Girlfriend might be pregnant!

[Button Basher]

'Sup y'all.

I was with my girlfriend two nights ago. We were getting heavy under the duvet (as you do) when she started bleeding a tiny bit. Neither of us can explain why, her period isn't for another two weeks and we never have unprotected sex (although we have "warmed up" a few times as explained in one of my other sexy threads).

Is there a chance she could be pregnant? I'm apparently the most responsible BF she's ever had in the sense I make sure we always use protection, she used to have full blown unprotected sex with her others resulting in a few scares but nother major. Am I so unlucky that this has happened from 3-4 in-outs? :mad:

I looked on the net but can't pinpoint it. She's having a test Tuesday to find out for sure and we've agreed she should have an early termination of some kind if it's positive. The problem is we live miles and miles apart and she's pro-life (i'm pro-choice) and said she'd hate to go through with it without me even though it's the best idea for both of us.

Can anyone offer advice on this? Thanks you lot!

[Mojavpa]

I dont get it. Shes pro-life but agreed to terminate the pregancy if shes pregnant?

[Button Basher]

Poor thing, I think she wants to be pro-life (she's a real hippy) but we really can't have a kid at this moment in time.

People don't pass judgment on this, your not the ones in the situation. I'd just appreciate some help if anyone can offer.

[AdidasZ21]

I would wait untill the time when she is supposed to be having her period and see if she has it...If she is late by more than 2 or 3 days...That's when you worry.

I've Had to go through this a few times lol

[Button Basher]

Well I can find out Tuesday :p . I just hate worrying, you should've seen me yesterday. :D

Apparently natural short bleeding can be a sign of pregnancy but by the looks of things it was me that brought it on (I won't go into details ;) ).

[maryjanemama]

Apparently natural short bleeding can be a sign of pregnancy but by the looks of things it was me that brought it on (I won't go into details ;) ).
Lol, Ok, big boy. :p

I think you're buggin for no reason, personally. Chill out and wait until she's actually late. No need getting yourself all worked up over nothing. :)

[mlleyeuxbleus]

"Warming up" without a condom actually *is* unprotected sex. She could be pregnant from that, but there are also many other reasons for breakthrough bleeding. Bleeding doesn't necessarily indicate pregnancy.

[PurplePotatoes]

Well, personally I'm pro-life. I don't believe in killing babies... and I don't specifically believe that babies are actually alive at that state when they're aborted. But I think if it's okay to do that, it's okay to kill a baby that isn't able to run away or say "no" yet. Because at that state... they really aren't anything but leeches, and aren't mature enough to really have memories, or have a concious existance. They sure as hell have emotions and feelings, but it's as big of a deal as a fetus. It sounds really fucked up, but just remember I'm PRO LIFE, and don't believe in abortion period. If you're lucky enough to have sex (because we all know it's great), then you should be able to take the responsibility of having a kid. IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN THAT WAY. You have sex, you have a kid. It's simple as adding two plus two. There should be no reason to worry about a pregnancy, if you have to drop out of school to support the kid, then do so! Put your life on hold so you can support the kid and care for him or her. Kids aren't supposed to be little monsters who ruin your life, you don't think cave women just killed their babies when they were tired of having it?

I'm also against divorce, unless you plan on staying single or getting remarried to that person. It's ridiculous how so many people are getting divorced... there was a time when these practices weren't acceptable, and now it's perfectly normal... what happened?!

[mellow mood]

im not pro anything. i just think in certain circumstances u have to do some chocies. some may be forced. if u really cant have a kid, the solution isnt hard to find

and by the way, unprotected relation is fuckin dumb. now assume your acts man

peace

[GfLoW]

I'm also Pro-Life and I think abortion should be illegal, cause God made a child and you're killing it. It's like comitting murder.

You made the choice of having unprotected sex and now you will face the consequences if your gf does become pregnent.

