Disastrous sexual encounters

[hubblebubble]

i wanna hear them

[beachguy in thongs]

That's gonna be a tough one. I'm thinking and I don't even think I can make one up.

[endo..jay]

i really dont think there is a such thing as a disastrous fuck for a guy as long as he nuts...maybe for a girl yea

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Oh GOD

Hahaha
okay

well let's see


When I lost my virginity my shirt stayed on, it hurt like a bitch, it was on the floor of my best friend's boyfriend's back room of his basement room. I lost it to his best friend who had a girlfriend who happened to be my rival while I was dating a girl who was madly in love with me. After we had sex the kid wouldn't even kiss me afterwards, wouldn't sleep next to me close and wouldn't share the fucking blanket when we slept on the floor by the bed later on. Two days later we came back and he was pressuring me into giving him a blow job (my first), not only that but I had braces.

I had sex with this one guy, who was literally a foot and a half taller than me, which just made it awkward anyway and it sucked 'cause he had a small dick and I was basically thinking the whole time "Is that it? HAHAH". Two days later he went out with this ugly bitch who had my name.

I fucked around with this wrestler who came over to "take care of me" after I almost ODed on Codiene (How sweet right? HAH!) so I'm totally gone and he's trying to fool around so a few hours later I'm like fuck it and we start fooling around and not only did he have a tiny penis but my brother knocks on the door going "mandaaaa do you have a friend over?" so this kid freaks out and all the clothes get back on and shit and my brother's standing there talking to me (cool and shit cause he doesn't care) and then this kid goes "OH MY GOD, YOUR HIS SISTER?! I USED TO PLAY POKER WITH HIM ALL THE TIME" so yeah, that was weird. He was freaked out and left. Still calls though.

[Essence]

Alrighty I was 18 at the time,,,still could get in the bars to drink...Was :stoned: buzzed up went home w/ an older man 40's...Thought I was gonna have a good old time,,,,LMAO he tore my buttons off my shirt,,,then after all that he couldnt get it hard enough,,,,I just got dressed went looking for something to drink in the kitchen,,,Yuckkkk just whiskey thats it...I left after that glad to get home & smoke a phat ~J~ :smokin:

A BJ w/ braces,,,Ouchie,,,ouch LMAO :stoned:

[BizzleLuvin]

one of my fuck buddies, roy, offered to throw a threesome for me involving him and his friend rico. i had met rico before but never messed aound with him. we all decided to have it at rico's place, since he has his own pad. so i arrive the next day at rico's place....and roy isnt there. according to him, roy had to head out to work on an emergency call (he is a contractor, so it was believable) and that he would be back later. rico also claimed that he urged him to start without him. so i think, why not? BAD IDEA. rico was absolutely DISGUSTING. he had had surgery on a hernia and still had the stitches in,his breath reeked, he was hairy and sweaty, his penis was like 4 inches at most with the words 'your name' tattooed across the head and a really bad rendering of barbed wire around the girth. apparently he had done it himself, i wouldnt have been able to read what his tatty said if he hadnt told me-it was that bad. so obviously he was trying to compensate for his lack of size. and he couldnt even get it hard completely. i just gave him a hand job lasting three mintues and he came.doesnt even say thankyou, just rolls over and turns on the fucking televsion. he continues to walk around his house, totally naked,with his huge belly hanging out and farting all over te place. i get fustrated and ask him where roy is and he says 'i thought i would just have fun with you myself and i told him you called it off'. what a filthy douche bag! he winks at me liek he really showed me a good time. so slap him one across his face, give him a feew vulgar words, and told him to go fuck himself cause he's never gonna get anyone else to do it. the worst example of man-scum i ever encountered. god he made me want to turn lesbain. a few months later he sends me an email asking me to make comments about him on some dating site he signed up for.what an asshole! so i write him a nasty comment and never spoke to him again

[justinsane]

one of my fuck buddies, roy, offered to throw a threesome for me involving him and his friend rico. i had met rico before but never messed aound with him. we all decided to have it at rico's place, since he has his own pad. so i arrive the next day at rico's place....and roy isnt there. according to him, roy had to head out to work on an emergency call (he is a contractor, so it was believable) and that he would be back later. rico also claimed that he urged him to start without him. so i think, why not? BAD IDEA. rico was absolutely DISGUSTING. he had had surgery on a hernia and still had the stitches in,his breath reeked, he was hairy and sweaty, his penis was like 4 inches at most with the words 'your name' tattooed across the head and a really bad rendering of barbed wire around the girth. apparently he had done it himself, i wouldnt have been able to read what his tatty said if he hadnt told me-it was that bad. so obviously he was trying to compensate for his lack of size. and he couldnt even get it hard completely. i just gave him a hand job lasting three mintues and he came.doesnt even say thankyou, just rolls over and turns on the fucking televsion. he continues to walk around his house, totally naked,with his huge belly hanging out and farting all over te place. i get fustrated and ask him where roy is and he says 'i thought i would just have fun with you myself and i told him you called it off'. what a filthy douche bag! he winks at me liek he really showed me a good time. so slap him one across his face, give him a feew vulgar words, and told him to go fuck himself cause he's never gonna get anyone else to do it. the worst example of man-scum i ever encountered. god he made me want to turn lesbain. a few months later he sends me an email asking me to make comments about him on some dating site he signed up for.what an asshole! so i write him a nasty comment and never spoke to him again


that bastard, that sucks

please dont think that every guy is like that pig

[beachguy in thongs]

Oh GOD

Hahaha
okay

well let's see


When I lost my virginity
Right there, stop. I can't take it no more.

[sdffa11]

once, i was really tired after a 13 hour day of classes and my ex seduced me basically but i was so tired i came in like 5 minutes. i was really embarassed because i can usually go for like an hour but i was so tired

[BizzleLuvin]

that bastard, that sucks

please dont think that every guy is like that pig

no but he is the worst example of a man i ever met.

[hubblebubble]

he continues to walk around his house, totally naked,with his huge belly hanging out and farting all over te place.


hahahahaha

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Still a virgin, but those really ARE disastrous! :eek:

[notrightquite]

Um ... there was this one time when I had to actually use the words "I'm not a machine, woman!!!" but that's all. Other than that, nothin' but great experiences sexually ... and now that I think about it, that wasn't a bad one anyway.

[AcidFreak]

Every time has been amazing except this one time when I was like 15 and this girl was so bad at giving handjobs that I had to go finish myself off.

It's better than blue balls.

Fortunately now I have an extremely sexy girlfriend that knows what she's doing :D

[knave666]

I pulled some swiss girl when i was out one night. Unfortunately, it was a rugby night out so i was blind drunk. Don't remember anything until we were leaving the club and getting into a taxi. At this point i realised i couldn't remember her name. So we went home and got down to it, but i was just so hammered that I had to concentrate really hard just so i wouldn't pass out. Needless to say my performance was somewhat sub-par, and i eventually just gave up. Next day was confusing as hell, cos I couldn't remember who she was, how i met her, and why one of the guys in my rugby team gave me his address as i left the club, so she could get home. Damn weird night

[KronicKilla]

oh i have one, and it was bad
I remember it like it was yesterday...

