I NEED HELP!!! FAST!!!!

[StarcommanderX]

SO THIS GUY WAS DELIVERING A PACKAGE TO MY DOOR WHILE I WAS PLAYING WITH MY SHOTGUN AND I ACCIDENTLY SHOT HIM TO DEATH!!! OMG WTF!!! HOW DO I DISPOSE OF THE BODY!!!! MY FRONT DOOR IS SHATTERED AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER THE FRONT PORCH!!! AND ITS 9 AM!!! DO I NEED TO CUT HIM UP IN THE BATH TUB???? !!!!! WHERES THE BEST PLACE TO PUT THE BODY???!!! IN A GARBAGE DISPOSAL??? THE LAKE??? THE WOODS??? BURN HIM??!!! AHHHH I AM FREAKING OUT!!!! WHAT DO I DO WITH HIS VEHICLE?? DO I RUN IT OFF A CLIFF ??? WHAT??!!!! I AM SO FUCKED!!!

[Gumby]

the best thing to do with a body is feed it to pigs... go get snatch and fastforward it to about the middleish of the movie... he give you a five minute speech about it... sounds easy if you can find you some nice pigs...

ps. don't kill people it's not good...

[xNoa]

lol first things first clean the fucking blood off the front door
actually i dont know why im bothering

[StarcommanderX]

but it was an accident. btw, im using a band saw to cut up the body, is there a better tool to use?

[Reefer Rogue]

Do something about the smell, coz that is what gives it away. Either go cannible style or bury his dead ass. Leave no fingerprints. :cool:

[NoosaHeads]

Put him in a Bucket and Mail him to his parents....

and you could at least do the right thing and finish off his Deleveries for him....

[StarcommanderX]

well, heres a quick update: i cut up him body into 6 in x 6 in squares and put them in a garbage bag. then i put a big plant infront of the door and drove his van into the garage. but i think some of the neighbors mught have seen me, so i am currently planning on how to delete them from the neighborhood. btw, how long does it take for human flesh to naturally de-compose in soil?

[BUZz UK]

no, skin him, pin it to the wall to dry, castrate him and pickle his penis, crucify the skinless body, in your back garden, then set it on fire, don the skin-cloak, eat the pickled cock, climb onto the burning crucifix, wearing the skin-cloak, hold on with one hand whilst waving like a cowboy hat with the other, and screaming and baying like a mating Stag!

[NoosaHeads]

Do us a favour and walk to the nearest Nut Farm and commit yourself..
Im sure if you tell the Nice people at the front desk what you told us.
They'd Be more than happy to sighn you in and get a straight jacket on you...

[thewooman]

asshole! and if you are telling the truth about murding somone by accident (dumbass) this is why us stoners have a bad name, cus they hear about dumbass's like you and think we're all phycopaths.

lay off the cocain son.

[Darkneon420]

heres what you do: Yes cutt up the bodie, make sure hes not recidnisable is he is found so mess up his face real bad, yes put him inside a garabage bag, dig a hole, and put him in. Get rid of your shotgun and all the blood. Have a nice day!!!

[hipEstoner]

is this a joke cuz if it isnt ur fucked

[carmzilla]

eat him.

[Beeblebrox.420]

asshole! and if you are telling the truth about murding somone by accident...
:rolleyes:


joke: (jök)
n.

1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4. Informal.

1. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
2. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.

[Reefer Rogue]

^^ LOL.

[TheLion]

no, skin him, pin it to the wall to dry, castrate him and pickle his penis, crucify the skinless body, in your back garden, then set it on fire, don the skin-cloak, eat the pickled cock, climb onto the burning crucifix, wearing the skin-cloak, hold on with one hand whilst waving like a cowboy hat with the other, and screaming and baying like a mating Stag! I envisioned every bit of it vividly, and I laughed my ass off. I suggest the rest of you do the same...

[DonnieDarko]

Call Winston "The Wolf" Wolfe from Pulp Fiction. He solves problems.

[InhaleItALL]

So not funny. And if it were true, I hope you get a nice boyfriend in prison so that his balls can slap against your ass cheeks when he bends you over to be his prison bitch.

Perhaps Ron should forward it to the Houston police dept. just to be on the safe side. :)

[koshea]

incase youve never read this guys posts before

hes not serious

[Beeblebrox.420]

Well, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!

[yocass]

YOU ASSHOLE, THATS SO MEAN, YOUR GOI... sorry, forgot to switch out of -200 IQ mode. you never cease to bring out the stupidity in people starcommander lol.

