Stupid/embarrassing/flat out retarded shit done while high

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Alright so I'm chattin' it up with my friend and we get on to talking about the stupid shit you've done while high. I'm sure there's about 448234245 posts like this but I'm lazy and bored.

I think the stupidest thing I've done was high was when I "whited" for the first time; I waswith my [ex]boyfriend at some girl's house I didn't know. I randomly got up, took off my sweatshirt, stood up, sat down on the ground then layed there for like 10 minutes. Lol, I think I must have looked like a total spaz. I drank and smoked though so I was pretty fucked.

[NextLineIsMine]

I have a couple favorite stupid things I do. I'll take a walk with my cd player to suddenly flip out that I may have lost it somewhere, then I go waaaaaaait a second as I realize that it would be impossible if im listening to music now. Thinking I didn't put my stoge out, going back to check it incase of a fire, then realizing that it is raining hard as hell after searching through wet leaves for a minute. I would say those are both flat out retarted things to do.:stoned:

[BabyFacedAbortion]

tahaha, going thru wet leaves. That's awesome.

I've lost my piece a bunch of times, as well. I just put it down and COMPLETELY forget where, then 2 minutes later find it again.

[anycraic]

indeed many a time ive wandered a shop for a while before asking myself, what the fuck am i doing here?

[EbelEyes]

One time at a rental store, me and a friend were pretty high. We stood in one spot looking for Halo 2, which there was about 25 of them sitting right in front of us. About two minutes goes by, and I hit my friends arm and declare "Ahh man! Its right there!".

:D

[soxsuk6432]

I can't think of something stupid I've done stoned, because I'm usually at school or my house. But when I used to drink and smoke I made assless chaps and wandered around a shopping mall until we got kicked out.

[Synthesizer Man]

I've done too many things. Mostly misplacing stuff though.

My friend unfortunately let out the funniest laugh ever, and I've got it on my camera phone. Every time I listen to it it cracks me up. He agreed to let me put it on a joke website, so if enough of you petition me for it, I will stick it up. Every time I listen, or even think about it it has me on the floor crying with laughter!

[Poohcat21]

Recently I put like 65 cents worth of postage on a light envelope. It felt so heavy, my husband bitched at me. I know I have done far more stupid things, but I can't remember! I do stupid shit everytime I get stoned, like driving down the wrong side of a median. (I just remembered that):stoned: :stoned: :dance: ;)

[Synthesizer Man]

^^^^ When me and 3 other mates went away on our stoners road trip, there was a time when we all started laughing about our laughs because we all have very bad laughs especially when stoned. So we were laughing about laughing and everytime someone laughed we laughed more...my lungs REALLLLLLY hurt after that:p

Yes, me and my friend mutually agree that our laughs are funny. He mostly does it when high. When one of us starts laughing, that really is it. I've been on the ground in agony with chest pains unable to breathe because its that bad!

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Tahah when I'm high I do this very airy laugh, like I don't ACTUALLY make the noise of laughing, it's more like "hahh, hahh" but like not laughter. Like laughing very quietly and since I know I do that sometimes I'll try and actually make the laughing sound but itll come out all retarded like a clown on crack or something lol.

[Synthesizer Man]

That's it, I'm going to stick it up. But it wont let me use 3GP files and you usually need a plugin to play them. Somebody wanna help me convert it.

And yes, it is exactly like really high pitched "haa hah" cracks me up all the time, and I'm sure you will too.

[mrdevious]

Tahah when I'm high I do this very airy laugh, like I don't ACTUALLY make the noise of laughing, it's more like "hahh, hahh" but like not laughter. Like laughing very quietly and since I know I do that sometimes I'll try and actually make the laughing sound but itll come out all retarded like a clown on crack or something lol.

Heh, exactly the same thing with me. also with my friend nick.

Stupid things when I'm high:

- walked around listening to my ipod, then thought I lost it while I'm still listening to it (as others have done here I see).

- once I was reminiscing (god damnit how do you spell that?) with a friend and said excitedly "oh! I remember.......................................... ........................... actaully no I don't". I tend to be pretty forgetfull, at least when I used to be able to get high.

- Then when I was shrooming I was with 2 friends, they were sitting side-by-side on the couch, and I say "I love you guys so much" and lie down across both their laps. then after some amount of time, I don't know, I asked "you guys, am I lying on top of you?" lol.

[Skink]

I made a pot of coffee today and forgot to put the coffee ground in the basket...

[KronicKilla]

I made a pot of coffee today and forgot to put the coffee ground in the basket...


haha i do that sober

[Synthesizer Man]

My mum once put fruit juice in my tea instead of milk, and she wasn't high either!

