Ganjasaurusrex
12-06-2005, 08:45 AM
She weighs 116lbs. and you weigh 180 lbs. plus you have more muscles, (hopefully!) From the outside, it would appear that the advantage is yours, but in reality she is the stronger of the species when it comes to love. Why? Because she cheats! She uses psychological tactics and stratagies that are foreign to rational, logically thinking men.
The main problem with men is not that they dominate, but that they are dominated. All the talk shows, all the articles in the women's magazine, and all the self-help books try, ironically, to empower women when they already have the upper hand when it comes to dating. When it comes to the war between the sexes women have m-16s and men have bb guns.
Women also have a second language called womanese which is meant to confuse men when it comes to relationships. See if this sounds familiar.
"We are not the same type". That is womanese for, "You are not rich".
"But I love him". That is womanese for, "He can run me over with a car and I would say "It was an accident".
"Its late". That is womanese for, "We arent going to bed together".
"lets just see where it goes", That is womanese for "It aint going nowhere".
"I like sensitive guys", That is womanese for "I like to dominate men".
"No rush", That is womanese for "It will never happen"
"Looks arent important". Thats womanese for "Looks are important".
"Money isnt important" Thats womanese for "Money is important and thats why I brought it up".
"Where is this going" That is womanese for "when are we going to get married".
"Im tired of games". That is womanese for "The next male body who comes along will get lucky"
"Your nice". That is womanese for "Your not an emotional challenge".
"l'll think about it". That is womanese for "Not if we were stranded on a desert island".
"Our values have changed". That is womanese for "I am dumping you because I cannot change you, you moron.
"I dont go out with guys that make less than I do". That is womanese for, " Now I know what a rich man goes through".
"we grew apart", That is womanese for "He forgot about romance and affection".
"sleeping together", That is womanese for "not sleeeping together".
"I have nothing to wear" That is womanese for "I have 3 closets full of clothes"
"I cannot figure you out" That is womanese for "You, being a challenge are raising my interest level".
He played games", That is womanese for, "I am structured and have no sense of humor"
"We broke up", That is womanese for, "I dumped him".
Ok. you get the idea. Now lets look at what a woman is looking for in a man.
Women are looking for three male strength qualities in a guy. It is important that these qualities be shown by doing certain things even before asking her out.
These qualities are:
A. CONFIDENCE, (Comprised of SELF-CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM).
B. CONTROL (as in SELF CONTROL, PATIENCE and DISIPLINE).
C. CHALLENGE.
Provided you have passed the physical appearance test,
If something is going wrong it is because of one or more of these three things.
So how does a guy show these strength qualities?
Confidence is shown by asking her for the phone number directly. When you get it you NEVER, EVER say "Ill call you". This is a subtle yet powerful thing to keep her WONDERING if you will or not, the idea is to increase DOUBT whenever possible of where she stands with you. Just say, "Thanks". Too much hope kills doubt. Doubt is a good thing in small quantities. Foster a little doubt whenever possible. BE THE FIRST TO END THE CONVERSATION AND BE THE FIRST TO DEPART after getting the number.
Challenge is shown by not being readily available. YOU ARE NEVER AVAILABLE TO GO OUT ON FRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHT FOR SEVERAL WEEKS INTO DATING. She doesnt have to know you are at home cleaning out your sock drawer on Saturday night. Rest assured that you planted a seed in her head and she will be WONDERING. "Why hasnt he called like the rest of the guys", "when is he going to call", "who is he out with on the weekend". Women love to wonder in this way. You kill it when you offer reasurances. Never fall into this trap.
Most guys call back within two days predictably. WHEN YOU DO CALL HER FOR THE FIRST TIME WAIT 5-9 DAYS BEFORE CALLING. She will probably act a little miffed, but this is good, I dont remember saying you would call did you? She cant verbalize it but senses something is different this time. GOOD! Its about time the shoe is on the other foot this time. She cant reject you anymore than she can stand up and sit down at the same time.
NEVER ASK A WOMAN: "Would you like to go out"?, "Are you busy this weekend"?,"Do you have a boyfriend"(they all have boyfriends), "Do you think we could get together this weekend if you aren't busy"?
TRANSLATION: WEAK AND MEAK. A man who is Confident is direct and and doesnt throw the ball back in her court. A Confident man has a definite plan consisting of the day, time and place. He also has a back up plan if for example that restaraunt doesnt work out. He usually checks things out a head of time. How long it takes to get for here to there, etc.
