I've had a bad week...

[Lily420]

Well this week complettly sucked...actually the past 2 months have sucked. My mom has these phases where she'll put up with something for awhile and then maybe a year or 6 months she'll snap and have to make a big scene out of something. Well this week its me smoking pot! Im being forced to quit...and leave the Forum. I wish I dident have to but im not going to fight my mom anymore, im just gunna do everything that she wants me to do and then once im out of high school i'll come back to weed and the Forum and she wont be able to stop me.

Im really sad all this has happend and i've just lost everything that I enjoyed about my life. I dont know how my mom and I are ever going to be okay because im sick of her treating me like some horrible, lazy, selfish kid that rebels against everything just to get her mad. All i've been trying to do is be better and make her proud of me but that looks like its never going to happen. From now on im not going to try for anyone else but me because oviously my hard effort to please others backfires.

Anyway...if anyone here wants to keep in contact please e-mail me at [email protected] or [email protected]. My messangers are [email protected] and I have yahoo messanger too. I'll miss everyone here and i really do love you guys! You all are my friends and i hope everyone doesent forget about me. :( Peace, love, and bud guyz! <3

[rastabill89]

wow, that really sucks lily and im sorry that happend i will deffinity keep in touch with you cuz your a really cool girl i hope everything works out and maybe she will give in :rolleyes:


Rastabill89

[LilRedDevil]

Lily,

Sorry you are feeling so down! I do think this could be a good thing for you! You have lots of time to smoke weed in your life, no worry if you stop till school is done. Maybe you will never want/need weed.

I for one am impressed that you are honest and open with your mom and that you give her the respect to stop when she asks you. I hope my son will do the same.

Good luck Lily! Maybe you could start a web site for other young people who might want to or already have quit. Trust me no harm will come from living a srtaight life evn just till school is finished.

[MyStiCalFiSh]

bye lily

*hUgZ*

love ya, im really sad that ur leaving :(

me and everyone at cannabis.com will miss you and be looking forward to seeing you in the future.

love you

-pz 4 lIfE-

[s2headhunter]

Yeah i really respect that you are living with your moms rules alot of kids are really mean to there paretns like some of my friends and when i see them being so mean...i wanna fucking kill them.....your parents love you so much no reason to hurt them....i love my mom to death so thats why i try to hide it from her completely.....and i really respect what you are doing...and im sorry that you have had a bad time lately things will get better....

[looseends]

sad to see ya go honey...

[email protected] i'll try to keep you updated on what's going on sweetie.

[KronicKing]

gonna miss you lilly,but you'll be back i'd hope,coincedentaly my dad just told me he doesn't really care if i smoke :) sorry to hear about your situation

[Lily420]

Thanks guyz!!! Im really going to miss you all! Im only going to be here for today and tomorrow to say goodbye to everyone! I love you all!!!!!!!!!

[ImStonedNILikeIt]

Sorry that you're going. I never got to talk to you much, but you're pretty cool anyway. Hope all goes well, and that is very respectful quitting for your mom. She'll realize later in life.

Good luck.

-Me

[Killa.Kali]

i havnt been here all that long and i already knew you were a nice girl :( sorry i didnt get to know u better :mad: well its sad to see a fellow smoker go but its gotta be done *waves*

[del...]

it won't be long and you'll be back. your mom will also see how considerate and responsive you are towards her and i'm sure the leash will get some slack again soon. sorry to see you go but very glad to see the reasons why...you're one wise lady!

good luck and see ya soon...

[Hydrizzle]

please come back soon, we need all the cool members we can get,.

[OreO]

ya that really sucks....dont go.,i like your posts lol...really i do but come back if your allowed to. I hope you mom gives in and shes just mad

[rajking86]

Aww man, you're a good girl Lily, try to pop in here once in a while @ a public library or somethin! haha good luck to you.

[Lily420]

I have a problem, a behavior problem where im still just a little kid traped inside a teenagers body but on the other hand I still have feelings just as any other teenager. Im really emotional and I have a difficult time dealing with things that someone at my age might be dealing with so it makes things so much harder for me to go through or sometimes my actions would be something of a little girls. Since I was 2years old it was one bad experience after another and its made me really sick of life. I never did anything to deserve these feelings or these experiences; im just a little girl that hasent fully developed into a 17 year old girl.

