I need advice, for once.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Okay, here the Penguin is, asking for relationship advice.

I have two women whom I love very deeply, but I don't know which one to choose, and I'm really stuck.

Paige, who cares for me and hates even to see me hurt in any way, and who has so much in common with me it's insane, yet is going out with my best friend.

Amy, who doesn't think the way I do, but cares for me, and even though we have massive fights occasionally, some invisible tie brought us together even though we met fighting, and has kept us together. We really have no way of explaining it.


We had drama enough today, but I know it's going to come down to one, another, or neither, and I need advice. Please help, and don't fuck with me, I'm dead serious here.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

i will LAUGH MY ASS OFF if they both turn out to be polygamists! :D

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Amy's a Christian, David, and likes adhering to her Christian morals.

[Its a Plant]

just from what I read, it sounded like you didnt have nearly the problems with Paige. I would probably not want to even worry about fighting a lot in a relationship; you guys should be past that point to some degree. I think its kinda tough for anyone else to give advice on what you know only you can do. Imagine what your life would be like without one and then the other, and see which one you feel stronger about. I dunno, hope this helps, and good luck. :stoned:

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Well.

For starters men dont choose women. They do the choosing always. The relationship is always on a womans turf. They say when its over 90% of the time. You cannot possess a woman either. She will do what she wants, when she wants to do it.

She does the choosing in the beginning by flirting, you approach, stop, backup and then she chases. Its a rythym. Dont use your intellect to outsmart mother nature.


It sounds like Paige put you in the "friends" catagory because she, "doest want to see you hurt in any way" and she is, "going out with your best friend".

Learn to bottom line her actions. To me, you are saying which one should I choose? when Im hearing, "friends" by her, end of story.

Women will not flat out tell you "no" the majority of the time, and will say it in a different way, (womanese) if they are not interested, it sounds like she is saying, "friends" i.e. not lovers by saying "doesnt want to hurt you". So by the sounds of it she already said no and I dont see how the choice is yours?

Could have been any number of reasons she lost interest, but mainly like I always say
Confidence, Challenge and self-control. Did you fail to do something in this area?
The vast majority of the times its one of these things.


Amy wouldnt happen to be mad at you for possibly making comparisons or anything like that or talking about this other girl maybe? Do you talk about Paige AT ALL to her?
Maybe Amy is disrespected that you might be making comparisons. There should be no talk at all about the other girl or making comparisons. Period.

Fighting occasionally, usually is also spiritually related. Sometimes neccessary to grow individually or as a couple. Could be a past hurt that one feels when triggered by something such as a fear in something you do or she does to you????

Just know that when you see anger it means: Hurt, Fear or Frustration.
One or a combination of the three. So the next time she is angry, if she is initiates it look for what is beneath the anger to solve the problem. Using validating words like "I understand", (when you really do) is important after being a reflective listener. When she is done talking ask her if there is anything else bothering her. Continue to listen. this is the best way to diffuse a woman who is upset.

But if you dont want to loose Amy you need to start doing the right things to keep her attracted to you.

Id also be careful when you use the word "love". Saying you love two women very deeply doesnt make sense to me.
Your reacting to something else.

use that word very lightly in your relationship so you are an emotional challenge, which is what women want.

You cannot project "your love" into a woman and expect it to be returned, or gain acceptance, it doesnt work that way. Its HER interest level in YOU not the other way around.

Remember the three C's. Confidence, Challenge and Control (of yourself not her). Tattoo those words on your bicep.


Peace


.

[Lakota]

Always remember....good girls doing nasty stuff with you is WAY hotter then bad girls doing nasty shit with you.

The one girl has a boyfriend...she is OFF the table

Only one choice....Amy. Just watch out for those ahhhh morals. THATS a lot of baggage.

[justinsane]

man.. you are in a huge bind here.

wow, to be honest with you, i dont think either of them are worth the consequences that would boil over if you choose one or the other

a best friend is definitly more important than any relationship

and a girl who doesnt think like you, most likely never will.