I went to visit this girl at college and well she wanted to fuck
Im not one to say no, even if it was 4am
so you know we are getting it on clothes are coming off
and i go to stick it in when...she mentions the last guy she fucked
well I knew this guy personally, well needless to say that kinda ruined the moment...
so i was like 'why the fuck would you say that?!?'
so then it was back to foreplay..ugh
so i get hard once again and quick fuch her before she says anything like that again

although i must complement the woman cz well she was the tightest pussy that i have ever had...

[paparose]

One night in Tampa I picked up that Iranian girl cause she had enormous size of breast quadroloupe D, not saggy, perky, the biggest I have seen in person. I did not go down or checked the conditions, while having sex I felt some burning down there, then I realized she had pussy hair like 5-6 inches and tangled around my private, skin was off and the burning sensation grew each time I penetrated. F.cking bitch should have shaved it. Took me 2 weeks to heal, meaning no sex for 2 weeks....damn monstrous boobs, you fooled me.....

[buddymyfriend]

I'd read in a lads mag that you can spice up your sex life by putting small objects in the johnny. Mmm, buddy thinks.....off to the shops. I bought a packet of millions, these little chew sweets. They're slightly smaller than a popcorn kernel. So I strategically placed a few down the condom. After a marthon session and a flood of orgasms I pull out only to discover the sweets Id put in the johnny had dissapeared. LMAO! She was pissin millions for a few days after. Ahh happy days, was fun fishing about down there trying to find em. Moral of the story, dont believe everything you read!

Peace

Buddy

[PureEvil760]

its alright cause the next day ur like..whoa cant get any worse then u just rock that bitchs life

[d00d989]

I'd read in a lads mag that you can spice up your sex life by putting small objects in the johnny. Mmm, buddy thinks.....off to the shops. I bought a packet of millions, these little chew sweets. They're slightly smaller than a popcorn kernel. So I strategically placed a few down the condom. After a marthon session and a flood of orgasms I pull out only to discover the sweets Id put in the johnny had dissapeared. LMAO! She was pissin millions for a few days after. Ahh happy days, was fun fishing about down there trying to find em. Moral of the story, dont believe everything you read!

Peace

Buddy

i dont understand


anyways, one time in 7th grade i got a blowjob from the girl. I did not come. She had her mouth on it and everything, but she didnt use her hands at all, and she didnt suck at all. she just had her lips around it, going up and down. I could hardly even feel any pleasure at all.
After about 5 minutes of this i realized no way in hell was i going to come from this tiny amount of pleasure she was giving me. I knew she would not fuck me, (7th grade girls werent fuckin) so i said "you can stop now" and left. haha

[JunkYard]

I was in highschool and my girlfriend and I were doing it in an old grain tower just outside of town.

We were going at it good and proper, and in the process we woke up like a hundred bats. It was horrible! My girlfriend nearly had a heart attack, and I nearly went deaf from her screaming...

I never lost a woody so fast in my life,

[zephyrinne]

I've never really had a disatrous fuck, although I've had funny ones.

My ex and I were having sex one night after we had gotten home from the bar. We were both wasted and we were going at it hardcore, whenever I started feeling like I was going to throw up. Needless to say, about 10 seconds after I informed him I wasn't feeling well (we still kept banging), I hurled right in his trash can that was beside his bed... all naked and stuff. It was gross, but I cleaned up and we finished our little fuck session. :)

[Mr Greenthumb]

I ain't never had no fucked up expeirences before but i friend of mines gf and he were telling me that one his first times having sex his dick "ripped" and when he came he shot blood. It was the most painful thing in his life he told me.

There is a such thing as a painful orgasm i guess.

[lizka4200]

thats sick

[Psycho4Bud]

Disasterous fuck, how about a drunken one night stand with a person that made you want to cut off your manhood the next morning. I remember in my youth this one "lady", I was awaken by a 300# bundle of delight with a glass eye! DAMN!!!!!!!!

[hubblebubble]

yeh thats the kind of thing im talking about sounds pretty "disastrous" to me

[caLLmeStoNeR]

haha..thats horrible.
I remeber this one guy i scronked...i was scared for my life. we started fooling around and the whole deal, clothes come off...u know how it goes... Ne ways, this guy couldnt hold himself up..litterally, he nearly crushed me. he wasnt fat by any means, had a lot of muscle.. tuff guy and he came close to breaking bones. I SWear to g*d. His arms couldnt hold him up...we didnt even finish the deed. i had to stop, i couldnt breath ne more. I just simply got up, put my clothes on, he apologized. I walked out and havnt heard from him since. talk about a bad fuck (to top it off, this guy was puny! like pinky size.)

[Mr Greenthumb]

lol Stoner, that made me laugh. Side Note: i have a good friend who's name nobody can remember so we all just call him Stoner.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Don't drink and fuck.

It's bad for your mental health.

[Killermiller]

Lol some girls go crazy when they're drunk though, try new and crazy shit, fun times.

[Imotep]

a friend of a friend of mine had 2 diffrent girls poop on him on 2 different occasions.
he was getting all weirded out. after the second time he didnt think it was funny at all.
oh how we laughed...:p

[nuggetgirl]

One time in highschool, with the boy that my mother never wanted me to see. I lived on a farm, and we had a big garden/tool shed. He snuck over one night and I met him out in the yard and we went way to the back of the shed. I had brought a blanket and laid it on the floor and we were totally going at it. All of a sudden I felt something furry touch my leg so I grabbed my lighter and flicked it on. It was a freaking POSSUM and like 5 babies. I was so scared of getting bit by this pissed off momma possum I totally ran out side clothes in hand and hopped back through my bedroom window. Neverless, the boy never talked to me again.
Oh to be young again....

[Imotep]

nuggetgirl, did u poop on my buddy?:D

[gramzzilla420]

no but he is the worst example of a man i ever met.
i like beat the hell out a that fucker:mad:

[Delta.9]

One night in Tampa I picked up that Iranian girl cause she had enormous size of breast quadroloupe D, not saggy, perky, the biggest I have seen in person. I did not go down or checked the conditions, while having sex I felt some burning down there, then I realized she had pussy hair like 5-6 inches and tangled around my private, skin was off and the burning sensation grew each time I penetrated. F.cking bitch should have shaved it. Took me 2 weeks to heal, meaning no sex for 2 weeks....damn monstrous boobs, you fooled me.....


Sorry man, but that is some of the funiest shit I've ever heard. You've got me rolling on the floor!