I remember this one time I rolled a huge joint as usual, but when I was smoking it I needed the toilet. So I put it out, went to the bathroom (which is tiny) put it down, then when I went to find it I couldn't see it anywhere. i could smell it though! After 10 minutes I found it!

[acrca]

stupidest/most retarded thing i ever did when i was stoned was i was playin with a switchblade, and my friend was over, i was swingin it all over the place (you can see where this is going) my friend streched his foot out, and i accidently stabbed him 1 inch deep. he looked at me he said, did you just stab me? i was like "uhhh i dont think so" so he checks it an he screams AHHHHH im gonna DIEE!!! he went to the hospital, they said if he waited any longer his leg woulda had 2 be amputated. Thank god.

[VoidLivesOn]

HAHAHA I think I got a good one.

So one night I staged a get togeather at my house, of course there was weed and alchohol.So After 4 beers a Hurricane and like 2 bowls it was my turn to load a bowl.Well after I was teh first person to load the first bowl I was sober when I rolled up my weed and put it in my sock.So then later on when I was plastered, I was like fffuuucckk my weeds gone! I didn't care much then.THen the next morning we wanted to have a wake and bake and I was like man I don't know WHERE the fuck I put it, people told me the night before I was even checking the fridge, haha.But the next morning I check my sock and if I could I would have kicked myself in the fucking face.

[mrdevious]

stupidest/most retarded thing i ever did when i was stoned was i was playin with a switchblade, and my friend was over, i was swingin it all over the place (you can see where this is going) my friend streched his foot out, and i accidently stabbed him 1 inch deep. he looked at me he said, did you just stab me? i was like "uhhh i dont think so" so he checks it an he screams AHHHHH im gonna DIEE!!! he went to the hospital, they said if he waited any longer his leg woulda had 2 be amputated. Thank god.

I dunno man, why would they have to amputate an entire leg because of getting stabbed in the foot? and for that matter, why amputate anything? it's a stab wound!

[acrca]

do you think im lying? why would i just post lies? wouldnt that be pointless? or mabey my friend lied to me about the amputate threat?

[LittLeWinG]

stupidest/most retarded thing i ever did when i was stoned was i was playin with a switchblade, and my friend was over, i was swingin it all over the place (you can see where this is going) my friend streched his foot out, and i accidently stabbed him 1 inch deep. he looked at me he said, did you just stab me? i was like "uhhh i dont think so" so he checks it an he screams AHHHHH im gonna DIEE!!! he went to the hospital, they said if he waited any longer his leg woulda had 2 be amputated. Thank god.

LMFAO i rekon thats fucking hilarious :D "did you just stab me?" LOL

[LittLeWinG]

do you think im lying? why would i just post lies? wouldnt that be pointless? or mabey my friend lied to me about the amputate threat?
Most likely he lied... you wouldnt get an amputation for a stab wound...especially if its only 1 inch deep.

MEH i dont care :dance:

[mrdevious]

do you think im lying? why would i just post lies? wouldnt that be pointless? or mabey my friend lied to me about the amputate threat?

yes! you're a liar, a dirty rotten liar!

lol, of course you're not lying man, but somebody is, because he simply wouldn't have a leg amputated for a stabwound only to the foot. besides, infection is the only reason to amputate a stab-wound.

[briman]

stupidest thing i ever done was i tried to eat a onion sandwich we had nothing else in to eat and i didnt have ne cash i spent it all on weed so i couldnt even afford ne lol so this sandwich was rough neway never eat a onion sandwich

[rastabill89]

stupidest/most retarded thing i ever did when i was stoned was i was playin with a switchblade, and my friend was over, i was swingin it all over the place (you can see where this is going) my friend streched his foot out, and i accidently stabbed him 1 inch deep. he looked at me he said, did you just stab me? i was like "uhhh i dont think so" so he checks it an he screams AHHHHH im gonna DIEE!!! he went to the hospital, they said if he waited any longer his leg woulda had 2 be amputated. Thank god.

Do I smell another wooman?

[Dr. Dro]

Sometimes I'll be smokin' up and lose my lighter, I have to get
up and look around for it for a few ...until I realize that it was in
my fucking hand the whole time.

