Good jokes

[scobbie]

right people lookin for some good jokes as i have a freind who is a stand up comidene and she is allways pulling these shit jokes so i thought i would try and get her some new material need some new ones not the old shit you got when at school so batter in and give them here as there is some funny people on this site

[Harvesthetic]

"How long have you been working at that office ?"

"Ever since they threatened to fire me."

[Blowboy]

There's a plane crash on an island, and the only survivors are two americans and a japanese. One of the americans says "allright, you go search for possible inhabitants (pointing to the other american), and you go search for supplies(pointing to the japanese). I'll go search wood for a fire, and we'll meet here tonight."
So, when it's night, the two americans are at the rendez-vous point, but the japanese is missing.
Suddenly he jumps out of the bushes and yells
SUPPLIES!!!
(might be funnier if heard)

[scobbie]

lol hahahahahaha good ones lads. hahahahah

[friendowl]

not a joke but i was takling to this guy and i heard

"chickenbreath""chickenbreath""cheese mine liverlone"
translation

she cant breath she cant breath shes mine leave her alone

[Highker]

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
For drizzle

and my fav.

Knock, knock?
Whose there?
Impatient cow...
Impatient... <interrupt them and say "Moo">
It rocks

[friendowl]

why did the lil bitch run out of the kitchen ?

she didnt want to see the bacon strip or the orange peel

[beachguy in thongs]

Oh,. wait, I got one!!!

Umm, the, uh, priest, uhh, no, okay, here's one, you see, there was this, no, okay, a good one for ya:

How many, I forgot now.