[theprettiestprincess]

Seriously every guy I was with b4 my current bf wasn't worth it. No orgasm no nothing. But I can remember a couple that were disatrous, this 1 guy I was dating when I was 16 had a BIG dick and our 1st sexual experience together was horrible it hurt like hell and I was about to cry seriously. Different day same guy, he came over 1 day and we were goin at it and we kissed and his breath tasted terrible ughhhhhhhhhh!

[Euphoric]

One time i was making silly to my girlfriend while we were really drunk. I was so drunk and got sleepy, so i just decided to go to sleep..like, right then. Shes like WTF im like what!? Oh yea..srry

[Delta.9]

bump for a great thread!

This one has potential!

[snowblind]

this thread ahs made me piss, reminds me of of this girl i met in uni

a smoking buddy if mine had met this girl and she lived in an all girl flat. so we would go round there. blaze and get free munch and sunday dinners. one of my mates gf mates was this pretty hot rock chick. she was a bit weird and kinda depressive but a nice enough girl. she was always proper nice and her mates used to rib her cus i was the only person she wasn't stingy with. she used to give me food and chocolate. all good. anyway one nite we all go out to the local rock club. im pretty wasted so we start dancin, kissin, its all good. so i invite her back to mine.
anyway we get back, i put on some tunes and well its all good. we start kissin and i start undressin her. the more clothes i took off her the worse she smelt. like this kinda stale bo and this kinda fusty putrid milk kinda smell. but im drunk and horny, so i reach down there and man her pubes where massive. the smell was pundgent to say the least. so anyway i had a shower in my room. so im like lets go take a shower together. she looks at me ands like no. so she grabs my dick and starts yankin it and suckin on it. but anytime i get anywhere near pleasure i get this whiff that makes me wanna wretch. so after about ten minuates, i make my excuses and say it aint working. grab my shit, roll a phat one and cotch on the couch.
anyways i find out from my mate the day later. that shes a a virgin and thought i was gonna fuck her rotten in the shower like in a porno, which well i cant deny hadnt crossed my mind
and b has a huge crush on me and locked herself in her room and cried for ages, when she got back from mine.
i spent the next term trying to avoid her. till i was pissed and she gave me head on my mates couch. this time i let her keep her clothes on.

i know this might sound skank but man personal hygine isn't hard.

[snowblind]

lolz i am reminded of another funny situation.

where i used to live was this girl. bitchy, aggressive and used to use sex as a ool to manipulate boys and get what she wanted. she was dating my best mate. she used to cheat on him all the time and fool around with other lads. myself included something im not too proud off.
anyway she cheated on my mate with this lad who has a massive knob. she is a proper drama queen and when she told him, started shouting and screeming at my mate. in the common room at college. she talking tall about how he has a huge nob and she rode him all night and he doesnt compare and that he said she was the best pussy she ever had and that he came on to her all night and she finnaly gave in. bitch
anyway we get round to chillin with this lad a few months laters, he is proper sound. and i raise it in conversation and he starts laughing his tits off. anyway he told it as it was. they where at this party she followed him too and she was all over him all nite like a rash. she even bust into the toilet twce accidently. anyway she gets into bed with him and starts touching him up. so he puts it in. then hes like yeah 2 minuates and shes all ouch it hurts and kicks him outta bed.

bitch

skank

ass

ho

[Delta.9]

Haha, nice story! Why didn't you just "teach" her the ways of trimming and general "maintenance". Obviously she wasn't familiar with it and you could've had yourself a nice little play buddy! :cool:

Edit:

I couldn't understand your second story very well. Sounds like you were in the middle of blazin one and it just hit you! HAHAHA

[couch-potato]

Well a good friend of mine is a diabetic. We were at a party one night and apparently he fucked some chick in a bush without protection because she claimed to be on birth control. She was the only girl that night that I was interested in, so I amused myself with drinking games and got pretty hammered.

Well my friend has me carry his diabetes medication (insulin), because I was wearing a jacket that had a lot of pockets n such. I meet the girl later that he fucked, and she tells me that she just hooked up with my friend.

I jokingly reply, "Uh-oh, you might want to watch out for HIV now"
She laughs, being as we are both drunk. But then I stand up, and my friend's insulin falls out of my pocket. She asks what it is, and I (not thinking) reply, "His medication"

She instantly starting freaking the FUCK OUT, crying and shouting swears that would make a sailor blush. I'm drunk, confused as hell watching her storm off with her friends before I realized what I had just done. But it was too late, nobody knew her... I wonder what happened to her.

[Delta.9]

HOLY EFFIN SHIZA!!! That's funny, sad, and crazy all rolled into one!!!! :yippee:

[snowblind]

Haha, nice story! Why didn't you just "teach" her the ways of trimming and general "maintenance". Obviously she wasn't familiar with it and you could've had yourself a nice little play buddy! :cool:

Edit:

I couldn't understand your second story very well. Sounds like you were in the middle of blazin one and it just hit you! HAHAHA

lol yeah i read it back. ill rewrite it in the morning.

yeah that would have been a plan. not sure my gf at the time would have been to happy. she said if i ever dated her she'd be ashamed i had downgraded. skank, but true. i was just up for some one nite lovin

peace out

[Delta.9]

Hahaha, sounds good!

[joeskater]

i was having sex for a week or two with this one girl that i just met. When she told her one friend how good it was she wanted some. So we all decided to have a 3sum in my truck. Well it all started out good but when i started going downtown on the friend i couldnt perform. It smelt soo bad i couldnt even get fully hard, my whole truck smelt like her pussy. And ontop of that i was high. So it pretty much sucked. But oh well shit happens

[Dionysus]

I had this girlfriend once who had come over and cooked me some dinner. If I remember correctly it was some jalapeno enchiladas with a white sauce. Now they were pretty damn tasty, but you have to recall all the peppers and jalapenos we were using/deseeding.



Yeah needless to say she started crying after I fingered her.

Now that was bad.

[yoda]

the first night my ex came back a few months ago, i couldnt get an erection

[bcgirl]

One night in Tampa I picked up that Iranian girl cause she had enormous size of breast quadroloupe D, not saggy, perky, the biggest I have seen in person. I did not go down or checked the conditions, while having sex I felt some burning down there, then I realized she had pussy hair like 5-6 inches and tangled around my private, skin was off and the burning sensation grew each time I penetrated. F.cking bitch should have shaved it. Took me 2 weeks to heal, meaning no sex for 2 weeks....damn monstrous boobs, you fooled me.....

LMAO!!!
that is freakin hillarious!!!!
i didnt know pubic hair could get that long.... thats SOOOOO GROSS!!!!!
LMAO!!!!