[Doobie Snax]

fill a bath up with water
put him in
slice his neck ear to ear
this drains most of the blood

Peace

[thewooman]

Quote:
Originally Posted by thewooman
asshole! and if you are telling the truth about murding somone by accident...



Quote:
Originally Posted by dictionary.com
joke: (jök)
n.

1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4. Informal.

1. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
2. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.

YES, but jokes are ment to be amusing and funny, wheres the fucking joke? plus i doubt if a police man found this site he would find it funny. iv also seen him post stuff about smoking out of somones pussy/mans pee hole, by shoving weed up there ass and lighting it. everything this guy has posted makes no sense lol :confused:

[DonnieDarko]

woo-->

It'll all make sense when you turn 15.

[mellow mood]

seriously starcommander your always posting stupid threads. grow up

[thewooman]

....

well you certenly shut me up.... lol

[GTC21]

It doesn't matter if he's joking or not, the police would take it seriously, they have to.
It's like when you get those assholes who go through an airport and joke about having a bomb in their bag or drugs.

[TheLion]

So not funny. And if it were true, I hope you get a nice boyfriend in prison so that his balls can slap against your ass cheeks when he bends you over to be his prison bitch.

Perhaps Ron should forward it to the Houston police dept. just to be on the safe side. :)
Lighten up and smoke a bowl, man.

[TheLion]

You guys are being squares. This guy is fucking hilarious and I enjoy all of his posts.

[mellow mood]

not me actually. read more his posts, maybe u missed some..

[yocass]

why does everything always have to be serious? damnet he is funny even if some of his posts arent. If you dont find him funny, dont click on a damn thread that he starts. duh.

[mellow mood]

curiosity always have the last word. lol

[yocass]

haha true dat

[mellow mood]

lol

[thewooman]

sill, the police would'nt take this seroiusly, and if they catched him tlking about how to dispose of a dead body, everyone else gave him ad-vice, the police will think this is a fucked up place where fucking phycopathic idiots come to like plan murders, and links to child porn and shit.

police dont take jokes... even if there funny ones.

[Looker]

GOTTA CALL FRANKIE THE FIXER....

[Looker]

Call Winston "The Wolf" Wolfe from Pulp Fiction. He solves problems.

I dunno was that his name??....any way I think I got the concept....

[Looker]

There was a Frankie the Fixer where I grew up....

[forestcouch]

knock out teeth, drive him somewhere FAR away i mean FAR fucking away, an area where no one is around for miles, dig a grave, pour gasoline all over his body, set him on fire and make sure he burns to a total crips, then smash up teeth, and make sure the fingerprints are burned apart. then smash whats left of his body (it will be weak now) into dust, spread it around so it doesnt look like anything but ash. burn it one more time for good measure, then bury it. the guy will be missing but theyre should be no evidence. oh and get the bullet out of him.

[flyby357]

Now was that a shotgun u used or a 9mm?

[mrdevious]

If that actually happened, the best thing to do would gets some gloves and a body suit, break into a home and garden place at night, and buy some lime. you burry a body in that shit and it's disolved in 3-4 months :cool:

[skinupsimon]

no, skin him, pin it to the wall to dry, castrate him and pickle his penis, crucify the skinless body, in your back garden, then set it on fire, don the skin-cloak, eat the pickled cock, climb onto the burning crucifix, wearing the skin-cloak, hold on with one hand whilst waving like a cowboy hat with the other, and screaming and baying like a mating Stag!


^^^ LMAO ^^^

[StarcommanderX]

seriously starcommander your always posting stupid threads. grow up

man, fuck that shit.

[StarcommanderX]

Now was that a shotgun u used or a 9mm?

it was a 12 gauge SPAS12. some serious heat!!!!

[kami]

SO THIS GUY WAS DELIVERING A PACKAGE TO MY DOOR WHILE I WAS PLAYING WITH MY SHOTGUN AND I ACCIDENTLY SHOT HIM TO DEATH!!! OMG WTF!!! HOW DO I DISPOSE OF THE BODY!!!! MY FRONT DOOR IS SHATTERED AND BLOOD IS ALL OVER THE FRONT PORCH!!! AND ITS 9 AM!!! DO I NEED TO CUT HIM UP IN THE BATH TUB???? !!!!! WHERES THE BEST PLACE TO PUT THE BODY???!!! IN A GARBAGE DISPOSAL??? THE LAKE??? THE WOODS??? BURN HIM??!!! AHHHH I AM FREAKING OUT!!!! WHAT DO I DO WITH HIS VEHICLE?? DO I RUN IT OFF A CLIFF ??? WHAT??!!!! I AM SO FUCKED!!!

r u for reel?!