[slipknotpsycho]

Well, personally I'm pro-life. I don't believe in killing babies... and I don't specifically believe that babies are actually alive at that state when they're aborted. But I think if it's okay to do that, it's okay to kill a baby that isn't able to run away or say "no" yet. Because at that state... they really aren't anything but leeches, and aren't mature enough to really have memories, or have a concious existance. They sure as hell have emotions and feelings, but it's as big of a deal as a fetus. It sounds really fucked up, but just remember I'm PRO LIFE, and don't believe in abortion period. If you're lucky enough to have sex (because we all know it's great), then you should be able to take the responsibility of having a kid. IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN THAT WAY. You have sex, you have a kid. It's simple as adding two plus two. There should be no reason to worry about a pregnancy, if you have to drop out of school to support the kid, then do so! Put your life on hold so you can support the kid and care for him or her. Kids aren't supposed to be little monsters who ruin your life, you don't think cave women just killed their babies when they were tired of having it?

I'm also against divorce, unless you plan on staying single or getting remarried to that person. It's ridiculous how so many people are getting divorced... there was a time when these practices weren't acceptable, and now it's perfectly normal... what happened?!
ok i'm not here to start an argument or "debate" i just gotta say it (as a matter of fact i probably won't even be back to this thread) but does that mean it's ok to kill a mentally-incompetent person just because they can't run away or say no?

[Button Basher]

Wow, thanks for the GREAT advice. You guys are a big fucking help.

Well guess what, I don't share your views on abortion and think it's perfectly acceptable. Does that mean i'm going to hell? No, because I don't believe in that shit either. We can't have a child now, we are too young and have too much planned. Neither of us WANT one, therefore we'd be raising an unwanted child that was never intended.

If I wanted your dumb opinions on the subject, I would have asked for them. I asked you not to pass judgment as your not in the same situation (I doubt you've ever been, it's easy to point fingers like your a fucking saint) but oh well, you did. Why not fuck off to the spiritual form if you need to vent some of that pro-life frustration. All i'm asking for is a little help under pressure. I'd never want my girlfriend to go through with something like this but we've both agreed it's the best option.

If it's positive, i'm just really fucking unlucky because the only unprotected sex we had was 4-5 in-outs without a condom. I was always the one to say 'stop' in case this happened. If it IS positive, it's early enough to be a mass of chemicals, NOT a baby. We're thinking about the facts, not the god-damn morals, life is too short.

I'm in a position where i'd rather not hear some small-minded individuals bullshit ramblings on something that really isn't relevant to my situation. We've already agreed on what we need to do, don't have a hissy fit because I don't float your boat.

All i'm asking for is advice. Nothing more.

[Torog]

Wow, thanks for the GREAT advice. You guys are a big f*cking help.

Well guess what, I don't share your views on abortion and think it's perfectly acceptable. Does that mean i'm going to hell? No, because I don't believe in that sh*t either. We can't have a child now, we are too young and have too much planned. Neither of us WANT one, therefore we'd be raising an unwanted child that was never intended.

If I wanted your dumb opinions on the subject, I would have asked for them. I asked you not to pass judgment as your not in the same situation (I doubt you've ever been, it's easy to point fingers like your a f*cking saint) but oh well, you did. Why not f*ck off to the spiritual form if you need to vent some of that pro-life frustration. All i'm asking for is a little help under pressure. I'd never want my girlfriend to go through with something like this but we've both agreed it's the best option.

If it's positive, i'm just really f*cking unlucky because the only unprotected sex we had was 4-5 in-outs without a condom. I was always the one to say 'stop' in case this happened. If it IS positive, it's early enough to be a mass of chemicals, NOT a baby. We're thinking about the facts, not the xxx-xxxx morals, life is too short.

I'm in a position where i'd rather not hear some small-minded individuals bullshit ramblings on something that really isn't relevant to my situation. We've already agreed on what we need to do, don't have a hissy fit because I don't float your boat.

All i'm asking for is advice. Nothing more.
Howdy BB,

My advice,is to think about the consequences of having sex first,before gittin yerself into this kind of situation.