[Blitzed]

Well, it wasn't really disastrous during sex, but what happened after was. I was with a girl in high school, and we had been dating for a few months, well she was a virgin, and we started doing the nasty in the back seat. I had heard that there is blood with some virgins, but I didn't know how much. Well, I guess we ended up on my shirt, and after the deed I didn't really look at it and just put it on. I walk into a gas station to buy a soda and walk up to the front counter, when I get there the clerk asks if I just stabbed somebody. Really bewildered I asked him what he meant, and he told me to look at my shirt. It had a nice amount of blood on it, I was so angry, but I know it wasn't her fault. It was veeeeeery embarrassing, and that's why I will never sleep with a virgin again.

[couch-potato]

I walk into a gas station to buy a soda and walk up to the front counter, when I get there the clerk asks if I just stabbed somebody.

"Nope, just fucking virgins."

[GraziLovesMary]

lol how about the time I was nailin my ex with her ass hangin off the side of the bed and me standin up.. and my dad walked in. The door was to my back so I just walked the fuck out the room thinkin he would follow me, but he was so surprised he was just frozen on her whole naked ass hangin off the edge of the bed and she was so surprised she was too... lmao that was a baaaaaddd night.. lol.... i chased him up the stairs with my sword, hes lucky I threw that shit before runnin up after him lmao. HAhahahahahahaa ohhh man thats so funny to me now.. hahahahaha

[snowblind]

lol grazi that makes me piss reminds me of when i was at home gettin head. my mum walked in and saw me, turned around and then just walked out. i think she must have waited at the door for a minuate thinking we would stop, cus she walked in again and i was still there with my cock out in my g's mouth with my hands behind my head. she just walked out again and tutted.

like lets be honest was i really gonna get her to stop

peace snow

[DebuteMachine23]

I was about to stick it to my girlfriend and it turns out she was on her period. Red all over the place!

[snowblind]

urgggghhh, one of my x's mates was with this lad who insisted on going down her when she was on all the time. she said when he tried to kiss me with blood on his cheek i knew it was time to leave

wrong wrong wrong

[Orange Goblin]

Let's just say the 3rd or 4th time I tried anal... it wasn't so pleasant. *ugh*

[BBoyShotty]

alright well heres a fresh one...

Theres this girl who lives in my old town(about 2.5 hours away) who came and visited me last year. She had a crush on me for awhile, n when she came over we fooled around, but didn't fuck..The next few times i talked to her, she was telling me how she regrets not letting me go further, n how she'll make it up to me next time. So anyways, she was supposed to come back down a few weeks ago, but bailed on me so I'm thinking that i wont see her again till after the summer is over. Two weeks pass and i manage to convince her to visit me the following monday--which she did--so im thinking monday-wednesday(her visit) was gonna be a nice fuck buddy kinda trip, but damnnn, was i wrong...

So throughout the first day, she is flirty as hell--like usual--so im thinking everythings goin good..so finally when we're in bed, i start giving her signals n whatnot(eg: rubbing, kissing neck, cheeks, wahtever, etc. etc.) n shes responding, but when i moved in for a kiss, she stopped me, n im thinking, why all the mindgames?!?? n so she starts to procede that she started kinda seeing this guy who i know back frmo highschool who she HATED n how she wants be cautious, n then basically kisses me on the cheek, gives me a hug n tells me not to be mad, n continues to bash my head in saying somethin like, "if only i came the week i was supposed to, this woulda never happened"

Now shit, i respect her decision, but she definitely DID NOT give me the slightest idea that she is seeing someone..actually, i think the last thing she said to me was that we needed to go to stag shop(sex shop) n buy something for later...

bottom line, my balls hurt.

[higher4hockey]

this girl asked me one time while we were naked and i was on top of her, if i was only doing this because i was wasted (she liked me, i didnt particularly like her) my response: uhhh yeah...

[Orange Goblin]

this girl asked me one time while we were naked and i was on top of her, if i was only doing this because i was wasted (she liked me, i didnt particularly like her) my response: uhhh yeah...

OUCH! hahahahahah

[DebuteMachine23]

this girl asked me one time while we were naked and i was on top of her, if i was only doing this because i was wasted (she liked me, i didnt particularly like her) my response: uhhh yeah...



hahahaha, ooooo.... i bet you didnt get any did you?:smokin:

[stinkyattic]

This hasn't happened yet, but I'll bet it is only a matter of time...

My bedroom is in a walk-up attic. I can't get furniture up there, so my mattress is 2 twins side by side on the floor with a pad.
My dog is a 70 pound overprotective bulldog/boxer cross.
I can't fully shut and latch the attic door.
My current partner is large. I mean, REALLY large. Like, linebacker pornstar large. Because of this, I make some odd noises during sex.

Lately, the dog has been getting pretty fucking pissed at Donk. She apparently thinks he's hurting me. Telling her 'go lie down' gives about 30 seconds' reprieve from her snarling at him.

Last week we were getting some freek on and I asked, "Hey babe, does it turn you on to know there could be a 70 pound bulldog hanging off your leg at any minute?" We are both pretty convinced that she's going to take a chunk of him to use as a chew-toy in the near future.

There's little I can do about this. (Yes, I'm fixing the door!!!!) I don't want to discourage her protective instincts. So part of sex lately has been worrying about whether Donk is going to end up in the ER explaining why he has to get his calf stitched up.

This is my bodyguard....

[BlueDevil]

Ok, I'll play. :)

Took a friend of mine on a boat ride, she hadn't seen the lake my family's camp is on and really wanted to get away from her other siblings.

So as we're getting things ready (life preservers, seats, drinks, etc) she starts flirting and gradually gets more and more graphic/uninhibited. Makes a point of telling me she won't need to bring her swimsuit as she won't need it but can't wait to get in the water. I realized I had this diminutive, soft spoken church girl all wrong. Awesome!

An hour or so later I pull the boat up to an island in a remote area of the lake so we can eat sandwiches and chill on land - I had secreted some cold beers away from my folks earlier and thought, if ever there was a time to throw alcohol at the situation, this was it.
I offer her a cold one, she looks at me like I'm crazy and says (paraphrasing here) 'Uhh, how about we fuck then go for a swim?'

She prances away while undressing, and I'm right behind her. I follow her to a small grassy portion of this island, which btw was the size of most common living rooms. Not a single tree on it, and aside from a mound of soil and grass in the very middle, was just rocks and shrubs. She piles her clothes and then lays on them, spread eagle waiting for me to dive in.
We had only been getting down for 5 or 10mins when the wind picked up, and within the next few minutes it went from sunny and gorgeous outside to gale force winds and rain, then hail, thunder and lightening. Nothing like a bolt of lightning landing nearby to snap you out of your horny froth! I was pretty pissed this super hot event I was lucky enough to happen upon was over. But my friend proceeded directly to Go Apeshit and Panic Mode, she was scared out of her mind. She bolts to the boat, naked mind you, slips, and wipes out on the rocks, managing to slam into the aluminum hull on the way down.

