dont know

[hipEstoner]

dont know what to do,, theres this girl and i wanna ask her out and ive liked her for about a month but shes coming out of a relationship and she still likes him but doesnt want to, ive told her i have feelings for her ,, bbut i guess i should just wait,, we have alot of conversations together and been with each other a couple of times and were somewhat open with each other ,, but i thyink im just gonna give it some time and maybe it will work itself out,,
ne suggestions would be appreciated,, like maybe iif something similar has happened what did u do

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

fuck, i liked a girl loads for months and when i started talking to her within a week she found out i had feelings for her and we were still talking but she ended up asking me to leave her alone cuz she dos'nt think anythings gonna happen between us. Which was pretty fucked up but i think she was lying behind my back from the start (the start of when i started talking to her)

So.... i can't give ya any advice buddy. But i suggest you don't ask her out til she's over this other guy. But you'll proberly end up being heart broken.






:dance:

[Ganjasaurusrex]

I must say this about no less than 100 times on this board.

If you tell a girl your "feelings" too early, color her gone.

It always has the opposite effect of what a guy thinks will happen.

Be honest. But open up very slowly with feelings.

Girls/women want you to be emotionally challenging. When you lay all your cards on the table, well, game over. You just removed the challenge for her.
She has to feel that she is working to win you over. That is your value.

There is nothing wrong with sharing feelings. Slowly, by using these words,

"I might have feelings, but Im not sure"
"I think there might be something there"

You see the difference. You didnt confirm it.

Ive seen this happen soo many times.

When a guy discloses his feelings she thinks its cute for about a week and then cant figure out why she looses interest. Well its an instintive reaction.


Dates are blocks of time meant to bring men and women together slowly.

Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 etc.

Concentrate on a date.

Ask her to her face, "give me your home telephone number" Then wait 5-9 days to call her back. Now you come off as not desperate and challenging.
You need to do this again after each date.

NOT:

"Do you want to go out"
"Are you seeing anyone"
"what are you doing this weekend"

Those statements are weak and show the girl you have no confidence.

Be direct in person or on the phone. If you use the phone use to set the date only and get off. No chit chat. Have a plan. Know a head of times what things she likes.

When you ask for the date have the plan layed out, Where, when etc and say for example, "Italian restaraunt 8 pm on Thursday". Now you come acrossed as confident and direct with a plan. Dont throw the ball back in her court when it comes to being direct with asking for the date.

Activity type dates are best for the first couple of dates. Go skiing or something. Save the dinner dates for the 3rd or 4th date, (too much pressure).

You should avoid being available on Fridays and Saturdays for 3 weeks into dating.

Pull up my thread history. "asking a woman out the right way" for a few tips.


One other note:

If she is coming out of a relationship she may have been hurt or is on the rebound.

Avoid playing emotional healer.

Let me put this in perspective.

If you go to the doctor to be treated for a condition. Then you after a while you become well, then you dont need the doctor anymore.
Now if the doctor continues to show up on your doorstep with pills for you to take after your well it is going to annoy you.

Well it is the same for a guy who tries to be an emotional healer for a woman who is hurt. As soon as she is balanced emotionally she doesnt need the emotional healer anymore. She will then start looking for the other male strength qualities that turn her on as well as your lack of availability.

[KeanBean]

i finally just understood ur user name hipEstoner. i was like wtf hoes hipe mean, but hipE=hippie, alriiiiiite, i got it

[420purplehaze420]

As soon as she is balanced emotionally she doesnt need the emotional healer anymore. She will then start looking for the other male strength qualities that turn her on as well as your lack of availability.
my god you just explained what went wrong with my last ex, she was just coming out of a relationship she had been in for awhile, so i made her feel good about herself and she was crazy about me and then like a month later she dumped me and said she thought i was treating her like she was weak and had no will of her own when all i did was tell her good things about herself

and inbetween we were fine there were no big fights or any of that

[hipEstoner]

update, were goiun out nowe, have been for like a month, had a great 420 yesterday, everythings cool now

[Nathaniel]

lol Ganja... you said it all