Dear Santa

[Blowen1977Z28]

Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! (While filled with illusion I wrote you this letter) I asked for
a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you
Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behave better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!

WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO,
A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL FUCK YOU UP!" I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FUCKING BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG, SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH!
Love,
Lil Johnny

[GratefulDead4ever]

try not to be so hostile the guy only has like a 6 billion other kids to visit give him a break and his elves can only work so hard but i am sure you will get what you want lil jon you just got to be a good stoner.

[kuulbns]

lmao!!!!

[tiewredeN]

Kuul maby santa whas smoking some weed and he whas lost,I think he whas smoking weed from Holland hahahahaha I say doont throw so much in it but noooooooo SANTA wil not listing .

[phoenix]

Haha, I remember seeing that..funny letter. :D

[Blowen1977Z28]

Twas the night of Buzziz Frustration
Twas a quiet night,
And all through the house,
No one was home,
Not even the spouse.
I was real horny,
With no one here who would care,
So I dialed AOL,
To see if My friends were there.
I looked at my buddy list,
To see who was online,
While visions of cyber-sex,
Danced through my mind.
When all of a sudden,
Who on my list should appear,
Just the best little cyber-babe,
I'd ever had here.
I im'd her with "hey darlin",
Kisses, hugs, and hello,
When I suggested a private room,
She said 'lets go".
I made up a name,
We both clicked, and were in,
Anticipating the fun that,
Was about to begin.
We {S kissed and {S hugged,
Then our clothes we did shuck,
It was just then,
I ran out of luck.
Naked and hot,
To the imaginary bed we scooted,
When the next thing I knew,
I had been booted.
I ranted and raved,
And cursed AOL,
For taking my money and,
Putting me through hell.
I signed on again,
And imaptiently waited,
Hoping and praying,
Her lust hadn't abated.
I was finally online and,
To the room I did dash,
To my little cyber-girl,
And heaven at last.
We got past the foreplay,
Were cyber-f**kin and then,
To my utter frustration,
I was booted again.
I cursed AOL,
As I got back online,
For what I swore would be,
The very last time.
We got down to business,
And as the end neared,
It happened again,
That thing that I feared.
Now the first was bad timing,
The second rough,
But the third time booted,
I'd had enough.
A letter I wrote,
Addressed to Steve Case,
Telling him what I would do,
If we ever came face to face.
I wrote in great detail,
Just how he would pay,
For my getting booted,
Three times getting layed.
You may think this funny,
A ass-slappin hoot,
But the next time you cyber,
WATCH OUT FOR THE BOOT.