So we show up at the dock a little later, both soaked to the bone, shivering, and bearing red marks all over from getting nailed with hail. She's bleeding from the head, arm and both feet, and we're both missing articles of clothing. And to top it all off, her mother and both of my parents run down to the docks to question us upon our arrival. Yeah, the scene of an almost naked, bleeding girl added to stolen beer made for some great family discussion. Ended up getting screwed for about 6 months for about 10min of hot outdoor tail.

Apart from the getting grounded and being caught naked in a hail storm parts, good times! ;)

As for my friend, I ended up competing against her in some 4H horse-riding events later that year. After my sister and I pretty much dominated that meet, she never spoke to me again. Oh well.

[couch-potato]

She piles her clothes and then lays on them, spread eagle waiting for me to dive in.

:thumbsup:

But my friend proceeded directly to Go Apeshit and Panic Mode, she was scared out of her mind. She bolts to the boat, naked mind you, slips, and wipes out on the rocks, managing to slam into the aluminum hull on the way down.

:(


That is all.

[audioaddict04]

Ok, I'll play. :)

Took a friend of mine on a boat ride, she hadn't seen the lake my family's camp is on and really wanted to get away from her other siblings.


As for my friend, I ended up competing against her in some 4H horse-riding events later that year. After my sister and I pretty much dominated that meet, she never spoke to me again. Oh well.

This is me going out on a limb.....but does your family have lots of money?

[audioaddict04]

Worst sexual experience??? I've got plenty.

Keep in mind I'm gay otherwise this might not make sense to some of you.

also....if you don't wanna read about 2 dudes fucking then avert your eyes.

Once I was going down on this guy in my room with the door locked when my mom starts banging on the door. Apparently she heard the front door and thought someone was breaking in (paranoid). She won't go away until I answer so he hides and it takes 5 minutes to convince her everything is okay.

Another time I was about to go down on a guy and I saw what looked to be genital warts....that was a mood killer.

But for the coup de grâce:
I was fucking this guy for a while and we'd gone through quite a few positions. Towards the end he was riding me and it was great. I started to feel something warm running down my balls and I mentioned it. He got up to check and as he pulled off shit poured down onto my entire crotch. If it hadn't been for the little cover the condom provided I probably would have puked everywhere.
The moral of that story is make sure your partner cleans themselves out before having anal sex! It's a gay law to live by.

[loxley]

I hooked up with my brother's girlfriend. it was hella good sex but now my brother doesn't talk to me. but i hooked up with here again last weekend. he doesn't know...yet. :thumbsup:

[stinkyattic]

loxley, have you NO sense of family loyalty?
Hooking up with a friend's girlfriend is bad enough... but your own BROTHER? That's HORRIBLE!!!

[Ganj]

Well, it wasn't really disastrous during sex, but what happened after was. I was with a girl in high school, and we had been dating for a few months, well she was a virgin, and we started doing the nasty in the back seat. I had heard that there is blood with some virgins, but I didn't know how much. Well, I guess we ended up on my shirt, and after the deed I didn't really look at it and just put it on. I walk into a gas station to buy a soda and walk up to the front counter, when I get there the clerk asks if I just stabbed somebody. Really bewildered I asked him what he meant, and he told me to look at my shirt. It had a nice amount of blood on it, I was so angry, but I know it wasn't her fault. It was veeeeeery embarrassing, and that's why I will never sleep with a virgin again.

I lost a white t-shirt to a similar experience, except the woman I was sleeping with was on her period. Similarly, it was not a "disastrous" encounter but I really need my white-t's. The bright idea of taking it off never occurred either. Heat of the moment? Definitely. She came to my job that morning and basically invited me to screw her that evening. Now that I reflect--fuck the t-shirt! I got me some. Yeahhh.

[andruejaysin]

This happened to a friend of mine and a girl I've been with a few times. They were parked on a country road fucking and a sheriff's deputy pulled up behind them. They got dressed in a huge hurry and accidently put on each others pants. She had left her purse in a bar early that night, with her ID and a pipe with a little herb in it. So like an idiot she wants to go to the jail to claim her purse because someone had turned it in. She got to they jail and they arrested her for possesion and she freaked out and got charged with battery on a LEO, attempted escape, resisting arrest, criminal damage to property, obstruction of legal process, poss. of marijuana, and possesion of parphenalia. And went to jail with his money in her pocket because she was wearing his pants.

[trainwreck530]

hehe yeah man i have had a few. some of them i wouldnt want to post, as they might make me look like a slime ball.

ok so i was 15 with my girl of a year and a half. we finally decided to try anal. so we were laying in a spoon position gettin warmed up. i was rubbing my stuff all over her stuff, gettin her wet as im already hard like stone. so all of a sudden shes like "woah woah dude whyd you cum already?!?" i was like "what are you talking about....damn girl you are WET!" all of a sudden, i look down and were COVERED in blood. dude this was like some Dr. Giggles shit str8 up! i tore the connective tissue right below my hole. (ouch) it bled for such a long time. didnt exactly go how i plannned lol i pictured some cool dirk diggler type of shit, u know? lol

LATE

[Snowboardz]

Ok, I guess this would qualify as a disaster, and I could also use some advise if anyone reads all of it. I'm pretty stoned so hopefully it makes sense.

I was over my friend's girlfriend's dorm room, and she gave out some ADD pills to everyone there. I met one of her friends who was visiting. We talked for a little while and I told her we should stay up, and she could sleep at my dorm. We started drinking and watched a movie, then things started getting sexual. I went down on her then she tried to give me a b.j. but I couldn't get hard. I thought it was from the drinking, but that had never happened before, so I think it was from the ADD pills. Anyways I continued to eat her out and finger her until she came. She told me it was the best she had had we could be fuck buddies. Later that night we tired to fuck again but I still couldn't stay hard. We talked for a while after that since the pills kept us awake. She left in the morning, and my friends asked me what happened that night. I was embarrassed that I couldn't get hard so I told them I fucked her. My friend then told his girlfriend what I had told him, so she went and asked the girl about what happened that night and they told me she said that we just made out and is pissed at me for telling people we had sex. I tried to txt msg the girl the day after, and a week after, but she never replied.

It has been about two weeks since that night. I feel like shit about what happened. I did like her and want to see her again. Any advise?:what:

[trainwreck530]

LOL dude i was just thinking of posting a similar story of mine. same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. sometimes it can be drugs or something. other than that i think it could be performance anxiety. now i know some of you fellas are going to be like whatever but for real. for instance the other night when ******* came over and dropped off a couple Os she was up on me big time. now anyone in that position would want to be with this girl for more reasons than one, shes smokin hot plus shes like BIG TIME dealer/dope man. but ill tell you what man as high and dry as i was i wouldnt have been able to pull it off. possibly? yes but not like i wanted to. so there can be performance anxiety, head trip, or drugs.

youre in a pretty sticky sit. bro. if i were u i would just try to play it cool man. say something about a condom. btw, were you already up in it with here for a minute, or was doomed from the start?