When you call her note the following: YOU DO NOT TALK ON AN ANSWERING MACHINE. PERIOD. An answering machine is a tool that women use against us, so is having someone else intercept the call for her. Dont fall for anything except talking directly to her on the phone . YOU NEVER ASK, "So what do you want to do". You show no confidence. You find out for example she likes Italian food. So, you say, "Jane I would like to take you out to an Italian restaurant at 7pm on Wednesday would you like to join me". (very direct question which requires a direct answer), There should be no other conversation that is going to drag on. You wing the question just like you are commenting on the color of the sky, it comes out that easily. Keep it short, be direct and have a plan so she doesnt even have to think. Remember she may counter and say, " I can only go out Friday or Saturday". Dont fall for that, your being tested. Remember you are only available MON-THURS for several weeks into dating, sorry! Its important to mean what you say here. Keep her wondering and build mystery this is something she never gets enough of. Give her assurances like she is wanting from you and you will blow it. Give her what she needs not what she says she needs. Confusion is her game. Challenge is ours.
Dressing good, being well groomed, being polite yet having the ability to tell her "no" as early as possible are also very important. Beautiful women need to hear the word "no" from a man more than anything. Women in general need to hear you say "no" once in a while when you really mean it and that you will walk if pushed hard enough.Its called backbone. She needs to know that when she pushes that it you wont turn into mush. You do not put up with put-downs against you or your gender, "Men" Its called not being accomodating, which also means having an opinion of your own. Call her on the carpet when you are tested with respect. "whoa" or "hey" are a couple of words to put the brakes on to let her know that you are someone to be respected and that respect is a two way street. Unfortunatly even the nicest people push the boundries of respect so be prepared for this ahead of time.
Do not give flowers, gifts, chocolate etc. while dating. It has only negative association when you give "things" because you are making her feel obligated from the start which is uncomfortable for her. You will also kill the notion of challenge at the same time. So no giving of "things" early on.
Keep in mind that you think that restaurants are for eating, which they are, but be forewarned it is also her favorite place to ask you test questions. She will see if she can ask you questions and then see if you continue to talk about yourself and your accomplishments. So when she throws a zinger at you, "So when was your last relationship", She is looking for reactions here so watch out and be ready for the test questions.
When she asks you a general question, take that as a clue to shift back and ask her questions about herself. Throw off her agenda and balance with your questions. Word your questions so they cant be just yes or no type answers in return. Try to draw out feelings or opinions on things.
Another thing to do is to give a compliment followed by a question. For example, " I like your dress, do you get lots of compliments on it? This is a good way to draw her out if she isnt very talkitive.
No more than 2 compliments for the evening though. Complimenting is an art of studying her to find her unexpected hidden virtures and this takes more time than just one date. So intially only light compliments that dont involve the body. Complimenting is delicate. Too many compliments and you appear desperate. You let the little you give go along way here. So keep it light. While talking to her for some time if you notice that she is articulate, tell her so. She may have heard a hundred compliments on the hair or eyes but I doubt she has heard one in which the person must study her personality more deeply. Well chosen compliments should be spoken as if you are throwing a frisbee, no hessitation. COMPLIMENTING IS ALWAYS GIVEN WITH THE IDEA THAT NOTHING IS EXPECTED IN RETURN. YOU ARE THE TYPE OF GUY WHO CAN COMPLIMENT AND WALK AWAY. Wondering what you said is powerful when you not available at the time.
Listening. A powerful tool. Not just listening, but reflective listening is key to inducing emotional dependence. If you can listen to her talk and you can put aside your own internal business for a time and just contain those thoughts and verbalize what she has just told you in a summation of your own words, those thoughts and feelings, she will feel like you are reading her mind. Its as if there is a glass jar in your mind and all of what she has said goes into the jar. It is now contained. Now, overall find the phrases which best describe the ideas, thoughts and feelings in the jar in your own words and tell her.
The overall conversation is always light and fun. No negative talk period about past relations, catastrophies, terror, news etc. You never probe to find if she likes you. As long as you practice, Challenge, Control and Confidence youll be ok. Never let her draw you into a conversation about past girlfriends. The only thing you have to say here is, "They were all good women". Always steer back to that notion and change the subject. She is testing your trust. Will you talk about her in the future to another girl? You see where I am going.
A word about jealousy and possessiveness. This is a huge turnoff for women. When your out on a date and some guy is standing too close to the girl your with on purpose dont ever show these traits as much as you would love to put a chair over the guys head. When a guy is looking at the girl you are with take it as a compliment to your good tastes. Never let her see you get possessive or jealous, you might even be tested by her on these notions in some social circumstances. "Shes free to walk" is what you must tell yourself, this will manifest itself into confidence and challenge which is what she wants. Its all about posture and composure.
