Humans, yes. Plants, no. However, an environment with 100% CO2 will kill the plant.
Why doesn't anybody reply to my 13 new threads?
Because.
ZANDOR! HELP! Q's?
Yes. Indeedy.
Can I use Miracle Grow?
If you wanna kill your plant, yes.
What's the best pot size?
Depends on the size of the plant. Most people use a 1 gallon.
How do I order seeds?
Via homing pigeon, t'internet or mail-order. If you live somewhere where seeds are legal, they sometimes sell them at markets.
Anybody ordered from Osama-seeds?
I did. They grew beards and started to shout 'Allhu Akhbar!' all the freakin time. Theyre being kept at Guantanamo now.
Anybody use their credit cards?
I dont have one. But for what?
Can I smoke the males?
Above.
What does a male look like?
Above.
Can I drink bong waters?
It tastes fuckin rank.
What's "ppm"?
???
What does "gpm" mean?
???
Will it smell?
Above.
How many pounds will I get?
Above.
What's DWC?
???
What's an aerocloner?
???
What's a bubbler?
???
What's Rubbermaid?
A maid with a latex fetish.
What nutrients do I use?
Tomato feed works well, but something high in P is the best.
How can I fix my dog's chewing-mess?
Kill the dog, send the remains to a third world country. Help the kiddies! :dance:
Can I grow with a Halogen?
Hardly. Too much heat, wrong light spectrum.
Can light hit the roots?
Yeah, some people have no probs with light hitting the roots, some people do. Its all down to luck.
What strain would you pick?
LR x AK47, or Jack Herer.
Can I grow inside a shoe?
You need mental help.
Can I use batteries to power my lights?
If you know how to wire it up properly.
Why do I hate the SEARCH function?
Because youre an eegit.

[LIP]

Ok, i know your taking the piss turtle, but im gunner answer your questions... Im so fucked im bothering lol... enjoy.


What does MH stand for? Metal Halide.
What does HPS stand for? High Pressure Sodium.
Which is for what? MH=Vegging. HPS=Flowering.
Can I flower with MH? Yes, but not very well, plants need the red spectrum.
What does 12/12 mean? 12 hours light, 12 dark
Can I grow hydro in soil? No, point of hydro is to get rid of soil.
What's a CFL? Compact Flouresant.
What does "CFM" mean?
How can I germinate? Put your seed in a wet paper towel, keep warm.
How do I clone? Take cuttings.
What does a male look like? It has balls like me.
Can I smoke males? Yes, but not bud, however you can make bubble hash.
Which are the best nutrients?
What does pH stand for? How acidic/alkaline your soil/water is.
Why did my MH explode in my HPS ballast? MH need MH ballast.
How do I build a cool tube?
Will the plants smell? Yes
Can I smoke the leaves of my 2week old plant? Yes, but it will have no effect/
HOW MUCH WILL I HARVEST? Depends on growing conditions.
Can I grow under a skateboard? Well, i'll give it ago and get back to you!
Can I grow inside a 1gallon paint can? You can start your plants off, yes as long as theres no paint in it.
What's SCRoG? Screen Of Green
What's LST? Low-Stress-Training. You tie the plant down to make many growing tips.
What's topping? Topping... you gave yourself the answer
Who's FIM?
Why are they curling? You'd need details of grow.
Does Mylar really work? Yes, although i'd prefer to just paint the walls white.
How long does it take to flower? Most strains take 8 weeks, some sativas take longer. Ruderalis are auto flowering.
What's the best humidity %?
HOW MUCH WILL I HARVEST? You already asked.
What's an air pump? A pump tp pump air.
What's an air stone?
Can I piss on my plants? Yes, many people swear by it, but i dont wanna smoke my piss.
How can I use CO2? Put it in your grow room and it'll increase the ppm
Why doesn't anybody reply? I am goddamn you.
Does music affect plant growth? Well, I'm not sure, i talk to my plants, but thats not music.
Can I grow under my bed? If you have a very big bed yes, otherwise no, too short.
Why 18/6? This is the vegging cycle. 18 hours light, 6 dark, prevents flowering.
How many lumens/sq.ft.?
What's a watt? The amount of power drawn from the mains.
Does CO2 kill? Well only if that's all your breathing, although its not good for you in high doses.
Why doesn't anybody reply to my 13 new threads? Well im replying to this one arnt i?
ZANDOR! HELP! Q's?
Can I use Miracle Grow? Yes, but its known to be SHIT.
What's the best pot size? 5-10 gallon.
How do I order seeds? From a site, or go to a head shop.
Anybody ordered from Osama-seeds? Nope
Anybody use their credit cards? Nope
Can I smoke the males? I've already said yes, but only the leaves, not bud, because males dont produce bud.
What does a male look like? It has balls, not hairs like the female.
Can I drink bong waters? Yeah... Go try it. You'll soon see why no on else does.
What's "ppm"? Parts Per Million. Used when talking about Co2 enrichment.
What does "gpm" mean?
Will it smell? Yes
How many pounds will I get? I work in grams and ounces.
What's DWC?
What's an aerocloner?
What's a bubbler? Small water pipe.
What's Rubbermaid?
What nutrients do I use? Ones that dont kill plants.
How can I fix my dog's chewing-mess?
Can I grow with a Halogen? No, it has not got the right lumen output or spectrum.
Can light hit the roots? Yes, but its NEVER a good idea to do it on purpose for long times.
What strain would you pick? K2 without a doubt... And I'd grow hundreds of plants.
Can I grow inside a shoe? Yes. Although you'd have to transplant.
Can I use batteries to power my lights? Well, if you think it would work, go for it lol!!!!
Why do I hate the SEARCH function? ME? No idea.


