Curious about sex.... [Archive] - Green Grass Forums

IrieAllie

07-15-2005, 07:43 PM

....got your attention, yes? Okay, I know it's been posted before--but mostly answered by those between the ages of 13-16. I am ASSUMING that those of us who have actually paid money to be in this little "cove" are adults...so I am going to ask.

Does weed make you horny? Seriously. I have an issue with this--in all regards. If I am home alone and smoke, I head right for my sex toys. I mean, I can't stop thinking about it. Sex on the brain. Period. End of story. Obsessed.

Now, say I am smoking with my husband. We laugh, have an awesome time, but I have ABSOLUTELY NO desire to ANYTHING sexual. I am more into just hanging out and goofing around. Sex with him is great--do not misunderstand. Any other time, I am game, and loving every minute.

So I have come to this bizarre conclusion. (I can't believe I am even POSTING this where men can read. LOL). My sex toy of choice is, well, wow. I mean, eyes crossed, mind blowing, back arching, wow. I love it. If it could bring home a paycheck, I'd probably marry it.

Put it this way--after using my rubber love-god, I feel like a man. Seriously. ROFL MEANING, in the way a lot of men feel about sex. I mean, if I could experience this feeling EVERY TIME I had sex, I would want to have sex all day--at least in between bowls. LOL It would be on my brain 24/7. (Sounding awfully attractive, aren't I?) So, if you men out there are feeling like this after EVERY time you have sex...you are too damn lucky.

But--and it is NOT just Mr. Allie--I have NEVER had any type of experience with another guy like that....EVER. I mean, not even close. Mr. Allie knows this. He is also jealous of it. Before you even say it, YES, we have "incorporated" it into our sex life....but it isn't the same.

So my question is this. What the hell do I do???? LOL (By the way...under the beautiful influence of herb, I have figured out every single one of my sexual fantasies.....but I will save that for later ;) )

DonnieDarko

07-15-2005, 08:41 PM

The price of admission to the Cafe Lounge JUST WENT UP !!!! I thought that I was reading a Penthouse Letter ... WOOT !!! Can't wait till the other gals chime in !!

As you know, I'm a man, so I don't know if you want my opinion. But here goes ....

To answer the first Q: Does weed make me horny ??? Hell yeah. But when I smoke my sex drive sometimes exceeds my ability to perform (it's gotten worse w/age). So it really sucks when Mrs Darko is all revved up, and I'm mentally up for the rice, but the equipment wants to chill.

Second Q: What does Allie do ?? Not to be too explicit, but whenever my Mrs Darko gets that way with her toys ..... I just encourage her go at it on her own. When she's into it, I swear she is levitating, and all I can do is watch in amazement.

IrieAllie

07-15-2005, 08:56 PM

The price of admission to the Cafe Lounge JUST WENT UP !!!! I thought that I was reading a Penthouse Letter ... WOOT !!! Can't wait till the other gals chime in !!

..... I just encourage her go at it on her own. When she's into it, I swear she is levitating, and all I can do is watch in amazement.

YES!!!! Levitation is it! Like the "light as a feather, stiff as a board" thing.

Penthouse letter?????? That doesn't even TOUCH the other things I've written. LOL You have NO idea how much I would like to write erotica for a living!!! I've been writing BORING stuff (as a living) for years. Policy and procedural manuals, employee handbooks.....BORING SHIT! My mind gets going, and I love to put it on paper.

BY THE WAY....
I love the male opinions. Seriously. I mean, it's just not the same when he's in the room. LOL Maybe it's a self-conscious kind of thing.

Look out....I may be posting on the sex fantasy thing before long. LOL You guys can't ship Cafe stuff off to the "others" can you????????? :p

Ousted

07-16-2005, 04:19 AM

Damn that was hot. And Im a chick. I gotta know about this toy.

And weed makes me hornay, baybee. I actually replied to you in another part of the forum about this, I had thought you said you weren't into sex when high, though.

Now I know different. :eek:

Seriously though...hot. Im intrigued.