Mom and I talk about this and i've been really wondering why am I like this. Why do I have such pain from things that have been said or done. I cant handle things that people think I can. When my cousin or my mom or my grandfather or anyone else talks to me they're expecting me to talk to them as a 17 year old but i dont work that way and they think im either really lazy or retarded because this is not the way a 17 year old girl would answer their question. I dont think anyone realises that this puts a lot of pressure on me to try to be something i havent become yet and now im getting depressed and hurt. Its a really horrible feeling to feel when people think your creepy or fucked up when I dont know how to respond to them like a 17 year old girl as they would suspect, im still very fragile and innocent. I had no intention at all to be this way and everyone is blaming me...its a really scary and horrible feeling. I hope Allah guides me to get better but for the time being i just have to remember that im not like people think i am. Im still pure. Im only just growing...Things right now arent very good and im very lonely.

I talked to my mom and she said she had just realized my problem and that she hd no patience on how to deal with me. I cant blame her because i had no idea how to deal with myself. I had an idea as of what was wrong with me but i never said it out loud or declared that it was actually the problem that started the whole thing. Now that my mom understands shes going to be less hard on me and be more patient around me. My mom really cares about me and shes realy the only thing I had for a very long time and i'll never forget that. Shes an amazing woman. Shes going to allow me back here but she told me to have more fun around where I live and not just sit around or just keep thinking about so many things that drive me nutz (Thinking does that... especially when your alone a lot).

Im really sorry for having to leave and return and then leave and return again. I feel really foolish and i hope no one thinks im bi polar or something ( no offense to those who r bi polar my best friend is but they are a bit undecided about things). Again im sorry....i feel really dumb right now and really confused and i hope everything will be better for me now that my mom and I understand whats happening to me and why Im not like any other 17 year old.

[Ousted]

You're a lot more articulate and self-aware than the average 17 year old. I really dont underestand what idea people in your life are feeling you should live up to. Everyone is different, and its no wonder you're depressed if your family has created some standard that they feel you are not meeting. Have they given you any guidance on what they expect from you and your behavior, or are they just criticizing without offering explanations or help to you?
If you're only getting criticism then you should make your family aware that that hurts you, it doesn't help you, and can make you beat yourself up rather than lift yourself up, which is what it sounds like to me right now.

Anyway, I want to repeat that you are extremely articulate, moreso than people even twice your age, and definitely moreso than people of your age bracket. It sounds like you are a caring and loving person who is very self-reflective, which is a wonderful and admirable trait to have. The good news is generally self-reflective people continue to take in new information and study themselves and better themselves throughout their lifetime and become highly intelligent deep thinkers - whereas the average person generally hits an intellectual stand-still early in their adulthood and never develop much beyond that.
Dont dwell on what you dont know, be proud of what you do know and that if you dont know something, you're humble enough to take in new information without beating youself up for not knowing it.

I would talk to your family though about their expectations, it really sounds like they are infecting and sabatoging your own idea of your self-worth.

[ImStonedNILikeIt]

Lily,
I personal think on here you act older then 17 at times. I know what you're saying though. I used /still am the same way at times and i'm 22 years old. I've never really been the one to deal with emotions and stuff.But don't be so hard on yourself. I think you're a cool girl, and very responcible considering you were going to leave her out of respect for your mother. That's not being rebelious at all, it's doing something that'll have a better outcome.I know a 17 year old girl right now that is very indesiesive, and is alway's going againest what her mother said. She didn't really care who or what she hurt as long as she got what she needed.

If you want to quit smoking, or whatever then do it. It doesn't mean anything. Hell it just means your more responsible about things. Rather you stay here or not, everyone will miss you, or be reallly happy that you're staying.I don't think your dumb, I still think you're a really cool girl. And I for one am glad that you're going to stay here for a bit. People need breaks from this forum, or the computer even, and no one is going to condemn you for it because they know that there is a point & time in life when they'll have to do it too.

