Some thoughts on "opting out"

[4252]

A good friend of mine decided to end his life yesterday, and I thought comments here would be relevent.

The phrase "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" comes to mind; there's nothing one can go through that can't be made manageable through help from others and a moment or two of thinking about how it can be worked out. Suicide isn't a solution, it's the start of a whole new set of problems for the people you leave behind.

In view of the fact that our lives can be terribly challenging, and that some here, as in all other walks of life experience periods of instability and doubt, I'd like to urge anyone who'd consider such an alternative to at least give your friends and family a chance to help.

42

[mono repin]

So sorry to hear you lost a friend 42.

[red662]

sorry to hear about your friend man, iv had close people life long friends, die round me these last years, mainly due to drugs, heroin or as with your case life gets 2 much, its heavy, iv been told im blessed, im strong in matters like that i can shrug it off but others r not so lucky life engulfs them and strangles the life out of the person untill the only alternative in there minds is 2 take there life.
i dont bleieve in god,sorry, but i do believe in some sort off higher power and hopefully ur friend is up there chillin out.
nice thought.

[ezjim]

sorry bout your friend dude it sucks that there is so much money spent on ways to end lives [ bombs / wars ect. ] but so little spent on prolonging life and helping out those who are having a hard time dealing with thier problems we buried my best friend about 10 -11 yrs ago he had been a truly unhappy person most of his life and when he got clean his problems seemed to just over whelm him he checked out on his 28th bday after 6 months of clean time he did his last shot and went on to the next place we miss him still to this day but i really believe in my heart that he is in a better place and happier than he would be if he was still with us im sorry for your loss but like the saying goes only the good die young so im pretty sure i'll be around for quite a while

[robert42]

sorry man i dunno wt makes ppl do it but some ppl think lifes too hard to live.

all the best from one 42 to another 42

[Cheery Cherry]

(((((42))))) Sorry to hear about your loss. I have never lost any friends or family to suicide but know a kid, who is 14 years old, who has attempted to kill himself about 4 months ago by slitting his wrist. He moved away from my neighborhood that same week. I wanted to speak with him before he moved away but didn't get the chance to. I know his mother found out about him slitting his wrist but she got upset about it and told him next time, she's going to take him to see a doctor. I couldn't believe her response. NEXT TIME? Wow.

[Calliesmokes2]

Sorry about your friend 42. This girl at school tried to kill herself this year but her brother found her and she's still not doin too good. You're totally right though, all it does is leave a painful mess for his family.

[4252]

Sincerest thanks for all the comforting comments.

42

[GHoSToKeR]

A friend of mine just lost a relation who decided to commit suicide also. I think we all know how the loss of a family member or friend can effect us; so in some ways suicide may be considered the selfish way out. But I think that the people who choose to commit suicide will have decided, in alot of circumstances, that ending their own life is the only way to cope - when somebody has reached that point I don't think rationality and selflessness are a major part of their thought processes. For them, suicide is the greatest relief and the last resort... maybe even a new beginning.

I'm sorry about your loss also, 4252. It should go without saying that if you ever need somewhere to come and chill and even occasionally 'escape', then this is the place. :)

[daZenfmeister]

Suicide sucks, I mean I'm sure alot of us here have thought about it at one time or another, I sure know I have. Most people who try to kill themselves are just trying to get attention. The ones who usually succeed are the people who really don't want to be alive anymore.

Oh well we all die someday. So does it really matter if its sooner or later? I personally want to die someday, hopefull after having seen alot of cool stuff and experianced all that life has to offer me. I mean what if there isn't anything after this life? What if all of the Chirtians and Hindu's and Buhdists and everyone are completly and utterly wrong. Well then I want to have fun while I can and not take anything too seriously. Well thats just my philosophy.

Try not to worry too much 42 because in the end we all mean just as much in the universe: nothin.

[The Piper]

sorry 2 hear that man

[Dick Justice]

Man I'm sorry to hear that, that's got to be hard. I like how they do funerals in Korea though, after they're buried they're considered to be in heaven or released from karma (depending who you ask), so you stop being sad and go back to acting normal. They consider death as a definite step up.

[duppy man]

I can empathize with you 100% a very very dear friend of mine who guided me through teenage years sometimes with a clip on the ear she was a gem. jumped from a multi story with her child, I don't think I'll ever come to terms with it such a sad loss

[motahead]

. I think we all know how the loss of a family member or friend can effect us; so in some ways suicide may be considered the selfish way out. But I think that the people who choose to commit suicide will have decided, in alot of circumstances, that ending their own life is the only way to cope - when somebody has reached that point I don't think rationality and selflessness are a major part of their thought processes. For them, suicide is the greatest relief and the last resort...)

I agree.. remember that although it is hard to understand, people who consider suicide are usually suffering from a mental illness most commonly depression. They are not thinking straight...like a schizophrenic who hears voices, the person who is severely depressed cannot think rationally and then tragedy ensues. "Selfishness" cannot be used to describe anyone in a situation like this..although it "seems" selfish to others because of the pain that people feel. But that concept cannot be applied to a person who takes their own life! If you've considered suicide but managed to stop thinking about it..it's not because you decided to not be selfish, you managed somehow to come out of the depressive thought pattern you were locked in to for whatever reason, but some people can't because of their illness. We still have along way to go in really undestanding how the human mind works and all the things that can go wrong with your brain.

My solution to depression, smoke weed. Works for me so far.

[TasteTheRainbow]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Suicide is just so so sad. :(

People who have never struggled with mental illness just can't understand that though process...my thinking [during a very deep depression] was that my family and friends would be better off without me. Having to deal with me was just a pain in the ass, a burden if you will. I was screwing up my kids and my husbands lives; they'd be better off without me. I know many people say that suicide is just selfishness, but in MY mind, I was going to do them a favor. Thank God I didn't, and I got the help that I needed. I hope you are able to find peace. Take care.

[4252]

You've all been very kind, and I appreciate it a lot.

I've since heard that Ron was fighting depression for several years; I didn't have a clue, he was always on top of things and very upbeat. Never hesitated to help people, had a great sense of humor, and a good intellect. His deciding to end it all was a complete shock and surprise. He ran his own forum, was a moderator and/or member on several others. The fact that we're not talking about much else on the forums gives some indication of how well liked he was. More like a celebrity, as well as a close friend.

Thanks again,

42

[likemclever]

Hey 4252,

We've talked about this already a little bit and I still don't have the words. I'm sorry you lost your friend. It must have been a difficult time for him and I wish he would have leaned on his friends a little more instead of just checking out. I don't know how to make sense of all this. I wish I could help you but I know that I can't.

[GHoSToKeR]

4252,

In my opinion the best support anybody can give is to be available to give support when it's needed.. If you need to talk, vent, shout, cry, scream or hurl abuse then us Cannabis.comers will always be hear to 'listen', man. :)