LATE donny

[Snowboardz]

train- I thought I was almost ready to go, but lost it putting on the condom.

[Hookah314]

got piss ass drunk beyond belief the night before
did everything including my first time having anal
the next morning...
woke up.....
&
rolled over and heard 'did we have sex last night?'




never a good thing.

[trainwreck530]

heres another one. i was 16 @ the time, and this girl was 14. she was FINE, but a virgin (haters f*** off) so, we didnt end up having sex, but i did go down on her, and when i go down i dont come up for u know what im sayin. so anyway, she was tight & real tasty. she came a few times, but something tasted odd (we were in the dark)

fast foward 30 min. i hear my mom honking outside. we throw on our clothes and i run outside. well come to find out i had popped her cher w/my TOUNGE. no joke. it was absolutely EMBARASSING!! i would have rather had my mom walk in on me fucking. my clothes were soaked, my face looked like blade 4

Donny

[MichaelALMIGHTY]

The worst sex is when I am so fucked off my face that I cant keep it up

[partcleguy]

Ok, this is from my first time having sex. She was a virgin and shy as hell unfortunately. Anyway, I put on dark side of the moon and go down on her (also for the first time). Turns out she did not or had not ever shaved, but being committed to the idea I went ahead anyway. Ugh, hair in my teeth! I can't smell, like I can not distinguish between two smells or tell you someone farted etc, but I thought I could possibly smell something down there. Then when it came to the rest of the act, she was too tight and I asked her to go down on me for a really lame BJ.

But... I suppose the punchline is she lived next door to me in my dorm so even though we never hooked up again, we had to awkwardly walk past each other almost every day... Haha pick your hookups more carefully than I did...

[couch-potato]

Making sweet, sweet love to a lady-friend down by the fire. Shine on You Crazy Diamond (Parts 1- V) came on iTunes shuffle. It was the day after my very first bong broke... her name was Totem.

Me and my buddies would always smoke out of Totem with Pink Floyd jamming in the background, and whenever Shine on You Crazy Diamond came on we would pause smoking until the lyrics kicked in, then smoke as hard as we possibly could until the song finished. When we had guests in the circle, some passed out, some were so high they supposedly lost reality, others puked, some just geeked out hard. Grams went up in smoke in a matter of seconds (my bong was notorious for having a liberty bowl, you could pack at least a gram into this bowl). Rotation speed picked up tenfold, and after every bowl was cashed we would all say, "For Syd."

When that song came on again that one night, I just couldn't go on. My very first piece, bought at Venice beach when I was in 7th grade. I cherished her for years and years man. I didn't explain it to the girl, she wouldn't understand. I just had to leave with a now-flaccid cock.

[audioaddict04]

When that song came on again that one night, I just couldn't go on. My very first piece, bought at Venice beach when I was in 7th grade. I cherished her for years and years man. I didn't explain it to the girl, she wouldn't understand. I just had to leave with a now-flaccid cock.

You must have been deeply in love with that bong.

[couch-potato]

You must have been deeply in love with that bong.


No fucking joke man. When you're the first and only kid at school who has their own bong it becomes more than a regular piece. Everyone else I knew loved her too.

[Ant171717]

My girlfriend and I (of 7 months as of last week) were two doors down from eachother in residence last year and the sexual tension was crazy. she had a boyfriend of three years and I was dating/banging nearly everything with a pussy. Anyways, after a very well planned (not) night of drinking i find myself spending the night in her dorm room (witch is about 3 feet by 8 feet). All of the sudden, shes going down on me but to my horror, my hot italian sausage randomly had the worst case of the irish curse EVER. She kept trying to "resurect" it but that shit just wasnt going down n i came while being soft within 45 seconds.... i didnt even know this was possible. THANKFULLY we got over it, the sex continues to be amazing and it has never happend again!!!

[TOOL9]

heres another one. i was 16 @ the time, and this girl was 14. she was FINE, but a virgin (haters f*** off) so, we didnt end up having sex, but i did go down on her, and when i go down i dont come up for u know what im sayin. so anyway, she was tight & real tasty. she came a few times, but something tasted odd (we were in the dark)

fast foward 30 min. i hear my mom honking outside. we throw on our clothes and i run outside. well come to find out i had popped her cher w/my TOUNGE. no joke. it was absolutely EMBARASSING!! i would have rather had my mom walk in on me fucking. my clothes were soaked, my face looked like blade 4

Donny

Oh my God

[TOOL9]

These stories are hilarious!

[the image reaper]

these days, the only way I could have a 'disastrous sexual encounter' would be to break my wrist, or sumthin' ... :S2:

[the image reaper]

Disasterous fuck, how about a drunken one night stand with a person that made you want to cut off your manhood the next morning. I remember in my youth this one "lady", I was awaken by a 300# bundle of delight with a glass eye! DAMN!!!!!!!!

:eek: ... DAMN !!! I know her very well, been there, done her ... she even said she'd "keep an eye out for me" ... :S2:

[LIP]

Last saturday i was with my current girlfriend, and while she was tossing me off she flattened one of my balls. I was bent over for half hour. She said shes never seen me in so much pain, and im not surprised.

That probably is the worst thing thats happened to me as far as sex goes. I've been lucky.

[cannabis campbell]

Well lets see one of the worst fuck ups for me probs happened about 5 times luckily is when I spend about half an hour having a rock solid hard on during foreplay that when it came to the sex it just wouldnt fucking stay up thats why sometimes the old blue pill does the job haha always makes your sex a hell of a lot better and lasts for a minimum of 3 hours which is good, nothing embarrasing about it its not just for old people and any girl will absolutely fall in love with you for it :).

[LIP]

Well lets see one of the worst fuck ups for me probs happened about 5 times luckily is when I spend about half an hour having a rock solid hard on during foreplay that when it came to the sex it just wouldnt fucking stay up thats why sometimes the old blue pill does the job haha always makes your sex a hell of a lot better and lasts for a minimum of 3 hours which is good, nothing embarrasing about it its not just for old people and any girl will absolutely fall in love with you for it :).

I'm starting to concider getting me some. Not that i cant get it up - i just dont seem to be able to last as long as i used to. 20 minute is alot less than what i was capable of before. Maybe i should let her get on top so i dont have to use my brain - the more blood for my cock the better lol.

[cannabis campbell]

Lol its not much either £5 for 4 if I remember right and each one lasts about 4 hours quite popular around here most people who sell weed sell that aswell lol.

[Blitzed]

Last saturday i was with my current girlfriend, and while she was tossing me off she flattened one of my balls. I was bent over for half hour. She said shes never seen me in so much pain, and im not surprised.

That probably is the worst thing thats happened to me as far as sex goes. I've been lucky.