When your on the date you practice the art of control. What is control? Its not controlling her. Its controlling yourself. You do not talk about sex on the date, you do not touch her, you do not kiss her. Why? you just planted another seed my friend. She will be wondering to herself, "Why hasn't this guy put his hands all over me like the other guys". SHE WILL BE WONDERING, that is what you want out of this date. She will see you as a gentle-MAN. Ironically she will want to touch you more because of it. If sHe touches you, touch her, but less than she has to you and pull back.
(Remember miss kitty), you manhandle kitty with too much petting and kitty scratches you and runs away. You touch kitty a little and pull back and kitty wants more. HMMMM. Women love to wonder and be teased as seen through their eyes not yours.
When you take her back home, open her door like a gentle-MAN, walk her to the door and say, "Thanks for the nice evening", WITH BODY LANGUAGE YOU EXUDE THE NOTION THAT YOU ARE LEAVING, (quickly take a glance at your watch). Keep it short and YOU be the first to leave and officially end the date. DONT STAND THERE AND WAIT TO BE INVITED IN, WAIT FOR A HUG, WAIT FOR A KISS, DONT WAIT AROUND. YOU, IN YOUR MIND HAVE THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW. EVEN IF SHE INVITES YOU IN, POLITEFULLY DECLINE AND DEPART.YOU DIMINISH YOURSELF BY THE SECOND HANGING OUT AT THE FRONT DOOR. AND ONCE AGAIN DONT SAY "I'll call you". EVEN IF SHE SAYS CALL ME. DONT CONFIRM THAT YOU WILL. say, "see ya". DONT MAKE ANOTHER DATE AT ANYTIME WHILE YOU ARE ON THE FIRST DATE. Let her think about you while your absent. Let her wonder why you did not ask for a second date, (challenge/control/confidence). Wait another 5-9 days to call, the longer the better.
Wait until you have dated for several months before showing her affection. It is alot like compliments. A little goes a long way and your absense makes her wonder. Too much and you need to pull way back not do more of.
Some men feel that the woman will get the impression that maybe you dont like her. Good! I say that when she is not sure of herself , (she has always been sure of herself in the past), she will go crazy and will like you more. Think about it. Here is someone that understands men and now she is confused. Isnt this great!
(
The main problem with men is not that they dominate, but that they are dominated. All the talk shows, all the articles in the women's magazine, and all the self-help books try, ironically, to empower women when they already have the upper hand when it comes to dating. When it comes to the war between the sexes women have m-16s and men have bb guns.
Women also have a second language called womanese which is meant to confuse men when it comes to relationships. See if this sounds familiar.
"We are not the same type". That is womanese for, "You are not rich".
"But I love him". That is womanese for, "He can run me over with a car and I would say "It was an accident".
"Its late". That is womanese for, "We arent going to bed together".
"lets just see where it goes", That is womanese for "It aint going nowhere".
"I like sensitive guys", That is womanese for "I like to dominate men".
"No rush", That is womanese for "It will never happen"
"Looks arent important". Thats womanese for "Looks are important".
"Money isnt important" Thats womanese for "Money is important and thats why I brought it up".
"Where is this going" That is womanese for "when are we going to get married".
"Im tired of games". That is womanese for "The next male body who comes along will get lucky"
"Your nice". That is womanese for "Your not an emotional challenge".
"l'll think about it". That is womanese for "Not if we were stranded on a desert island".
"Our values have changed". That is womanese for "I am dumping you because I cannot change you, you moron.
"I dont go out with guys that make less than I do". That is womanese for, " Now I know what a rich man goes through".
"we grew apart", That is womanese for "He forgot about romance and affection".
"sleeping together", That is womanese for "not sleeeping together".
"I have nothing to wear" That is womanese for "I have 3 closets full of clothes"
"I cannot figure you out" That is womanese for "You, being a challenge are raising my interest level".
He played games", That is womanese for, "I am structured and have no sense of humor"
"We broke up", That is womanese for, "I dumped him".
Ok. you get the idea. Now lets look at what a woman is looking for in a man.
Women are looking for three male strength qualities in a guy. It is important that these qualities be shown by doing certain things even before asking her out.
These qualities are:
A. CONFIDENCE, (Comprised of SELF-CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM).
B. CONTROL (as in SELF CONTROL, PATIENCE and DISIPLINE).
C. CHALLENGE.
Provided you have passed the physical appearance test,
If something is going wrong it is because of one or more of these three things.