IrieAllie

07-16-2005, 01:18 PM

Ousted

07-17-2005, 04:30 AM

Ahhhh...the toy.

Irie's Toy (http://www.adameve.com/advancedsearch.asp?keywords=wabbit&CATEGORY=17320&showimage=1&ADVMODE=1)

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! Nice to get a few responses from those who are too old to watch Mr. Rogers. LOL Will give you more to chew on later.... :D

Im afraid I wouldn't be able to get serious with a name like that...I would probably chant the name in my head over and over and never get anywhere because of it, lol.

Thanks for sharing, though! ;)

NowhereMan

07-17-2005, 01:26 PM

i dont think its the weed with you in particular :)
so enjoy yourself
and i do mean that,:)

IrieAllie

07-18-2005, 01:56 PM

i dont think its the weed with you in particular :)
so enjoy yourself
and i do mean that,:)

Well, I appreciate the moral support! :p

I'm enjoying myself JUST FINE, thankyouverymuch.....more than fine...but hey...it's just me!

maryjanemama

07-18-2005, 08:20 PM

So, I know this guy....well kind of....he's a friend of my husband's but he's my age. He looks very conservative, wired rimmed glasses, same haircut since 1995, but, he's really quite the pot head and even a Demacrat!! I find him strangely attractive considering his nerdiness but whenever I am at a party and we start talking I can never seem to tear myself away from him. My husband even gets jealous every now and then and will start asking me how "my boyfriend Dave is". :rolleyes:

Anyway, everytime Dave and I are alone, he'll bring up sex, but, in sort of a round about way that leaves me confounded. Like the last time we smoked a bowl together he starts telling me about his threesome with some married chick and this guy Tony (who I graduated with and haven't been able to look in the eye since said story, thank you very much). He and Tony didn't do anything together, just to clarify. Dave is not married, nor does he have a girlfriend but he has a daughter. After the threesome story he then elaborates that he hasn't had sex in 3 years.

OK, fast forward to the past weekend. The 2 of us are talking about the air conditioning unit he is installing in his house and then out of the freakin' blue he says, "I think maybe I can tell you this and you'll think it's funny..." And he goes into this whole thing about how he thinks the people throwing the party have one of those sex balls in their bedroom. He's all, "You know what I mean? I went in there and there it was right there on the floor....a sex ball. I picked it up, it had a handle...." I can tell you right now, this was my expression :confused: .

So, I clarified the whole situation by explaining that the "sex ball" is actually an exercise ball. I was like, "Samantha uses that for yoga, Dave." He was totally embarassed and he even walked away....only to come back 2 minutes later to tell me that anytime I need a hook up I can stop by. Then he gave me exact directions to where he lives now, even describing his mailbox. And how I should try his new 3 foot bong because "it's so smooth." Then we talked up until Mr. Mary and I decided to call it a night.

What the hell is up with all of that? I would love to go over there and check out his bong and see if I can buy some since he is a lot closer to me than my regular dealer but I'm kind of leary.

GHoSToKeR

07-18-2005, 08:27 PM

Man, i'm finally starting to feel that those $20 were worth it.. lol My verbal and written skills have just deteriorated, due to this thread, an over-active imagination, and a big fat joint, but I digress...

I know exactly what you mean.. Being a guy, i'm horny all the time, but often when I smoke alone I get indescribably turned on, and immediately have to rummage through the darker depths of my DVD collection.... I still get the same feeling when having sex while high but it's nowhere near as intense, and non-existant when i'm with a group of friends (this is probably quite understandable..). But yeah, masturbating while blazed can sometimes reach almost spiritual heights (no pun intended..).. lol

My advice for you is to be open with your partner (again, no pun intended), and explain the situation to him.. Try having what I think experts would call a 'mutual masturbation session', or try masturbating in front of him or in front of eachother.. first of all it will get you as turned on as you can get yourself when you're alone, but this time you'll be with your partner, and secondly.. well, why the fuck not? lol

Peace.

IrieAllie

07-18-2005, 09:33 PM

Try having what I think experts would call a 'mutual masturbation session', or try masturbating in front of him or in front of eachother.. first of all it will get you as turned on as you can get yourself when you're alone, but this time you'll be with your partner, and secondly.. well, why the fuck not? lol

Peace.

