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Lola
07-11-2004, 01:51 PM
:rolleyes: <EDIT> some men not all ...my bad:p

THE GUYS' RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE..

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

dog420
07-11-2004, 02:00 PM
lmao thats us men all ova :D

Tilde
07-11-2004, 02:46 PM
This is a first...Lola making a post that DOESN'T bash men? I think I bruised my jaw from it hitting the floor

DrGonzo
07-11-2004, 05:53 PM
ahhh ha ha ha...just like camping...my god in heaven, that was entertaining. Very, very true though. I should show this to my wife...then I can go camping! Yay!

clevemire
07-11-2004, 11:35 PM
Amen to that list.

Kronik Bagz
07-11-2004, 11:43 PM
thats an ALMOST exact list. an Dr. Gonzo, i think i saw that pic in high times. i love it. "no animals were harmed in the taking of this photograph"

Tilde
07-11-2004, 11:51 PM
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!! I saw them last month! You rule clevemire!


Is that a picture of someone ejaculating on the president, Dog420? I like

clevemire
07-12-2004, 12:10 AM
Lucky you, Tilde. Haven't had a chance to see them live yet. Supposedly, they're gonna start a headlining tour in the next month or 2. Here's hoping.
:o

Tilde
07-12-2004, 12:16 AM
Awww man! You're missing out! They're nuts! I saw them in Montreal with In Flames as the headliners...it was so packed, that it was literally impossible to fall down :D

clevemire
07-12-2004, 01:38 PM
Nice. I hope I get to see them soon. I missed out when they last came around, due to lack of funds. :cool:

az666
07-12-2004, 01:56 PM
hahahahaha thats some funny shit!! lol and soooo true..if it itches it will be scratched