doctor G
09-11-2005, 03:44 AM
The Tenth Generation Joint
My brother and I had been smoking together about three years when he
asked what would happen if we saved all our roaches and smoked a roach joint.
We saved our roaches and after a week or so we rolled up a joint of all the
roaches. It was pretty stony as as we relaxed in the glow of a good stone he
asked
??What happens next??
So we got out a couple of 35mm film cannisters and labled them. Roaches
were second generation, roaches of that were third generation and so on. At the
first we just set up five generations.
Of course that led to numberous decisions. What was an official size for a
roach? Was it a roach if it went out on it??s own? Was a quarter of it??s length a
roach? What did you do with the remains of the cherry and ash end? If we were
rolling super sized joints how much was a roach ? What if we didn??t have a
cannister, how did we save the roaches? And then the big question; how far
could we go with this?
Eventually we came to some guidelines. A quarter of the length or less
was an official roach, roach generations could be mixed in storage if they could
be identified (wrapped in a plain paper for example). All ash and carbonized
material could be discarded, and multigenerational joints should be smoked in
special ceromonies. And we would go for a joint of tenth generation weed.
With the guidelines in place we went back to work generating the raw
material we would need to complete the project. Eventually we calculated it
required seven joints of weed to make one second generation joint. After that it
was about 4 roaches to a joint. After four years we looked into our containers and
found we had made it to sixth generation. Four years. Smoking like fiends, fifteen
joints a day and all we made it to was sixth. We did the math. It was going to take
over FOUR MILLION joints to get one joint of tenth generation weed. We were
screwed, how the hell were we going so keep track of over four million joints?
At that point we put out the word to our friends, Help us meet our goal,
Please donate to the cause. And God Bless them Every One, they stepped up to
the challange. One by one our friends donated roaches for the cause. In ones
and twos at first and then in dozens people donated roaches for the collection.
The second and third jars got to be quart mason jars and even the sixth and
seventh made it to baby food sized. And the collection grew.
I married and had children while my brother went to college in California.
Our friends spread out across the country but they kept the faith and roaches
kept showing up in the mail. Some times our friends donated third and fourth
generation roaches. Usually with badly scribbled notes.
??Here you go, you crazy Bastards, I almost hacked up a lung on this
sucker?
??Here is a Joint of fourth for the collection. I can??t do this any more.?
??Enclosed please find the results of three years smoking, Please let me
know how the project turns out?
??No more for me man, I??ve got to drive....?
Every donation was marked and the donor was sent a letter with details of
the progress. As we got past sixth we found that joints simply would not smoke
unless we dried the weed for at least twenty four hours before we tried to roll it.
And rolling was a real challange. You had to roll looser and looser or the joint
would not draw. And the tar was terrible. After sixth generation the joints would
spit the most bitter and nasty tar after the first third. Before you could toke you
would squeeze the end and get as much tar as you could off the end. Eighth and
ninth joints had to be dried out for days before any attempt to roll them.
It took most of ten years but eventually we met in Canyonlands National
Park in Utah in a place called Dead Horse Canyon. The original three
participants, and assorted children and friends. We gathered for a Thanksgiving
celebration in one of the most amazing places I have have ever experienced.
After a huge Thanksgiving dinner we sent the children off to climb the
rocks or bicycle through the landscape. Then we sat down around the campfire
and prepared to smoke the ??Holy Grail?. I had dried the ninth generation roaches
most throughly before I left Colorado. Even with the drying the material was very
gummy and hard to roll. Eventually I produced a joint and we tried with all our
lungs to get it lit. No chance. My brother broke it down and tried again. The Quinn
stood by and took pictures while Jeff kept the beers comming. After three tries we
managed to produce a cylinder of tarry gummy weed that it was possible to draw
through.
The first few hits were like smoking Egyptian tobacco. Harsh, black and
thick. As we slogged on the back end of the joint looked like the exhaust of a big
diesel truck. Black and oily, it didn??t taste like weed, it was more like smoking
some road tar. A third of the way through the joint it went out. It was hard to hit
and it took several minutes after each hit to get your breath back. It was relit and
we continued to make the best effort we could to get the damn thing to burn.
At half way through we were all tired of the effort. The joint was going out
every time we passed it from person to person. We were relighting it for every hit
and the flavor was foul. When it made it way to my brother he looked at the
blackened tar dripping cylinder and shook his head. No one objected when he
pinched off the cherry and dropped in onto the rolling tray.
He grabbed a bag of fresh weed and put a couple of pinches on the tray.
After breaking up the tar soaked remains and mixing it with some fresh cleaned
weed he rolled a Lucky Strike sized joint that was maybe half tenth and half fresh
weed. Again no one objected. With a flourish he put a flame to it and inhaled.
After that it was passed from person to person with out going out. As the
cylinder reached the size we had determained was an ??Official Roach? Jeff broke
out a clip and we smoked that sucker until it disappeared. Not so much as a
scrap of paper left over for the collection. Done, Finis, No Mas.
The question was posed, what do we do with the rest of the collection? In
answer my brother emptied the containers on to the rolling tray and stirred them
all together. He tossed in a couple of big pinches of fresh weed and stirred the
whole mess together. The he got out the extra large rolling papers and rolled a
cigar sized joint . One match to fire it up and he passed it around. It seemed like a
fitting end.