Honey, we do that on a regular basis ;)

kb70

07-28-2005, 06:09 PM

MJ,

Nerds can totally take you by suprise.

It sounds like your dilema has many facets

1. Those related to you and your curiosity..
2. Those related to Mr. MJ
3. A new potential herb source..
4. A kick a$$ bong
5. Those realted to your new friend..who you seem able to talk to.
6. Oh yeah and the fact that he is trying to gain access to your treasures ..by dropping way obvious hints...

sounds like entertainment to me.

btw I have two portable sex balls (for reference ;-)

da boots

mlleyeuxbleus

07-29-2005, 01:05 AM

As for the original question...

I wouldn't really say it necessarily increases my level of horniness, but if I do partake of some naked magic while high, it has always been *quite* lovely. My endurance greatly increases, & I can easily slip into this almost-trancelike state of pleasure/pleasing & connectivity with the other person. Yum.

Also, once in that zone, I feel like a total sensual goddess... supremely confident & attractive. I'm usually content enough with my body & my skills, but that quotient gets cranked up a few notches, which probably contributes to the overall joyful experience.

Zandor

07-29-2005, 02:37 AM

IrieAllie, can I put you on my buddy list? lol

Really it's a pleasure to read post with grammar and proper spelling.

maryjanemama

07-29-2005, 12:35 PM

Zandor lives!!

Besides being afflicted with atrocious geekasosis, everything makes me horny. Even thong underwear....that's just too much tight material too close to too sensitive an area. Pot intensifies it, yesiree, Irie.

o2bn420

07-30-2005, 11:15 PM

My husband had taken the kids to the movies, so I had the night to myself. After a trip to the 'basement' ; ) I watched some t.v. It was a free Showtime weekend so I watched the L Word for the first time--wow, some of those scenes were really hot.

DonnieDarko

07-31-2005, 12:01 PM

NowhereMan

07-31-2005, 12:31 PM

i do remember some chicks in school that weed made horny,or so they said maybe they was just horny anyway,i knew a few of those too.
i think it may enhance the atmosphere or mood,sex is 90% in the mind so i can see it effecting alot of folks thinking,
smoke a fat jiont kick back see ya ol lady bend over picking up something the idea pops in ya head,the kids gone ,we can get naked and make the oh faces at each other , next thing ya know weed has led to sex.
so,mmm yea id say yea it does to some degree
peace

IrieAllie

07-31-2005, 04:34 PM

IrieAllie, can I put you on my buddy list? lol

Really it's a pleasure to read post with grammar and proper spelling.

I am not too organized in many facets of my life--grammar and spelling are 2 of my nit-picky things--suppose that's the reason I went to college for communications!!! You should see how long it takes me to post when I am stoned--I just couldn't bear to post without proofreading first!!! (Not that it does me any good, at times!!!!!!)

Hey, I love being a buddy! LOL All cafe folk are welcome to IM! :p

AIM: alliehutton
YAHOO: allison_and_dan

clevemire

08-16-2005, 01:41 PM

Outdated discussion, but I'll throw in my 2 cents:

Chronic may as well be Viagra for me. It usually gets me extremely riled up, without any provocation whatsoever. Even if I'm just chillin and watching TV.
Sometimes, my old lady and I will smoke one right before rolling around in the sheets. It's fan-fucking-tastic!

I'm not really down with the sex toys scene. As far as I know, we don't need any outside help. My girl once asked if I minded if she bought a dildo. I asked what for, and she mentioned I could use it on her. Um.. no. I don't mind if she has it, but I have something right here I can use anytime. :D

likemclever

08-16-2005, 06:27 PM

Ahhhh...the toy.