[MaRiAh]

sometimes when im really fried i'll go to pass the joint and drop it before the person can even grab it......
this one time i was high on e and i got bored so i did a diagnal braid across the back of my head and caked my hair with gel and i dont even think the braid turned out to actually be a braid... but anyway i drew marks on my face like indian war paint with a sharpie and went outside to pay the dealer for more e..... when i got outside i walked up to the car was handing him the money and then i dropped it under the car and yelled "oopsie" and fell on my ass then grabbed the money gave it to him and walked back into the house...... the second my back was turned they started chuckling then laughing hysterically.... i never go outside to pay them anymore.... im too embarrassed:P

[chisme]

That's it, I'm going to stick it up. But it wont let me use 3GP files and you usually need a plugin to play them. Somebody wanna help me convert it.

And yes, it is exactly like really high pitched "haa hah" cracks me up all the time, and I'm sure you will too.


use imtoo to convert to wmv then upload if not then upload it to putfile.com then link us too it:thumbsup:

[turtle420]

do you think im lying? why would i just post lies? wouldnt that be pointless? or mabey my friend lied to me about the amputate threat?
This might be true!
The human body is VERY complex.

Even if the stab wound was 1 inch, it could have been 1 inch deep, and (god knows) 1mm away form a main artery??? So, if that artery bursts, shit... uuuggghhhhhhhghghghghghhhhhhh.... can't think about blood.

<><><>

Stupid stuff done while high?

I'll tell a friend's tale: We went to pump some gas and get some munchies at the gas station... we get the food, pay for the gas, my friend starts pumping the gas... gets in the car, turns it ON, and starts driving off... with the gas nozzle still in his car!

The nozzle broke, and we stopped in about 10 feet... nothing catastrophic because the gas hoses have a "break-away" coupling, for stupid people like my friend. As soon as it breaks away, it shuts-off fuel flow.

In any event, he had to pay for the coupling. ($50 I think).

[pabloescobar209]

Walk around my whole place looking for my keys for 5 minutes when they are in my hand.

[acrca]

Do I smell another wooman?
no, im a dude

[Tetrahydrocannabinol]

Um well i do a lot of embarassing things. Call it a party favor.
Once it was me and 3 friends in an apartment at night. I was tripping and high as a kite, right? Someone pours us all glasses of red wine. We toast. Then I go "We're all vampires!!!!!" Nobody laughed. In fact what followed was an akward silence.
been trying to forget that one.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Um well i do a lot of embarassing things. Call it a party favor.
Once it was me and 3 friends in an apartment at night. I was tripping and high as a kite, right? Someone pours us all glasses of red wine. We toast. Then I go "We're all vampires!!!!!" Nobody laughed. In fact what followed was an akward silence.
been trying to forget that one.


ahahha, I laughed to that!

[CocaCola]

I'm most infamous for my lacking memory... I could be mad at you one minute and forget about it the next and the person I'm mad is like WTF I thought you were mad at me, you jackass?! And I'll say oh... what for again? For that thing? OH YEAH!1 FUCK YOU THEN!

And also I tend to stop mid-sentence because I forget what I'm talking about...

[thebathroom]

I'm most infamous for my lacking memory... I could be mad at you one minute and forget about it the next and the person I'm mad is like WTF I thought you were mad at me, you jackass?! And I'll say oh... what for again? For that thing? OH YEAH!1 FUCK YOU THEN!

And also I tend to stop mid-sentence because I forget what I'm talking about...


I do that alot too, especially when I'm ordering food at taco bell and all my friends will be behind me laughing their asses off while I stare at the person behind the till blankly.

[usedchemicals]

I dropped an entire 1/8th that was sitting on my lap in the truck on the ground at a gas station, and some lady was looking at it when i came out, and I was just like "oh, whoops, i forgot that!" and picked it up.

I was so blazed:rasta:

[CocaCola]

Oh yeah, that reminds me... the stupidest thing I've ever done is... left about a twenty sack laying on a staircase in windy winter weather while I went to blaze after loading up the bowl. I never found that weed again.

[fat4fun]

i got good an toasted to go spend a tax return once an came out of toys r us with a 2 dvd set of the old school house rock sat morning cartoons

[pabloescobar209]

no, im a dude
LOL no It's an inside joke, he didn't mean woman... he meant wooooooooooooooooooooo-man... He was/is a member that would just annoy everybody..... Classic Rasta

[acrca]

lol good one, but i dont get it

[pabloescobar209]

lol good one, but i dont get it
ex. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooman

[XTC]

I once walked in the woman's restroom in a fastfood joint. I immediately know what I did and saw a woman washing her hands in the sink. I just lowered my head and said a Sorry and walked out and went into the right bathroom. Man, I smoked a lot that day though.

[Synthesizer Man]

My friend has the memory of a fish when he isn't high. So you can imagine what its like when he is!