I hope that girlfriend realizes,that if she chooses to murder her child,then she can no longer be considered pro-life. My wife,had 2 abortions,before I met her and she still regrets terribly,doin so..do you really want your girlfriend to have a life-time of guilt and shame ? Also,abortions are not as nearly safe as you might think..there's evidence to show that long-term health problems could result and in the short-term,she could either hemmoragh to death or be unable to concieve again.

The greatest risk to you,is the harm that you're doing to your soul,your girlfriend has even more to lose and risk. Have you,in your small-mindness and narcism,considered the risks that your girlfriend faces ? She will carry the burden of her choice,for a life-time..will you stand beside her..or cut your losses and run away ?

Have a good one...

[maryjanemama]

Good luck, BB, I hope she isn't pregnant. Sometimes rough sex can result in bleeding, maybe you two just got a little too freaky. Anyway, this is not the politics forum, so you two do what you have to do if she is pregnant. Like I said yesterday, I think you are tripping for no reason, wait until the test results come back.

[Button Basher]

Thanks maryjane. Your alright :) ! I did a little research and irregular bleeding can be the result of hormonal changes such as increased stress. Both of us are in exams at the moment so I hope that's the reason.

Torog: Thanks for the constructive post. I won't ask you to see it from my point of view as your ultimately the intelligent one here (for once, jk :p ). I understand everything you say but like I said, we really can't have a child. Even if we wanted to we live too far away from eachother and couldn't possibly support one. Adoption isn't an option as my gf's mum is wholly against that, more so then termination.
:( My biggest fear is that I can't be around to support my gf should the worst happen. Like I said, we both have exams for another two weeks and it is really costly for me to go visit her (she has a train pass). I'm trying not to worry too much as her test is tomorrow and it's probably alright but should she have to have a termination, I don't think I could forgive myself. Try not to think too harsh of me, i'm not trying to escape responsibility and i'd never run away from my problems but the fact is it's our only option.
She says she'll love me whatever happens. I don't think I deserve her. I just hope i'm being paranoid. :(

Thanks for the help to everyone who offered some. I'll let you know what happens.

[Cheery Cherry]

Hello BB! Can you go with her if she is pregnant and she needs to terminate the pregnancy? I would do everything in your power to be able to stand by her side, if you really care for her. Having an abortion, for some women, can be an emotional experience. Make sure you let her know everything will be fine and tell her over and over why it is the right thing to do, because she may know why she's doing this, but her heart may feel tremendous guilt over this, if she is pro-life, like you said.

I wish you and your girlfriend lots of luck and everything will work out fine. ;)

[slipknotpsycho]

omg i really wish Torog would stop going around thinking HE is god and passing judgment on people....that shit is quite irritating.....Torog is a hypocritical christian, his faith teaches him not to judge but he does in just about every post....and BB i wasn't passin judgement on you, i understand how at certain points you just cannot have one. we shouldn't even be rasing ours. but we didn't have money for an abortion so we have to. oh well someday i'll look back on it all and appreciate it, atleast i hope.

[Button Basher]

Thanks psycho, sorry to flip out. I hope you understand.

To cheerycherry: I'm trying to be as supportive as possible. The advice from you guys (particularly Torog's to be honest) has made me think about whether my girlfriend is keeping her feelings on the subject from me. She said she was pro-life (in her words "i'm 100% pro-life") but when she asked me honestly what I thought I replied "we can't have a child." She understands where I am coming from but I think she may be stifling her feelings so as not to put pressure on me. My god this is making me feel bad. To add additional pressure, we are keeping it from our parents. We're both adults and simply don't want our folks to worry but should she need a termination there's no way I would be able to go with her :( . She has great friends who have been in similar situations and are helping her greatly. I assured her a million and one times everything would work out fine and we need to stay positive (no pun intended) but it's so much harder for her, I don't know if I really understand that yet. I feel like i'm just a useless, irresponsible bf :( but there's so little I can do right now.