But don't worry, Your cool,and I hope everything works out with your mother. Good luck lily, and I hope to still see you around here:)

[LilRedDevil]

Awwww Lily!

You seem like a normal 17 yr old to me, the only difference is you seem very mature to me. And very respectful of your mother. Being 17 can be a very strange and confusing time. Know it will get better!

Hang in there Lily girl!

[Lily420]

Thankz every1!! I know i dont act 5 or 10 all the time but usually i do and people find it weird. Only hen im with my friends i feel comfortable to be myself weither im acting 17 or 5. I dont think its all that bad but it does hurt when people tell me im fucked up because of it.

I love you guyz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your my buds!!!! :D

I still canmt smoke but at least im allowed back on here, and thats what i care about most. ;)

[partyguy420]

shit thats preaty shity.well i hope it all gose well. i havent smoked in 3 months, cuz i have to do a class that is recired by law for ppls under 18 if the get cought smokin pot. my dad dosent care. my mom sort of knew just she never found anything like my pipes or bongs or full or empty bags. but i hope that one day after im done eith this class my dad will invite me to spark up his bong, man he has sum dank ass nugs. i found like a lil crumb and smelt it man that smelt hella good.i put it in his bong and fired that shit up. it was like smokin like 2 huge bouls out of a bong with just one hit of this shit.

[GHoSToKeR]

Wow.. I'm so glad you're not leaving, Lily.. Shit, lol, that woulda sucked... you know how awesome I think you are, hun.. that woulda killed me :p

"Everyone is different".. Exactly.. you might not feel that you're 'growing up' as fast as everybody else, but who gives a shit? As long as you be yourself nobody can judge you... They should be happy to have someone like you in their life, coz I know I would. :)

[Lily420]

Wow.. I'm so glad you're not leaving, Lily.. Shit, lol, that woulda sucked... you know how awesome I think you are, hun.. that woulda killed me :p

"Everyone is different".. Exactly.. you might not feel that you're 'growing up' as fast as everybody else, but who gives a shit? As long as you be yourself nobody can judge you... They should be happy to have someone like you in their life, coz I know I would. :)
*hugz ghost* Your my number 1 favorite member man!!!!!! I dont know what it is about you but your wickid awesome! Thankz :D I know i really shouldent care and im going to try my best to ignore those who think little of me just because i act a diffrent way than others my age.

[looseends]

honey...you are a TEENAGER!!!! that's all. there's lil else wrong with you from the vybes you shine on. did you know that there have been studies done that during a typical teenagers journey the brain has a party in your head. it gets you ready for the years ahead. what's going through you sounds like what almost EVERYone goes through. i can't think of one person who hasn't gone through what you're going through. and if they said that their "teen years" went well...THEY'RE LYING!!!!

seems as though you're going to be just fine. some of it you have to take most of it you don't. and yeah-it's going to get tough, but you have to think of it this way. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. anything else i'll be right here for ya.

i could tell you all of my lil tryst when i was your age, but you'll be too busy picking your jaw up off the floor. ;D

[robert42]

:( awww ima miss u drop me a email sum time [email protected] :) x x x x x

[GHoSToKeR]

*hugz ghost* Your my number 1 favorite member man!!!!!! I dont know what it is about you but your wickid awesome! Thankz :D I know i really shouldent care and im going to try my best to ignore those who think little of me just because i act a diffrent way than others my age.
Awwwww.... *tear*.. group hug man, group hug! :D :p

But seriously, fuck everybody else (starting with me.. ahem) and just be who you are. :)

[mrdevious]

Just remember lily, we've yet to see one negative post here about you, and that really says something. you are a wonderfull person, better than a lot of people I've met on the web. everybody developes at different rates, and more importantly don't feel like you should have your whole life figured out and together. I'm 20 right now and after years and years of trying to figure everything out I only recently feel like I'm finally figuring out how I want to live my life. just try to be at peace with yourself and let go of ego. and ego means both feeling high and mighty about yourself, or bad about yourself. you are simply you, and so long as you strive to improve yourself physically and mentally and stay free of ignorance, what you are right now just doesn't matter, so long as it's YOU.