Irie's Toy (http://www.adameve.com/advancedsearch.asp?keywords=wabbit&CATEGORY=17320&showimage=1&ADVMODE=1)

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! Nice to get a few responses from those who are too old to watch Mr. Rogers. LOL Will give you more to chew on later.... :D

OMFG....I have that exaxt same vibrator....

and you're right it is nice.

except mine is blue.

likemclever

08-16-2005, 06:46 PM

I am not too organized in many facets of my life--grammar and spelling are 2 of my nit-picky things--suppose that's the reason I went to college for communications!!! You should see how long it takes me to post when I am stoned--I just couldn't bear to post without proofreading first!!! (Not that it does me any good, at times!!!!!!)

Hey, I love being a buddy! LOL All cafe folk are welcome to IM! :p

AIM: alliehutton
YAHOO: allison_and_dan

I also can appreciate spelling and grammarâ?¦and I suck at spelling so I type most of my posts in a word document and then cut and paste them..makes things easier especially when your stoned (takes me forever)

I currently go to college for communications

OMG Irie what if im you, and your me

That would mean I got married againâ?¦â?¦shit.

I donâ??t know if herb makes me horny but it definitely enhances my natural hornyâ??ness

I donâ??t know what to do about Mr. Irie but next time he hides your stash you can shake your wabbit at him.

IrieAllie

08-17-2005, 02:43 PM

I also can appreciate spelling and grammarâ?¦and I suck at spelling so I type most of my posts in a word document and then cut and paste them..makes things easier especially when your stoned (takes me forever)

I currently go to college for communications

OMG Irie what if im you, and your me

That would mean I got married againâ?¦â?¦shit.

I donâ??t know if herb makes me horny but it definitely enhances my natural hornyâ??ness

I donâ??t know what to do about Mr. Irie but next time he hides your stash you can shake your wabbit at him.

Damn, I'd like a blue one too! LOL

This whole Freaky Friday switcheroo thing is fliiping out my mind. Well that, and the weed. LOL

kuulbns

08-17-2005, 05:34 PM

Here's my little contribution, I hope you get a chuckle out of it.

My husband is considerably older than I, and at times his niavette is surprising. As an older gentleman (he's 68) there are some things he has not come accross in his somewhat limited sexual experiences.
One afternoon Hubby was upstairs getting something from the grow room. I keep a dresser in there for storage, and I happen to keep some personal items in there where I can have access to them. It seemed to me he'd been gone a while, so I went up to see what was keeping him.
I went upstairs, and walked in to find "Poppy" (an effectionate nickname), holding a big purple vibrator against his cheek! (Yes It's Mine). Well his surprise and dismay were evident in the color of his face! He had never actually seen one, and was curious, but if you can picture it, it was absolutely hilarious, (looking back).
Anyway, I thought it was amusing and you may get a laugh out of it.

IrieAllie

08-17-2005, 09:36 PM

Here's my little contribution, I hope you get a chuckle out of it.

I went upstairs, and walked in to find "Poppy" (an effectionate nickname), holding a big purple vibrator against his cheek! (Yes It's Mine). Well his surprise and dismay were evident in the color of his face! He had never actually seen one, and was curious, but if you can picture it, it was absolutely hilarious, (looking back).

That IS hysterical!!!! I have a vision in my mind, and yes, it made me laugh!!! I'll have to post my funny story of my six year old finding a "personal item" of mine...the explanation I pulled outta my butt for that one was priceless!!!!! :D

ScarlettCrush

08-19-2005, 08:07 PM

Weed does in fact make me honry, however it also makes me very creative and this makes for an interesting time. Already I am kinky and very open to many forms of sexuality, but something about smoking weed, and man I am down for almost anything. (except for like scat, dogs, ect.)
It also helps that my beau is hung like a porn star and just as imaginative as I am in the sack. mmmmm...I love that man.

Toys never have been as good to me as a warm and interested person. People will hit new and interesting spots that you might not have thought about, people can dress in costume and tie you up, real people who care about the quality of your orgasm are infinately better than hard cold plastic and my own exploring fingers....though it is nice to have that as an option. :p

(and I have the same exact toy for personal use as well as one of those realskin dildo's, highly recommend the realskin thing...very cushy)

likemclever

08-20-2005, 04:32 AM

Scarlett....where ya been?

