hindsite....(random bitching)

[ScarlettCrush]

That is the last time I post my occupation/website on public forum.
I've always hated how people treat me and talk to me afterwards, though everyone on forum had been so cool to me that it wouldn't matter to the few who didn't know.
Here are the biggest annoyances
1. they assume I am going to do it to them, and am eager to do so.
When I meet a website designer I don't think they are going to make me a website while I'm not looking and ambush me with their html.
Assuming that I would hijack an unwilling and unpaying person to my dungeon and do all kinds of unpleasant freaky shit for free, is seriously insulting. I'm a dominatrix, not a fucking criminal, and why would I want to do it for free with someone who doesn't like it when I get paid $200 an hour to session with those who do?

2. They assume my beau is my bitch. (Usually putting him in whatever situation they have imagine, wanted, seen in a porn or some really extreme pulp fiction shit)
If I see a website, I don't assume dude has made one "exactly" like that for his wife, or that he has made one just like I have always wanted, or seen on television for his wife. If she even has one it is very very good and exactly how she wants it. Same with my man.

4. Lame remarks and stupid jokes involving me or alluding to my occupation. Clever insinuations are good, obvious japes are not.

5. I am the same person I was yesterday. I am not a cold bitch, I am not mean, I dont wear leather all the time and there are not hoardes of men at my feet. I am not a steriotype.

6. It is really degrading when anyone assumes I have sex with my clients. If I said I was an escort, I can see where folk might think I did a little extra, but I didn't say escort, provider, hooker, lady of the evening, ho, or even Mistress because those all allude to something a lot more directly sexual. I offer more exotic fare, and no sex.

3. I own and run this business myself and have for years. I make a profit off my skills and equipment. I have invested lots of time and money to develop those skills and buy the equipment, plus my work clothes are hella expensive and mostly uncomfortable. I do my own advertising, website design, pictures, bookkeeping, and public relations. I have been in magazines, published articles and given classes regarding my occupation. I have had people fly across the country to consult with me, I have seen many people from other countries. I am internationally known and semi-famous, my reputation is sterling and I am extremely talented.
I never get asked about that, I never get props for that, no one ever has recognized what hard work I have done, and how hard it is.

I could do other things, but this is what I do well.

[Ousted]

Dont give a fuck what people think. If you like what you're doing, and you're good at it and feel fullfilled, you dont even have to give opportunity to opinions of you and your work, good or bad. You are in charge of you and your opinion of you. And you are in charge of who you hang with, and if someone is being a dick and making inappropriate jokes, ditch 'em. Plenty of friends out there to be made, you do not have to tolerate disrespectful people.
With a business such as yours Im sure you were more than well aware of the controversey and criticism and that you would be subjected to, and thats probably not going to change for many years, so when you're feeling blue remind yourself that you knew what you were getting into and you knew you had the thick skin to be able to handle any criticism that came your way, and take comfort that you are doing what you want without apologies for it.
Good luck, I hope you feel better about everything. *hugs*

[maryjanemama]

I understand that you are offended, Scarlett, but please don't let it bother you. The general public is full of idiots, that's sad but true. I wish I could be more positive but it becomes more evident every day, look who our president is, the vast majority have their heads up their asses. You have the right to be a domme, you are hurting no one else. The only one you are hurting is yourself by feeling bad because someone else is a numbskull.

Also, most people do not have any grasp of what fetish is, what a domme really does, or what a sub is. I think questions are fine as long as they are genuine and not just for a chuckle. Ignore everyone else.

[maryjanemama]

Oh, wait, I want to say something else. A lot of people think that anyone involved in the fetish industry is some kind of a slut, so I go with it. If people are willing to believe such stupidity I throw it in their faces. I am married with 3 kids for almost 10 years, yeah, I am a wild wanton maniac. The smart people know I am only joking when I talk about being naked or post a pic or whatever and poke fun at it. The ones who don't get it are none of my concern and I have been doing this for just over a year.

Belonging to a forum and site with other people who do the same things as me (not this one, obviously, I mean the smutty one-that's humor for anyone who's still in the dark) has helped me develop tougher skin and let's me feel at home. Is there anywhere online where you can just chill with other dommes and discuss things? I'm sure that would really help you feel less stress.

[DonnieDarko]

People who put others down on an anonymous forum are cowards. I believe that their name-calling in this case is rooted in the fact that you are a confident and intelligent women. In any group of people, there are always 5 percent (or more) of the of these ass-clowns. Fuck'em.

[kuulbns]

Scarlett Darling, you have my respect and more,.. I genuinly like you. You're life is your business, you've always been nice to me, that's all that matters. I do understand to a small degree the beating you take on the forums. I happen to be a Christian, I've been called all kinds of things because I believe. While I do not Judge others I've been called all kinds of derogitory names and have had many try to target me for my beliefs. The majority of people here do have sense, it's the ignorant few that are rude. Smile Baby, You're life is better than theirs! Love you, Kuu