Ganjasaurusrex
12-13-2005, 03:33 AM
Wanna see an argument go from 0 to 50 in 30 seconds with your woman?
This is the very reason why women want to hear "Im sorry" and dont. This is Most often the reason why men are reluctant to say it again after going through it once.
There is one point in the "Im sorry" confession process that makes it accellerate and cause more resentment and arguing.
In guy language when a guy tells another guy he's sorry and genuinely means it, in his language this means................(end of story).
In woman language when I guy says he is sorry to her for something he did and fessed up to, (like he should always do), when she hears "Im sorry for......" she will then, 95 percent of the time, tell him WHY HE SHOULD FEEL THAT WAY.
When a guy hears this, when in his mind, sorry means," end of story" and she continues to tell him why he should feel that way, he gets MORE frustrated. Frustration leads to anger and more resentment or in the worst cases physical abuse.
So guys when you know this is what will happen ahead of time, expect it. know what it is and dont REACT to it.
If you did something wrong, you apologize, let her go through this process. If you cross your arms, (rejection of the speaker/ protection of self) it sends the wrong message as well as your verbal defense after you apologized. Body language is really important and to keep in check.
I will tell you first hand it is not easy to stand and get ripped by a woman after you say your sorry. You WILL hear things that are going to hurt and make you REACT defensively. But it is imperative to understand this unnoticed differernce to keep something small from turning into something worse. HMMM. SELF-control?
So when you see an angry woman, dont just look at the emotion of anger. Men see only anger. When you see anger,( in anyone for that matter) you are seeing one or more of the following things:
a. Hurt
b. Fear
c. Frustration
Now if you can identify one or a combination of things it really helps in getting to the source and difusing the situation EARLY.
Identify which it is, combine that with your apology and be prepared to let her wind down. NO DEFENSIVE REMARKS, this makes her turn up the heat.
Just be quiet.
If you can contain these emotions in a proverbial "glass jar" in your mind its easier not to react to it and maintain self control, Its called containment.
This is the very reason why women want to hear "Im sorry" and dont. This is Most often the reason why men are reluctant to say it again after going through it once.
There is one point in the "Im sorry" confession process that makes it accellerate and cause more resentment and arguing.
In guy language when a guy tells another guy he's sorry and genuinely means it, in his language this means................(end of story).
In woman language when I guy says he is sorry to her for something he did and fessed up to, (like he should always do), when she hears "Im sorry for......" she will then, 95 percent of the time, tell him WHY HE SHOULD FEEL THAT WAY.
When a guy hears this, when in his mind, sorry means," end of story" and she continues to tell him why he should feel that way, he gets MORE frustrated. Frustration leads to anger and more resentment or in the worst cases physical abuse.
So guys when you know this is what will happen ahead of time, expect it. know what it is and dont REACT to it.
If you did something wrong, you apologize, let her go through this process. If you cross your arms, (rejection of the speaker/ protection of self) it sends the wrong message as well as your verbal defense after you apologized. Body language is really important and to keep in check.
I will tell you first hand it is not easy to stand and get ripped by a woman after you say your sorry. You WILL hear things that are going to hurt and make you REACT defensively. But it is imperative to understand this unnoticed differernce to keep something small from turning into something worse. HMMM. SELF-control?
So when you see an angry woman, dont just look at the emotion of anger. Men see only anger. When you see anger,( in anyone for that matter) you are seeing one or more of the following things:
a. Hurt
b. Fear
c. Frustration
Now if you can identify one or a combination of things it really helps in getting to the source and difusing the situation EARLY.
Identify which it is, combine that with your apology and be prepared to let her wind down. NO DEFENSIVE REMARKS, this makes her turn up the heat.
Just be quiet.
If you can contain these emotions in a proverbial "glass jar" in your mind its easier not to react to it and maintain self control, Its called containment.