[Euphoric]

Paige. :thumbsup:

[Musician]

fuck both and see whos better

[beachguy in thongs]

Okay, here the Penguin is, asking for relationship advice.

I have two women whom I love very deeply, but I don't know which one to choose, and I'm really stuck.


Let them choose you. Maybe someone has said that, already.

[beachguy in thongs]

Always remember....good girls doing nasty stuff with you is WAY hotter then bad girls doing nasty shit with you.


LOL. Good explanation.

But what if the bad girl just gives nastier blow jobs?

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Wow, good advice.

I'm leaning heavily towards Amy right now.

The morals don't come into play, she actually thinks my philosophies are extremely interesting.

She just "doesn't like that (I) am throwing (my) life away on drugs".

Paige, I'm confused by her actions as well.

Okay, I'd tell you why I still have my hopes up with Paige, but that's priveledged information.

I wrote Amy a letter telling her how I feel and how confused I am (it's nothing new, we've been through it before), but I think I'm going to agree with the...

"Let them choose you" mentality.

Patience is my best virtue, I guess.

Thanks for the advice.

And Ganjasaurosrex, I don't toss "Love" around either.

I mean, there's love, and then there's LOVE.

I fully meant the LOVE part.

And honestly, I don't know where I'd be without Paige. But Amy is and has been a major part of my life since June. So...

Patience.

Goddamnit, patience.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Oh, Justinsane, I know there are consequences to this shit.

That's what's causing the bind, duh.

Drama drama drama, can't high school life be made up of more than that?

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Relationships that are just constant fighting may work but aren't always the best.

My ex and I used to fight constantly and dated on and off for about two years, yet it turned into an abusive relationship due to the amount of fighting.

[friendowl]

go with paige.or fuck em both or dump em and get new chicks or turn gay and hook up with your homeboy.too many decisions

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Relationships that are just constant fighting may work but aren't always the best.

My ex and I used to fight constantly and dated on and off for about two years, yet it turned into an abusive relationship due to the amount of fighting.
Okay, hold on, let me reword it.

Amy and I have plenty of things we have fought about, but usually we avoid talking about/doing things that make us fight.

Usually an argument lasts about 2 minutes. We've only had big tear-bringing fights twice.

[Paige]

This isnt dead haha

ok well

i would let the girls too ;)

haha jake.. your crazy

kid

i cant bvelive you

silly

but still

i dunno
what to say

i was kinda liek

:| half the time

yet i am laughing inside :D haha

by reading this

it has made me tired

adn confused

and since i dont have glasses on

makes my ehad hurt

and i bit my lip liek 4398575489 times
but .. yeah
confuzsed as well

[Paige]

This is Penguin/Jake...just on Paige's computer.

I'm sorry your head hurt from reading it.

And I'm sorry you're confused and tired.

And that you but your lip so much :(

I just love you a lot.

Amy's out of the question, I love you.

All I'm doing is waiting for you, m'love.

Hanging out at your house is fun :D

But when I saw you wanted to read this I was like :O Oh shit!

And I'm sorry about breaking the chair, that damn thing's fragile.

Peace out, keep thinking about it, but be careful with your lip.

[Musician]

woha so you are page lol i just realized it

so actually you know everything that penguin writes on these forums

omfg

funny

[Paige]

haha yeah

i happen to be his best friend paige :D

<3

but yeah

you bitch

braking my chair

haha <3

JEEEZZZZZZ i have that apple jack still stuck in my nose :[

[Paige]

(Peng again)

Don't put apple jacks in your nose and I won't break your chair :p.

Seriously, keep thinking about it.

Love ya <3

[Paige]

haha deal

<3

about the apple jacks :D

[beachguy in thongs]

This isnt dead haha

ok well

i would let the girls too ;)

haha jake.. your crazy

kid

i cant bvelive you

silly

but still

i dunno
what to say

i was kinda liek

:| half the time

yet i am laughing inside :D haha

by reading this

it has made me tired

adn confused

and since i dont have glasses on

makes my ehad hurt

and i bit my lip liek 4398575489 times
but .. yeah
confuzsed as well


P.E.N.G.U.I.N., there's your cue. I'm sure she left a phone number in there, somewhere! Sounds good. Now, I'm thinking there is no Paige, at all. :what:

[Paige]

There is a Paige, you psychotic person.