I was once showing him the final mission in GTA Vice City, because he never got that far and wanted to see it.

Him: Where's the black dude?
Me: Lance? He's there.
Him: No, I mean the cop!
Me: This is Vice City, not San Andreas you fucking idiot!

[CocaCola]

Memory of a fish... lol...

[high as a pie]

me and cuple of m8s stade in tent and were i was liying abuv me was a piece of string and after staring at it for 10 minits my frends wispers to me
THAT STRING IS A SECRET CAMRA WATCHING URE EVERY MOVE
i shit me self and started to panic then i grabed the lighter and burnet it of but the plasic shit was driping all over me
the next day i had plasic stuck to my skin all over my hands lol:D

[Fabolous]

i have punch a whole window out by mistake when i was high

[friendowl]

i got a one night stand girl pregnant cuz i was too fucked up to use a glove.
i got taught a valuable lesson that night.

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

One timewhen i was with both my stoner cousins, while my 8 year old cuz was sleepin, lol.... one of my cuz's rolled a J, at this point i was already drunk out of my MIND. So i smoked most of the first spliff, he rolled a second lol. so yea, im tokin and soo drunk, then the weed starts kickin in hehe, im there in the kitchen, starin at my cuz's funny clock, then i come back in, the joint went out, and i was totally freaked out by this. Then i passed it to the other cuz who was sitin next to me on the sofa/couch. Then i pass it to him and just shrug my shoulders, he relits it and starts smokin it lol. then i had to go kitchen cuz i cud'nt stop laughing. then when i came back in i came in with a box of ceral, i then started gettin very dizzy and passed out on the couch lol. :thumbsup:

[smanrocks]

walking around a walgreens for 1/2 an hour looking for tissues, for my friends mom
3 of us, walked down every aisle 5 times besides 1, wouldn't think tissues would be next to detergent and raid
ha

[da haze meister]

i lost the key to the safe that i kept my weed in. after i put the bud back in. i had to pick the fucker from that point on. nail clipper (end to clean the dirt out of) bobby pin and thin screwdriver does the trick
made a molotov cocktail and threw it into the middle of the street.
lost my weed numerous times
lost my remote numerous times
lost my lighter numerous times
threw a roach into a pile of dry leaves... extinguished it with a cup of water
launched a firecracker rocket thing at a friends house and had it land in a bush... that motherfucker lit up and scorched the tree, i put it out like a g with the garden hose.
spent an hour looking for my friends hat only to find that it was on my head
and lastly
fell asleep

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

Do I smell another wooman?

Dude, wtf are on you on about. iv never stabed someone before because i was high. wtf, how did THAT remind you of me? haha, pretty strange of you bill ;)

[brains]

iv done some funny shit
eg. me and a few of my friends were increadibly high and wandered into a grocery store. we wandered up and down all of the aisles laughing at the food that reminded us of genitalia. then i sat down in the middle of the floor and started to pack my pipe. my friend smacked me on the back.. and i stood up and walked out with everybody in there staring at me :p

[Thehulkster321]

one time I was in a 7 11 and I was getting nachos with my friend and a security gaurd walked in and I tapped my friend on the shoulder and said it was a cop ... he actualy ran out of the store.

I was smokin a joint once and i was just wearing a white t-shirt and I was on my bed and closed my eyes with the jay in my mouth ... Iactualy fell asleep until I woke up to see see that I buned a hole in my shirt and left a nasty burn mark dead center in my chest.

[usedchemicals]

one time i "lost" my phone and actually got my friend's phone and called mine, to find out that it was in my hand the whole time

[eddievanzant]

Hello, my name is Ed, and I'm pathetic.
Hi Ed.

I was using the NO2 in the whipped cream can to get high and I accidently pressed too hard and got a bunch of whipped cream in my nose and on my face. It went far enough into my nose that I tasted it and it was good. I got up and went to the bathroom, but I was currently in a high state. When I got back to my room I was still on a high so I couldn't find the can for like a minute. ...not really interesting.

[RIH]

Well, me and my boy Jesse smoked a blunt before school one time. I was high as fuck...probably as high as I'd ever been before school because usually before school I'll smoke a bowl or two, or a blunt with 3-4 people. Not two. So I was blown.

So I'm sitting in first hour, Economics class, and I'm trying to do something. I asked the kid next to me what we were supposed to be doing, and he said Chapter 1 definitions. I decided I would do it.

Then, without realizing, and I still have no idea how this happened...I was copying definitions down, and I got a page and a half done...before realizing I was in chapter 3. I felt soooo stupid.

[Nochowderforyou]

I've done a few stupid things.