Im guessing tossing me off means, head. here in the states tossing usually refers to tossing the salad(oral anal sex:() but im guessing just a term used differently in england than in the USA. LOL

At first I was really let down by this, I was all confused, i mean LIP the guy with no feminine bone in his body, likes his butt licked..

[LIP]

Im guessing tossing me off means, head. here in the states tossing usually refers to tossing the salad(oral anal sex:() but im guessing just a term used differently in england than in the USA. LOL

At first I was really let down by this, I was all confused, i mean LIP the guy with no feminine bone in his body, likes his butt licked..

Oh my fuck no! She was wanking me off - hand job!!

As nice as getting your arse licked sounds, it wont be something i'll ever indulge in.

[cannabis campbell]

haha imagine saying that to your girl "why dont you lick my ass?"

"FUCK OFF"

HAHA

[LIP]

haha imagine saying that to your girl "why dont you lick my ass?"

"FUCK OFF"

HAHA

Hahaha, i might say that to her tonight, see the reaction on her face before she lunges at me with her claws out ahahaha!

[cannabis campbell]

lmao imagine if she said yes :wtf:! what would you do then lol

[LIP]

lmao imagine if she said yes :wtf:! what would you do then lol

I'd be out the door and running down the street faster than she could say "bend over then" hahahaha/

[Psycho4Bud]

I'd be out the door and running down the street faster than she could say "bend over then" hahahaha/

You get her down there jackin' the willie when she's "tossing the salad", you'll be in for an unforgetable evening.....HELL YEAH!:thumbsup:

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[dragonrider]

So I'm doing this chick doggie style, when all of a sudden I get this godawful stench in my nostrils. It's actually burning my nose like ammonia or something. My eyes are watering and I can feel my nose hairs scorching. We had been doing it in other positions earlier, and I hadn't noticed anything, so I'm not sure if it's just because now I'm basically "staring down the barrel" or if it was just parting the ass cheeks let something out, or maybe she ate two dozen jalapeno poppers earlier and just let fly when I got into position. I don't know.

Anyway, I usually try to make things last, but this time I just start pumping like crazy to get it over with. I'm sure she just thoguht I was really into it becasue I'm going like a jack hammer, and twisting this way and that, and making all these gasping and groaning sounds. But really I'm just trying to get out of the way of the noxious mustard gas fumes wafting up from her ass. For awhile I felt like I was in some kind of survival situation.

So I finally finished and got out of the gas cloud. I never told her that her ass really stunk that day, and we had plenty of good sex before that and after, but man, every time I got behind her after that I had an exit strategy all figured out just in case.

[stinkyattic]

....I'm going like a jack hammer, and twisting this way and that,....
So I finally finished and got out of the gas cloud.
Ahh. I see now why you are called Dragon Rider.

[420MissHighTimes420]

So I'm doing this chick doggie style, when all of a sudden I get this godawful stench in my nostrils. It's actually burning my nose like ammonia or something. My eyes are watering and I can feel my nose hairs scorching. We had been doing it in other positions earlier, and I hadn't noticed anything, so I'm not sure if it's just because now I'm basically "staring down the barrel" or if it was just parting the ass cheeks let something out, or maybe she ate two dozen jalapeno poppers earlier and just let fly when I got into position. I don't know.

Anyway, I usually try to make things last, but this time I just start pumping like crazy to get it over with. I'm sure she just thoguht I was really into it becasue I'm going like a jack hammer, and twisting this way and that, and making all these gasping and groaning sounds. But really I'm just trying to get out of the way of the noxious mustard gas fumes wafting up from her ass. For awhile I felt like I was in some kind of survival situation.

So I finally finished and got out of the gas cloud. I never told her that her ass really stunk that day, and we had plenty of good sex before that and after, but man, every time I got behind her after that I had an exit strategy all figured out just in case.



LMAO! hahaha

[GraziLovesMary]

So I'm doing this chick doggie style, when all of a sudden I get this godawful stench in my nostrils. It's actually burning my nose like ammonia or something. My eyes are watering and I can feel my nose hairs scorching. We had been doing it in other positions earlier, and I hadn't noticed anything, so I'm not sure if it's just because now I'm basically "staring down the barrel" or if it was just parting the ass cheeks let something out, or maybe she ate two dozen jalapeno poppers earlier and just let fly when I got into position. I don't know.

Anyway, I usually try to make things last, but this time I just start pumping like crazy to get it over with. I'm sure she just thoguht I was really into it becasue I'm going like a jack hammer, and twisting this way and that, and making all these gasping and groaning sounds. But really I'm just trying to get out of the way of the noxious mustard gas fumes wafting up from her ass. For awhile I felt like I was in some kind of survival situation.

So I finally finished and got out of the gas cloud. I never told her that her ass really stunk that day, and we had plenty of good sex before that and after, but man, every time I got behind her after that I had an exit strategy all figured out just in case.

That story was almost as awesome as the cherry-poppin tongue story. You get rep for that.

[GraziLovesMary]

No fucking joke man. When you're the first and only kid at school who has their own bong it becomes more than a regular piece. Everyone else I knew loved her too.

Dude... my deep condolences... Ive nearly shed a tear upon the breaking of a pivotal pot piece that I personally purchased.

[Reefer Rogue]

My girlfriend dumped me today, we didn't even get to celebrate our 6 month anniversary. It hurt a lot, I even shed a couple tears from the overwhelming emotion, however, after reasoning, my situaton is so miniscule in comparison to other world issues it seems pointless to get myself down about it. I do think about her a lot still. She said I deserved better, which i did and do to be honest. I won't go into it, what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger though this experianced gained. Today I am a free man, my liberty at its highest. I choose to be alone for now, i shall be back, i shall find love one day...

[ReUp]

My girlfriend dumped me today, we didn't even get to celebrate our 6 month anniversary. It hurt a lot, I even shed a couple tears from the overwhelming emotion, however, after reasoning, my situaton is so miniscule in comparison to other world issues it seems pointless to get myself down about it. I do think about her a lot still. She said I deserved better, which i did and do to be honest. I won't go into it, what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger though this experianced gained. Today I am a free man, my liberty at its highest. I choose to be alone for now, i shall be back, i shall find love one day...

May the force be with you.

[el_fantistico]

I once snapped a vibe in half in a girls ass.

The first time I fingered a girl she was on the rag.

The second time a fingered a girl she was on the rag.

A girl once left skid marks on my sheets.

'nuff said.

El Fantistico :smokin:

[Reefer Rogue]

May the force be with you.

Cheers man, I appreciate it. She replied to my text i sent her earlier that day and then i sent her some long message telling her how i felt about pretty much everything. She seemed to like that tho. Anyway, we're still good friends, i'm hangin out with her today and we're gonna talk about everything.

[ReUp]

Cheers man, I appreciate it. She replied to my text i sent her earlier that day and then i sent her some long message telling her how i felt about pretty much everything. She seemed to like that tho. Anyway, we're still good friends, i'm hangin out with her today and we're gonna talk about everything.