My brother and I had been smoking together about three years when he
asked what would happen if we saved all our roaches and smoked a roach joint.
We saved our roaches and after a week or so we rolled up a joint of all the
roaches. It was pretty stony as as we relaxed in the glow of a good stone he
asked
??What happens next??
So we got out a couple of 35mm film cannisters and labled them. Roaches
were second generation, roaches of that were third generation and so on. At the
first we just set up five generations.
Of course that led to numberous decisions. What was an official size for a
roach? Was it a roach if it went out on it??s own? Was a quarter of it??s length a
roach? What did you do with the remains of the cherry and ash end? If we were
rolling super sized joints how much was a roach ? What if we didn??t have a
cannister, how did we save the roaches? And then the big question; how far
could we go with this?
Eventually we came to some guidelines. A quarter of the length or less
was an official roach, roach generations could be mixed in storage if they could
be identified (wrapped in a plain paper for example). All ash and carbonized
material could be discarded, and multigenerational joints should be smoked in
special ceromonies. And we would go for a joint of tenth generation weed.
With the guidelines in place we went back to work generating the raw
material we would need to complete the project. Eventually we calculated it
required seven joints of weed to make one second generation joint. After that it
was about 4 roaches to a joint. After four years we looked into our containers and
found we had made it to sixth generation. Four years. Smoking like fiends, fifteen
joints a day and all we made it to was sixth. We did the math. It was going to take
over FOUR MILLION joints to get one joint of tenth generation weed. We were
screwed, how the hell were we going so keep track of over four million joints?
At that point we put out the word to our friends, Help us meet our goal,
Please donate to the cause. And God Bless them Every One, they stepped up to
the challange. One by one our friends donated roaches for the cause. In ones
and twos at first and then in dozens people donated roaches for the collection.
The second and third jars got to be quart mason jars and even the sixth and
seventh made it to baby food sized. And the collection grew.
I married and had children while my brother went to college in California.
Our friends spread out across the country but they kept the faith and roaches
kept showing up in the mail. Some times our friends donated third and fourth
generation roaches. Usually with badly scribbled notes.
??Here you go, you crazy Bastards, I almost hacked up a lung on this
sucker?
??Here is a Joint of fourth for the collection. I can??t do this any more.?
??Enclosed please find the results of three years smoking, Please let me
know how the project turns out?
??No more for me man, I??ve got to drive....?
Every donation was marked and the donor was sent a letter with details of
the progress. As we got past sixth we found that joints simply would not smoke
unless we dried the weed for at least twenty four hours before we tried to roll it.
And rolling was a real challange. You had to roll looser and looser or the joint
would not draw. And the tar was terrible. After sixth generation the joints would
spit the most bitter and nasty tar after the first third. Before you could toke you
would squeeze the end and get as much tar as you could off the end. Eighth and
ninth joints had to be dried out for days before any attempt to roll them.
It took most of ten years but eventually we met in Canyonlands National
Park in Utah in a place called Dead Horse Canyon. The original three
participants, and assorted children and friends. We gathered for a Thanksgiving
celebration in one of the most amazing places I have have ever experienced.
After a huge Thanksgiving dinner we sent the children off to climb the
rocks or bicycle through the landscape. Then we sat down around the campfire
and prepared to smoke the ??Holy Grail?. I had dried the ninth generation roaches
most throughly before I left Colorado. Even with the drying the material was very
gummy and hard to roll. Eventually I produced a joint and we tried with all our
lungs to get it lit. No chance. My brother broke it down and tried again. The Quinn
stood by and took pictures while Jeff kept the beers comming. After three tries we
managed to produce a cylinder of tarry gummy weed that it was possible to draw
through.
The first few hits were like smoking Egyptian tobacco. Harsh, black and
thick. As we slogged on the back end of the joint looked like the exhaust of a big
diesel truck. Black and oily, it didn??t taste like weed, it was more like smoking
some road tar. A third of the way through the joint it went out. It was hard to hit
and it took several minutes after each hit to get your breath back. It was relit and
we continued to make the best effort we could to get the damn thing to burn.
At half way through we were all tired of the effort. The joint was going out
every time we passed it from person to person. We were relighting it for every hit
and the flavor was foul. When it made it way to my brother he looked at the
blackened tar dripping cylinder and shook his head. No one objected when he
pinched off the cherry and dropped in onto the rolling tray.
He grabbed a bag of fresh weed and put a couple of pinches on the tray.
After breaking up the tar soaked remains and mixing it with some fresh cleaned
weed he rolled a Lucky Strike sized joint that was maybe half tenth and half fresh
weed. Again no one objected. With a flourish he put a flame to it and inhaled.
After that it was passed from person to person with out going out. As the
cylinder reached the size we had determained was an ??Official Roach? Jeff broke
out a clip and we smoked that sucker until it disappeared. Not so much as a
scrap of paper left over for the collection. Done, Finis, No Mas.
The question was posed, what do we do with the rest of the collection? In
answer my brother emptied the containers on to the rolling tray and stirred them
all together. He tossed in a couple of big pinches of fresh weed and stirred the
whole mess together. The he got out the extra large rolling papers and rolled a
cigar sized joint . One match to fire it up and he passed it around. It seemed like a
fitting end.