pressured?

[cannabis2]

ok today i saw a nice girl in working in the supermarket, and she was just about to finish. so i waited around outside hoping she would walk past then, she sat down on a bench, and i went over to her and said hello, she replied saying hi or something, then i asked her what she was doing this evening and i sensed that she was very uncomfortable in the situation, by the way she was talking. do you think i made her feel that way or she just wasnt very confident with strangers or people hitting on her

[naturalmystic]

I'de be pretty creeped out...

...flattered..



but definetly creeped out.

[cannabis2]

why would it creep you out

[mellow mood]

maybe she just tought in his head who the fuck is this guy he looks like a damn pothead and i alrdy have a b/f. plus, hes ugly

but thats just a guess :)

[cannabis2]

maybe, but we had a little chat while she was on the tills, and i could tell there was something there. im going to go in there in a few days and tell her that im sorry for making her feel uncomfortable do you think i should or would this aggrovate matters

[Cheery Cherry]

Maybe you should try being more of a friend to her, instead of "asking her out". I don't know exactly what you said...but it could also be a possibility that she has a boyfriend already. OR she could be extremely shy. Try approaching her at a friendly level. Ask her out for a cup of coffee or some place public, where you can get to know her better.

[cannabis2]

she was waiting to be picked up by her mum. i could tell that she was shy i didnt really ask her out i just said do you want to go round the town for a bit

[cannabis2]

do you think i should apologise to her

[MaDd]

lol over here i mean it depends where u from but guys come up to girls and just ask them for there phone number. i use to do it.. i mma take a picture today or tommarow and post of a case of numbers i have. but i grew up now i just chill not really kicking it to girls

[Cheery Cherry]

I don't think it's necessary for you to apologize to her...you didn't do anything wrong! Why don't you write her a little note telling her what you like about her. Keep it short. Maybe ask to meet her somewhere, on a specific date, and then give her YOUR phone number so that way, if she calls, you know she's interested in getting to know you better. If she doesn't call, you know that she isn't ready to meet someone new.

Good luck.

[cannabis2]

im not that kind of person to leave a note id rather speak to her face to face but id apologise for making her feel uncomfortable cause she was very shy

[cannabis2]

thanks for the response everyone, apart from the smart arse (mellow mood)

[lizka4200]

getting with a bunch of guys/girls after a while gets annoying u kinda want to settle down and have the occasional one night fuck

[cannabis2]

what do you mean by that?

[mellow mood]

lol smart arse

cmon

no sense of humour

haha

[ADaisyChain]

Well, if that was how you started then that's definately kinda creepy. You gotta get to know a person before you ask if they wanna do something with you. Even if getting to know them is like, a 5 minute chat that started for a reason. If the first thing that came out of your mouth was "What are you doing this evening", she was most likely intimidated. If it's going to haunt you, go ahead and say sorry if I came on a little strong the other day or something like that. -laughs- I don't know. Otherwise if it's not going to bother you, just leave it as is. There are lots of nice girls out there. Just take it as a learning experience and pick another nice girl. :S If you really want this nice girl, apologize for coming on too strong and try a different tactic. Maybe wait until you've talked a few times ((keep it light)) and ask for her email or something.

I was just in a similar situation, I came on too strong ((via email)) and she backed off. Her last email to me was "Sorry, been very busy." I just moved on.

[cannabis2]

i think i will apologise to her but i did have a little chat with her about 15 mins previous could someone tell me why she may of been intimitated preferably girls as your most likely to give me the most accurate reason

[slipknotpsycho]

i sat wondering why and how you left some letters un-bolded, then i realized what you were doing >.> im smart can i have a cookie?

[Cheery Cherry]

See, the thing is...it's really difficult to tell if she was intimidated, shy or whatever because for me, it's all in the body language. It's what she's NOT saying. Personally for me, if I was single and looking, and some guy came up to me and asked to go for a walk around town, depending on HOW you approached me, I would. I wouldn't be creeped out or anything. Of course, I'm not shy. Like I said, I would try to put the ball in her court to see if she's interested.