Anyway, we already agreed. If the tests are positive, i'll have to make sure I know exactly how she feels. Chances are i'll hate myself for a very long time.

Tsk, what a lesson learned :rolleyes: . This is NOT what a stoner needs!

Thanks again.

[muncheemama]

Bleeding doesnt mean pregnant. chill out. Sometimes it just happens, maybe you were getting too busy under that duvet. its scary, but i dont think youll be doing "warming up" anymore, nothing pulls your head out like a good old fashioned pregnancy scare....It happens to us all...

[Button Basher]

Ain't that the truth. :D

Feeling a lot better. Thanks guys, i'd send you all a blunt if I could. :)

[Torog]

Ain't that the truth. :D

Feeling a lot better. Thanks guys, i'd send you all a blunt if I could. :)
Howdy BB,

I'm glad that you feel better..but it ain't over quite yet..so hang in there,we're all rooting for y'all. I understand that you're caught between a rock and a hard spot..and I need to git busy and start prayin for y'all..you need all the help you can get. Let this be a lesson for you and stop treating sex so casually,it does have consequences that you must face-one way or another. I hope that your gal is just having female problems,because if you really love each other,a child is the single most precious gift that you can share together,that and un-conditional love for each other. I can rest in peace,knowing that I brought a most wonderful daughter into the world,there's one good thing that I have done in my life..and I became a father at 19..I put aside my wants and began providing for my family.

I re-read my earlier post,and I must agree with slip,that I was being somewhat harsh and judgemental,I apologize for that. I do tend to be somewhat too judgemental at times,but dang it..I got 46 years of livin life behind me and I don't want to see y'all younguns making the same mistakes that I've made..I have to remind myself though,it's our mistakes that make us who we are and sometimes we have to learn the hard way,but if your smart,you'll try not to repeat the mistakes that caused you grief..and you'll be that much stronger..when ya git to the other side.

Have a good one ....:)

[DonnieDarko]

Button .....

If you ask for advice on a message board, you gotta expect all kinds of opinions (and judgements), so try not to take it personally. The fact that they took time out to write means that they care.

As someone above said "unprotected sex is fucking dumb". That is correct, but we've all done dumb things. I've been in the exact situation, pulling out (real smart) and having some bleeding and a late period. In my case no pregnancy. That was 30 years ago, and I wasn't ready.

I wish you the best, and you seem like a caring and responsible person so both of you will handle whatever comes. If this does turn out to be a false alarm, be sure to learn from the scare (I did).

[muncheemama]

Bleeding doesnt mean pregnant. chill out. Sometimes it just happens, maybe you were getting too busy under that duvet. its scary, but i dont think youll be doing "warming up" anymore, nothing pulls your head out like a good old fashioned pregnancy scare....It happens to us all...
god damn im smart.... :)

[Button Basher]

Aaaw, you guys... :)

I'm glad I read this thread again when I was lean :D . Tomorrow is the day! I'll let you know as soon as I do.

Thanks again for everyones help.

[Button Basher]

Thought i'd update this in case anyone was curious. Basically my girl took the test and apparently "it didn't work"!

...

Good, that's good ¬.¬ ! She got it done at her college so she's gonna take matters into her own hands and do a home test. My spider sense isn't tingling anymore, I think it might be alright, particularly as she hasn't shown any other symptons of pregnancy. Just have to wait and see. ;)

[Jekl]

I would suggest your girlfriend see's a doctor just to be sure she's not pregant. And if she is you both should do what you feel is right, if you are not ready for a child & cannot provide for a child then maybe a abortion is the right choice. I have gone through an abortion with my girlfriend, its not plesant to say the least but we both were not ready. Do what ever you think is right. Good Luck.

[likemclever]

Button I say you and your girl need to cccccalm down. Just wait for her to have her period but if she is stressing the fuck out (and I know she is) it will more than likely delay her period. Every time I'm under alot of stress my period might be as much as four days late...so cool out. Chances are that she is NOT so just take a deep breth.

