Quest Diag. - Please help this heavy toker!

[strangelizuv]

OK, first post to these boards, and what a great resource they are; thanks to all community members for that.

So I have a pre-employment screening coming up in less than 5 days to be performed by Quest Diagnostics in the Los Angeles area. Specifically, I am to submit to the 0443N Alcohol, Ethyl (B) and 35105N SAP 5-50 W/NIT tests. I've not smoked for a couple days thus far, and don't plan on it until I get the all clear from the employer.

As I am a heavy toker (i.e., multiple sessions daily, maybe 2-3 depending) and have been for the last 2-3 years, I'm thinking of using the substitution method as I have a couple potential good candidates (who I will pre-test with AtHome test anyway), or I may go the synthetic route.

Questions:

1) Does Quest monitor their testees? If so, to what degree? (Can I close a stall door while the monitor is outside but still in the bathroom, or do they wait outside the bathroom and listen at the door, or do they bug the testee at all while the sample is being provided?)

2) For substitution method, can anyone recommend a particular product found online or in head shops that has worked for them in the past? Locally, I've found the Magnum synthetic substitution kit (with container, heater, thermometer, etc.; picture of Dirty Harry on the box), as well as one made by Puck Technologies (not the Whizzinator itself, but a kit with what i presume would be the same synthetic, heater, etc.). Can anyone recommend either of these two?

3) Are all synthetics really created equal? If I have a clean, REAL substitute available, should I use that rather than the synthetic?

4) If Quest does monitor their testees (even putting a monitor in the bathroom while I'm in the stall is a bit much for me to risk it), can anyone recommend the BEST detox/diluter product that has worked for them in the past? I really hope it doesn't come to this, but if it does I've gotta be prepared.

5) Anyone know what the hell the 0443N Alcohol, Ethyl (B) test is? I'm assuming it's a blood test for heavy alcoholism or rubbing alcohol usage; in either case it's no problem, but I would like to know.

Sorry for all the questions, but I'm quite anxious about this upcoming test and I really could use a toke -- but CAN'T! Please help if you've got the 411, or any additional suggestions. Thanks!

-the strange one

[Cunningstunts]

Hmmm..Im kinda in the same boat you are and Im gonna go the additive route. I got the Urineluck additive that is just 2 little vials to add to the sample. The reason Im doing it this way is I worry about temperature with synthetic or someone elses speciman. They test for that right away and you better have it within range if you go that route.
Also, they are not permitted as far as I know to actually enter the bathroom with you.
Good luck..

[strangelizuv]

Thanks for the reply, cunning! I'm glad to hear they shouldn't be listening in on my "session"; it makes the synthetic solution all the more possible.

As far as temp, the synthetic substitution kits usually come with a warmer, but you better bet I'll be running a few "tuck near the taint" tests prior to the test itself.

Thanks for the input!

[benagain]

I had a test done at quest not too long ago. They don't watch you pee, but they stand outside the door as you do it. They first make you empty your pockets, so if you're going with substitution or an additive, then hide it somewhere other than your pockets. Also, they do test the temp, but if you're using the pocket warmer that came with it, take it off right before you go in to take the test. When I took my test, the sample was over a hundred degrees, so they had to call the employer. It was by sheer luck that they said to send it in. Although it wouldn't realy matter because I ended up taking a better job anyway that doesn't test.

[hryusha]

Thanks for the reply, cunning! I'm glad to hear they shouldn't be listening in on my "session"; it makes the synthetic solution all the more possible.

As far as temp, the synthetic substitution kits usually come with a warmer, but you better bet I'll be running a few "tuck near the taint" tests prior to the test itself.

Thanks for the input!

Hey guys, I just had my test done in Quest today (10/17) this is in Brooklyn NY, I used Q Carbo and lots of dilution along with a B complex, which made my urine nice and yellow. I was there today about 12 pm, i was told to go wash my hands and go to the bathroom she was not watching me, she stayed in a diff room, while i took care of my business. She told me not to flush the toilet and not to wash my handsm basically when down come out with the sample. So as far as substitution goes, i think u have about 3 minutes or so in the locked bathroom (the one i went to had a lock). So good luck. Which Quest you going to by the way? Cause I had the same thing written on my paper for an accounting associate position :) As for detox look up Strip on google, its expensive but everyone said its good, I didnt know better before I bought Q carbo, so check it, nasty drink but it works and doesnt mask as i read on this forum.

[strangelizuv]

He shoots! He SCORES!!!

And he owes it all to Puck Technology's "Number 1."

I went with the substitution method and, not wanting to mess with uncertain temperatures or storing/subbing my clean friends' urine, decided on Number 1, which is a storage/temp regulating/expulsion device made by the folks who make the highly controversial whizzinator (the whizzinator, at $150, was just too damn rich for my blood, especially since I was pretty sure I was not going to be observed).

Anyway, after a few tests with the temperature regulation, I felt confident enough to go in and give it a shot at the lab. I didn't expect it, but they made me keep the bathroom door OPEN!!! Fortunately, no one was monitoring except for standing in earshot. I was extra careful with the little clips that keep the synthetic from pumping out uncontrollably as they make a wee *click* when unlatched for expulsion.

So I was scared shitless the entire time at the lab, and I drained ALL of the fake pee provided into the sample cup (there would have been more, but I had a small accident when running my at-home tests ^____^).

A short time later, I'm hired!!!

I know this sounds like a freakin' ad for the Number 1, but I really can't recommend it highly enough. At $50, it's the best bet for piece of mind -- unless someone is going to watch you give the sample.

Thanks for the tips and encouragement, all! I couldn't have done it w/o you!

[Cunningstunts]

A big congrats to ya fella !!! WTG!!! (being scared shitless is all part of the fun!)
Im going next week with an additive I hope it turns out as well...