[Juggalotus17]

Hahahaha!!!! That's mad funny, everyone like was trying to give advice to help him out and he was probably just chillin there smokin' a fat blunt laughin at yall. If he really killed someone, you think he'd be stupid enough to even tell anyone, including on a message board??

Hahaha thats mad funny starcommander.

[vicstar]

lol wtf u must be thick to beleive it its a just some random joke lols and ur all giving him advise or was tht part of the joke as well im so confused haha!
seriously if he did it he wouldnt log on to cannabis .com and start posting about it haha its not even funny either if it was meant to be

[Looker]

NO NO YOU NEWBS STARCOMMANDERS THE SHIT! :D

[unmeg]

Call Winston "The Wolf" Wolfe from Pulp Fiction. He solves problems.
the first smart answer yet.lol :D

[Anonymous]

you got him with a shoty huh

poor a drink in his mouth and see if it comes out all the holes cuz i always wanted to know if that was true

[anycraic]

you got him with a shoty huh

poor a drink in his mouth and see if it comes out all the holes cuz i always wanted to know if that was true

yes its true ,or so ive heard (ahem cough cough)

[StarcommanderX]

heres a quick update: after a couple o days, a police officer came by to question me because of my name being on the delivery list and all, and the delivery man being missing, and he asked me all these shitty questions that made me sweat like a mexican. well, unfortunately, i got really nervous and viciously attacked him with a ball point pen which, apparently, was in my hand. after a few stabs I realized the pen wasnt enough to kill him so I casually walked over to the garage and took out the lawn mower. he was furiously crawling to his patrol car because I had stabbed his thighs mutiple times (im short) so I quickly started up the mower and pushed it over his screaming body. I had to go over him a few times, but the mower just badly cut up his flesh without killing him, so i doused him with gasoline and lit him like a candle. unfortunately, his sonic screams woke up most of the neighborhood. that might be a problem. so im planning to go over to sporting goods store later and pick up a few .38s and ammo. that should take care of those nosy neighbors!!!! wish me luck and KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!

[forestcouch]

Hahahaha!!!! That's mad funny, everyone like was trying to give advice to help him out and he was probably just chillin there smokin' a fat blunt laughin at yall. If he really killed someone, you think he'd be stupid enough to even tell anyone, including on a message board??

Hahaha thats mad funny starcommander.


uhhh pretty sure no one acctually thinks he did it, and in fact were all laughing at you for thinking we were serious.

[luckydan]

You definatly need the wolfman,I must be sooo stoned to be replieing to this one.

[luckydan]

heres a quick update: after a couple o days, a police officer came by to question me because of my name being on the delivery list and all, and the delivery man being missing, and he asked me all these shitty questions that made me sweat like a mexican. well, unfortunately, i got really nervous and viciously attacked him with a ball point pen which, apparently, was in my hand. after a few stabs I realized the pen wasnt enough to kill him so I casually walked over to the garage and took out the lawn mower. he was furiously crawling to his patrol car because I had stabbed his thighs mutiple times (im short) so I quickly started up the mower and pushed it over his screaming body. I had to go over him a few times, but the mower just badly cut up his flesh without killing him, so i doused him with gasoline and lit him like a candle. unfortunately, his sonic screams woke up most of the neighborhood. that might be a problem. so im planning to go over to sporting goods store later and pick up a few .38s and ammo. that should take care of those nosy neighbors!!!! wish me luck and KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!
Wish my local sport store sold guns & amo

[daZenfmeister]

Actually starcommanderx i think your best bet would be to wire a few of you neighbors cars with C4 so that when they start it up it explodes then if there are any nosy ones left just plant land mines under their sunday newspapers and record it on a dig camera and post it so we can watch the fun go down!

[sykobabble]

i want the fucking body parts.im hungry

[StarcommanderX]

wait a few days for the maggots to activate the flavor crystals

[4thpower]

you can stay at my place if you need to hide out.

[Sensi Super Skunk]

Call Winston "The Wolf" Wolfe from Pulp Fiction. He solves problems.
Good one. Just what I was going to say.

[TheLion]

NO NO YOU NEWBS STARCOMMANDERS THE SHIT! :D
Wurd to your mother.

[scoops]

You should of just called the wolf