[mellow mood]

seriously who cares bout being pro-life or not. and who cares if you abort your baby that you will no longer be considered as "pro-life"

is it supposed to be "pro-life" to give the capital sentence, which is death, in the half of the states in USA?

it seems ppl call what they are when its arranging emsleves. yes BB made a fuckin dumb error, but he cant afford to have a baby. thats it.

[Button Basher]

Thank fuck for that, nothing to worry about. Everythings cool in the southern front. :eek: :cool: What a trip!

Adidas, Maryjanemama, Torog, muncheemama, likemclever, Jekl, mellow mood, donniedarko, you guys are the shit. Thanks a lot for helping me out with this, you did more then you think.

I guess that's ONE fetus Krishna Rajanna WON'T be stirring into his pot noodle :cool: ! (gross)

Thanks again you lot.

[Torog]

Thank f*ck for that, nothing to worry about. Everythings cool in the southern front. :eek: :cool: What a trip!

Adidas, Maryjanemama, Torog, muncheemama, likemclever, Jekl, mellow mood, donniedarko, you guys are the shit. Thanks a lot for helping me out with this, you did more then you think.

I guess that's ONE fetus Krishna Rajanna WON'T be stirring into his pot noodle :cool: ! (gross)

Thanks again you lot.
Howdy BB,

I say...thank God..I'm glad that you didn't have to make a decision about whether to abort or not. I think that given this scare,y'all should try and figure out your future together..do you want to git married,do you want children-and if so,when ? These are questions that need to be asked and pondered upon.

Have a good one !:)

[DonnieDarko]

Good news button ..... My advice is to play "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" each time you guys get it on.

Seriously, sex is fun, natural and great when done with love .... but as you found out, there can be real consequences for the unprepared, even one mistake. Enjoy your youth .... with caution.

[Cheery Cherry]

(((HUGS))) Thank goodness.

[daZenfmeister]

Okay torog no offence but that pic you posted of an abortion after 27 weeks is bullshit..........first of all there is no such thing as a 27 week abortion unless there is a serious problem with the fetus and the host is in danger. So please dont post that disgusting bullshit here...

[daZenfmeister]

Did more reading you can also get an abortion at 27 weeks if the pregnancy resulted from rape incest or other such circumstances. But it's still very rare. Most partial birth abortions occur before 27 weeks but after 15 weeks...

[slipknotpsycho]

aww man you forgot me >< oh well i dun care

[Button Basher]

I did?.. Are you sure?.. I'm pretty sure I did! Oh well, just to be sure.

*hands psycho a fat spliff*

[jacquelyne]

Usually if you are pregnant the only time that you may have slight bleeding or spotting around the time of your regular due period its called implantation bleeding.If she is not due just wait.If her periods are regular all of the time and she is just a day late then definatley do a test.Other than that its very severe to be bleeding while pregnant.If you decide on an abortion dont mess around until the baby is developed do it as soon as possible.Nobody should judge you well i hope they dont.Good luck i hope if she is preg you make the right choice for your future and your family.Dont be pressured by others just consider what you and your partner want.Always look at the big picture and remember how old you are. and what you can provide and cope with.

[Creeper]

you don't think cave women just killed their babies when they were tired of having it?

Thats pretty stupid to say......specially since cave women didnt have to worry about getting through school, and getting a job to support the damn kid.....all they had to do was cut off a chunk of dino meat and throw that shit to the little monsters...Its always a different view once you get behind the wheel. Me personally, if the kid needs to be aborted then so be it, its not like its running around and going look mommy, look daddy I found a flower, and then you crushing its skull in with a rock or something....sometimes it just aint ment to be, if god lets the doctor take the baby out of you.....then obviously it was ment to be or else the doc would lose his tongs or something if it wasnt sposed to happen, I believe in fate, if it happens it was meant to happen.

But good to hear that you came through this alright bb. Just wrap it up and pull her out when ya think its time to let loose some dna goo.