So how does a guy show these strength qualities?
Confidence is shown by asking her for the phone number directly. When you get it you NEVER, EVER say "Ill call you". This is a subtle yet powerful thing to keep her WONDERING if you will or not, the idea is to increase DOUBT whenever possible of where she stands with you. Just say, "Thanks". Too much hope kills doubt. Doubt is a good thing in small quantities. Foster a little doubt whenever possible. BE THE FIRST TO END THE CONVERSATION AND BE THE FIRST TO DEPART after getting the number.
Challenge is shown by not being readily available. YOU ARE NEVER AVAILABLE TO GO OUT ON FRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHT FOR SEVERAL WEEKS INTO DATING. She doesnt have to know you are at home cleaning out your sock drawer on Saturday night. Rest assured that you planted a seed in her head and she will be WONDERING. "Why hasnt he called like the rest of the guys", "when is he going to call", "who is he out with on the weekend". Women love to wonder in this way. You kill it when you offer reasurances. Never fall into this trap.
Most guys call back within two days predictably. WHEN YOU DO CALL HER FOR THE FIRST TIME WAIT 5-9 DAYS BEFORE CALLING. She will probably act a little miffed, but this is good, I dont remember saying you would call did you? She cant verbalize it but senses something is different this time. GOOD! Its about time the shoe is on the other foot this time. She cant reject you anymore than she can stand up and sit down at the same time.
NEVER ASK A WOMAN: "Would you like to go out"?, "Are you busy this weekend"?,"Do you have a boyfriend"(they all have boyfriends), "Do you think we could get together this weekend if you aren't busy"?
TRANSLATION: WEAK AND MEAK. A man who is Confident is direct and and doesnt throw the ball back in her court. A Confident man has a definite plan consisting of the day, time and place. He also has a back up plan if for example that restaraunt doesnt work out. He usually checks things out a head of time. How long it takes to get for here to there, etc.
When you call her note the following: YOU DO NOT TALK ON AN ANSWERING MACHINE. PERIOD. An answering machine is a tool that women use against us, so is having someone else intercept the call for her. Dont fall for anything except talking directly to her on the phone . YOU NEVER ASK, "So what do you want to do". You show no confidence. You find out for example she likes Italian food. So, you say, "Jane I would like to take you out to an Italian restaurant at 7pm on Wednesday would you like to join me". (very direct question which requires a direct answer), There should be no other conversation that is going to drag on. You wing the question just like you are commenting on the color of the sky, it comes out that easily. Keep it short, be direct and have a plan so she doesnt even have to think. Remember she may counter and say, " I can only go out Friday or Saturday". Dont fall for that, your being tested. Remember you are only available MON-THURS for several weeks into dating, sorry! Its important to mean what you say here. Keep her wondering and build mystery this is something she never gets enough of. Give her assurances like she is wanting from you and you will blow it. Give her what she needs not what she says she needs. Confusion is her game. Challenge is ours.
Dressing good, being well groomed, being polite yet having the ability to tell her "no" as early as possible are also very important. Beautiful women need to hear the word "no" from a man more than anything. Women in general need to hear you say "no" once in a while when you really mean it and that you will walk if pushed hard enough.Its called backbone. She needs to know that when she pushes that it you wont turn into mush. You do not put up with put-downs against you or your gender, "Men" Its called not being accomodating, which also means having an opinion of your own. Call her on the carpet when you are tested with respect. "whoa" or "hey" are a couple of words to put the brakes on to let her know that you are someone to be respected and that respect is a two way street. Unfortunatly even the nicest people push the boundries of respect so be prepared for this ahead of time.
Do not give flowers, gifts, chocolate etc. while dating. It has only negative association when you give "things" because you are making her feel obligated from the start which is uncomfortable for her. You will also kill the notion of challenge at the same time. So no giving of "things" early on.
Keep in mind that you think that restaurants are for eating, which they are, but be forewarned it is also her favorite place to ask you test questions. She will see if she can ask you questions and then see if you continue to talk about yourself and your accomplishments. So when she throws a zinger at you, "So when was your last relationship", She is looking for reactions here so watch out and be ready for the test questions.
When she asks you a general question, take that as a clue to shift back and ask her questions about herself. Throw off her agenda and balance with your questions. Word your questions so they cant be just yes or no type answers in return. Try to draw out feelings or opinions on things.
