Drunk with a bat flying in my kitchen

[RedRainDrop]

ok, so i drank half a bottle of peach schnopps, and 10 minutes ago i look behind me, and a motherfucking bat was flying around in circles in my kitchen right behind me!!!! I was laughing my fucking ass off at first. Then i went and threw a pillow RIGHT dead in its flight path. It fly straight into the pillow and got OWNED! it wasn't dead though, instead it landed in my pound of butter on my counter. It couldint fly, and i was tripping like mad, so i took some paper towel, to grasp the bat, so i could throw it outside, then it was making the motherfucking scariest little screech, while its fangs chattered. So i began to stab it with a kitchen knife, yes that's right! I am drunk what do u expect? I pierced its king and body, then it was scared so it flew into a box of kraft dinner, since i am drunk, i ran out of my house with the box as fast as i could and ran into the middle of the road. I then just left the box in the middle of the road, and i fucking fell really hard on the concrete, cause i tripped. This just happend about 10 minutes ago, i thought id give you stoners a laugh.

peace outt

[Xx420.JUGGALO.420xX]

lol u stabbed a bat dude. thats awsum!

[RedRainDrop]

Lol, i know man, it was trippy shit. When i saw the bat flying i literally fell onthe ground and laughed my ass off, pointing at the ceiling screaming "A BAT A BATTTT!!"

[NightProwler]

lol shit dude thats awesome... i wish i had a bat to laugh my ass off at.

[Cleveland]

we can't stop here, this is bat country

[slipknotpsycho]

geee..........now how did i know someone was going to say that??? and are you serious or just fucked up and want to tell a funny story?? cuz if you're serious that's some fucked up shit....i wouldn't fuckin touch a bat.....cuz if it bit me i'd turn into ozzy and bite it.....'s head off

[partyguy420]

yea, i had a bat in my room last summer, it sucked... i took out my B.B. gun and shot that mother fucker with pelets, usin C.O.2 power. fucking thing, it took like 10 shoots before it went down.

[slipknotpsycho]

you think that's something, you shoulda seen how many shots this rat took to the head....now you see i don't really feel right about killing something especially a mammal and emptying a whole damn clip of .22 pelets (bigger, heavier, more painful of pellets) into it's head...but this rat had it coming...instead of running away when the lights are on it came back..i was in the shower and had shampoo in my eyes and the shit was burning then i feel this fuzzy, yet prickly shit on my feet...i hear my wife scream and that bitched stayed in the tub...i got out, ran butt ass naked to my room grabbed my gun loaded it up put a brand new CO2 into and emptied the fuckin clip in it's head...didn't die so i went and got one of those high grade rat traps and threw it in there...eventually it jumped on it and the rat was dead....damn bitch....bet he'll think twice before he jumps in the tub with me again...hope his buds do too!

[rajking86]

Ew.... the rat came into your tub?? I've had manyyyyyyyyy a day livin with mice an roaches but never have i let any pes get in my personal area. I think I would kick that rodent to near-death.

On the other hand...one night my roommate found a mouse in our kitchen last year..so he eventually sneaks up on it and sprays the shit out of it with wood polish and the mouse freaks out and stops moving........man...my rommate emtpied the whole can of polish on the mouse and i think the mouse bloated up and died a slow painful death....until it was thrown out the balcony 4 stories up........to SPLAT!

I can't remember if my roomie made me throw it out or did he..hmmm hehe

[spliffstar22]

I remember i was vacuumin my room, and i see this big fat mouse running around the corner, so I take the vaccuum off, lift it and I flatten the little fucker on the ground. grabbed a rubber kitchen glove, picked it up and threw it on the road with the glove, had to be one of the nastiest things i've seen...

[Breukelen advocaat]

Some of you guys need to get a cat lol.

My friend had one and a mouse was running around, so the cat started chasing it but didn't seem to want to kill it. The cat's owner started beating the mouse to death with something, and holding the cat by the scruff of his neck yelling, "You see? That's what YOU are supposed to do!"

Apparently, cats do not know to bite off the heads of rodents unless the mother cat teaches it as a kitten.

Or, you could get a Jack Russell terrier - they'll always go after mice and rats and won't give up until the animal is dead.

[Breukelen advocaat]

One more thing about rats - I've been told (by a girl who did it) that the best way to kill a rat in your home is to grab it by the tail and drown it in the toilet bowl.

[partyguy420]

you could get a Jack Russell terrier - they'll always go after mice and rats and won't give up until the animal is dead.

yea... but my rottwhilers will eat those lil fuckers as a snack, ive already had to kill one cuz it attacked my neabhors dog and ate the fucker

[p0t]

One more thing about rats - I've been told (by a girl who did it) that the best way to kill a rat in your home is to grab it by the tail and drown it in the toilet bowl.

sounds fun


might have to try it

[beachguy in thongs]

Some of you guys need to get a cat lol.


Right?

A bat, man, how messed up, I've only known of bats in my grandfather's basement, that's all. But to run out of your house slashing the thing is beyond me. I just want you to know I've been cracking up during the typing of this post. Hard to concentrate! My feelings were hurt until you're unfortunate slip, but that was a good end to the story.

My suggestion is to keep the lights off. That will keep you from seeing things like bats flying around your kitchen.

[kobeite]

Fucking hilarious is all I can say. I would be SCARED SHITLESS DUDE!!! You wrote that post well, I could just imagine you going after that bat!! BAT!!! How the hell does a bat get into your house :D

[Fattie]

Damn that was funny, fallin on the ground yelling and pointing a bat, a bat. Damn, was anyone else in the house, cuz if not, that makes it funnier.

[Breukelen advocaat]

Another guy I knew worked at his family's business, which was a place that supplied raw steel. The business was in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, which is zoned for manufacturing. They had a problem with rats running around the place after closing, so they bought two big dogs - German Shepardâ??s I believe, to guard the place. The first night they brought the dogs there, they left some dog food out and closed up. When they opened the business in the morning, the dog food bowls were empty, and there was nothing left of the dogs but skeletons.

[slipknotpsycho]

~sniff sniff~ do you smell that? are we near a pasture? cuz i sure as fuck smell bullshit