[ADaisyChain]

i sat wondering why and how you left some letters un-bolded, then i realized what you were doing >.> im smart can i have a cookie?

My hypnotic trickery can't fool you! Detective Psycho. Here's 2 cookies. I'm increasing your rank.


Guy with girl problems: If you had a 15 minute chat she probably wasn't intimidated. More likely shy or not trusting or something if that was the case. Especially if the conversation flowed smoothly until that point.

Maybe don't apologize, and just try a different approach. Get into a really interesting conversation with her and then half way through check your watch and tell her you have to go. Then ask if she'd wanna continue it via email or something. Just keep it smooth. People like to feel like they're 'hitting it off' with someone before away personal information or are willing to see you alone.

You asked why that statement might be intimidating. I'm a guy, so not what you asked for. But Im typing so I'm going to continue.

When alot of guys say "Do you want to do something tonight?" aka "What are you doing this evening." Alot of guys mean "Interested in getting to know eachother a little and hopefully fucking?"

Alot of guys just have gettin into pants on their mind. Alot of girls realize this. Not saying that's what was on your mind, just saying if she was intimidated ((and I'm not sure she was anymore with the addition of the 15 minute preperation talk)) she could have mis-read you.

[cannabis2]

here are some other responses i got from another forum

1)You shouldn't. You thought she was interested, she wasn't, you realized it before any damage was done. I understand the urge to go and apologize, and I'm glad you are concerned about her reaction, but in a situation like this, going back would probably make matters worse.

2)If she felt bit uncomfortable with you - that does not mean she was 'shy'.
And no - don't go back! It is nice that you are so thoughful and you would like to apologize, but...
Don't you think the message from her part was a clear enough?

I have heard so many similar stories like yours.
I want to emphized to you guys - if pretty girl working in a shop, bank, waitress on a bar - is smiling, talking, a bit flirting with you - SHE IS WORKING AND BEEN FRIENDLY as she should - nothing else.
She have be friendly otherwise she would get sacked... but it does not mean that she is going to be your next gf.

3)What they said. Going back will just make her more uncomfortable.

4)Boy, get the wax out of your ears. DO NOT GO BACK. Forget about her and move on.

What part of this is so hard to understand? You've got several women, who would have a pretty good understanding of how we would feel if we were in her shoes, telling you to forget it. What you see as smiles and flirty looks could just have been her normal demeanor, the way she acts around everybody.

Again - do NOT go back. You're already sounding like a creepy stalker to me.

i doubt any of the above girls have had any thc in there system so what should i do listen to them or to my fellow weeders

[cannabis2]

and another........

If you don't go back, she'll know you were just being nice. If do DO go back, she'll know you don't know how to take no for an answer, and get creeped out by you.

You asked her out, she said no, end of story. Going back to apologize is NOT going to make her feel better. It will make her feel worse.

But then again, what the hell do I know. I'm only a woman.

[slipknotpsycho]

my god, i hope this is like a perfect 10 or something, you sure do seem to be focused on getting her to like you an awfully lot. it's obviously not working, so do what someone already suggested 'just move on'.

[cannabis2]

im not bothered if she likes me or not I just felt bad for making her feel uncomfortable/intimidated but obviously if i speak to her again it will just make matters worse

[GHoSToKeR]

If you're that fussed and you REALLY feel bad then go ahead and apologise. You seem like a pretty nice guy, just be friendly and say that you're sorry if you wierded her out a bit, then just say goodbye and walk away. Don't ask her out, don't give her your phone number, don't hit on her.. just apologise and say goodbye, and be as friendly as possible. That way hopefully she'll see that you really just feel bad, you took no for an answer butthat you just wanted to clear that up. You'll both leave happy. Personally I wouldn't go back to say sorry but that's just me, we're all different. Maybe i'm just not that nice! lol

[GHoSToKeR]

"But that" not "butt hat". :)