Bill Hicks is my god :)

[GHoSToKeR]

"I envision a world where we all make money doing nothing. There's not enough...there's not enough, you know - people are 'Uh, wha, what? We like our jobs, Bill. We like the gruelling in and out, eight hours a day, setting the alarm clock, traffic, Bill - traffic! We love it!' You know what I hate about working? Bosses. That's what I fucking hate. First of all, let me tell you something real quick. The very idea that anyone could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict. Not in this lifetime, Charlie. A few more incarnations, we'll sit down and chat. But I used to always get harassed.

'Hicks, how come you're not working.'
I'd go, 'There's nothing to do.'
'Well, you pretend like you're working.'
'Well, why don't you pretend I'm working? Yeah, you get paid more than me, you fantasise. Pretend I'm mopping. Knock yourself out. I'll pretend they're buying stuff; we can close up. I'm the boss now, you're fired. How's that? I'm on a fucking roll. We're all millionaires and you're a dick. I'm pretending shit, I'm wacky, I can't be stopped.'

I don't know if I have the right attitude for the workplace."

----

"I'm Bill Hicks and I'm dead now, 'cause I smoke cigarettes. Cigarettes didn't kill me - a bunch of non-smokers kicked the shit out of me one night. I tried to run - they had more energy than I, I tried to hide - they heard me wheezing."

:D

[benagain]

ummm....ok

[Genuine17]

Do you like Bill Hicks?

[graph]

Do you like mitch hedburg? Sounds like the same type of humor, to me.

And yeah, I thought those were funny too.

[Oneironaut]

Ah yes, Bill Hicks is one of my heroes as well. He knew what was going on in this world.

(looks over to the television to see Mariah Carey sucking black worm jizzom out of Satan's big scaly cock)

[GHoSToKeR]

(looks over to the television to see Mariah Carey sucking black worm jizzom out of Satan's big scaly cock)

You got that video too? Awesome!

:p

[Garden Knowm]

ummmm Hi GHOST..

well, I am not sure ..

but I am pretty sure you are not allowed to pick your own GOD...

That's what makes "it" GOD...

it picked you....


but I could be wrong...

Iloveyou

[GHoSToKeR]

Ya, Knowm, dude, wrong thread.. lol

[Garden Knowm]

oh
DAVE HICKS is a great armwrestler from canada...
154lb class

:)

[GHoSToKeR]

I've never met Janet Hicks,but i'm sure she's great at whatever she does. :)

http://www.fengshuiprofessional.com/

[Oneironaut]

Bill Hicks is also what trailer park landlords do.

[Garden Knowm]

when i was just a kid.. my pappy owned a retail store and this 17 year old girl came in all the time... her neck was always covered in

Hick
ies

i thought it was so cool... there were like 50
HICK
ies on her neck..perfect round ones...

I think her boyfriends name was
BILL HICKS'

[Nullific]

"I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say "Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it." I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here..."

"Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass."

"I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day."

"Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, 'Show me.'"

"By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Thank you, thank you. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root. I don't know. You try. You do what you can. Kill yourselves. Seriously though, if you are, do. No really, there's no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan's little helpers, OK? Kill yourselves, seriously. You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. "There's gonna be a joke coming..." There's no fucking joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show."

"Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your goverment is in control. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up, go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on the living in the land of freedom. Here you go America - you are free to do what well tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!"

"See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!"

"See I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do, and if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us do me a favor...go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. Cause you know what the musicians who made all that great music thats enhanced your lives throughout the years.....reeeaallll fuckin high on drugs."

Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the the world is 12,000 years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years."

Well how fucking scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12,000 years old?

"That's right."

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

"Uh-huh."

Dinosaurs.

You know the world is 12,000 years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point.

"And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.

"And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills.

"And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord."