BEWARE OF HEIFFERS!

[ontariogrower]

Hahaha...I was chatting with this bitch online, man i dont know if you've ever had this horrible shit happen to you but anyways.......I got a pic of her....and it was kinda like the neck up. So anyways we kinda fell a quarter in love i guess and i ended up driving to toronto to see her. Which is like......4 hours away. Anyways i got there and met her. She pulled up in her car. Again i only saw her face, she was quite pretty...I start following her back to her house and i parked....I got out of my car..then...i hear a horrible rumble, and coming towards me, she was about 5'11 and some sort of fat breasted, huge ass, godzilla. Of course I was much to nice and way to shy to run away and besides, I'm a good guy, i can see past the weight and height. Or so i thought. Anyways, we walked up the stairs to her apartment and her ass was massive, it reminded me of one of those big exercise balls that women work out on. I kept staring and i started feeling nauseaus, but it was okay. I was going to be okay, i could get past this and spear the white whale. We approached the door to her apartment and i heard her say, " I saw you looking at my ass" and she gave it a smack. The sound echoed for all to hear and i'm sure the man standing in the hall vomited shortly after seeing this cow. We walked into the apartment and i sat down on the couch and quickly began thinking about alcohol and how much i would have to drink before i went down on this heiffer. She came over to the couch with a bottle of vodka and i let out a sigh of relief and quickly poured a drink for myself. I finished the drink and went to get another and another until i was at 3 drinks. She had drank about 5 because she was obviously a booze slut. She took my foot and placed it on her crotch and i tried to smile but i grimmaced as i felt touching her genitals. She then downed 10 more glasses of orange juice and vodka and the bitch CUT ME OFF AT THE 3 I HAD!!!!!!! She got up and stumbled around and told me to come closer. I, reluctantly, stood up and proceeded towards the sow, she grabbed me and dragged me into her room and lay me down on the bed and stripped. Only in a bakery had i seen so many rolls. I began to get butterflies, i pinched myself to make sure i wasn't having another nightmare about moby dick. The grabbed me and stripped me and tried to touch my balls and i decided i had to do something quick. I made up an excuse and lay down and said i was tired from the 4 hour drive. I pretended i had a headache and that i couldn't possibly perform tonight but maybe tommorow. I lay in bed and the drunken whore lay down beside me and started to cry. I again pinched myself and wondered if this was really happening. Was she really crying because i wouldnt fuck her? Inside my mind i was laughing at the pathetic whore, but i was even more pathetic for falling for the old face picture on yahoo. I should have known that from the neck down she had the figure of a grizzly bear. Before i knew it she was begging me to fuck her and i again made up an excuse and after alot of crying and whining i finally agreed to shove my fingers in this fatties buttery cunt. She asked me how many i could fit, so i jammed my fingers in her with force trying to rip her nasty cunt but her fat pussy strangled my fingers and rendered them helpless. I was powerless, her pussy had a hold on me. I kept fingerfucking until finally i had 5!!! YES FIVE FUCKING FINGERS IN THIS PORKER!!! I was amazed at how loose she was, but in a split second i was nauseated. It seemed that when i put my fingers in her, i had released her scent. Her cum was thick and the fingers seemed to be wafting a rotten garbage smell into the air. I reached for some form of gas mask, but there was none there so i just grabbed a sock and placed it over my nose. I fingered her until she came. Then i went to wash my hands....i noticed thick white GOO! ALL OVER MY FUCKING HANDS. IT WAS CRUSTY TOO!!!! Well, long story short......I snuck out when she passed out and stopped at the nearest gas station to shoot gas all over my hands to kill whatever that nasty shit was!!!


MY WARNING IS!!! DO NOT MEET CHICK ON THE NET UNTIL YOU SEE A BODY PIC!!!! I MADE A DUMB MISTAKE!! WHEN YOU SEE A WHITE WHALE!!! RUN...............



P.S I have nothing against fat chicks.......only REALLY REALLY FAT CHICKS WHO ARE like 6 ft tall with asses a meter in width......!!!!! My woman is 210 lbs and 5'6 and i love her chubby ass. But man this other chick was a whale. fuck. Her name is carla and she's from mississauga! run for your life if you meet her in yahoo chat or anywhere else. :(

[slipknotpsycho]

....boy, i can't wait to see what some people are going to say about your post .....i'm thinking mainly stedric, maryjane, and uhm.....cheery..yea that's my bet.


since you posted this elsewhere i'm posting what i said in refrence to the other one.

[burnitup]

Thats a nightmare if I ever heard one, goodluck erasing those visuals from your memory. Had a girl with a really smelly cooter once myself didnt even let those juices touch me. Feel sorry for ya bro, my condolensces. :eek:

[EverydayJunglist]

Well i do not have anything against fat people,but i'm sure you will get some nasty replies....personally i found your story very humorous in a mean kinda way...hilarious nonethless.

"only in a bakery i seen so many rolls" hehe so harsh

just admit you porked that booze slut good!

[Cheery Cherry]

So let me get this straight, you have a woman, who is over 200 lbs., and you decided to shop around for another woman online and ended up with a bigger woman. Because you drove four hours to meet her, you decided to stick around and because you're a "nice guy", you string her along so you can get some booze out of her?

So when you were chatting with her on Yahoo, you were only interested in sex, correct? I say you got what you deserved. Does your woman know about this adventure of yours?

[ontariogrower]

Oh Cherry. I wasn't shopping around for a new fat chick. This happened about 2 years ago. I'm not trying to be mean or anything and i wasn't just trying to lead her on. This all happened within like.......a few hours. I just didnt know how to get out of there. This girl was like 350 lbs!!!!!! I don't hate big girls at all. Chubby chicks can be beautiful and my woman is. There is, nasty fat, and pretty fat and this carla ho qualified as the nasty fat. Me mean? Fuck that, i think not disclosing that she was 350lbs was fucking mean and nasty. She lied to me before i came and we talked for months and she didnt even tell me the truth. If it wasnt such a big fucking surprise i might have handled it better. Beware of the women online who lie about their weight!!!!! She made it sound like she was just a tiny bit chubby but this was not the case. So i suggest you make the girl your talking to show you her body so you can be sure you dont end up with a 350lb whackjob. If she wasnt so fat her pussy wouldnt have smelled like shit i bet. This thing was festering with bacteria and only God knows what else. When a girls ass is 3 times the size of mine, it's bad news!!!! You can't blame me for running. :rolleyes:

[Euphoric]

OMFG HHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA POETRY!!!

[Cheery Cherry]

Oh okay...I guess I misunderstood at first, sorry :).

[Juggalotus17]

Bro i seriously have to thank you. You couldn't have made my night any funnier. I hope you don't take this offensivly, but that is one of the funniest things i have ever fucking heard!!!!!

[slipknotpsycho]

the wording was funny, but the whole concept behind it was just mean....but i can't say much i probably would've done the same thing. with the posting about it exempt...that one woulda went into the shawn-vault and never came out like a lot more :D

[ontariogrower]

i'm happy you enjoyed it :D heheh...i was pretty high when i wrote it but i still think it's pretty funny.

[BalliN]

haha this story was fuckin hilarious

" I should have known that from the neck down she had the figure of a grizzly bear."

[professer evil]

ive been tellin yous about them stinky fukin pussy juices and its usually the bigger chicks that stink and i bet that fat cunts bush was like a wild garden that hadnt been trimed in years,i could puke at the thought of your beautiful descriptions of this whale,

im suprised you didnt have to throw a few bags of flower over her to find the wet patch......howc are u honestly meant to have sex with a girl that big??theres no way there gettin on top of you and bouncing.

but thats what u get for falling in love on the internet,a bit sad if u ask me,do it the old fashioned way and go to a bar,at least u get to see the whole body.that fat cunt knew exactly what she was doin only showin her head in her pics and u got played like a cheap harmonica my friend..................

[professer evil]

the fat bitch probly had more chins than a chinese phone book

[Breukelen advocaat]

I used to have a boss that was sort of a â??wiseguyâ?� type â?? although the business was, on the surface, â??legitimateâ?�, they were involved with loansharking and gambling. The guy was in his 30â??s, and owned a racehorse (probably gave it performance-enhancing dope).

He was talking on the phone one day to a secretary, whom heâ??d never met, and asked her for a date. She accepts, and that weekend he drives out to her house and her mother answers the door. She calls to her daughter, and down comes â??the fattest person youâ??ve ever seen!â?� Well, it was too late to try to get out of it, so he figured that getting it over as quickly as possible would be best. Before they leave, the girlâ??s mother starts giving him lectures and warnings, â??Youâ??d betta bring my daughter back-a home earlyâ?�, etc.!

On the way to the movies, she makes him stop for some hot dogs at a fast-food place. Naturally, she has to eat multiple portions of almost everything they had.

The whole evening, he was nervous that heâ??d see someone he knew. He wasnâ??t shy about telling the story to make people laugh, though. The LAST thing in the world that the girlâ??s mama had to worry about was his trying to seduce her, or spend more time with her than he had to LOL.

[muncheemama]

damn, I'd love to be around when the girls start talking about you guys and your tiny members, and how you wouldnt know a gspot from a hole in the ground...you guys are pathetic.

[Satovan]

Haha yeah dude, the internet is a bad bad place to find women.

[Fattie]

I cant believe you touched it.

[clevemire]

damn, I'd love to be around when the girls start talking about you guys and your tiny members, and how you wouldnt know a gspot from a hole in the ground...you guys are pathetic.What's even more pathetic, is that you most likely read the whole story, and you even bothered to spend the time to post a reply. Instead of just ignoring something you simply don't agree with, you'd rather label people you've never even met 'pathetic'.

The irony is delicious, indeed.

[Breukelen advocaat]

damn, I'd love to be around when the girls start talking about you guys and your tiny members, and how you wouldnt know a gspot from a hole in the ground...you guys are pathetic.

Glutton
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: overeater
Synonyms: crammer, epicure, garbage hound, gobbler, gorger, gormandizer, gourmand, greedy-gut, hefty eater, hog, pelican, pig, sensualist, stuffer

[Breukelen advocaat]

No offense intended, muncheemama, because a â??gluttonâ?� could be a man OR a woman.

Some of the guys' comments are a little too graphic, outside of the proverbial locker room, but this thread is not exactly an exercise in good taste anyway. None of the guys are talking about rail-thin women as their ideal â?? and some confirmed, on other threads, that they prefer women with some extra weight to some degree.

[ilovebecky]

i almost threw up reading this...

[potpimp]

Hey I live in toronto, whats her e mail adress? I like fat chcicks with smelly pussy juice

[Buzzing 4 life69]

Hey I live in toronto, whats her e mail adress? I like fat chcicks with smelly pussy juice

ahahahahahahahahahahaha thats sum sick shit bro........

[nicholasstanko]

Hey I live in toronto, whats her e mail adress? I like fat chcicks with smelly pussy juice

hey shit. me too...i mean i live in toronto..not the fat bitches with pussy juice thing. wanna hook up and smoke pot at my apartment or somthin?

[SmokeyPotter]

hehe, funny story. It was surprisingly well written, although paragraphs never hurt anyone :)

[firsttimefarmer]

I think i saw this story in a porno film once

[professer evil]

nicholasstanko have u learned nothing from this story???yet here u are inviting some bloke to ur appartment to smoke weed with u,and why?just because he lives in toronto.how many other people live in toronto and u just wouldnt invite any of them to ur crib,that bloke could be a cop or a faggot or a thief or murderer or whatever.or just a boring cunt with no mates and once he knows where u live he keeps showin up uninvited and unwanted







BEWARE O THE INTERNET

[xReLiNqUiShLoVe]

If I wasn't a fat chick I'd find this so much funnier.. I'm 5'2" 240.. but for some reason everyone guesses like 180 usually, I guess it's 'cause I'm young and my fat is hard so I still have a decent shape to me.. *shrugs*

Careful though nicholasstanko, potpimp might be a fat bastard trying to engulf your head with his anus.

[highinspain]

:eek: Unfortunatly the same thing happened to me in arizona she was a fat smelly disgusting pig and i fucked her because she lied to me sorry but it is the truth :(

[9ski9]

In the bigger picture, Ontariogrower, you likely did exactly what she wanted you to do. This woman was morbidly obese, tricked you with a cropped photo, then put herself in the most humiliating position by begging for sex. She abuses her own body and craves sexual humiliation...you weren't the first nor the last and therapy is the only thing that could possibly help her. She's responsible for her own actions.

Good story, 'Dude. Made me want to wash my own hands. Anorexic chicks give me a boner, although it's pretty politically incorrect to say so. Women with tiny boobs and near-zero body fat in a Japanese schoolgirl outfit is what I dig.

[rajking86]

Oh my god this is the best story ive read on here in a while...... bravo!

Favorite lines:
"Only in a bakery had I seen so many rolls."
& the classic
"I should have known that from the neck down she had the figure of a grizzly bear."

[rastabill89]

lol, the story was funny but kind of mean also

[professer evil]

9ski9 i think YOU need therapy u sick fuck, having fantasies about skinny bitches in school uniforms who eat dinner and then throw up all over the place,thats not healthy. id be afraid of hurting a girl that skinny,just grab the arm and they brake out in bruising

who likes a girl with no tits and fuck all body fat,i think your really into little boys in japanese schoolgirl uniforms.


ive just shat myself you fucker

[9ski9]

9ski9 i think YOU need therapy u sick fuck, having fantasies about skinny bitches in school uniforms who eat dinner and then throw up all over the place,thats not healthy. id be afraid of hurting a girl that skinny,just grab the arm and they brake out in bruising

who likes a girl with no tits and fuck all body fat,i think your really into little boys in japanese schoolgirl uniforms.


Nah, Prof, you're thinking of bulemic chicks. Anorexic chicks just never eat so they don't barf up dinner, bulemic one's do.

I grew up in a big titted family of DD women. The first girl I screwed with big titties gave me flashbacks of my mom, which was really fucked up. Skinny little no-boobed chicks for me. Call me queer, I don't care, it's substantially better than feeling like a mother fucker.

[xReLiNqUiShLoVe]

"Grandma fucker."

"Mother fucker!!"

"Yes I am."

"Ahhh!"

[ontariogrower]

hahahah oh god.......you guys are hillarious!!! haha

[Encatuse]

nicholasstanko have u learned nothing from this story???yet here u are inviting some bloke to ur appartment to smoke weed with u,and why?just because he lives in toronto.how many other people live in toronto and u just wouldnt invite any of them to ur crib,that bloke could be a cop or a faggot or a thief or murderer or whatever.or just a boring cunt with no mates and once he knows where u live he keeps showin up uninvited and unwanted

BEWARE O THE INTERNET

-laughs- You just made me realize something that I don't know why I never have. Thank you for that.

I won't comment on the story because it's not in my department of interest.