It's kinda funny that we all have the same dildo. I'm not sure about that real skin thing seems like it would feel kinda creepy.....but if you say so I'll take your word for it.

IrieAllie

08-23-2005, 11:39 AM

I've missed some good stuff while I was away!!!! It's been mayhem here...parents visiting, my little girl had gymnastics camp, and they go back to school TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will finally have some "alone time"...and can't wait!!!! Next month is the girls weekend away to Atlantic City...cannot wait for that!

maryjanemama

08-23-2005, 02:53 PM

That would mean I got married againâ?¦â?¦shit.I just laughed so hard I think I peed! :D

My computer self destructed last week, so, I had lots of time to do the things that I should be doing but never take the time to do. So, I'm cleaning out my closet and you know how when you order porn from certain companies they send along a few toys? Well, at some point in time, I had stashed a big yellow envelope full of these never used toys in my closet.

On Thursday I found the envelope, my God, it's probably been in there since I was 25!! Anyway, yay for discovering lost treasures....I plan on celebrating by buying dozens of batteries.

On a serious note, one of my crazy friend's first divorced was finalized on August 3 and she got remarried on August 6. I tried to talk her out of it by explaining the good times and satisfaction that can come from a joint and a good vibrator, but, she didn't listen. What the hell is wrong with people? If I ever got divorced the last thing I would do is be looking for someone new. Christ.

IrieAllie

08-23-2005, 05:22 PM

[b]On a serious note, one of my crazy friend's first divorced was finalized on August 3 and she got remarried on August 6. I tried to talk her out of it by explaining the good times and satisfaction that can come from a joint and a good vibrator, but, she didn't listen. What the hell is wrong with people? If I ever got divorced the last thing I would do is be looking for someone new. Christ.

I have proudly and LOUDLY proclaimed that if I ever get divorved or something happens to my husband, I will never again remarry. I've already got kids, and a few fantastic vibes. What the hell do I need a man for? I'll just round up all my gay friends, and hang out with them--they make for MUCH more interesting conversation than a "manly-man", and are far less PIGGISH!!!

DonnieDarko

08-23-2005, 07:40 PM

I have proudly and LOUDLY proclaimed that if I ever get divorved or something happens to my husband, I will never again remarry. I've already got kids, and a few fantastic vibes. What the hell do I need a man for? I'll just round up all my gay friends, and hang out with them--they make for MUCH more interesting conversation than a "manly-man", and are far less PIGGISH!!!

I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???

IrieAllie

08-23-2005, 08:15 PM

I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???

I see nothing at all wrong with flying by the seat of your pants! I LOVE my husband...love being married (MOST of the time!!!), and love my kids. But you can't appreciate the beauty in being ALONE until you NEVER EVER get any alone time!! So yeah, I would be happy, traveling along with some good friends, and doing my thing..... Glad I am not alone on that one!!

GHoSToKeR

08-23-2005, 08:19 PM

likemclever

08-23-2005, 08:39 PM

I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???

I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???

Iâ??m sooooooo feeling you guys right now.

I always swore that if I got married it would be till death.

I didnâ??t realize that my marriage would make me feel dead.

It just wasnâ??t the right time for me, I even knew it at the time (honestly.) But we always know donâ??t weâ?¦..and then we go and fucking do it anyway.

Well 3 years later I had a divorce and a daughter (not in that order of course.)

Now 30, being a mommy, going to college, smoking potâ?¦..fuck does it get any better than thisâ?¦.shit.

OK so im broke all the timeâ?¦â?¦.I donâ??t care brother Iâ??m free.

Seriously, im having a good time just being meâ?¦.I could definitely do this for the rest of my life.

IrieAllie

08-23-2005, 08:58 PM

What's it like being married? I mean, i'm 18 and have never been interested in marriage; not yet, anyway. But I do wonder what it would be like to be connected to someone like that for the rest of your live[s]. Is it a nice feeling, a sad one? What?