Well i hope your happy, i answered most of them. I feel like a man now :)

[LIP]

Looks like me and Swizzy started to reply at the same time lol

[midlifecrisis]

A class on sarcasm starts in one hour, please have your fake ID ready for registration.

You will need two sharpened #2 pens and an eraser.

Sorry swizzy, but I think you have already failed.

[turtle420]

OMG!!!

You people actually replied... OMG.

LOL !!!!


A class on sarcasm starts in one hour, please have your fake ID ready for registration.

You will need two sharpened #2 pens and an eraser.

Sorry swizzy, but I think you have already failed.
Thanks for the clarification... LOL !!!!! AHAHAHAHAAA!!!

[mrabrego]

Funny shit

[turtle420]

You people actually replied...
But hey, don't worry... if every newb read this thread, questions in the boards will go down a projected 98%.

[LIP]

Indeed, i wish people would read things like this, and grow FAQ's before posting new threads just to ask things like:

Is this female or male?
When can i harvest?
What lights shall i get?
Can i smoke males?

It doesnt bother me that much, but it gets to me sometimes.

A little reading can go a long way... :)

[turtle420]

It doesnt bother me that much, but it gets to me sometimes.

A little reading can go a long way... :)
THAT's the thing!

I thought the same... man, I though:
I was also a newb... don't be rude... help them out...

But after one reads the same fucking question, posted THREE fucking times in EVERY fucking sub-section of the boards, every 3 weeks, one wants to snap and kill the newb.

Most impressive, to me, is when there's a question posted, and the dude comes in and posts the SAME question... Or when they post the same question in ALL sections... WAIT 24HOURS FOR AN ANSWER!!!

Again, it's great to help people, especially newbs that you can help start something... that is VERY rewarding... but man, for my mental sanity's sake, something has to be done...

[Zandor]

And I thought I needed a life.......lol

[busteruk7]

pmsl funny shit this thred had me in tears almost
and swizzy thats one way to put it What does a male look like?
Males have balls, females have pubes. :)

[Swizzy89304]

I cant believe I replied to all that, thinking he was being serious.

[turtle420]

I cant believe I replied to all that, thinking he was being serious.
Ahhh Swizzy... I'm sorry...

[Dimebonic333]

you left some pertinent things out....GPM=gallons per minute; CFM=Cubic Foot per Minute; Deep water culture.I don't mean to be an ass....OCD.

[Tomthehippie]

hahaha classic!

[orangeman]

OMG!!!

You people actually replied... OMG.

LOL !!!!


Thanks for the clarification... LOL !!!!! AHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Yeah, I thought you were joking or something. Obviously you were lol.

[sheist]

here's my input..

What does HPS stand for?
High PRESSURE Sodium

Which is for what?
MH for Veg, HPS for flower

What does 12/12 mean?
12/12 = on/off = hrs per 'day' / hrs per 'night'

What does pH stand for?
"power of Hydrogeni" it is actually a measure of the number of hydrogen ions or protons in a solution

Will the plants smell?
Yes. You can't stop them from smelling, but u can prevent the odor from lingering around in the house with the carbon scrubber, or an ozone generator..

What's LST?
LOW STEM Training, stringing the branches to ground, and force the plant to keep low, instead of stretching higher..

What's topping?
Cutting the new growth off so that the plant grows two main colas instead of one.

Who's FIM?
'Fuck I Missed'. An form of topping/pinching where instead of leaving 2 formities, u double or triple the standard amount by the amount of ridges made with the top.

How can I use CO2?

CO2 is used for the foliage. You can provide this by adding the CO2 Blocks to water, buying and watering with mineral or seltzer water, or u can do the yeast to sugar solution in a bottle..
You can get CO2 blocks which dissolve in water and provide high CO2 levels for 8 hour

Why doesn't anybody reply to my 13 new threads?
People gain and maintain interest in certain threads and usually linger arund THOSE threads to build/learn, etc.. They haven't made their way to yours.. If you wait til the time is right and throw yours up, you'll have alot of ppl hittin u up.. As well if its a simple question which you have a feeling that pretty much most of us kno, MOST LIKELY IT WAS ALREADY POSTED.. Doesnt make sense to repeat, most the good info is in the Grow FAQ section..

What's "ppm"?
Parts per million

What's "gpm"?
Gallons Per Minute

What's Rubbermaid?
Rubbermaid is one of the leading corporations in the food and personal storage industry, they make plastic bowls to bottles to bins.

[Opie Yutts]

And here's a similar thread, on a more serious note:

http://boards.cannabis.com/basic-growing/134670-what-does-everything-mean.html

[dadogg]

:D A wise man once said a little reading can go a long way, so buy a good grow book it should help if you don't like to search the threads..:thumbsup: