Moving on support.

[justinsane]

hey all. my girlfriend and i officially broke it off. we both agreed that we just werent at the point to keep going with our relationship. i dont know if its quite set in. because i feel very numb like im in a trance. but on the way home, i took the backroads and turned up Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird and drove as fast as my jeep could go into the sunset... i think i felt a moment of clarity and positiveness, but i know sitting around is the worst thing to do.

my ex is currently casually dating this guy... which doesnt really help..

im asking to be somewhat hopeful.. has anyone broken up as a serious break up and gotton back together after a somewhat lengthy amount of time?

i dont care that i lost my job, i know its probably a step in creating my own story, and finding friends. but we'll see.

[friendowl]

girls are mens greatest mystery.
if you want to be in love prepare for pain.
they say it takes as long to get over someone as long as you were with them.
i would try and find another chick to kill some time with asap

[DonnieDarko]

I'm sure that there are people who get back with their ex ... but the odds are against that. There is always a song to fall back on .... Freebird is cool. Keep playing it, over and over.

Everybody gets over a hard break-up, it just takes time.

[friendowl]

dont pick up trash once youve thrown it away

[Ganjasaurusrex]

When its over its over.

You cant go back because you go back to what ended it in the first place which is typically contempt or resentment.

So when you go back, you go back to a dirty slate.

You cant go back because there is only now and the future, whats done is done.

Men who believe that with enough time a woman will "see the light", still believe in toothfairies and that you can go back!

So remember you can't go back because:

1. She will get rid of you (again)
2. She hasn't changed.
3. She is going to hurt you some more.

Dont humiliate your self and lower your worth by trying to get back together.

Start getting phone numbers and being seen with new women asap.

[KronicKilla]

yea man getting back with an ex never ever works!

plus there are soo many women in this world go out and have fun witrh them!

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I know how you feel, most of the time I feel like I'm in this like, trance I guess like you said. Stay busy and don't give up on the things you used to like to do or even the things you did daily; like school or work. I did and I find it even more depressing to just be sitting around all day. Don't give up, you still have lots of hope left and I'm sure you can find someone who won't hurt you, it may just take some time.

[Trichocereus Panza]

So when you go back, you go back to a dirty slate.

wow awesomely put, very insightful.

harsh but necessary advice.

on the other hand, i hold onto the idea that it is possible (but VERY difficult) to radically transform your way of treating somebody--your way of seeing her, etc. Pay attention to the ways that you and her are the same, that you're just in the same position of mistrusting each other. You're on opposite sides of the fence but its the SAME fence.

If you can see how clearly she could be in your shoes, and you could be in hers, this is like a kind of forgiveness. I think forgiveness is the key to movin on.

There is no guarantee she would understand this (I am in a similar situation myself not too long ago, and communication is tough). You shouldn't think about getting back together because its too emotionally difficult and complicated. BUT I think you should try to forgive her in your own mind anyway, dont try to hate her (and just stir up more pain for both of you). Real forgiveness in a way has NOTHING to do with her, it's all up to you, its just your way of moving on without having to say "fuck her"---because you know you loved her.

The healthy way to get on with your life is to just admit that, without hoping to get anything in particular out of her. Just let it be and find something new.