Well, please don't take my proclimation of my floating through life by the seat of my pants as a downer to marriage. I LOVE being married...really. The best thing I did was do MY thing, whenever and with whomever I wanted when I was younger. I didn't get married until I was 26--and that was a good thing for me. Otherwise, I KNOW I would have started with the "What ifs" and regrets. I know what I am (or am NOT) missing out on. I enjoy my husbands company--we have FUN together. You have GOT to be friends--sooooooo important! Yes, we have our differences at times...which is healthy for a relationship. But if something were to happen to him (God forbid), I would be in NO rush to be out there dating or anything. I've done that...and I don't miss it!

Most important thing, to me anyhow, is that we lived together before we got married. Things change dramatically when you are sharing a roof--and bills, and all the other crap that comes along with being an "adult". The whole dynamic of the relationship changes...for us it was for the better. But that isn't always the case. I knew I wanted to marry this man...and before him, I really never had the "need" or desire to be tied to one person for the rest of my life. I am a sappy dork, and believe there are soulmates for everyone out there...and if you don't find that person, your chances in a long-term relationship aren't that great. Again, it's just my philosophy on the situation.

Live your life as a young adult...have your fun, and you'll not be worrying "did I make a mistake???" :D

GHoSToKeR

08-23-2005, 09:17 PM

Cool post, IreAllie, and thanks for the advice! :) My outlook is slightly different and maybe slightly less romantic. I don't think that everyone has a 'soulmate', as such.. I just think that everyone is so different that the possibility of everyone having a perfect 'someone' somewhere on the earth is a high possibility, but the chances of finding them are very low.. but there are so many people in the world that it's more possible to have loads of perfect possible partners all over the world, if you were ever to meet them...I don't think that if you don't find them then you won't find anyone, because like I said, I think you could be happy with all sorts of different people.. you just never look for them, find them, notice them, whatever.. Sorry, really stoned and finding it hard to express what I mean.

maryjanemama

08-23-2005, 10:16 PM

Hey, Ghost!

I know where you are coming from, I have been there before. This time (if ever) around ,though, I am in it for a total connection and love. Not just love, absolutely positively losing my mind love. And someone that gets me, you know what I mean? On all levels.

Marriage has become a ritual, something that too many of us have gotten into without really thinking about what is a marriage. Is marriage even necesarry? Some think it some how solidifies a relationship....like saying, "Yes, I love this person, this is the one for me." To me that seems bogus. It seems more like something that shows proof of love. I don't think I need the "proof" anymore. I could be happy living in harmony with someone and never going through the ritual of marriage again.

GHoSToKeR

08-24-2005, 07:05 AM

Hey MJM, how are you?

I was supposed to be getting a lift to work today, I had to meet Peter (one of the older guys I work with) somewhere at 7:30, and I got there at 7:32 and he had already left, so i'm pissed off. I have no way of getting to work, and I can't be fucked with the job anymore, that's how pissed off I am... I hate the job, it's really far away from my house, the money is so bad that it almost costs me money to work there, and most of the people are dicks anyway, especially one guy who is on a major power trip and never gets off my case... I have no way of getting to work, but i'll get in trouble for not showing up, so I'm not even gonna bother. I could walk into another job in five minutes, but I just didn't want to leave yet because I don't like confrontation and would feel bad (lol). Fucking assholes.

Wow, chill out GHoST.. lol.. Sorry, I know that has nothing to do with the thread but, hey. :)

MJM, I know exactly what you mean... I also think that that idea is bogus, but I also don't think that you need to prove to people that you love someone and want to spend your life with them, if that's really how you feel. Especially not by means of some outdated religious ceromony. But hey, that's just me... and i'm 18; i'll probably feel differently in a few years.

DonnieDarko

08-24-2005, 02:14 PM

I think that we are doing things backwards .... fall in love at a young age, without really knowing ourselves or our place in the world. Maybe our instincts tell us that we want kids, or society just tells us that is the next step. Kids need the stability of the home, so marriage seems to be the best option at that point. So there we are: young, married, kids, and not knowing much about who we are, where we're going, or where we're gonna end up. TILL DEATH DO US PART. Success is random, and we haven't learned any lessons from the past.