We're hanging out and sharing her computer, and I don't want to keep switching accounts to post.

We're communicating via posting because it's kind of uncomfortable to talk about in person.

Duh.

Psycho.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Maybe you need to talk about it in person, though.


It seems to me that you, Paige are trying to avoid getting into a serious relationship for what ever reason, fear of heartbreak, not ready for one, what ever. While Jake is willing to do what ever you want BUT is seriously craving a serious, mature relationship with you.

[beachguy in thongs]

There is a Paige, you psychotic person.

We're hanging out and sharing her computer, and I don't want to keep switching accounts to post.

We're communicating via posting because it's kind of uncomfortable to talk about in person.

Duh.

Psycho.


From where I see it, negatives cancel out, and so does your "psycho" that you repeated, so, in essence, you just called me a tic.

I'd feel much more comfortable talking about this in person, I don't know why you'd say that. That's always the best way to contact someone, is face to face. That way their perception of you isn't distorted by anything. Maybe, you'll fall in love and then, one day, one of you'll will post your break-up letter online.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

tahaha beachy <3.

[s2headhunter]

umm dude ive been in a situation like that and it sucked im sorry this wont be a helpful post but go with what you ultimately feel...theres one overwhelming feeling in there man...just listen to it an act on it...no regrets

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

I know what you guys mean, but Paige and I are used to the internet. I mean, it means more to say it face to face, but to look someone in the eyes and talk like that...It's harder than to post it. Although, it takes a while for a response, it's so much easier to eloquently put your feelings in the form of text and fire away. Babyface, you hit the NAIL on the FUCKING head with that post about what I want and what Paige wants, I believe.

Sorry we took up your guys' time on the forums, but we were hanging out and it was hard to comfortably talk about it.

Plus, some skater friends of Paige's joined us unexpectedly, so it was a lot easier than talking it out in front of them verbally.

In my opinion, anyway.

[beachguy in thongs]

I lot of people express themselves through writing better, anyway.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

We're raised to express ourselves through writing better.

Everything in our education is impersonal, we are told to express our thoughts via pen and paper.

It's only natural that through IMing and online blogging (which is what you could categorize this site as) we can express ourselves more easily.

Why do you think people have to write speeches, and don't just go up with a list of things to talk about?

Because it's easier to write your feelings than come up with them on the spot.

It's what society produces.

It's what society has produced since the birth of mass education (or is it mass hypnotism?).

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Just one problem with communicating in text.

You say, "It means more to say it face to face", I say It means everything to say it face to face. Just dont say the wrong things or project the wrong things.

Your giving up something very valuable and that is to communicate on her DIFFERENT levels and that is done face to face. This is what every woman is looking for. Men communicate on one level, (directly). While women can communicate on up to 4, including directly and most often indirectly. You can never see that looking at text see what Im saying.

Your throwing Confidence, sexual value, suggestion, etc, etc. out the window, the most powerful things you have to offer by avoiding face to face interactions.

Writing your feelings is spilling your guts so to speak. Dont. Play your cards close to your chest. Be honest but open up very, very slowly. Twice as slow as she.
No conformations about where she stands with you. Spilling ones guts,(telling her your feelings), for acceptance is the wrong approach and worst thing you can do.

Be emotionally challenging.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Just one problem with communicating in text.

You say, "It means more to say it face to face", I say It means everything to say it face to face. Just dont say the wrong things or project the wrong things.

Your giving up something very valuable and that is to communicate on her DIFFERENT levels and that is done face to face. This is what every woman is looking for. Men communicate on one level, (directly). While women can communicate on up to 4, including directly and most often indirectly. You can never see that looking at text see what Im saying.