By talk I certainly hope you mean bone.

[Reefer Rogue]

I wish my friend, I wish. We talked today, i feel much better, we're still really close, however just friends at this moment in time, or was it many hours of time ago, you see time has changed, times are changing, the time is: Why does it matter? Why must we dictate to time, why me follow these weekdays, wtf is a monday?! Anywho, have a good one, coz i'm blasted lol :stoned:

Legalize the marijuana

YouTube - Peter Tosh 1979-07-16 Pt 7: Bush Doctor (http://youtube.com/watch?v=bp5BTju5QBM)

[O. G. ganja smoker]

ok heres mine my first time (i was 16) i went to my girlfreinds house now (ex girlfriend) her parents got drunk and ended up going to the store and left us alone (said they trusted us big mistake;)) anyways we end up fucking its my first time and it was pretty good,so as a horny ass teen we took advantage of the little time we had and did the deed and her parents werent gone that long so i dident get to cum so that sucked but at least i hit those right but anyways i go home and the next day she hits me up and i tell her to come over and my parents werent home.so her mom brings her and drops her off and before she does she asks me if my parents are home and i nervously said yes (pressure from my lady not proud of lying) so she believes us and we go in (were lucky cuz they would have usually checked if they were home and they are strict) well i must have been hella desperate cuz i went at it like crazy i was thrusting so hard and fast that i wasint paying attention so it slipped out and i was stilll hard so when i when forward (dident feel it come out) it ramed her in her asshole really hard and she almost started crying and i was really embarassed she told me to check out if she was bleeding and she was. She started trippin out like she needed to get surgery (HAHAHA IT WAS ONLY A SMALL CUT) and then she left and told her older sister thinking that she could give her advice and her sister said if you dont tell mom what happened ima tell her. So she told them and they were cool about it but not happy that i beat those on thier daughter, so they call me over to apologize and i did and told them and that i was sorry for lying to them (it was worth it untill the incident) BLAH BLAH BLAH but then her dad said "Lets talk alone for a sec" and when his wife went inside he told me " i dont blame you at all but dont EVER put ur dick in my daughters ass ever again" hahahahahaha but i said ok cuz dude was like 7 ft tall and i was 6ft and he was an ex chain gang biker dude so i dident want to argue with him.

[PlantBoxer]

In like 1974, I graduated high school, I had my own place, a tiny POS trailer on a nice country lot. Of course, it was party central!!
My girlfriends family, at that time, were getting ready to leave the area, and she still had one year left in highschool. Since I had graduated, and lived on my own, they knew, school was important to me, and I would make her finish, and not quit.
They moved away, she moved in.
I was heavy into retail, in those days, and there was always a ton of people around. There was always passed out people around also.
One morning, I'm coming too, very slowly, still happy dazed, and see this shape, in our bed, a girl, Wendy! She is a class mate, and also one of a group of my ladies friends, she has known for a long time. She is awake and looking my way, then as I look over, at my lady, she's awake also...but the way they were laying, was sooo erotic!! I know, something is happening under the blankets. I suggest that Wendy comes up between us. She smiles, and ask what are you after, with her devilish grin? I want to see you kiss her, pointing my lady. I knew my lady had bi thoughts, but never had acted on them. Wendy and her just looked at each other, and I knew it was going to happen!! I'm like 17, have I died and gone to heaven man?!! Had a double attack of morning wood, and fantasy wood all together!!
Wendy scouchees up between us, and I have no idea what to do next, so I reach over for my ladies hand, and lay it on Wendy chest, and massage the back of her hand.
Then I take Wendys hand, and bring it to meet my ladies hand, and the electricity ran thru all of us. We were all like live wires, every touch, burned, scalded your mind, and talk about your senses reeling, it was awsome!!
At one point, I was in the middle, and getting my first dual oral pleasure, first one then the other, then they would kiss, then back to me, as time went on, my orgasm was building, like never before, and I dont remember knowing who was working on me, but I said, IT"S DAMN CLOSE NOW, and the fantastic suction just kept going, and ERUPT I DID!! I had know idea, but it was Wendy, who took it, and it came right back out, almost as fast, what a mood killer!! She had never let a guy finish in her mouth, and wanted to do it, as the passion got the best of her!! Poor girl, got so sick, embaressed, and would not come out of the bathroom, crying for an hour or so.
We all got cleaned up, made some breakfast, and was able to laugh about latter on.
The 3 of us stayed friends for many years, and now all these years latter, it still was an amazing time, that went south at the very end, so still a great time.

[dragonrider]

" i dont blame you at all but dont EVER put ur dick in my daughters ass ever again" .
Hilarious! Hahahahahaha!

Now son, I'm cool with everything, but just keep your dick out of my daughter's ass from now on! Hahahahaha!

It's all fun and games until someone tears an asshole!

[The White Monk]

1. couldn't keep it up while sober (has only happened once sober). i blame it on the weird noises the chick was making when it was barely in. (it was kind of a weird "oi" sound like a piglett)
2. couldn't get it up while stoned (the first and only time i will ever try to have sex while blazed)
3. ate out my girlfriend for a while in the shower. the lights were really dim and it was at night. started tasting like raw steak. it finally hit me that i had been lapping up period blood. from that day forward, i have NEVER given a girl oral. f#$%in repulsive.
4. tried anal. poop on dick. eww.
5. tried anal again. no poo, but odor persisted. eww.
6. tried to titfuck. it sucked. it looks way better than it feels. maybe it would feel better on real giant tits, but these ones were implants, so it was like trying to fuck two balloons.

and then numerous other times where the smelly vag killed the mood

you'd be amazed at how many hot chicks take horrible care of their beavers.

[The White Monk]

So I'm doing this chick doggie style, when all of a sudden I get this godawful stench in my nostrils. It's actually burning my nose like ammonia or something. My eyes are watering and I can feel my nose hairs scorching. We had been doing it in other positions earlier, and I hadn't noticed anything, so I'm not sure if it's just because now I'm basically "staring down the barrel" or if it was just parting the ass cheeks let something out, or maybe she ate two dozen jalapeno poppers earlier and just let fly when I got into position. I don't know.

Anyway, I usually try to make things last, but this time I just start pumping like crazy to get it over with. I'm sure she just thoguht I was really into it becasue I'm going like a jack hammer, and twisting this way and that, and making all these gasping and groaning sounds. But really I'm just trying to get out of the way of the noxious mustard gas fumes wafting up from her ass. For awhile I felt like I was in some kind of survival situation.

So I finally finished and got out of the gas cloud. I never told her that her ass really stunk that day, and we had plenty of good sex before that and after, but man, every time I got behind her after that I had an exit strategy all figured out just in case.
this story nearly made me cry laughing LMFAO