Another thing to do is to give a compliment followed by a question. For example, " I like your dress, do you get lots of compliments on it? This is a good way to draw her out if she isnt very talkitive.
No more than 2 compliments for the evening though. Complimenting is an art of studying her to find her unexpected hidden virtures and this takes more time than just one date. So intially only light compliments that dont involve the body. Complimenting is delicate. Too many compliments and you appear desperate. You let the little you give go along way here. So keep it light. While talking to her for some time if you notice that she is articulate, tell her so. She may have heard a hundred compliments on the hair or eyes but I doubt she has heard one in which the person must study her personality more deeply. Well chosen compliments should be spoken as if you are throwing a frisbee, no hessitation. COMPLIMENTING IS ALWAYS GIVEN WITH THE IDEA THAT NOTHING IS EXPECTED IN RETURN. YOU ARE THE TYPE OF GUY WHO CAN COMPLIMENT AND WALK AWAY. Wondering what you said is powerful when you not available at the time.
Listening. A powerful tool. Not just listening, but reflective listening is key to inducing emotional dependence. If you can listen to her talk and you can put aside your own internal business for a time and just contain those thoughts and verbalize what she has just told you in a summation of your own words, those thoughts and feelings, she will feel like you are reading her mind. Its as if there is a glass jar in your mind and all of what she has said goes into the jar. It is now contained. Now, overall find the phrases which best describe the ideas, thoughts and feelings in the jar in your own words and tell her.
The overall conversation is always light and fun. No negative talk period about past relations, catastrophies, terror, news etc. You never probe to find if she likes you. As long as you practice, Challenge, Control and Confidence youll be ok. Never let her draw you into a conversation about past girlfriends. The only thing you have to say here is, "They were all good women". Always steer back to that notion and change the subject. She is testing your trust. Will you talk about her in the future to another girl? You see where I am going.
A word about jealousy and possessiveness. This is a huge turnoff for women. When your out on a date and some guy is standing too close to the girl your with on purpose dont ever show these traits as much as you would love to put a chair over the guys head. When a guy is looking at the girl you are with take it as a compliment to your good tastes. Never let her see you get possessive or jealous, you might even be tested by her on these notions in some social circumstances. "Shes free to walk" is what you must tell yourself, this will manifest itself into confidence and challenge which is what she wants. Its all about posture and composure.
When your on the date you practice the art of control. What is control? Its not controlling her. Its controlling yourself. You do not talk about sex on the date, you do not touch her, you do not kiss her. Why? you just planted another seed my friend. She will be wondering to herself, "Why hasn't this guy put his hands all over me like the other guys". SHE WILL BE WONDERING, that is what you want out of this date. She will see you as a gentle-MAN. Ironically she will want to touch you more because of it. If sHe touches you, touch her, but less than she has to you and pull back.
(Remember miss kitty), you manhandle kitty with too much petting and kitty scratches you and runs away. You touch kitty a little and pull back and kitty wants more. HMMMM. Women love to wonder and be teased as seen through their eyes not yours.
When you take her back home, open her door like a gentle-MAN, walk her to the door and say, "Thanks for the nice evening", WITH BODY LANGUAGE YOU EXUDE THE NOTION THAT YOU ARE LEAVING, (quickly take a glance at your watch). Keep it short and YOU be the first to leave and officially end the date. DONT STAND THERE AND WAIT TO BE INVITED IN, WAIT FOR A HUG, WAIT FOR A KISS, DONT WAIT AROUND. YOU, IN YOUR MIND HAVE THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW. EVEN IF SHE INVITES YOU IN, POLITEFULLY DECLINE AND DEPART.YOU DIMINISH YOURSELF BY THE SECOND HANGING OUT AT THE FRONT DOOR. AND ONCE AGAIN DONT SAY "I'll call you". EVEN IF SHE SAYS CALL ME. DONT CONFIRM THAT YOU WILL. say, "see ya". DONT MAKE ANOTHER DATE AT ANYTIME WHILE YOU ARE ON THE FIRST DATE. Let her think about you while your absent. Let her wonder why you did not ask for a second date, (challenge/control/confidence). Wait another 5-9 days to call, the longer the better.
Wait until you have dated for several months before showing her affection. It is alot like compliments. A little goes a long way and your absense makes her wonder. Too much and you need to pull way back not do more of.
Some men feel that the woman will get the impression that maybe you dont like her. Good! I say that when she is not sure of herself , (she has always been sure of herself in the past), she will go crazy and will like you more. Think about it. Here is someone that understands men and now she is confused. Isnt this great!
(