From my perspective now, I think that men and women need to find their place in the world (alone), for the first 35 to 45 years. At that point, they know enough about themselves and to find a compatable partner to decide how to proceed ...

ScarlettCrush

08-24-2005, 11:50 PM

I got married at 23 to someone I thought I loved. We had known each other for a year and I guess I had some idealistic view of how it would be when we where actually married or maybe I just didn't know him as well as I thought I did but it did not work out well. Years later I have been through hell but I feel like I know myself and know what I want in another person.
I did find a soulmate, and I think I needed to go through all that in order to be ready for him. I can't wait to marry him. When we are apart we talk all the time, when we are together we are always touching each other and laughing about stuff. I look forward to seeing him every morning when we are together. What I felt for other people pales in comparison to the blaze of affinity I feel with him. We all live in a different tune, together he and I are harmony and it feels like an orchestra.
The best part is he feels the same about me.
I've been in his deja vu, we have had the same dreams, we say random things at the same time.......I don't think I ever beleived in destiny...until I met him.

Ousted

08-25-2005, 05:07 PM

but I also don't think that you need to prove to people that you love someone and want to spend your life with them, if that's really how you feel. Especially not by means of some outdated religious ceromony. But hey, that's just me... and i'm 18; i'll probably feel differently in a few years.

Marriage has legal protections which is a big reason as well why people get married. A big part of it is the expression of love and commitment, tradition also.
I feel safer being legally married to my spouse than I would if we just lived together, whether that be til death do us part, or him skipping town on me. But the willing to commit on both of our parts under the law I think is an expression of love and commitment you can't really duplicate or imitate. Surely some people dont take the act of marriage seriously, but that doesn't make marriage something for fools, just because any fool can get married.

And our ceremony wasn't religious. :)

mlleyeuxbleus

08-25-2005, 06:45 PM

Wow, this thread has evolved into a discussion that's pretty interesting. Not that the sexy part wasn't interesting... ah, y'all know what I mean, lol!

I'm 28, & happily single. But when I was 19, I got married (yes, I know... wtF was I thinking). I've always been very mature for my age, & I thought I knew what I wanted. In retrospect, I think I may have just wanted the feeling of connection so much, & to make a change in my life. Not that I needed to... I was in school & doing ok, I just figured that it would give me life this dynamic sense of purpose, & the idea of such a commitment seemed so amazing to me.

We eloped, & I remember standing in front of the JP saying the vows, being absolutely *terrified*. I hadn't been before, but as I stood there I realized the full impact of what I was doing. My tears weren't just happy tears, but more like 'OMG wow, what am I signing up for here?' The marriage didn't last very long, & we had no kids or anything, so we haven't talked in years. Nothing awful happened, no abuse or cheating, I just felt completely stifled, trapped, & depressed, & so I had to be on my own. Telling him I wanted a divorce remains the hardest thing I've ever done, the toughest decision. He was really devastated, & yet I *had* to make that decision for myself in order to live the life I wanted.

Now, 9 years later (wow), I feel so different. I wonder if maybe I'm not meant to walk my path alone. And most of the time, that possibility doesn't seem scary or bad to me. Now that I realize what it means to truly share your life with another, I'm much more cautious about venturing into such things. Not bitter at all, just realistic. So if alone is the way for me, I feel at peace with that.

But yes, a part of me would love to have a companion to be with. Someone very positive, with a sense of spirituality, to play with, talk with, & just share experiences with. I know now how I am in relationships, & feel so light now that I've worked through my issues... I realize the sort of person I would really work best with, & realize all that I have to offer another person. At this point, I'm so content being on my own that I might do well with someone who travels a lot. Then I could have the best of both worlds, lol... cozy reunions & sense of continuity, but still my quiet evenings alone with a bowl, a book, & a bath.

But as far as marriage, yes, I would do it again, if the right person & time come into my life. I would just be very certain I knew myself & my mate extremely well, & would make it a very magical, personal experience. I understand the fears & reluctance regarding marriage, but I think that if done in an authentic spirit, it could be a very beautiful thing.

Wow, I really rambled there. Sorry 'bout that. :)