Your throwing Confidence, sexual value, suggestion, etc, etc. out the window, the most powerful things you have to offer by avoiding face to face interactions.

Writing your feelings is spilling your guts so to speak. Dont. Play your cards close to your chest. Be honest but open up very, very slowly. Twice as slow as she.
No conformations about where she stands with you. Spilling ones guts,(telling her your feelings), for acceptance is the wrong approach and worst thing you can do.

Be emotionally challenging.

SHUT UP.

Okay?

Have you ever thought that there are exceptions to your oh-so confidently given advice?

There are.

Being an emotional challenge and all that are great, but secrecy is a terrible practice.

Hiding one's emotions to make their lover more interested is BULL SHIT!

Stop spouting your advice.

Accept that, just maybe, there are exceptions.

And, since Paige is interested enough to say it could happen, just that she's interested in having fun and not missing out on the teen years, I think you're wrong here.

I like your advice, but don't adhere to it if it's not working in a certain case.

Besides, say it doesn't work out between Paige and I, what then? I'll probably take some of your better advice, but do what I feel is right.

You know why?

Because if I have to use your methods to find a girl, they aren't falling for me, they're falling for a me/you hybrid.

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Your right. Just be yourself......................... Later.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Your right. Just be yourself......................... Later.

Your best advice yet :thumbsup:

[GratefulDead4ever]

sorry for me being dumb but did paige break your friends heart or something

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

He broke up with her, but the details are hush hush, unless Paige wants me to disclose them. I don't want to start unnecessary gossip about it.

[Paige]

haha

his friend

cameron

broke my heart

not the other way around

and jake

yeah we might be together sometime

but i liek cam

ALOT

and have

FOREVER

and i want to be with him right now

but he cares SOOOO much about your feelings

as do i

but

yeah

so he is slowly braking my heart


< // 3

[Paige]

o and i am..

way depressed and angry right now

and/


my emotions are running on high

rigth now

so

sorry if it all seems sudden and

kinda rude

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

o and i am..

way depressed and angry right now

and/


my emotions are running on high

rigth now

so

sorry if it all seems sudden and

kinda rude

It didn't seem rude...

I know you like him, but y'know, he loves Marlie and he's just barely starting to get over her, and there's no way I can, or even he can, feel totally comfortable with you and him going out because it's just...weird...

Whatever, though, do what you will, as long as you come back to me safe :D <3

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

haha

his friend

cameron

broke my heart

not the other way around

and jake

yeah we might be together sometime

but i liek cam

ALOT

and have

FOREVER

and i want to be with him right now

but he cares SOOOO much about your feelings

as do i

but

yeah

so he is slowly braking my heart


< // 3

I know the feeling.

You know heartbreak's around the corner, but you're clinging to the hope you're going to avoid it. I've been there before and I keep feeling like I am now...

:( *hug emoticon* I'm sorry, hon.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Sorry but if you're going to make this so incredibly public can you please stop hitting the enter key :( Please?

I'll give you a cookie.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Cookie? Give it up and you'll never see me hit enter again...

[/DISHONESTY]

It'sbetterthanthepeoplewhoneverusetheenterkeyandth oserarepeoplewhoneverevenusespaces,thoseweirdfucke rs.

[Paige]

o god i hate that...

sorry it is just

a habit i will try though* restrains from pressing enter* i now jake.. but it makes me soooo sad cuz i liek him.. and i dont want to brake your heart lkike you said

[Paige]

(*) know ( sorry that was bugging me )

[Paige]

DUH JAKE!!!! i didnt see the edit thing.. shut up

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

There's an edit button...

Yeah, I understand.

[Paige]

i know.. i said i didnt see it... and.. aahhh..

CONFUSED I HATE THIS
i should go lesbian jk but seriously

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Don't go lesbian...that'd make me all alone :(...

You never know, you might run in to this same dilemma as a lesbian...

[ScarlettCrush]

if she doesn't want to hurt you she won't- actions speak louder than words.
Don't listen to what people say, watch how they act. Words are very easy to say just any of them.