Blonde Jokes

[Shane O Mac]

I just read msot of these n thought id put them on here to make u laugh :D

She was a blonde

-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
-she thought a quarterback was a refund
-she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
-she thought meow mix was a record for cats
-under "education" on her job application,she put "Hooked On Phonics"
-she tried to drown a fish
-she tripped over a cordless phone
-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate'
-she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
-she got stabbed in a shoot out
-she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
-If you gave her a penny for intelligence you'd get a refund
-they had to burn down the school to get her out of 3rd grade
-she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
-at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius"
-if she spoke her mind,she'd be speechless
-she studied for a blood test and failed
-when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved
-when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "AIRPORT LEFT" she turned around and went home
-did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night

sorry to any blondes offended

[Reefer Rogue]

You wanna hear 3 blonde jokes?
Listen to hanson. ;)

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

I just read msot of these n thought id put them on here to make u laugh :D

She was a blonde

-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
-she thought a quarterback was a refund
-she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
-she thought meow mix was a record for cats
-under "education" on her job application,she put "Hooked On Phonics"
-she tried to drown a fish
-she tripped over a cordless phone
-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate'
-she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
-she got stabbed in a shoot out
-she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
-If you gave her a penny for intelligence you'd get a refund
-they had to burn down the school to get her out of 3rd grade
-she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
-at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius"
-if she spoke her mind,she'd be speechless
-she studied for a blood test and failed
-when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved
-when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "AIRPORT LEFT" she turned around and went home
-did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night

sorry to any blondes offended



You wanna hear 3 blonde jokes?
Listen to hanson. ;)

Haha, loved them both:D

Keep 'em comin'! I don't have any.. sorry :confused:


...Josh:p

[Shane O Mac]

lol that hanson joke is funny

[the last stand]

lol, nice av shane....

[somebody someone]

hmm i dont kno why i gotta say i dont find em funny... its just pointing out words that could have double meanings, or blatently ridiculous things

[robert42]

i got him that av ;) he lives near me

one of the london lads!

[Shane O Mac]

Cheers m8!

[the last stand]

whay! big up boys! ex south east london here! now chillin in norfolk, lol

[Caruso329]

How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in a corner.

A blonde went to the doctor with two red ears. The doctor asked her what happened and she said the phone rang while she was ironing and she picked up the iron and burnt her ear. "Well what happened to the other ear?" the doctor asked. The blonde replied "The fucking sonuvabitch called me back!"

Why don't you let a blonde drive a manual?
The shifter will be wet when she gets back.

(This one is kind of against women in general)
Three blondes were stuck on an island when they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it and a magic genie popped out and said he'd grant them each one wish. The first blonde said "Well I'm tired of people always picking on me for my blonde hair, so make me into a brunette." The genie went POOF and the blonde suddenly turned into a brunette. She swam off the island to the nearby shore. The next blonde said "Well I'm tired of being picked on too, but turn me into a redhead because I want to be really sexy and smart too." So the genie went POOF and the blonde suddenly turned into a gorgeous redhead. She built a raft and sailed off the island to the nearby shore. Well the last blonde said "I'm tired of being picked on too, but instead of turning me into a brunette or redhead turn me into a man." So the genie went POOF and disappeared and the blonde was turned into a man, and she just walked across the bridge.

Oooooh I got a million of'em! ":cool:

[Shane O Mac]

lol quality m8 :D anyone av ne more?

[Caruso329]

What did the blonde's left leg say to her right?
Nothing! They've never met!

[Shane O Mac]

lmao thts brilliant

[buddymyfriend]

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q. What did the blondeâ??s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.

Tee-hee :eek:

[STDzRus]

If Santa, The Easter Bunny, Batman , And a Smart Blonde Jumped off a bridge who would hit the ground first?

Nobody. None of them Exist.



How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

If a blonde and a brunette jumped out of an aeroplane at the same time who would hit the ground first?
The brunette. The Blonde would stop and ask for directions.



Just a joke in general.

A guy is building a brick house. When he's done he has 1 extra brick so he throws it up in the air.

ANOTHER JOKE.

A fat lady is about to jump out of a plane when she sees a brick

HAHA THAT still makes me laugh.

[Shane O Mac]

I love em all! You could go on for days sayin all blonde jokes

[Caruso329]

Wow i feel stupid because that one about the brick took me a second to figure out... Yea. But I finally got it! :D
":cool:

[Whos Carl]

I still dont get the brick and the fat lady or its not funny.

[STDzRus]

I still dont get the brick and the fat lady or its not funny.
It's a blonde joke.

A.K.A. Jokes that blondes tell.

[tokinsmoke]

Q:whats the difference between a blonde and the atlantic coast?
A:a blonde has more crabs....

a blondes house caught on fire and she called the fire department...
she said help my house is on fire...
they ask her how do we get to your house...
she said duh in the big red truck....

Q: whats the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: some day we might find bigfoot