NowhereMan
07-06-2004, 04:05 PM
i think i will not be on too much for a while
im having a time coping and i do not want to abuse my mod powers in anger or frustaration
you know me im fiar,and give anyone the chance
but right now my life is really had a bad blow to it
death has reached out and took a cousin,his wife(my x wifes life long child hood grown up with friend who got me and her togetherem),and their lil new baby named patience
they burned up last night,and its fuking with my head
i did not like my cuzzing(guilt i guess) he stabbed me in the mouth in 10th grade in school),but we were ok after a few years,its such a shock i had to write it here so i will know what im thinking later when i read it agian
to those of you who dont know,,,,im disabled cant work,,live in pian but i aint whiney type i go on,and im happy to be alive,the say in BI POLAR and i can get depressed reall bad for long time,,or be happy for no reason just the same,
but things set that off,i usually regulate my moods with weed,maybe a vallium or xanax to sleep a night thru,but i do not smoke JUST TO GET HIGH
yes i like it,,,,getting high, but its medical use first.
my cuzzing didnt drink anymore,,,,,nor smoke,he had a good job,his wife(who i knew all thru school rode the bus home with her ect,best friends then.she worked as a bank teller,they owned land cars ,boats,ect,,,,they made it ya know what i mean,,,,came from NOTHING and made it,
and now i got to go dig 3 graves of people i cared for,
i dont think ill be very social,,,,please dont take it badly or personal
i just hope yaw understand i dont wanna hurt any feeling saying shit that dont need siad but will be cuase i will be mad for days
to all my great friends on here ,I need a break hope you understand.
i think the best of ya i will
miss you over the next few weeks or how-ever long it takes to get my head together.i wont name names but you know who you are and even those i care little for,i wish you well.i will say,,,,,to my BEST friends,you been da good to me and im not running out on you,just need to rethink my life
i will pop in and read,just wont post much if i do,depends on if im home,
becuase in fact i i like most people here very much we are all so different yet we all have common grounds,even eneimies do
i wont be here enough to atch the post,Hunny del,,,if ya back,,i got alot of shit to do this next two weeks.and this hobby i now have of cannabis.com
must set on the back burner a while till i truly cant think str8 agian.
honestly folks i may joke yaw with silly shit but stress and alot of shit has piled up and now fell on me,im so far down that money drungs wemon and cars cant make me smile.way beyond normal
and no I DO NOT write this FOR PITY,fuk your pity,i dont need it
i write to say that a normal good day can be ruined by trajic events in the blink of a eye,,,,,,and change your outlook for a while
this place has become a part of my like long before i was a moderator,I hope hunny and del can take up the slack,i will try and log on as i can to approve names,But i wont be chatting much or passing out links and infor to help to many folks,
so one last one
www.erowid.org
peace
im having a time coping and i do not want to abuse my mod powers in anger or frustaration
you know me im fiar,and give anyone the chance
but right now my life is really had a bad blow to it
death has reached out and took a cousin,his wife(my x wifes life long child hood grown up with friend who got me and her togetherem),and their lil new baby named patience
they burned up last night,and its fuking with my head
i did not like my cuzzing(guilt i guess) he stabbed me in the mouth in 10th grade in school),but we were ok after a few years,its such a shock i had to write it here so i will know what im thinking later when i read it agian
to those of you who dont know,,,,im disabled cant work,,live in pian but i aint whiney type i go on,and im happy to be alive,the say in BI POLAR and i can get depressed reall bad for long time,,or be happy for no reason just the same,
but things set that off,i usually regulate my moods with weed,maybe a vallium or xanax to sleep a night thru,but i do not smoke JUST TO GET HIGH
yes i like it,,,,getting high, but its medical use first.
my cuzzing didnt drink anymore,,,,,nor smoke,he had a good job,his wife(who i knew all thru school rode the bus home with her ect,best friends then.she worked as a bank teller,they owned land cars ,boats,ect,,,,they made it ya know what i mean,,,,came from NOTHING and made it,
and now i got to go dig 3 graves of people i cared for,
i dont think ill be very social,,,,please dont take it badly or personal
i just hope yaw understand i dont wanna hurt any feeling saying shit that dont need siad but will be cuase i will be mad for days
to all my great friends on here ,I need a break hope you understand.
i think the best of ya i will
miss you over the next few weeks or how-ever long it takes to get my head together.i wont name names but you know who you are and even those i care little for,i wish you well.i will say,,,,,to my BEST friends,you been da good to me and im not running out on you,just need to rethink my life
i will pop in and read,just wont post much if i do,depends on if im home,
becuase in fact i i like most people here very much we are all so different yet we all have common grounds,even eneimies do
i wont be here enough to atch the post,Hunny del,,,if ya back,,i got alot of shit to do this next two weeks.and this hobby i now have of cannabis.com
must set on the back burner a while till i truly cant think str8 agian.
honestly folks i may joke yaw with silly shit but stress and alot of shit has piled up and now fell on me,im so far down that money drungs wemon and cars cant make me smile.way beyond normal
and no I DO NOT write this FOR PITY,fuk your pity,i dont need it
i write to say that a normal good day can be ruined by trajic events in the blink of a eye,,,,,,and change your outlook for a while
this place has become a part of my like long before i was a moderator,I hope hunny and del can take up the slack,i will try and log on as i can to approve names,But i wont be chatting much or passing out links and infor to help to many folks,
so one last one
www.erowid.org
peace