Once, I was waiting to cross the street, so I was waiting for the walk light to came on. Well I decided to walk accross when the traffic coming at me had the green light. I thought I could cross no problem, then I realized I was walking at the wrong time and all the traffic is coming straight for me.

Also, looking for your sunglasses when they're already on your face is pretty dumb. :p

[RIH]

Other stupid things I've done...accidentally leaving a joint on my kitchen counter. Good thing I found it before my mom got home. I also left blunt tubes and a knife with resin all over it that I used to split the blunt...I left those in my moms car.

[dark0ne]

i left the tv remote in the freezer, cause i needed 2 hands for the ice cream. i also leave my keys in there too sometimes. if i'm by myself i'l take a hit or 2 and sit there and go "where is my fucking pipe, i just had it" take another hit, and start looking all around for my pipe witch i'm smoking out of in my hand. i've put a cd in and forgot then i tair my room apart looking for it.

the other day i was still trippen from an acid party the night before. I was walking accrost my front lawn when a car pulled up. Hey it's the cheef of police (his mom lives accrost the street). he's talking to me for like 5 minutes and i do good for some one still trippen. I get to the end of the conversaition i ment to say tell your mom i said hi. what came out was "well i have to go now, tell your mom i said UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thanks"

[BizzleLuvin]

i did this today: i rolled a joint, stuck it behind my ear and totally forgot about it. i was at the library renewing some books, and i go to push back my hair behind my ears and out falls the joint, right onto the counter infront of the librarian. i just grabbed it as fast as i could and pretended like nothing ahppened, even tho she clearly saw the whole thing. i must have walked around running errands with that joint behind my ear for hours; at blockbuster, the library, the grocery store, petsmart and the bank. oopsies!

another thing i did when i first started smoking: i drove for like 10 miles with my car (its an automatic) in second gear instead of drive and wondering why the hell it was making so much noise.

once a friend of mine was passing me a bowl and she says to me 'watch out for the carb, its chipped and you'll cut yourself on it' and as soon as she hands it to me, i cut my thumb. it really hurt and i went around for days with a sore thumb trying to manuever eating utensils using my index and forefinger.

[God v2.0]

i hvae my lighter, i put it in my left pcket of my pants........about 5 sec goes by and i need to spark a bowl so i reach into my right pocket, search my coat, look in my car, check like every pocket i have and still dont find it, then i ask someone for a lighter and then after i give their lighter back i stick my hands in my pockets feeling stupid and pull out my lighter........okay so were out in the woods and its just the guys left because its like 4 am and were all drunk as fuck so we start firewalking for some reason, well after we all hop in it once or twice my friend jumps in and starts freestyling all of a sudden we go GET OUT OF THE FIRE! and the dude had spaced out cause he was rapping and he lit his pant cuffs on fire, it was hilarious. we all do stupid things everyday, but most of them i forget

[halo]

Haha me and my friend got pretty blazed and then made a pizza. When it was done we began to eat it and then we thought how cool it would be to walk around his neighborhood. We walked up and down the street with the pizza in hand. We kept dropping it on the sidewalk and still kept eating it. We dropped it like 5 times. It was good pizza. Also one time i was at my friends house and got naked and he was like are you naked (it was like pitch black and i was across the room.) and i was like umm yah its amazing when your hig. And he was all like thats soo gross.

[Smokey McPot]

This is somthing my dumb cousin just got in trouble for. He was fucked up drunk and high driving. A cop puts on his sirens and lights and my cousin started waving him by and screaming go ahead. Then after a few minutes he realized he was pulling him over and her got a DUI.

One of the funniest things i have heard in a while

[Reefer Rogue]

This is somthing my dumb cousin just got in trouble for. He was fucked up drunk and high driving. A cop puts on his sirens and lights and my cousin started waving him by and screaming go ahead. Then after a few minutes he realized he was pulling him over and her got a DUI.

One of the funniest things i have heard in a while

LOL

[hoodedclum]

Haha .. well this one time i had a mate round and we were doing bukets (gravity bongs) up in my room, we were both rippin away havin a good ole time, i get up to get something, and somehow manage to knock the whole fucking buket over .. worst part is i had bare floorboards back then, all the water went right through!
im like FUCK! i ran downstairs to see the damage .. there was shit loads of water coming through the light socket and wet patches all over the ceiling .. not good! i was too stoned to do anything at the time, i thought maybe if i pretended it hadnt happened it would go away lol.
luckily my mum was out when that happened, she did notice a wet patch on the carpet when she got back though .. i said it must have been the cat lol. was lucky to get away with that one.